Disclaimer- NONE OF HARRY POTTER IS MINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
F.Y.I. Italics is for thoughts.
Chapter 2- Let the Tears Fall.
Hermione screamed and jolted awake from her nightmare. She scrambled to the opposite end of the seat. As she regained control over her breathing she pushed a sleeve up and traced the cuts and scars on her wrist and began picking at one of the cuts she had made that morning.
"What are you doing?" asked a silky smooth voice. Hermione jumped up and looked to the other side of the cabin where two silver-blue eyes were looking out at her from a shadow.
"Malfoy!?" she cried.
"Yes. What's on your wrist, Granger?" He said, stepping over to her.
"Nothing to do with you!" she snapped. "Why are you here? This is the Head's compartment."
"I know it is." He gave her a smirk.
"Oh, no! Please say you're not Head Boy?" Hermione said with a groan.
"Don't see why I should lie. What's the problem, Granger?" he said.
"Oh, God." Hermione said sitting down. Now on top of everything else I have to share living space with this arse? God, give me strength.
McGonagall entered the compartment and explained to them their duties so Draco sat back down and resumed watching Hermione, which disturbed her to no end.
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"The password for the Main Entrance is already set. It is Servo Invicium. You may choose a password for your rooms and it will automatically set itself. Make yourselves at home and please try to get along." McGonagall said and left.
"Servo Invicium." Draco said clearly and the portrait swung open. As they stepped through Hermione muttered "Protect each other. Typical."
The two stopped dead at the sight of their new home. A huge, bright white room met their gaze. A thick black carpet lay on the floor and four large sofas were placed strategically in the room. Several large bookcases full of old books stood against the near wall and at the opposite end was a large marble fireplace already crackling away. Two desks were by one wall and they had several quills and inkwells.
They wandered through one arch to a smaller room of marble and mahogany. A large white fridge stood in a corner along with many countertops, a black oven and loads of different kitchen appliances. Another arch led to a small corridor with two portraits next to each other- one of a prancing lion with a crown on its head, the other with a jet black snake hissing, a crown also atop its head. Hermione turned to the first portrait and softly said "ego sum infirmus satis" Yes. She thought I am not strong enough. It's fitting. Hermione repeated the password and stepped into her new room just as she heard Malfoy saying "You've changed Hermione."
As she pondered these words, she looked around the large room. The walls were black; the carpet red with a huge window looking out over the Grounds and a door leading off into the bathroom she would share with Malfoy. In one corner, by the window, stood a magnificent four poster bed, made of mahogany and with red and gold sheets on it. Loads of tall bookcases stood empty and a large oak wardrobe spread down one wall and another wall had a large desk and several chests of drawers. Hermione flopped down on the bed and felt herself drifting off. No! She was not going to let herself dream of him again. She would just have to keep busy. So, she went to her luggage and began to hang up her clothes, unload her books and equipment. When she had finally finished, she laid out some nightclothes and wandered into the gleaming white bathroom. She moved over to the other door and knocked sharply on the heavy door. It opened and there stood Malfoy in black silk pyjamas.
"Yes, Herm- Granger? What do you want?" Draco asked.
"I'm going to have a bath so your door will be locked. Ok?" Hermione asked, stifling a yawn.
"Ok." Draco said plainly and shut the door.
Hermione shook her head and locked the door. She filled the bath with hot, bubbly water and she grabbed her razor from her room. She sank into the hot water and relaxed. She finally let herself think and the first thing that came into her head was her tutor's words "You little slut… You've been begging for it." They chased around her head and she cringed and cut across her hip a little way with her razor. Her stomach growled hungrily. She hadn't eaten for a while. She grinned. She thought to herself how well she was doing, soon she would be thin and pretty and people would like her. Then everyone would want her and she would show him wrong. People would love her. But until then, she was just as fat as she was. Fat, ugly and pathetic. She winced and curled up as much as she could. She quickly decided to wash her hair and then get out of the bath. As she watched the water drain away, she grabbed her razor again and slid it across her wrist, slowly and watched the blood bubble out. She cut again and again and black spots danced in front of her eyes. She sat down, grabbed a towel and pressed it against the cuts, staunching the blood. Suddenly, there was a knocking sound from Malfoy's door.
"Are you done in there? I need the toilet!" Draco yelled through the door.
"Almost!" Hermione squeaked. She folded the towel over and put it back, grabbed her razor and unlocked Malfoy's door. She ran out, forgetting to cover herself up but fortunately, Malfoy didn't come round the door quick enough to see anything.
Once in her room, Hermione pulled on the shorts, once fitting well on her put now were practically falling off her, and a yellow camisole that was basically hanging of her shoulders. She grabbed a sketch pad and pencil and went downstairs.
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Draco washed his hands and grabbed a towel to dry them. He felt the towel was wet so he threw it to the corner to be washed but as it lay in a heap, he caught sight of something red on the towel. He walked over to it, picked it up and opened it out. On it, there were multiples streaks of blood that were till seeping into the material. Fuck!
He ran to the door leading to Hermione's room and tried to open it but it was obviously locked. He raced down the corridor and saw her with her thin, bony legs hooked over the edge of a sofa and she was lying with her back on the seat of it. In her hands was a pad which she was looking at intently.
"Hermione! Oh my God! You're ok?!" Draco cried, sliding into the room.
"Yeah, what's up with you?" Hermione asked rudely.
"From you?!" He yelled. "What the fuck is this!?" He held up the blood stained towel and Hermione paled.
"H-how would I know?" she stammered.
"Because it was clean, you went in for a bath and now it is covered in blood!" he cried.
"How do you know it was clean before?" she asked, racking her brain for some way out of this.
"Are you trying to say that someone got blood on it last year and somehow it stayed wet?" he said exasperatedly.
"W-well, no." Hermione rose to her feet and tried to walk to the corridor but Malfoy caught her by the wrist. She winced.
"Get off me!" Hermione yelped.
He raised his hand with the towel in it and Hermione cowered back in fear.
"I'm sorry. I'll never do it again. I'm sorry, please don't hurt me!" she cried. Draco let go off her wrist.
"What? I'm not going to hurt you. Hermione?" He called as she ran away, trembling, tears streaking her face.
Why did she act as if I would hit her? What is up with her? She's falling. I can feel her slipping.
Draco wandered back to his room and heard sobbing from Hermione's room. He sighed and went to his bedroom.
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Hermione lay on her bed sobbing. When Draco had held her wrist like that, she could just see her father's face in his. She could feel the same waves of rage pouring off him. Did Malfoy hate her? Just one more person to add to the list. She scrambled over to her desk, wiping the tears away. After picking at a scab, she grabbed one of her new school books and decided to re-read it. After more or less an hour, Hermione had finished it. So, she grabbed 2 more books and a writing pad and shuffled to the common room. She dropped them all on the floor by the sparking fire, grabbed a bottle of water and sat down on the squishy carpet, leaning against one of the cool chairs.
She decided to continue the story she'd been working on for a while. Soon she was engrossed in her work and didn't notice Malfoy enter the room.
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He'd come to get some water as he'd just woken with a sore throat and as he walked in, he saw Hermione. He walked quietly so he didn't disturb her; he didn't want to freak her out again. He studied her in the glowing firelight. Her pale skin was lit softly and her brown eyes seemed to be flickering with the fire. She was writing something intently. Her face was awash with happiness and seemed to bask in the warmth from the fire. She was so gorgeous when she was relaxed. He took in the rest of her. Her clothes were almost falling off her, she was so thin and bones were virtually sticking out of her skin. She hadn't been eating again probably. He so badly wanted to gather her frail body in his arms and make every horrible thing in her life better. He wanted to save her from the nightmares. But how could he if she never let him near?
He silently and swiftly moved out of the room, whispered his password and entered his dorm room.
He walked to his bed, slid between the sheets and dropped off with dreams of his love wandering into his mind.
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Hermione jolted awake. Her fathers laugh still echoing through her head. She opened her eyes to a dying fire chocking out charred embers and ash. She sat up, gathered up her stuff and trailed back to her room. She changed into a knee length, blue dress with long sleeves, pulled on some knee high white socks and slipped on some ballet shoes. She wandered down to the kitchen where Draco was sitting eating some pancakes. He had no shirt on and was only wearing green silk boxers.
"Oh, God!" Hermione yelped as she turned and put her hand over her eyes.
"I'm going out and you'd better have some bloody clothes on when I get back!" Hermione yelled walking blindly towards what she hoped was the door. She walked into it and quickly grabbed the handle and left. She walked swiftly down the stairs and outside. She breathed in the cold, fresh air and made her way down to the edge of the lake. She sat there, hugging herself, trying to keep calm.
Since when has Malfoy looked hot? He had such muscles and he was so tightly ripped. No. She told herself. Don't let yourself fall in love. He hates you. He tried to it you. He's like your father. He'll just try to get whatever it is he wants and then he'll leave you. He wouldn't want you anyway, not after you tempted that bastard. He wouldn't want a tainted little slut like you.
Her thoughts were broken by two people sitting themselves heavily by her. She looked to her sides to see her two best friends.
"HARRY, RON!!" she was suddenly tackled by the two and bear-hugged. She sat up, wincing as they got off her.
"Hey, why weren't you at the Feast yesterday?" Ron asked her.
"Oh, I had to do Head-Girl business. Sorry" Hermione said flatly.
"What's up, Herms?" Harry said, looking closely at her.
"Nothing. Nothing! For fucks sake!" she yelled as they peered at her intrusively.
"Whatever." They said in unison, standing up.
"She obviously doesn't want to be around us at the moment" sneered Ron and they both walked off, not seeing the tears that slid freely down her face.
She wrapped her arms around her drawn up knees and let the tears fall.
A/N. Hey, this is longer than it was originally. Cool! I hoped you liked it. I know Hermione's is really 'emo' at the moment but don't worry- it will have a happy ending. Please review with your thoughts/suggestion/flames. Should I continue it?
All my love,
--Annamh.
Servo Invicium-Protect each other (latin))
(Ego sum infirmus satis-I am not strong enough)