The first place Zack and Cody wanted to go was downstairs, so they began to walk down the hall.
"Have you noticed that Donald Duck doesn't wear pants?" asked Cody.
"That's exactly why he's my hero," replied Zack. "Remember that one time when we were younger and Mom took us to the beach and my bathing suit bottoms got itchy and—"
"Don't remind me," shivered Cody.
"Shush!" hissed Zack. "Do you hear that? It sounds like Muriel and Esteban are talking!"
"I know what you're thinking and no," said Cody. "Remember the time we thought we heard an animal being tortured and told Mom, only to find out that it was just some Scotsman?"
"Cody, the only people who would remember that sort of stuff would be a kid's TV show writer whose memory lasted for longer than two hours, and we all know those don't exist," said Zack, rolling his eyes.
"Well, we'd need our special listening equipment, right?" said Cody, trying to find a way out of falling for another one of his brother's idiotic schemes.
Zack whipped out two stethoscopes from his shorts pockets.
Cody decided he was better off not asking Zack how he always had what he needed with him, sighed, and took one of the stethoscopes. The two brothers bent down, pressed the stethoscopes against the wall, and eavesdropped on Esteban and Muriel's conversation.
"I'm telling you, it'll never work!" said Muriel's voice.
"Of course it will," said Esteban's voice. "Haven't I always been right?"
"Except for the ninety-nine percent of times you were wrong, yeah, you've always been right."
"Oh, must you always have this kind of attitude? If you continue to think that way, the plan will never work!"
"But what if they suspect?"
"They won't."
"How can you be sure?"
"Just trust me."
"Well, it's almost time for me to go. I've gotta go to my Aunt Flo's hundredth birthday. Suddenly, turning one hundred is a big deal!"
"See you late, Muriel. And don't forget: We meet again at Sprouse's Grocery Store at ten o'clock tonight!"
Zack and Cody put down their stethoscopes and walked around a corner. They paused, waited for Muriel to leave (while pretending to inspect the paintings on the wall), then walked back around the corner only to see Esteban walking by, innocently whistling. "Hey, Esteban," said Zack and Cody in unison.
Esteban nearly jumped a foot in the air. "Aaah! Little blonde peoples! What have I told you about sneaking up on me like that?"
"Since the writers have a terrible memory, I can't really recall," replied Zack.
"What the heck inspired you to say that?" asked Cody.
"Let's just say I'm a mind reader and my special talents are at their highest when I feel as though someone's watching me, particularly, shall I say…a large majority of people?" shrugged Zack, winking at the audience.
Cody figured the stress of getting their English assignment done was finally getting to Zack, so he said to Esteban, "So, Esteban, Zack and I couldn't help but hear you and Muriel talking. What were you talking about?"
"Nothing," said Esteban quickly. "I know nothing little blonde peoples. I didn't talk to anyone. We didn't agree to meet anywhere. Why are you asking? Are you planning on turning me in?" Esteban quickly regretted saying that and covered his mouth, but it was too late.
"Turning you in where?" asked Zack, crossing his arms.
Esteban's eyes darted madly around the hall as he tried to think up an excuse to get out of having to blow everything: "I…oh, I, uh…I just meant, uh…oh, is that the time? I'd better get going! I don't want to be late for, uh…the last-minute sale on the Hannah Montana tickets! I'd better bring my javelin along; I've heard those girls can be nasty!" Before Zack or Cody could further confront Esteban by pointing out that Hannah Montana only performs in Malibu on the same stage every freaking time she sings and never goes on tour for some strange reason that would suggest a lack of knowledge of singing sensations due to a writer's laziness, Esteban ran faster than a cheetah.
There was a thirty-second pause before Cody said, "A javelin?"
"Actually, that's a pretty good excuse," said Zack. "Believe me, those girls can get pretty ugly!"
Cody decided he was better off not asking Zack how he knew that and raced Zack to the elevator.
ZCZCZCZC
"Thank you and do come again," said Mr. Moseby with his usual smile on his face down in the lobby.
The couple who had stayed at the Tipton overnight gave Mr. Moseby their polite smile before moving on, revealing a man with neatly combed auburn hair, a cleanly shaven face, and a smile that would put Norman Bates to shame. "Hello, Marion," said the man coolly.
For a moment or two, Mr. Moseby seemed to freeze. He didn't move a muscle, he didn't even flinch. Then, he relaxed and calmly said, "Good day, sir. How may I help you?"
"Oh…I can think of a few ways in which you can help me," said the man, still smiling. "Ways that aren't exactly…legal, you know?"
A few of the people who heard the man stopped to stare. Mr. Moseby smiled and said, "The police station is down the block, sir, if you wish to report a crime."
"I see," nodded the man. "Well…see you later, Marion." And with that, he calmly walked out of the Tipton Hotel, his head held high, the people who had heard bits and pieces of the conversation staring at him.
There was an awkward silence for about a minute before Mr. Moseby said to the next person in line, "Welcome to the Tipton Hotel. How may I help you?"
Zack and Cody, who had coincidentally overheard the conversation as they walked down to the lobby, turned to each other. "Well, that was weird," said Cody.
"Since when is Mr. Moseby not weird?" shrugged Zack.
"I mean moreso than usual," said Cody. "Didn't you get the feeling he was kind of scared by that guy? And didn't you also get the feeling that Mr. Moseby was speaking in some sort of spy code to that guy?"
"You read too much mystery novels," said Zack, rolling his eyes. "But you know what I think? I think it's time I satisfy my wicked craving for some candy!" He then raced Cody to the candy counter, where Maddie was standing.
"Hey, Maddie," said Zack. "Cody and I would like some of those jalepeno-flavoured chocolate bars."
"Ugh, you mean you would like one," said Cody, shuddering at the memory of what had happened the last time he agreed to try out the newest chocolate bar to be released at the Tipton with Zack, only to spit it back out all over the cutest girl at school.
But Maddie didn't seem to be paying attention to the two boys. Instead, she was looking longingly at a photograph.
Zack decided to try another tactic: "Hey, sweet thang!"
Maddie looked up and said, sounding rather depressed, "Oh, hey Zack. Hi, Cody. What would you two like?"
"Zack would like a jalepeno-flavoured chocolate bar," said Cody. "I would like just a regular Mars Bar."
"Wimp," coughed Zack.
"Sure," shrugged Maddie. She slowly drudged around the candy shop as she got out the two chocolate bars Zack and Cody wanted.
"Is something wrong?" asked Zack, suddenly concerned. "You seem kinda depressed."
"Oh, well, it's just that tomorrow will be the two-year anniversary since I broke up with my first love," said Maddie dejectedly.
"Oh, that's too bad," said Zack. "What happened?"
Maddie paused. "I don't want to talk about it," she said slowly. "It's just…too painful."
"Was the guy someone we know?" asked Zack.
"I said I don't want to talk about it and we'll leave it that, okay?" snapped Maddie. "Now leave me alone."
Zack and Cody looked at each other and mentally decided to go back to their room. Maddie looked down at the photo of her first love and softly said, "Oh, Hugh…I'm so sorry."
ZCZCZCZC
"Is there a full moon out tonight or something?" asked Zack. "Cuz everyone seems to be acting really weird. First Esteban, then Mr. Moseby, now Maddie."
He and Cody were now back in their hotel room, sitting at the desk, about to continue with their re-write.
"Maybe," shrugged Cody. "Of course, they're probably just having an 'off' day, like everyone does. I'm sure they'll be just fine by tomorrow. In the mean time, I suggest we continue with our re-write and discuss everyone's weirdness later." He picked up his pencil, got out a new sheet of paper, and said, "Now where were we? Oh yes…"