7

The remaining eight on the Island searched everywhere. Not a rock was left unturned, nor a cupboard left unsearched. But even then, Owen was nowhere to be seen.

"This is bloody ridiculous!" remarked Judge Moseby. "You'd think we would find something out of the ordinary by now!"

"Actually," spoke up Esteban, "There is something out of the ordinary."

"What, what?" cried Maddie.

"My tie," said Esteban, straightening it out.

Maddie rolled her eyes.

"There, there, dear, no need to fret," said Zack, linking his hand with Maddie's. "We'll find this maniac sooner or later and the sooner, the better!"

Up ahead, there was a dark room. Esteban tried feeling around for a light switch, but there wasn't one. "Aw, crackers," he grumbled. "It looks like one of us will have to go in there and see if there's anyone in the dark. Who wants to go?"

Everyone backed up two feet, leaving Esteban standing there all by himself.

"I guess that leaves me," sighed Esteban. "I, Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya De La Rosa Rogers, son of Diego Esteban Julio Ricardo Montoya De La Rosa Rogers," he took a deep breath, "and his wife, Gladys, will gladly undertake the life-risking task. Wish me luck, little peoples!"

"Good luck!" called out Zack, Maddie, and Judge Moseby.

Esteban put one foot in the room. Then, he slowly put the other. He moved forward, and then disappeared in the dark.

"Do you think he found him?" asked Zack.

"AAAAAHHH!!"

"I think that's a yes," said Maddie as they all rushed in. Zack whipped out his flashlight and sure enough, the light landed on Esteban and Patrick screaming hysterically.

"Uh, guys?" said Zack.

Esteban and Patrick stopped screaming long enough to whip towards Zack and shout, "WHAT?!" Then, they noticed each other.

"Oh, hello doctor person," said Esteban cheerfully. "How are you doing this lovely morning?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing," said Patrick coolly.

"I take it, then, that your group found nothing?" asked Judge Moseby.

"Nope, nothing," said Arwin.

"Hold it, Cody," said Zack. "I didn't say nothing, I said nuttin."

"No, you said nothing," said Cody slowly.

"I didn't say nothing, I said nuttin," said Zack.

"That's just what you said: Nothing."

"I didn't say nothing; I said nuttin."

"But you did say something!"

"I didn't say something, I said nuttin."

"But—you—oh, forget it," grumbled Cody.

"My, these cobwebs are nice," sighed Arwin. "Almost as nice as my mommy and daddy. That Richmond fellow just had to split them up. That bas—"

"Whoa, hold it, Zack," said Cody quickly. "We can't use swear words. Remember what the teacher said? She said we can't use any profanity."

"Piffle," scoffed Zack. "She is being hypocritical. Isn't the point of teaching English to promote free thinking and therefore free speech? Either that, or the point is to teach us that Shakes-beard can be hazardous to your sleep."

"When you're ready to quit making fun of people whose IQs are bigger than their shoe size, start dictating, and use more appropriate language," said Cody, his fingernails digging deeply into the pencil he was holding.

"Since I enjoy making fun of people whose IQs are bigger than their shoe size due to the fact that a character whom people can relate to is boring, you'll have to fly solo, bro," said Zack, crossing his arms.

Cody quickly came up with an ultimatum, as his inspiration well was dry at the moment: "Zack, if you agree to help, I'll find an image of Shirley Eaton on Google to put up on your bedroom wall."

Zack uncrossed his arms. "Make that an image of Shirley Eaton in her underwear and you've got yourself a deal."

"Deal," said Cody, glad to know Zack's crush on Shirley Eaton from having seen the 1965 version in class was putting itself to good use.

"My, these cobwebs are nice," sighed Arwin. "Almost as nice as my mommy and daddy. That Richmond fellow just had to split them up. That—that meanie mo!"

He burst into tears and buried his head in Maddie's shoulders. Maddie awkwardly said, "Er, there, there, things aren't as bad as they seem, and all that other mushy jazz."

"No, they ARE as bad as they seem!" Arwin said angrily, pushing Maddie off of him. "I admit it: I walked in on Richmond and my mommy kissing one day underneath the mistletoe. Now normally, she kisses Daddy or even Santa Clause underneath the mistletoe, but no; that day, she kissed Richmond! She explained to me she was going to ask daddy for a divorce, and Richmond stood there and laughed! Laughed I tell you! So I did it: I convinced my daddy to send Richmond on a suicide mission and I'm glad he's dead, okay? I killed him! I killed him once and I would do it again!" He paused and then added, "Although I'm not sure that would be physically possible, but..." And then he let out an insane, maniacal laugh.

Everyone stood there, staring at Arwin laughing. Finally, Cody said, "Er...we'll be upstairs preparing dinner, in case you want to come back to the real world."

Zack was suddenly interrupted by a knock on the door. "I'll get that," he said. He walked up to the door and opened it. There were two policemen standing in the doorway.

"Good day, young man," said the taller policeman. "We are here to question each member of your family one at a time. First, we would like to question your mother."

"Sure, she's in there," said Zack, pointing to the room their mother was in.

"This will only take a few minutes," assured the shorter policeman.

As the two disappeared behind the door, Zack said, "Most dreadful interruption. Let's get back to work, shall we?"