I sat in my cold, dark room. Upright, against my headboard, afraid. Afraid of sleep. Afraid of what it was slowly turning me into. Afraid of the chaos that twisted, and churned in my stomach as I lay down each night. Afraid, of myself. All my lust and rage, were quickly forming pacts together, plotting against my sanity, and against my control. And as it slowly eroded away my conscious thoughts, I started to see these things, that they wanted me to see. I started to see exactly what they'd been trying to tell me from the beginning.

My fantasies, and my dreams, were only ten percent, about other women that I knew. The other ninety, was about her. That black haired beauty, who's eyes we both shared. That wicked attire she always wore, even if it got her into constant trouble. That hate that I could see lining her features, it all drove me crazy. Everything about her was either dangerous, or fixated in a furious curiosity. I both loathed her, and loved her. And we both knew this.

She knew what I knew. It was simple, and destructive. She could sense my every emotion, and read my every thought as if they were placed on a canvas for her. And still, she tempted me. She knew what this was growing inside of me, and how it killed me every second, and her actions only made it worse. I loathed her... but my body. My body, my heart, even my unconscious mind, loved her. I wanted her close. I wanted her in my arms, every night for the rest of my life. And as I daydreamed, my legs hanging over my mattress, I knew it still wouldn't be enough.

'This must be what hell's like.' I mused. The words crawled across my cold lips, but no sound came out. I was exhausted.

'We just need some sleep...'

'We need her, and you know it.' My instinct responded, it's logic was stronger than my own. And it was right. I did need her. I seemed not able to breathe without her.

'Tomorrow.'

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I stared at my palm, the burned lips in the center were long gone, and all that remained was a thin outline of the silver burn. Still to this day, I couldn't figure out how that necklace got in there. But why it burned me was self-evident. I was definitely allergic to silver. And it was definitely one of those myths that actually turned out to be true. Though, in my defense, I had a hard time telling silver metals apart from all the others!

"Michael!" Nick said, knocking me out of my day dream.

I looked up, surprised and a little disoriented. "What?"

"You haven't said two things since you got here, man! Are you alright?" He asked. His honesty was something that killed me every time I had to lie to him. It was the one thing I hated about being what I was. And it was the one thing I know he hated as well.

"No, I'm just tired." My lie was convincing only too me. "I forgot to clean out that couples' room from last week, and I didn't get to sleep til three in the morning." That one was a little better.

"Your dad's really been running you ragged, huh?"

"You have no idea. What about you, you haven't been coming over lately." I asked him, changing the subject to something a little less dangerous.

"It's Emily."

"Is it bad?"

"Far from it. She wants us to move in together after school. Which means that I need to get a better job. And trust me," He said, sliding the last of the returned library books onto it's shelf, "It's definitely harder than it sounds."

I thought of Derrick's job on the oil rigs off out in the gulf, but shot the idea down because of the simple fact that Derrick didn't like Nick. I really didn't know what it was, nor cared... all I wanted was her.

"So what's up with Angela?" The words rolled off his lips like an atomic bomb. How did he know?

I looked over at him, trying to figure it out, and came up with one answer, Emily.

"Emily told you?" I asked.

"Didn't have too. The way you glance over at her every couple of minutes was enough... But yeah, she told me."

That bitch! Was it so hard to just let me suppress this! Now the whole world pretty much knew about my sexual asphyxiation regarding that damn girl! And it really was like being choked out!

"Now don't go blaming her." He said, "I asked whether or not she would be alright if I tried to get you two together."

"Thanks, but I don't think that's going to happen." I said, declining his offer.

"Why is that?" He asked, unaware of the things we shared behind his and Emily's back.

"Just trust me."

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It was day two, and the last class of the day for me. As usual, I was the first one in the class, just trying to get a few seconds of relief from my growing pain, and as usual, she was the second one to show. Sitting right in front of me, smiling as she did so, obviously reading my flattering thoughts, and grabbing the note I'd tossed on her desk as I came in.

On it was my response. 'It'd be too hard to stop if I did.'

Class hadn't even started before she slid it back, making the hair on the back of my neck stand up. I constantly clenched and released my toes as I read, stress built, and whether it was anger or lust that fueled after her words, I'll never know.

'Who says you have to stop? You've got to be the strangest being I'd ever met.'

'Thanks a lot, that definitely helps.' I wrote quickly, seeing the teacher walk over to his podium and go over his class notes before the bell. I slid it around her left and she grabbed my hand softly, snatching the note to my curling fingers. Her skin was soft and smooth. My teeth clenched and I stuffed back a day dream as hard as I could.

She held back something, as I saw her jitter a little in her chair. I prayed it wasn't a scoff. Hell, my body would've taken it worse than I would...

But, as fate would have it, she responded. And as I grabbed the note, she held it in place, just for a second, then released.

I unfolded the thee punch paper until it was, once again, flat. And her words, made me smile.

'Meet me after school, and we'll talk.'

******************************************************************************

"So what's it like, going through that sort of thing?" She asked, walking along side of me. The levee hid us from the town below, and up here, I was free to say whatever I wanted, so when she asked what it was like... I answered.

"Have you ever been so afraid of how your body will react, that you try your damnedest to stay awake? And far away from the dreams?" I said, hurting myself a little by the severity of my own words.

"Nope, but I bet it sucks."

"Yeah," I said laughing a little, "You could say that." The cool breeze washing over the river rocks and up to meet us, blew her scent right in to me. My heart pressed hard against my chest,and I could barely take in the entire breath.

I knew she felt what I felt, she was nosy like that. So when she looked over at me smiling, I didn't feel that bad. "So where are we going?" I asked, keeping her from saying what I thought she would.

"My mom's house, and don't change the subject before I can ask. That's rude." Her perfect smile glinted, those green eyes peered deep into my soul, and I could feel them digging further. "Is it like this with every girl you meet?"

"Oddly enough, no." I said, as another breeze blew her into me. That faint smell of blood lined her skin. I loved it, and again, she knew.

"Your different from the others." I began. "Your scent.. it's something I cant get enough of."

"That's whats so attractive about me?" She said stopping in her tracks. Her awestruck look, seemed to put me on the spot, and I couldn't tell whether or not I should apologize. "I guess bad habits aren't always a bad thing." She said under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing."