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Disclaimer: All Twilight characters are owned by Stephenie Meyer.
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My laughing had died down at Edward's words. He looked sad as he sunk into his seat, watching Lauren and Mike exit the cafeteria.
I took the piece of paper and pencil in my hand. What are you thinking about?
I had a feeling I knew what was on his mind. After all, he had just talked about living and he obviously…well, wasn't.
Edward looked down at the paper and then looked up at me with a sad smile. "I'm thinking that you're taking this whole ghost thing pretty well."
I knew it was a lie, but I decided not to say anything. Instead, I pulled the piece of paper toward me once again and wrote. Do I have a choice? It was my attempt at teasing him.
"If you want, I can leave," he offered.
My heart sank, thinking that he had taken my joke seriously. I wrote a reply quickly, thinking that he would now probably disappear. No! You can stay. I kind of liked having him around. Plus, after what he did to Lauren, he didn't seem like such a bad guy.
Edward smiled when he saw my note and leaned toward me. "Does that mean you like me?" he whispered, sounding hopeful.
I gulped, feeling his breath on my ear. I tried to move away from him slightly, uncomfortable by how close he was to me. It's not that I found Edward being so close to me weird, like I had with Mike; in fact it was the complete opposite. I really liked it, which was the problem.
My eyes scanned the cafeteria, wondering if anyone could see Edward so close to me. I pushed away the thought as quickly as it came. No one can see him, I reminded myself.
He chuckled at my attempt to move away from him and pulled back. "Sorry, I was only teasing you. I couldn't help it." He held his hands up as if to show he didn't mean any harm.
My thoughts suddenly went back to our conversation in my room- Edward couldn't touch anything for more than a few seconds and he couldn't actually touch another human at all. frowned, feeling disappointed.
The bell rang soon after, and people began to rise from their seats.
"I guess I will see you when you get home?" Edward asked.
"Uh, yeah," I replied.
"I promise I'll try not to scare you next time you see me."
"That'd be nice," I muttered to myself, but I am sure Edward heard me.
He began to rise from his seat and I followed him, shoving my books into my backpack. Just as I put the last book in and swung it over my shoulder, I lifted my head up to see if Edward was still there, but of course, like all the other times, he was gone.
I sighed and figured I should probably get used to it.
The rest of the day, all everyone talked about was Lauren's tantrum during lunch. I smiled, remembering her flailing her arms up and down as the teacher tried to pick out the gum from her hair. No doubt she would be needing a haircut after that.
Jessica, it turns out, wasn't too happy about Mike getting in trouble. Apparently he was suspended for three days for attempting to start a food fight. Some people even said they heard him shouting in the office, swearing that he hadn't caused it. The principal asked a few students if they had witnessed Mike actually throwing the food. Every single person said they weren't sure who really caused it, but since Lauren had accused Mike, they had no choice but to place the blame on him.
I felt bad for him, considering he hadn't actually done anything wrong, but I guess it couldn't have been helped. The real person who had done it could only be seen by me.
When school was finally over, I headed home. My mind was fixated on Edward; I wondered if he would be waiting on the porch for me, like he had been yesterday. After all, he did say he would see me again, but I guess that didn't mean it would be right away. He was probably busy doing something, right? After all, he had been wondering around for the last three years, he must have found something to do. Maybe he was out there somewhere hanging out with some other ghosts. I scoffed to myself, ghost friends? The whole idea seemed absurd, but it could be possible. Edward couldn't be the only ghost out there, could he? There had to be other people like him, people died all the time.
That's when it hit me.
Renee.
Could she be like Edward too? I wasn't sure if I liked the idea of Renee wandering around for the past two years alone. And if she were like him, why hadn't I seen her? Would she come and find me? Would she be able to find me?
As soon as I pulled into the driveway, I jumped out of my truck and rushed inside the house. I threw my backpack at the foot of the stairs and figured the first place to look for him would be in my room.
"What's the hurry?" I heard a familiar voice.
I halted to a stop just before putting my foot on the first step, spinning around to face the living room.
Edward was standing there, looking amused.
"Uh, hi," I said, blushing. I once again made myself look like an idiot.
"Hi."
"I… I was just actually going to look for you," I confessed, stuttering nervously.
"You were?" he asked curiously.
"Yeah…" Should I just ask him? Now that I had the chance to find out the truth, I was beginning to have second thoughts. If Renee were out there somewhere, wouldn't I have seen her by now? But then again, it's not like I was able to see ghosts up until Edward, so it might be possible that she could be out there, and for whatever reason, I wasn't able see her. Another thing, if indeed she were like him, wouldn't she have found me? Wouldn't she have come to visit me, to make sure that Charlie and I were doing alright? My brain seemed to be going a mile a minute, running with all kinds of possible what ifs.
"Is something wrong?" asked Edward, concerned.
"No, it's just that…" My heart was pounding in my ears. " Uh, I was… wondering…" if you have seen my mom? I couldn't get the last words out. My mouth went dry, and my stomach was twisting in knots. I clenched my hands at my sides, trying to calm myself down, but I couldn't. I was terrified, utterly and completely terrified. What if he said no? If he did, it would mean that I would never be able to see Renee again. I wasn't even sure if I wanted to see her again. It wasn't that I didn't miss her; I missed her all the time. It was just that I wouldn't know exactly what I would say to her. Would she blame me for what happened?
Memories of Renee sitting beside me in the wreck flashed through my mind.
I was trying to get Renee's attention by shaking her slightly to make sure she was alright. "Mom, Mom?" She wasn't moving. Why wasn't she moving?! "Mom!" I said a little louder.
There was just so much glass scattered on her lap. Her body was slumped to the side, and there were streams of blood dripping down her face. I was vaguely aware of the red and blue flashing lights and sirens that surrounded us. All I could see was Renee sitting there with blood dripping down her chin.
I felt the blood drain from my face as my mind raced to the worst possible scenario. I began to shake her more violently, trying to get her to show me some type of response that she was alright, but she still wasn't moving.
I felt someone wrap their hands around my arm, trying to pull me out of the car, but I refused to move, not until Renee showed me some type of sign that she was alright.
"Mom!" I shouted more desperately, my voice shaking with sobs. "Mom, please answer me…"
"Bella?" Edward frowned.
I closed my eyes tightly, willing the tears that threatened to spill over to go away. The last thing I wanted to do was cry right now. I swallowed the lump that had formed in my throat and took a deep breath. I hadn't thought about the accident in a while, and I certainly didn't want to now. Maybe this was a bad idea. If I was this upset at even thinking about asking him, how would I react when he answered me?
"Sorry, I zoned out for a minute," I explained, trying to make it seem like it was no big deal.
"What did you want to ask me?" He took a few steps closer toward me.
"Nothing, forget it. It was stupid." I shook my head. I didn't want to know, I decided. At least not now. I didn't think I could handle whatever he told me, whether it was yes or no. This is always what happen when it came to talking about Renee; memories always crept up me and I would almost always break down. I needed to stop thinking about it.
"Don't say that. Whatever you have to say, it isn't stupid," he said in a serious tone.
I was caught off guard by his tone. "Really, it was nothing," I tried to tell him, but he still didn't seem satisfied because he was scowling at me now. "Really, it's nothing!" I waved my hand at him, wishing he would just drop it. Now I was regretting even thinking about bringing it up. I should have kept it to myself or at least for a while. I wasn't ready to know, not now anyway.
I quickly racked my brain for something to say. I needed to distract myself with something else, before a Igive myself a panic attack. "Did you know Mike got suspended?" I blurted, feeling like a once again. Great, Bella, really creative. It was the first thing that came to mind.
"Mike got suspended?" Edward repeated slowly, confused. "Is that what you were wondering?"
"Yeah…" I lied. "See, I told you it was stupid." I tried to keep eye contact with him, it would seem like I was telling him the truth.
It didn't work completely, because he was still scowling at me, but he didn't press me any further.
"He did, huh?" he played along. "Well, I guess he got what he deserved." He sighed, sitting down on the couch.
I entered the living room and looked down at him. I was relieved that we had moved on to another subject, but now I was confused. "What do you mean?" I didn't remember Mike doing anything wrong. It was Jessica and Lauren who made my life a living hell at school.
"Like I said, all those people you sat with at lunch are assholes. I don't even know why you wasted your time trying to impress them," he scoffed.
"I sat with Angela too," I pointed out.
"She's fine, but the rest of them are idiots, especially that Mike guy." Edward said his name with a sour expression.
I bit back a smile when he made a face. "What's wrong with Mike?"
"He's a jackass," he said flatly.
"He's not so bad." I shrugged.
Edward rolled his eyes. "If you heard the things he was saying behind your back, I don't think you would say that."
"What does he say?" I asked curious. I always thought Mike was a pretty nice guy, even though he came on a little too strong, I didn't think he was that bad. Sure, he smiled way too much and was always in my personal space, but he was nice in his own way. Had I been wrong?
"Basically that he was going to be the first to sleep with you."
"Oh," I replied lamely. I guess it wasn't that surprising, after what Angela said about him on my first day of school. Still it hurt, to know that's all he cared about.
"I wouldn't take it to heart what he thinks. You shouldn't waste your time trying to impress them."
"I'm not trying to impress them."
"Oh, really?" he said in disbelief. "Then what was your first day of school telling all those lies? Talking about all your friends back in Chicago or telling them that lie about why you moved here in the first place?"
I stiffened. He knew about Renee. Of course he did. He had been sneaking around Charlie, apparently. Despite Charlie not wanting to talk about it, the subject must have come up. Renee and he did live here when they were younger. "How do you know?" How did he know about my first day of school?
"I was there, watching you." His eyes shifted away from mine, and I wondered if perhaps he was embarrassed to admit it. I doubted it; he seemed far too confident.
"You were?" I thought back to my first day of school, I didn't remember seeing him.
"You may be the only one who is able to see me, but you're not very observant."
"Why were you watching me?"
"I was curious to see who the new owners were. I didn't think my dad would ever sell this place. I was actually surprised that it was sold." He shrugged.
I frowned. "But I thought he was eager to get rid of it? That's what I heard, anyway."
"I wouldn't call turning down at least twenty offers eager." He laughed humorlessly. "My family loved this place. I didn't think they would ever get rid of it."
Billy was wrong? If Edward's dad had so many offers, why did he turn them down? I'm sure they probably would have offered more money for it than Charlie did. What made him sell it to us?
"Do you know why he sold it?"
"Yes," he replied, looking at the floor.
I waited for him to tell me more, but he just sat there, not saying anything. I was getting frustrated. I wasn't sure if I should press him for answers when he seemed so unwilling to give them, but I had to know. "Can you tell me why?"
"I could."
"Are you going to tell me?" I pressed further. There was a slight annoyance in my voice. I didn't try to hide it. I was getting annoyed; why didn't he just spit it out?
"It's not important." he said standing.
"If it's not important, why can't you tell me?" What was the big secret?
"Maybe later." He looked out the window "Your dad is home."
I followed his gaze and saw through the living room window that Charlie's police cruiser was sitting in the driveway. Just as I looked, I heard the front door slam shut.
"Hey, Bells," Charlie greeted as he shrugged off his coat. "Is someone here?" He glanced around the living room and looked right over Edward. If I had any doubts that anyone could see him other than me, they were gone now.
"Uh, no. Why?" My voice was slightly unsteady. I glanced at Edward, who was laughing at how nervous I had become. I was shifting on my feet and fumbling with the sleeve of my hoodie. Just because I knew that he couldn't be seen didn't calm my nerves.
"He can't see me," he said.
I know, but it's still weird, I wanted to say, but couldn't. Instead I gave him a glare, trying to show him it wasn't okay to talk to me in front of Charlie. I turned my back away from him, hoping if I couldn't see him that he wouldn't be able to distract me.
"I thought I heard you talking to someone." Charlie frowned.
"Yeah, I just got off the phone with Angela as soon as you walked in." Luckily the phone wasn't that far from me, so it did seem plausible.
"So you're making friends here?" He seemed hopeful.
I nodded. "Yeah."
His lips twitched into a smile. "You're liking it here then?"
I gave the best smile I could muster. "Yeah, I am."
"Why don't you tell him the truth?" Edward whispered beside me. I jumped slightly andwas worried for a second that Charlie would notice, but he was busy hanging up his coat in the closet.
"You know you don't have to lie to me-- if you don't like it here you can tell me," he said from the closet, but I could tell he didn't really mean it. He wanted me to tell him I liked it here, because it really meant a lot to him.
"Go on, tell him the truth," Edward urged.
I wanted to yell at him and tell him to mind his own business. What did he care anyways?
Instead I bit my lip and ignored him as best I could. "I know, but I really do like it here. It's not as bad as I thought it would be."
Charlie closed the closet door, and for the first time since Renee had died, he had a big, genuine smile. "I'm really glad."
"Yeah…" There was an awkward moment that always seemed to happen between us. We never really knew how to act around one another. It seemed like Charlie was debating on whether or not to give me a hug so I decided to speak up. "What would you like for dinner?" I asked, changing the subject.
Edward was next to me, shaking his head in disapproval.
"Anything is fine," Charlie replied.
I walked into the kitchen while Charlie headed into the living room, putting on the TV. "You don't have to cook, we can have pizza again," he called from the other room.
"No, Dad, I'll cook," I told him while looking through the fridge.
Edward leaned up against the counter, his arms crossed over his chest. Even though I was trying to look for something to eat, I couldn't stop staring at Edward out of the corner of my eye. "Would you stop staring at me?" I whispered harshly, feeling self-conscious.
"You should tell him the truth."
If I were to tell Charlie that I was unhappy here, I could only imagine the heart break that it would bring him. Naturally he would think it would be best to pack all our things and move back to our old home. "What do you care anyway?" I said, staring at the contents of the fridge, not daring to look at his face.
Edward reached over and shut the fridge door, forcing me to look at him.
"I don't," he said flatly.
"What then? Do you want us to leave? Because that's exactly what Charlie will do, if I tell him." I said, raising an eyebrow.
"Don't be ridiculous, I don't want you to leave," he replied harshly.
"You don't?" I asked, skeptical. Well, that was unexpected.
He looked toward the floor, staring at his feet. He seemed embarrassed as he confessed, "I've been alone for three years; it's nice to have someone to talk to finally. Makes me feel almost human again ..."
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I wasn't too happy about this chapter...I don't know