12
When everyone discovered Carey's dead body five minutes later, reactions were mixed:
"Oh my God! How horrible!"
"Well, now we know it wasn't Carey."
"Now who will rant and rave about the apple juice?"
"Good riddance!"
"Fish sticks!"
Judge Moseby, Cody, Maddie, and Patrick all turned to look at Zack strangely. "Fish sticks?" repeated Patrick.
"I was just thinking that fish sticks would make a nice snack around now," explained Zack.
Cody cleared his throat. "So," he said, "I think we all know just what it is we have to do now."
"What?" asked Maddie.
"I don't know, I was hoping you knew," said Cody.
"Enough of this nonsense," said Zack. "I have something to confess...I brought a gun with me this weekend."
"A gun," repeated Judge Moseby.
"Yes, a gun," said Zack. "Do I have to repeat myself?"
"Why in heaven's name would you want to bring a gun to a simple weekend gathering?" asked Judge Moseby.
"Two reasons," said Zack. "First, I was strongly advised to bring a gun in case things got a little hairy, in which case they are. And second
"Don't tell me you're actually going to come up with a humorous response to that?" groaned Cody. "You know how the teacher will react to seeing guns lampooned! She'll think we're maniacs!"
"So making fun of children being run over, victims of divorce driven insane, and murder victims is acceptable, but making fun of people who carry around guns is not?" asked Zack.
"Good, you finally get it!" cried Cody. "You've got to draw the line somewhere!"
"So...what do we say instead, then?" asked Zack. "Do we make fun of diabetics?"
"Of course not," said Cody, an idea slowly coming to mind. "Hannah Montana already did that."
Before Zack could finish that, however, Patrick said, "You know what, the reasons don't matter; just show us where this gun is already."
"Why, it's in my room," said Zack. "Just follow me."
TSLTSLTSL
When they got to Zack's room, Judge Moseby said, "I will probably regret asking this, but where, pray tell, do you keep your gun?"
"In my sock drawer," replied Zack. "Where I always keep the necessities of life."
Zack strutted up to his sock drawer and pulled it out. He rummaged through all the socks, comic books, candy, and macaroni...and there was no gun.
"I'm sure it's around here somewhere," muttered Zack, throwing everything out over his shoulders and straight into Judge Moseby's face.
"Check the underwear drawer, perhaps?" said Patrick dryly.
"Of course not," said Zack. "That's where I hide my...er, on second thought, you're better off not knowing."
He was beginning to look frantic. "I know I left it in here," he said nervously. "Well, maybe I just put it elsewhere and forgot. Let's search the entire room and the house, top-to-bottom."
TSLTSLTSL
Unfortunately, their efforts proved fruitless two hours later.
"I swear I left it in my sock drawer," muttered Zack. "Where the heck could it have gone to? It didn't just grow feet and walk off on its own!"
"Given the absurdity we face every day, I would not be surprised," said Judge Moseby.
"Oh yeah?" said Zack defensively. "And who are you to judge me, Judge Moseby? What about that Eaton guy? Was he guilty or innocent?"
"That Seton guy," said Judge Moseby tensely, "was guilty."
"So you say," said Zack coolly. "But how do we know that Keaton guy was innocent and you're not lying?"
"Are you going to give everyone the third degree, or are we going to figure out what to do now?" asked Cody.
"Well, I'm going upstairs for a shower," said Maddie, getting up.
"Maddie, dear, you really shouldn't be alone," said Zack, getting up at the same time.
"As long as the rest of you remain here, I shall be perfectly safe," said Maddie calmly.
She got up and gracefully walked out of the dining room and up the stairs. Even so, Zack followed her to the bottom of the stairs, and there he stayed...until he heard a shriek five minutes later coming from upstairs.
"Hold on now," said Cody. "Are we moving on to the judge's death? Cause it seems to me that we're going through these deaths at a really fast pace now."
"Well, like I said, I really don't want to drag this out any further than it already has been," said Zack. "And let's face it: If a conflict in our world can be solved within thirty minutes, it can just as easily be created within thirty minutes!"
Everyone made a mad dash up the stairs, down the hall, and into Maddie's room, where Maddie lay sprawled, seaweed covering her face.
Zack ran up to Maddie and said, "Maddie, are you all right, darling? Maddie speak to me!"
Maddie moaned and her eyelids slowly fluttered open. She smiled at the first sight she saw. "Oh, Zack," she sighed romantically. "I thought you'd never come."
"So," said Cody, clearing his throat, "what's up with all this seaweed?"
"This?" said Maddie, surprised. "Oh—well—I was coming in here and I felt something touch my face, and I screamed. Now I see what it was."
"Wait, where's Moseby?" asked Patrick.
The four looked startled. Quickly, they got to their feet and ran down the hall, down the stairs, and into the dining room, where Judge Moseby lay in the head chair, shot through the forehead, a red liquid trickling down his forehead...
"I think that seaweed was set up so we could all come running to Maddie and the killer could kill Moseby," said Cody thoughtfully.
"Gee, you think?!?" said Zack sarcastically.