Bella:

I came awake slowly, feeling blissfully happy. The morning was already quite advanced, and the air blowing though the windows was warming up. It looked like it was another lovely day. Not even when I remembered that Victoria was still out there did my contentment wane. I felt truly at peace for the first time in days.

Carried on the wind, I could hear the distant sounds of water splashing, and what sounded like the occasional thunderous cracking of boulders coming together. It was obviously two or all three of the boys horsing around in the hot springs. Somewhere, probably on one of the patios, the murmur of a voice carrying on a one sided conversation on the phone. They were the comforting sounds of a large family, and I had never imagined they could bring me such peace. Only Alice, Esme and Rosalie were missing.

I turned over, hugging a pillow to my chest and looking toward the open terrace doors. I contemplated my future as I watched the sheers billow and subside in an unseen breeze. First there would be a lengthy talk with Carlisle on the subject of my crossing, and whatever else he felt he needed to discuss with me, probably today. Next, a visit with Phil and Renee in Florida, and then…I shuddered in both fear and anticipation; fear because of the pain I was facing and anticipation because it was the culmination of all my dreams. I would be with Edward forever. I could truly be with him. He would no longer need to fear hurting me. And it wasn't just Edward…I would be with Alice forever too, and Esme, and Carlisle, all of them, all those vampires that I had grown to love as much as I loved my parents.

My mood dimmed slightly at the thought of Charlie and Renee. Would I be able to seem them again after I changed? And for how long? I knew that even if I did get to see them for a while, at some point I would not be able to see them anymore. How would that be handled? Would I have to stop emailing them and eventually disappear on them? I imagined how much they would worry when they lost contact completely. Hurting them like that would be very difficult. I sat up, too full of questions to be able to lie there peacefully anymore.

Maybe it was time Carlisle and I had that talk. Standing carefully, I tested my injured ankle. It felt a lot better. I was able to put most of my weight on it without feeling much pain. I limped over to the door, and slowly made my way down the stairs, reaching the bottom just as Carlisle was entering the library.

"Bella! You should not be putting any weight on that ankle," he remonstrated, "especially when it is so easy for one of us to carry you."

Before I could protest and tell him how much better it was feeling, he picked me up and carried me into the kitchen, where he settled me at the table. I was beginning to feel like a pampered lap dog, the way I was being carried around. That was yet another thing I wasn't going to miss when I became a vampire, this being treated like I was made of glass.

"I was hoping we could talk now," I said, accepting the glass of juice he handed me. "I have so many questions."

He sat down across from me. "Now is as good a time as any," he said, "but why don't you let me talk first, and then you can ask me any questions you might have."

I nodded, taking a sip of my juice.

"First, let me get you some breakfast," he continued, getting out the milk and a box of cereal. Bringing me a bowl and spoon, he waited for me to start eating before he spoke.

"We will go into the details of your conversion later," he started. "As unpleasant and life-altering as it is, it is out of your control and doesn't last long. It is what comes after that will be far more difficult for you. It is important that you understand that no amount of talking can prepare you for the changes you will have to adapt to when you are turned, Bella. There is only so much I can explain; you cannot begin to truly comprehend until you live it. Nevertheless, I will try and paint as complete a picture as I am able."

It was a long talk. Most of the things he told me Edward had already covered, only at the time he had been trying to talk me out of changing, and had painted the bleakest possible picture. Carlisle's version wasn't quite so hopeless, but it was still food for sobering thought. He delivered the information with such solemnity that I could not help but listen intently and take him seriously. He talked about the endless thirst for blood, the amplified emotions, especially the baser ones, the volatile moods and the difficulty in controlling them during that first year or more. I thought it sounded rather like he was describing early human childhood, minus the thirst for blood.

"You need to realize that you'll be starting over. You will be a child again, new to your body and this life." he said, as if he had read my mind. "Which brings me to a few things you must agree to, if I'm going to do this: I do not convert people lightly. I consider this a big responsibility. No matter what you think, a vampire is a dangerous creature, and I will not blithely unleash a new one on humanity. If I am to bring you into this life, you will be my responsibility. You'll have to put yourself in my hands and accept my guidance. You must agree to do what I tell you. Lives, human lives, could depend on it. You'll have to let me make certain decisions for you. You won't always understand or agree with them, and you will always be free to question them, but in the end I have the final word. You will abide by it.

"You will be subject to many of the restrictions imposed upon children. For the first year of your life, you will not be without at least two, if not three of the family with you when you are out, and you will certainly not be around humans. Under no circumstances will you ever go out alone. This is not just for the safety of humans, it is for ours too. Secrecy is paramount. If you endanger that secrecy, not even I will be able to save you." He stood suddenly, and came around to my side of the table. He pulled out a chair and sat, turning mine so I was facing him. "Do you understand the seriousness of what I'm saying?"

I nodded. I didn't sound too bad yet, but then again I knew he wasn't done. There was bound to be something in there that would get my dander up or upset me in some way.

I did not have to wait long.

"There will come a time when you and Edward might want to go out and live on your own for a time. This is fine of course, but it will not happen until I am satisfied that you are in control, or at the very least that Edward can handle you on his own. Until that time, you will live under my roof."

I bristled slightly. The restrictions were already piling up, and that crack about Edward handling me didn't sit well with me. Again, Carlisle seemed to read my mind. "When it comes to matters pertaining to being a vampire you will need to listen to all of us. Don't let your stubbornness get in your way. If you fail to listen and someone dies, it will be with you for your entire, long existence. Think very hard about what the knowledge that you have taken a life would be like to live with.

"You will give me your decision when you get back from visiting your mother…" he held up his hand as I opened my mouth to speak. "I know you have already decided, Bella, but I want you to take the time to seriously consider everything we have spoken about. Edward will not be going with you." Again I tried to argue, and again he stopped me. "I want you to spend time with your mother without distractions. It could be the last time you see her."

That sobered me right up. I had already thought about it, but hearing it from Carlisle made it somehow more final. He reached for my hands.

"That could be the most difficult aspect of this for you to face. Even if you do see your parents again, there will come a time when it is no longer possible. You will need to make a clean break, and never contact them again. Unless we fake your death, they will never know what became of you. Either way, they will be hurt."

"This too you'll have to let me decide for you. When I say it is time to cut ties, you will do it," he finished. "These are my conditions. If you can agree to them, and promise me to do your best not to deviate from them, I will change you."

We heard voices approaching, and the guys came in, signaling the end of our conversation. I had not had a chance to ask any questions, but perhaps it was a good idea for me to consider what he had told me first. If I had any questions, I could always ask them when I got back. At his request, I called Renee and arranged to visit her in a few days. Edward, on his phone, was already calling to buy us airline tickets. Then he caught Carlisle's thoughts on the subject.

"I am going with her!" he snarled suddenly, ending the call and turning on Carlisle.

"No, you are not, Edward," he said firmly. "This is Bella's time with her mother. If you insist on someone going with her, fine, one of us will go, and keep out of sight. But it will not be you."

It looked like Edward was going to unleash all Hell over this, so I pushed myself to my feet, knowing that standing up on my injured ankle would deflect his attention. Sure enough, he made a sound of reproof, and was at my side immediately, gently forcing me back down in the chair.

"Edward, please. It is ok," I spoke soothingly, not wanting anyone to upset any apple carts. I wanted to be changed, and I could make a few sacrifices to get there. "Let me have this week with my mother. I'll be yours for the rest of eternity, what is a week?"

"Bella…" he said pleadingly.

"Shhh," I whispered, reaching for his cheek. "Jasper and Emmett can come with me. They will keep me just as safe as you would." He couldn't exactly argue with that without insulting them. Eager to end the discussion and distract him again, I asked Edward to take me upstairs for a human moment. Taking me to the bathroom, he took the bandage off my foot and reluctantly left me to my own devices, staunchly ignoring my invitations for him to join me in the shower.

I finished quickly, and was already entering the bedroom wrapped in a tiny towel, when he came toward me, evidently having heard my approach. He stopped.

"Bella?" he rasped, looking nervous. "Where are your clothes?"

"My clothes?" I repeated, all wide-eyed innocence. "They are around here somewhere." I looked around absently, letting my towel slip a little, amazed at how easily I had gone from zero to flirty since Edward had made love to me. Looking back at him, pinning him with a hungry stare, I backed him into the wall, pressing my warm body, flushed pink from the hot water, against his cold abdomen. He jerked at the contact.

"Bella…I don't think this is a good idea," he said weakly, holding me at arms length. "My control…the others will hear…" he grasped for excuses.

"We'll be very quiet, nobody will hear," I whispered seductively, tangling my fingers in his hair at the back of his head and pulling him down for a kiss. He fought me half-heartedly, but obviously not nearly enough to prevent me from being able to press my lips against his, which he could have done easily. His token resistance didn't stop me. It was nice to see he was putty in my hands for a change. I raked the fingers of one hand down his chest and concave belly, to slip them into the waistband of his jeans. His abs twitched in response, and he moaned. Next thing I knew I was the one with my back against the wall, my hands immobilized by his.

"Not now, Bella," he ground out.

"When, then?" I coaxed, arching toward him as best I could with my wrists pinioned against the wall.

"Bella…" he warned, squeezing his eyes shut and taking a step back.

"When?" I insisted.

"After you are changed!"

"No. Before I'm changed. Once more, before I'm changed." I pouted, lifting my knee and running the side of my calf up the inside of his leg. He cried out, trapping my leg between his.

Please!" he begged. "Don't!"

"Once more, before I'm changed. Agreed?" I insisted, twisting in his grasp. "Agreed?" I repeated, when he didn't respond fast enough.

He capitulated. "Agreed," he groaned, releasing me and appearing suddenly across the room from me, his back pressed against the wall, fists balled at his sides. He observed me angrily for a moment, and then the look in his eyes became darkly seductive. "I will make you pay for that, Bella," he threatened in tones of silken menace.

I clutched the towel against me, shivering in anticipation.

The next day brought news that Esme, Rosalie and Alice were on their way to join us. They had tracked Victoria all over Washington, but could not figure out what she was planning or where she was going. Finally, they gave up, and decided to start heading toward us. They would be with us by nightfall. We were all impatient for them to arrive, mostly so we could find out what went wrong with Alice's vision. I could tell by the pained looks Edward was throwing Emmett's way that Emmett was more concerned with the x-rated things he was going to do to Rosalie, once he had his hands on her again. As soon as Edward was able to pick up on their thoughts, he informed us of their impending arrival.

Then, all hell broke loose.

Edward froze suddenly, his face going blank with shock. His features darkened in absolute fury.

"Edward?" Jasper spoke sharply, obviously sensing the depth of his rage. "Carlisle, hold on to him! He's going to lose it!"

I had never seen him so angry, and I was downright terrified. I unconsciously took a step back, half turning toward Emmett, blindly searching for his arm with my hand. I latched on to it, and Emmett immediately pulled me protectively against him. Carlisle and Jasper each grabbed a hold of Edward's arms, restraining him with a hand on his shoulders. Edward strained in their grip, quaking with the effort, but was unable to free himself.

"She lied!" he roared. "I am going to tear her to pieces! Carlisle, she lied to me! Let me GO!"

By now Jasper was snarling in reaction, leading me to conclude that it was Alice whom Edward was threatening with dismemberment. I was confused. What had Alice lied about?

"Enough!"

Carlisle's tone brought everything to a standstill. Even Edward stilled, obviously having realized that roaring and thrashing around in the grip of two vampires older and stronger than he was wasn't going to get him anywhere.

"Everyone sit down. Now!" Carlisle said severely. "We will wait for them to arrive, and discuss this like civilized people. Is that clear? Edward?" Edward nodded reluctantly, and was let go, though both Jasper and Carlisle stayed close. I immediately went to him, and he wrapped his arm around me, drawing me onto his lap. He was shaking with suppressed anger.

"What is going on, Edward?" I murmured, worried.

"Alice lied about the vision. You were never dead, she just made it look that way," he hissed.

I looked at Jasper. He looked stunned. Clearly he was not in on whatever Alice was up to.

"But…why?" I said, bewildered, not understanding why she would do something like that.

"I don't know. She's blocking me. But I will find out. If I have to beat it out of her, I will find out."

Jasper snarled again, and Carlisle put a restraining hand on his shoulder. "Be quiet. They are here."

You could have heard a pin drop. A car pulled up outside, and soon the door opened, admitting Esme and Rosalie. Rosalie looked slightly disdainful, that is until she set eyes on Emmett. Esme looked deeply worried, and very tired.

"Where is Alice?" Edward ground out.

"Got out of the car a while back," Esme replied. "She wants you to go and find her. Alone," she added, as Jasper made a move to go after her.

Edward was through the door and gone before I could blink, leaving me feeling lost and confused. I didn't have to feel that way long before Esme had her arms wrapped around me, enfolding me in a sweet hug. "Bella, dear, I am so sorry about what Edward put you through. I have been feeling wretched since I found out. I don't know what that boy was thinking…" I suppressed a giggle at Edward, who was technically older than Esme was, being called a 'boy' by her.

Letting me go, she turned to greet Carlisle lovingly, then Jasper, who was looking decidedly distracted. "Don't worry, Jasper," she said, patting his cheek. "Alice knows what she is doing. Now Bella," she continued. "Have you been eating properly? You haven't had dinner yet, have you? Let me make you something. Emmett…Oh, where did those two get to?"

Emmett and Rosalie had, naturally, disappeared.

To be continued…