Edward:

She lay sprawled on her back on the rumpled sheets, arms flung up beside her head, her knees pulled up and to the side. Under a heaving chest, her racing heartbeat was gradually slowing down. A faint sheen of sweat made her deliciously flushed skin glow in the golden afternoon light. I clenched my teeth as the breeze shifted, sending another wall of scented heat at me from her body. With my enhanced vision, I noted the faint tremor in her hips and thighs, the only outward evidence her internal shudders, at least to vampiric vision. She would bear new marks, I thought, swallowing my guilt as I carefully assessed her skin from where I was sitting, a safe distance away from her, at the foot of the bed. She was a battered beauty, her body a map of bruises and scrapes in various stages of healing, and she wore them so casually, as if they were something to be accepted simply because they came with the territory of loving a vampire.

"You bastard," she gasped finally. "That wasn't fair."

She had started throwing out the occasional swear word the moment I began unleashing a whole new world of sensations on her. It was strangely arousing to hear my sweet innocent using words like those she had just been uttering in the throes of passion. I had never heard her use language like that.

"Language, Isabella," I murmured in mock reproof as I eyed her hungrily. "I think we have had quite enough of your mouth for one day. And as for being fair, I never claimed I would be. You can't say you weren't warned. I told you I would make you pay for teasing me."

And make her pay I did. I showed her I could fight dirty too. I teased her ruthlessly, holding her hips in place with absolutely no effort, enjoying her at my own leisure even though it was not easy for me. I thought control would be less of a problem if I didn't actually make love to her, but it was only marginally easier. I had put myself in the path of other dangerous distractions: the whisper of her blood as it pulsed through her femoral arteries deep inside her legs, and the freesia scented furnace-blast of heat that enveloped my head, framed as it was by the cradle of her thighs. The scent of her seared my sinuses and clawed at my throat, sending my thirst for her soaring to new heights. I intensified my assault on her, relishing her unladylike language and heated protests, while remaining deaf to them. Her futile struggles only fired up my predatory instincts, and I had gripped her tighter.

I forced my bunched muscles to relax, and squeezed my eyes shut, shaking my head to dispel the memory of Bella writhing beneath my mouth and hands. I looked at her quickly, to see if she had noticed my difficulties, but she was still lost in her own little world, eyes closed, smiling a secretive Mona Lisa smile, fingers twisting in the damp, tangled locks of her fragrant hair spilled across the pillows.

I could not understand why my control was growing more tenuous by the day. It had gotten easier for a while, once I had taken her away from Forks and the growing dangers there. Now, inexplicably, it was getting harder again.

Maybe my steadfast refusal to see her changed had been an asset in my battle for control, and now that that barrier was no longer there, I had less of a reason to resist her. I was not a patient man under the best of circumstances, and knowing she would soon become unbreakable in every sense of the word eroded my patience even further. Showing restraint had never been easy for me, and I had never needed to exercise more of it until I met Bella. More frightening, though, was the thought that maybe my control was so tenuous because I knew I was running out of time in which I could take her blood. As long as Bella was human, I could pretend that someday, I could taste her again, even if I knew I never would. Soon though, she would become a vampire, and I would never have the opportunity again. Her blood, and the ecstasy it could bring me, would be lost to me forever.

"Edward?"

My eyes focused on her. She was sitting up, holding the sheet to her chest with one arm, an inquiring look on her pink face.

"Is something wrong?"

Distracted by the way her mahogany hair fell in a riotous mess of snarls around her pale shoulders, I didn't register her question immediately. Tearing my eyes from the almost blood red tint the setting sun imparted to her soft locks, I briefly considered my usual modus operandi, avoidance through evasiveness. I did not want to tell her that it was getting harder and harder to resist the temptation to crush her to my chest and tear into her throat. But neither did I want to keep secrets from her anymore. With a sigh of resignation, I opted for honesty. It was a difficult thing to do for many reasons, not the least of which was because I was ashamed of my ever increasing lack of willpower when it came to her. Also, my instinct was still to shield her from unpleasantness, especially any unpleasantness related to being a vampire. It was a habit I had to break. I needed to learn to share my burdens with her, and now was as good a time as any to start.

"I was wondering why I'm suddenly having trouble with my control again."

She tucked the sheet more securely around herself and moved closer to me. "You're editing," she said, using my own words against me.

Distracted by her proximity, I sounded angrier than I had intended. "Of course I am!" I snapped. "You don't need to hear the gory details."

"You really, really want to rip my throat out and suck me dry," she said brutally. "Is that the gory detail I don't want to hear? Newsflash, Edward: I know. You're a vampire, it's what you do. There's no need to be coy about it."

"Don't say things like that," I snarled, lunging to my feet and striding to the other end of the room. My tenuous control was frightening me, and it was making me increasingly short-tempered. I need to keep some physical distance between us. Unfortunately, Bella wasn't cooperating. And this is a surprise?

"Since when have you been having trouble?" she asked, crawling off the bed and walking toward me.

With her messy mane of bed hair and that white sheet knotted over her breasts and trailing behind her like a train, she looked like an avant-garde bride, flashing a sliver of creamy leg with every step she took toward her future husband. All that was missing was the bouquet. Something unconventional; Alice would know exactly what to pick...

I was snapped out of my daydream courtesy of Bella, who had stopped in front of me and was waving her hand in front of my face. Blinking, I looked down at her inquisitive face, glad I couldn't blush, and even gladder she couldn't read my mind.

"I've been having trouble since the day of your accident," I said quickly, successfully distracting her from asking me what I had been thinking about.

She thought for a moment. "Which also happens to coincide with your accepting that my changing was inevitable," she said perceptively. "It could be that anticipation is making it harder; or…" she stopped, looking pensively out of the window and chewing on her lower lip.

"Or?" I prompted her softly, knowing what she was about to say.

There was a fire in her eyes as she looked straight into mine. "Once I'm changed, you'll never taste my blood again."

Even expecting it, I was startled. She sounded older than her years all of a sudden, completely unmoved by the idea of my taking her blood.

"There is probably some truth to both of those theories," I admitted carefully, my eyes dropping to her collar bone, and the curl of dark hair that lay coiled there.

"Was it very difficult for you?" she asked seriously, and I knew I knew she was referring to our recent activities.

I reached for the errant curl and twisted it around my finger. "I wouldn't say very difficult. It wasn't easy."

I was startled when she suddenly pulled away. "I'm sorry," she whispered, ducking her head and hiding behind a curtain of tousled hair.

"Sorry? What…Bella?" I moved swiftly closer to her, turning her to face me and sweeping her hair aside, tilting her face up so I could see her. To my utter horror, her eyes welled up with tears. "Bella, what is the matter? Why are you crying? What are you sorry for?" I looked at her searchingly. I may not be able to read her mind, but her face was an open book to me.

"I'm sorry for pushing you into doing something you were not comfortable with," she sobbed, pulling her face away from my hand and averting it again. "I was selfish, just thinking of my own pleasure. You told me you were having trouble with your control, and I pushed you into it anyway like some common...Edward, I didn't even spare you a thought! I just went after what I wanted!"

"Bella, hush," I soothed her, smoothing her hair away from her face. "Stop it. First of all, there is nothing common about you, so don't say anything like that ever again. Secondly, you can't make me do something I don't want to do."

"Of course I can, Edward," she sniffed, smiling tremulously.

I couldn't help laughing. She was right of course. I found it much harder to hold the line with her than I used to.

She grew serious again. "If I hadn't pushed you, would you have done it?"

Again I was tempted to evade her question or dissemble. I hadn't realized, until I made a conscious decision to change, how much I kept hidden from Bella, because I was treating her like a child, or protecting her. In many was she was still a child, especially by vampire standards, and on rare occasions she even behaved like one, but that was no longer my purview. It never had been, and it took a rash act on my part, and a very uncomfortable half-hour or so with Carlisle, to make me see it.

"No," I replied honestly. "I wouldn't have."

I expected fresh tears from her over my answer, but she surprised me again. She looked at me keenly, wiping the tears from under her eyes with her fingertips.

"Thank you," she said quietly.

I looked at her in surprise. "Thank you for what?"

"For telling me the truth, and not trying to spare me."

"Oh. Well, that isn't easy either, but I promised you I would try. And Bella, I wouldn't have touched you if I thought for a moment that I couldn't handle it. I won't lie, it wasn't easy, but the pleasure I gave you, not to mention the pleasure I got from teasing you," I added with a cocky grin, "made any difficulties I had more than worthwhile. You do believe me, don't you?"

"Yes, Edward, I believe you." She leaned in, brushing her velvety lips against mine before kissing me slowly and deeply. I moaned in protest when she pulled away, looking at me questioningly.

"Edward, you didn't see into my mind when…uh…" She came to a sudden stop, blushing deeply.

I brushed the my fingers lightly across the fire in her cheeks, hearing the regret in my voice. "No, I didn't. Not this time."

She caught my hand and turned it, holding the back to her flaming cheek. "I didn't think so," she sighed, sounding disappointed. "I don't understand…" She trailed off, frowning endearingly. Releasing me, she dropped the sheet onto the bed, and picked up one of my shirts, slipping into it and buttoning it up. "I guess I should start packing. I am surprised Alice isn't here by now, directing the operations."

"Actually, she is already champing at the bit. She's waiting for a sign from me that she can come up."

"Well, give her the sign. What are you waiting for?"

"I am not done with you yet," I said, heading for my stuff and rummaging in one of my bags. "I got you a cell phone," I said, turning to her. "I have programmed everyone's numbers in it, and you can call us from anywhere. I put your music on there too, and some of mine as well. And of course you have access to the internet."

I turned to the door suddenly. "Alice is on her way to help you pack."

Right on queue, the pixie in question bounced through the doorway. "Let's get this show on the road! Did Edward tell you? I'm going with you!" she squealed excitedly.

Bella opened her mouth to speak, but Alice just plowed right on. "I'll stay away most of the time, but maybe we could run into each other once by accident or something. Now, let's take a look at your new wardrobe and figure out what you're taking with you!"

She had already started rummaging through Bella's things before she noticed that I hadn't left yet. Pausing, she turned to me, her eyebrows raised. "You may go, Edward," she said with a dismissive wave of her fingers. "Your presence is no longer required."

Chuckling at Bella's resigned look, I left the room.

Bella had been gone for six days, and I had become, by general consensus, completely unbearable. I couldn't help but agree with my family's assessment, and had taken to disappearing into the wilderness for long stretches of time to give them a break from me.

I was pining for Bella. I was moody, nervous, and on edge, convinced that just as my life was finally coming together after countless decades, something would come and snatch my reason for living away from me. It made almost no difference that Alice was with her. She might be able to keep a watch for dangers of the vampiric variety, but there was nothing she could do to protect Bella from herself and her usually endearing clumsiness. How quickly that clumsiness became an irritation to me when I wasn't around to protect her from it. Alice couldn't he around her every second of the day, and even if she had a vision of Bella tripping and falling in front of a speeding car, she might not be able to get to her in time. Fortunately, Bella would be back by my side in about twenty-four hours, and then I would never be separated from her again. At least not if I had anything to say about it.

My resourceful sister had found a way to go out in the sun in public without becoming the leading story on the evening news. She had been experimenting with heavy-duty concealers, and had found one that actually did the trick. It had to be applied quite thickly, and felt relatively uncomfortable on the skin, but it managed to conceal most of the glittering. It looked like she was wearing a shimmery body powder. It was very flattering on her, as a woman, but unfortunately didn't work for me. It made me look just a little prettier than I was comfortable with. As a result, I was forced to say goodbye to Bella in the shadows of the parking garage at the Albuquerque Sunport, but only after Alice assured me that she saw them arriving safely in Jacksonville.

I caught the scent of a buck, and instinctively dropped to a crouch before realizing I wasn't particularly thirsty. I had fed several times already. Rising out of my crouch, I jogged higher up into the mountains, until I came to a place where I had an unobstructed view of the horizon. I wanted to go home, but had been told in no uncertain terms that I was not to show my face before nightfall, to give Jasper a break from what he called my 'insufferable angst'. Carlisle had also suggested it might be a good time to work on my apology for kidnapping Bella.

I sat down on a rock and stared, unseeing at the horizon. Thinking about my apology had been a fruitless endeavor. Try as I might, I could not bring myself to regret what I did, and I would not be able to give the family the kind of apology Carlisle wanted me to give them. I didn't think time would make any difference, and I resolved to tell him when I got home. I stayed on my perch until the last of the sunset faded and the first stars studded the indigo sky, and then jumped down and loped homeward.

I came in through the back of the house, through the den where Rosalie was curled up on the couch with her laptop.

"Where's Emmett?"

She didn't bother to look up or answer me out loud. He left with Jasper a couple of hours ago. They went running. I think he is getting bored.

I grunted in reply, and headed to the front room, pausing in the shadows of the doorway.

My father was sitting in one of the armchairs, reading to Esme, who was curled up on his lap, her head tucked under his chin. The only illumination in the room came from the fireplace, and the warm shifting light made them look very much alive. As I watched my adoptive parents sharing a quiet moment, Carlisle whispered something against Esme's hair, and she turned her head to bury her face into his chest with a shy smile. Carlisle chucked softly, dropped a kiss on the crown of her head, and looked across the room at me.

"Come in, Edward," he said.

Esme shifted and turned, leaning forward in her husband's lap. Her face lit up when she saw me, and I marveled again at the depth of her love for us all.

"Edward! How are you feeling?"

I walked toward them, bending down to place a kiss on her forehead before dropping into the other chair. I shrugged in reply.

"Is something on your mind, Edward?" Carlisle asked me, observing me shrewdly.

I leaned forward, resting my elbows on my knees. "Carlisle, Esme, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to apologize for kidnapping Bella and really mean it," I started. "Not the way you want me to, at least."

Esme settled back against Carlisle's chest, and they both gave me their full attention, inviting me to continue with their thoughts.

I considered my words carefully. "For a start, I don't really see it as kidnapping. I know it is by definition," I continued quickly as Carlisle raised an eyebrow, "but I'm not some stranger keeping her locked in a closet. I love her, and she always knew she was safe with me. I wasn't threatening her life or holding her for ransom. I was not treating her the way she deserves to be treated, but I wasn't hurting her. I was doing what I thought was right, misguided though my actions were. Added to that, I cannot regret a course of action that brought Bella and I closer together in the end, and made me change my mind about her becoming a vampire. I have no doubt that it was the events of the past week or so that brought me to where I am now."

Carlisle smiled. "I am proud of you, Edward…you have come such a long way. I accept your reasoning. Do you agree, Esme?"

"I do," she said, her voice soft with emotion. "I am proud of you too, Edward. I love you so very much, and I am so happy for you."

"You can consider the matter closed," Carlisle finished.

I was opening my mouth to thank them for being so understanding, when Jasper and Emmett's thoughts intruded violently into my mind, mentally shouting the name of the one person who could still destroy my life.

Victoria!

They had come across her scent just across the border into Colorado. Far too close for comfort. To make matters worse, she wasn't alone. She had six other vampires with her, thought nothing was known about them. There had been nothing in the news about a rash of violent killing such as there had been in Seattle, and there were no more reported disappearances than usual. Victoria could be with mature vampires, or she could simply be picking her newborns and their food from among the disenfranchised, those whose disappearance would go unnoticed.

"How could Alice have missed this?" I ranted angrily, pacing and clutching at my head. No sooner were the words out of my mouth when Carlisle's phone rang.

It was Alice.

"I only just saw!" she cried. "I am so sorry!"

"Alice, it's alright," Carlisle said firmly, cutting her off, and shooting me a warning glance, knowing I had been about to berate my sister for having missed seeing something so monumental. "We know your power isn't infallible, you have nothing to apologize for. Now tell us what you know."

"The vampires with her are mostly newborns. There is a male with her, not a newborn, but I think quite young. He's her mate. They will come across your scent sometime tomorrow morning, and follow it to you."

"Bella gets back tomorrow afternoon!" I yelled.

"Should Edward take her somewhere safe straight from the airport while we take care of the trash?" Emmett asked, grinning over the top of Rosalie's head.

"No."

We all turned to look at Carlisle.

"No," he repeated. "We stick together. This ends here. Bella's isn't the only human life we need to consider. If we don't stop them here, more people will die. Victoria has proven to be beyond crafty. I want everyone there to fight them."

"What about Bella?" I rasped hoarsely.

"It is Bella's decision, but I think we should turn her as soon as she and Alice get home. It's the only way to ensure her safety. Alice, do you have any insights?"

There was silence from the other end of the phone. Carlisle frowned. "Alice?"

Fear battered its way through me. Alice was having a vision, I was sure of it, and I was terrified of what it might be.

She finally spoke, but she sounded distant. "Yes…she should be changed immediately. I see her…" her voice petered out.

"Alice?" I said sharply.

"I don't understand," she muttered, going silent again.

"Alice, please!" I cried.

"I see her changing, but she keeps disappearing on me, like there is a stutter in the vision, or a short, an electrical short."

I growled in frustration, wishing she were closer, so I could see for myself what she meant.

"Her future keeps intermittently disappearing on me," she continued.

"But you do see her changing safely," I pressed her.

"I only see her going through the…" she faltered, and I squeezed my eyes shut, knowing without needing to read her mind that she was referring to the pain of the change. She was seeing Bella writhing in agony. I inhaled through clenched teeth, and felt a gentle hand on my arm. I opened my eyes to see Esme standing next to me. She smiled at me with compassion, reaching up to smooth my hair comfortingly, but said nothing. We both knew there was nothing to say. We had both been through what Bella was facing.

I turned resolutely toward Carlisle. "So what's the plan?"

"For now, we wait. There is no sense in precipitating a confrontation. We let them come to us. By then Bella's transformation will be underway. We will defend the mountain while she goes through the change. I'm leaving those details up to you, Jasper."

My eldest brother nodded, his face expressionless. He had not moved or spoken throughout our meeting, leaning against the wall, his arms crossed over his chest. He had been way ahead of Carlisle already, drawing on his military background and going over strategy in his head.

Alice voice broke in. "I have to get back to the others. Bella, Renee and Phil were having their farewell dinner, and I had just joined them for coffee when I had the vision. I excused myself to call you. Bella doesn't know yet, and I would rather not tell her until we are on the plane. I don't want to ruin her last hours with her mother, and Bella wouldn't be able to keep her emotions hidden from Renee."

I opened my mouth to agree, but stopped and looked at Carlisle, deferring to him. He nodded his approval.

"I agree, Alice," I said. "Wait until you are on the plane. She deserves to know, and to have some time to get used to the idea."

"I will, Edward. We'll call you as soon as I have told her. See you tomorrow." She disconnected.

I wanted to scream in frustration. The next several days would be the most difficult I'd ever have to endure, I was sure of it. First the endless waiting to have Bella by my side again, and then the endless waiting for her pain and suffering to end, torn between needing to stay beside her, and needing to hunt Victoria down and tear her to shreds.

"I need to run," I growled, lunging toward the door.

Jasper's voice stayed me. "Go south, Edward," he said. "We don't want to draw their attention any sooner than we have to."

I nodded, and disappeared through the door and into the darkness.

To be continued…

I apologize profusely for the delay in posting. Life very much got in the way, I became engrossed in a couple of incredibly good fics, suffered a crisis of confidence as a result, got writer's block, and finally managed to push my way past it by forcing myself to write.

As I started writing this chapter, I was shocked to realize that this story is coming to a close. Two or three more chapters, and it is over. I want to write about Bella's early years as a vampire, so I will definitely continue this story, but it will be in the form of a sequel, posted under a different title, probably Bringing up Baby.

Now to the two stories that have kept me from working on my own:

Irritable Grizzly Adams, by Caligula42. Summary: AU. Edward left Bella in the woods five years ago. Struggling to make a life without him, Bella finds herself still alone in an entirely different forest. But what happens if they are accidentally reunited? Rated M for language and sexual situations. It is wonderful, and is my current all time favorite.

Black and White, by Vixen1836. Summary: Edward Masen left his military career jaded and suffering from PTSD. Bella Swan is visiting Forks for the summer from the University of Washington. Both experience intrigue and infatuation before quietly falling in love. RATED M LANGUAGE/LEMONS. AU/AH. This one is LONG (a plus, of course). The chapters are as long as 18K in some cases.