Note: O ye of little faith. I can't believe so many people were worried I might kill off Guiltward. As if.

My apologies for the delay in getting this out. I grovel in mortification. I blame it on all the good writers out there. I have been reading fic. Also, I broke my rule of not starting on the next story before finishing this one. Which means you'll get a big, juicy preview at the end of this story. Which, by the way, isn't over yet. Apparently, I lied. There will be another chapter after this, maybe two. I was going to make this an extra long chapter, but since I was taking too damn long to get it done, I figured I'd post what I had now. I have more loose ends to tie up than I thought.

I think am posting this too soon. It feels a bit rushed, but it has been three weeks, and I am am impatient. I hope I don't regret it in the morning.

Edward:

Bella just kept on trying to get up. It figured that she would be the only one of Carlisle's converts who simply refused to stay confined to the bed. I cursed inwardly. She never had been one to do things by the norm, why should she start now?

"Should we tie her down?" Japer asked tersely, keeping a light grip on Bella's ankles. Carlisle and I had a hold of her wrists, and we were also carefully pressing her into the bed by the shoulders. She was grunting and gasping, twisting so violently she was in danger of dislocating something.

"It might be best," Carlisle replied. "We could be here for a while, otherwise. Edward, could you find us some rope, or something to bind her with?"

Bella's cries grew louder, and she let out an ear-splitting scream, the first of many. I flinched, staring down at her in anguish, suddenly feeling very small, and not at all sure I could go through with this.

"Edward?"

Bella's screams intensified. I flinched again, looking up at Carlisle, my face stricken. "I can't do this, Carlisle," I moaned. "I can't take it. I can't stand seeing her in so much pain."

"Then leave," he said heartlessly. "It's up to you."

I just stared at him. I am not sure what he saw in my expression, but his face softened.

Edward, you are going to have to find the strength within yourself to deal with it. Carlisle's mental voice was firm. She needs you now, and your brother will have enough on his plate dealing with her, without having to take care of you as well. Now pull yourself together, and go and find something we can use to tie her down with.

He shifted his hands to her upper arms, taking over from me and holding her securely in place. I stood, but made no move to leave, unable to tear my eyes away from the agonized grimace that distorted Bella's features.

"Edward!"

I jerked my head away from Bella's anguished face to Carlisle's stern one.

"Rope. Go!" he snapped, with a jerk of his head.

I was pretty sure I had no rope, so I tore a bed sheet into strips and braided them into something just as efficient. Carlisle and I secured her limbs, while Jasper stood back against the wall, hands balled into fists at his sides and tension in every inch of his body as he tried to cope with the intensity of the emotions battering at him.

Ten hours into Bella's transformation, Jasper finally broke, and had to leave. If dealing with her emotions and mine combined weren't bad enough, he also had to put up with Bella's emotions shorting out intermittently, and for varying lengths of time. The anticipation, the stress of not knowing when he would suddenly be hit by them again, made it impossible for him relax enough to generate any feelings of calm. He'd been hunched over, clutching at his head, when Carlisle finally sent him away to join the others in the hunt.

As for me, I was a wreck. A helpless, useless wreck. I was so accustomed to having control over almost every aspect of Bella's life that I didn't know how to handle it now that I had none. There was nothing I could do but wait and watch while the love of my existence screamed and writhed in pain. It was humbling, frustrating, and it nearly drove me mad.

The hours dragged on. Jasper came and went a couple of times, bringing us news on the hunt for Victoria and the newborns, but I was too focused on Bella to pay attention to what he was saying. I lay on the bed with her, on my side, my cold body pressed against hers, one leg draped over her, nestling between her knees, hoping it would bring her some relief from the fire that consumed her. Her temperature was skyrocketing as the venom burned through her body. Carlisle sat in the armchair, reading for the most part, but occasionally checking on us, taking Bella's vitals, and making notes.

Just shy of twenty-four hours into her transformation, the most excruciating pain ripped through my body. With a strangled cry, I jerked and rolled away from Bella. I must have fallen off the bed, because when the pain subsided, I was staring up into Carlisle's anxious face.

"What happened?" He asked, helping me sit up.

I scrubbed my fingers through my hair. "I'm not sure," I said weakly. "I think I may have been connected to Bell..." My words were cut off as pain clawed through every cell of my body again. This time, it lasted longer, and this time, I screamed. And screamed. And screamed.

I was getting inside her again. Of all the times for…whatever it is that this was…to happen, it had to be now, while she was in agonizing pain. I would have welcomed the pain if I knew I was suffering it for her, but that wasn't the case. I was simply feeling it, along with her fear, confusion and extreme stress.

After what seem like an age, it all stopped as suddenly as it had started. Bella continued to writhe and scream periodically, and I lay on the floor beside the bed shuddering in the aftermath and groaning soundlessly. It took me a while to realize that Carlisle was speaking to me.

"What?" I gasped hoarsely.

"You need to get out of here, Edward. Go with Jasper, and get out of range. I will stay here with Bella. I'll take care of her."

"No. I'm fine. I need to stay with Bella."

"Edward, this isn't a suggestion. Go."

"I said no, Carlisle. I told Bella I would stay with her all the way through. I am not leaving her. I can handle it."

"Well, I can't," he said, his voice cracking slightly.

I looked at him, surprised at the emotion in his voice.

"It's bad enough having to watch Bella go through this kind of agony. I can't handle seeing you go through it as well, especially not when you don't have to. Please, Edward. Trust me to take care of her, and go."

Please…go of your own free will…don't make me have Jasper get Emmett and remove you forcibly…

I could tell he wasn't aware that I had caught those particular thoughts. I am not even sure he was aware he was having them. I did know he was deadly serious. If I didn't leave willingly, he would send Jasper to get Emmett and they would both carry me away from here, whether I cooperated or not. I was just debating whether it was worth putting up a fight, when the decision was taken from me. My connection with Bella flared to life again, but I barely had time to draw breath to scream before I blacked out, my brain presumably unable to deal with the sensory input and the stress it was putting on my mind.

When I came out of it, I my nose was bumping against Jasper's lower back as he ran through the trees carrying me slung over his shoulder.

"Jazz, put me down," I slurred.

He stopped immediately, bending forward slightly and setting me down on my feet, gripping me by the arms until he was sure I was steady. "Are you ok now?" he asked, scrutinizing my face carefully.

"Yeah…" I said, scrubbing my hands over my face and through my hair. "What happened?"

"Bella blacked out, so you did too. Carlisle told me to get you out of there before you came out of it. He says you are not to go back until it is over, or we finish with the newborns, whichever comes first."

"I have to. I have to be nearby, at least. I promised." I turned to head back toward Bella, but Jasper moved to block my path. When I tried to move around him, he shifted to block me again.

"Get out of my way," I snapped, shoving him.

He rocked back on his heels slightly. "No," he said quietly, refusing to retaliate. "You are not going back. Carlisle wants you out of range of the backlash, and he told me to do whatever it takes to keep you there. I aim to be doing as I'm told."

He was calm and determined, and I knew him well enough to know that he wasn't going to be moved on the subject. He would get physical with me if he had to, but I would not be going back to the house. Although I knew it would be pointless, I decided to beg.

"Jasper…please…that was…I don't remember it being that bad. It was…unbearable. She's absolutely mindless with pain. I can't let Bella go through that alone. I want to be nearby so I can be there when she wakes up. Please…You have to let me go back. Carlisle doesn't have to know. Please let me go back." My voice was breaking as I pleaded with my older brother.

"Edward…No," he said, his voice firm. "You can't bear the burden for her, and there is no sense in you suffering needlessly. It serves no purpose, and I won't let you do it. Carlisle will be there for her. You and I are needed in the hunt for Victoria. We can either help the others together, or you can waste your time trying to get home, and I will have to waste mine stopping you. It's your choice. Choose quickly."

I hesitated, torn between my heart, which was telling me to get back to Bella as soon as possible, and my head which agreed with Jasper.

"Come on, Edward," he coaxed me, giving me a small shake. "Let's finish this. The sooner we get Victoria, the sooner we can get back to Bella."

"Where do we stand?" I asked, still hesitating.

"Alice and Rosalie got the one Alice thought was Victoria's mate. Five newborns have been destroyed, but there are more than Alice originally saw. So far, only four more. And of course there is Victoria, who seems to be evading all attempts at capture."

I nodded, reluctantly giving in. "Well, we had better get going. Let's get this done. I want to be home before Bella wakes up."

"Now you're talking," he said, slapping me on the shoulder. "Let's go."

We broke into a run and shot into the mountains.

The newborn female's piercing scream was cut of instantly as I tore her head from her body with a vicious twist. I tossed her head into the fire, sending a shower of lavender sparks spiraling skyward. Jasper tore the rest of her into pieces, and threw them into the fire on top of the already crumbling head. As we watched the flames consume her, Emmett emerged from the shadows.

"I think that's it," he said, walking over to stand with us. "The girls are going to run a final patrol to check, but I think we got everyone but that redheaded bitch."

"We should go home and regroup," Jasper interrupted. "Bella's not going to be safe for another day, and we need to find a way to stop Victoria before she gets away and tries this all over again. This ends today."

"Let's go, then," I said, eager to get back to my love.

"You guys go ahead," Emmett said. "I'll put out the fire and scatter the ashes. I'll be right behind you."

Slapping him on the shoulder, I tore out of there, Jasper close behind me. I needed to get back to Bella as soon as possible. I wanted to be the first person she saw when she woke up to her new life. I ached to hold her without the fear of hurting her.

Very faintly, as we were still a good distance away, I heard Bella screaming. I faltered, breaking my rhythm briefly before finding it again. She would still be undergoing the transformation; it had only been about 24 hours. I picked up speed, anxious to get to her side as soon as possible. I could not relax until I was at her side, not with that red-headed harpy still on the loose. Carlisle was an extremely powerful vampire, and a formidable opponent, and I trusted him to fight to the death to keep Bella safe, but I had to be there. It was if I was driven by instinct. I would not stop until I was back by her side where I belonged.

I burst through the door into a scene of carnage. Victoria's remains were spread haphazardly across the room, and in the middle stood Bella, her eyes wide and darting back and forth, unfocused, as if she was in the grip of a hallucination or a waking nightmare. Carlisle was holding her face in his hands and trying to force her to focus on him.

"Bella…Bella! Look at me! Into my eyes, Bella! Look into my eyes!" He spoke sharply, urgently, watching her eyes like a hawk.

I looked to his mind for answers, and in a flash, I understood what he was so worried about.

His mind was racing, frantic, and therefore the images I got were jumbled, but I was able to piece together than Bella had come out of the transformation earlier than is usual for newborns, and she had come out of it all alone, because he had been downstairs facing Victoria. In seconds, and without being fully aware of what she was doing, Bella had come downstairs, and torn her to pieces. Carlisle had no idea what had set her off. Upon coming back to awareness again, Bella had seen what she had done and gone into hysterics, and then quickly slipped into shock. Carlisle was trying to bring her back.

My heart sank, and I froze. Of all the things that could have gone wrong, I had not expected this being a possibility.

Although it was very rare, some human beings did not survive the transformation unscathed. For some the pain was too great, and the shock to the mind simply too much to come back from. These poor souls quickly spiraled down into madness and needed to be destroyed.

Carlisle sensed that Bella was teetering on the brink, and he was afraid he might not be able to bring her back. On top of the shock of the transformation, Bella had no one with her to guide her through those first moments when her newly enhanced senses made it seem like the whole world was exploding into her, battering her with sounds, smells and tastes, many of which she would be encountering for the first time. She would have been frightened, overwhelmed and confused, and with no one to rein her in and help her control herself, had killed for the first time ever. The shock of having killed so easily without even being aware of doing it, was threatening her sanity. At his wits end and unable to get through to her, Carlisle released her, drew back his hand, and slapped her.

Bella's head snapped to the side, and then slowly turned back, awareness returning to her face. She blinked, and her eyes suddenly slipped into focus, fixing on her new father's face.

"Carlisle?" she whimpered.

"It's ok, Bella," he soothed her, cupping her chin and observing her closely as he smoothed her tangled hair away from her face. "You're all right. It's over. You made it through."

Inexplicably, her face crumpled, and she sank slowly to her knees. "Edward…" she cried out in agony.

I moved, and was kneeling on the ground in front of her, pulling her into my arms before she finished speaking my name.

"I'm here, Bella," I crooned, rubbing circles on her back with my hand. I was so relieved to finally be holding her that it took me a moment to realize that something was still off. My words did not seem to be getting through to her. She appeared to be unaware of me. She didn't look up at me. She didn't wrap her arms around me. She just clutched at her midsection and rocked and trembled, crying out my name.

"She's grieving…" Jasper murmured, his tone full of emotion.

"Grieving? What for? " I asked, surprised.

Jasper shook his head, but before he could speak, Bella was crying out again.

"She killed him…Edward…Victoria killed him…" she moaned barely coherently.

I was temporarily stunned into silence. She thought I was dead? I looked questioningly at Carlisle. He wore a perplexed frown, his thoughts running at high speed through the events of the past half hour, starting with the moment he caught Victoria's scent.

Bella had progressed far more rapidly than he had expected even with the use of the extra venom, and had entered the final stage of the transformation, essentially her last sleep, when Carlisle realized that Victoria had somehow gotten through their defenses, and was in the house, downstairs. He had gone down to confront her rather than wait for her to come to him, extremely concerned for Bella, who was currently unconscious, and therefore completely defenseless. Victoria had behaved strangely, taunting Carlisle and not coming to the reason for her presence until he bluntly asked her what her intentions were.

"I have come for the human. A mate for a mate. Your family owes me."

Naturally, Carlisle had informed her Bella would be staying with us. Victoria just smiled, and said nothing, making no move toward Carlisle or the stairs. She just watched him, and waited. This bizarre stand-off ended when Bella cried out upstairs. Carlisle tensed and dropped into a slight crouch, expecting to have to fight Victoria to keep her away from Bella, but Victoria just looked triumphant and didn't move. Finally Carlisle spoke.

"You are too late. The transformation is complete, she is one of us."

Victoria bobbed her nose up, testing the air, checking it for Bella's scent. Her face went blank with shock, and then twisted in rage when she realized that Carlisle was telling the truth. Bella was, for the foreseeable future at least, out of her reach.

"Then I will take your son. I am no longer willing to wait for revenge. Let his mortal pet suffer the agony of losing her soul-mate instead. May she endure the unbearable pain of it for all eternity. Someone must pay. Someone has to suffer as I do, if not him then she will. If it weren't for her, I would still be whole. I am broken because of her. All of this started with her. It is only fitting that she spend the rest of eternity living with the agony of having lost her mate, and knowing that I killed him."

Carlisle's thoughts cut off abruptly, and our eyes locked, mirroring our dawning comprehension.

That had to be it. That had to be the source of the misunderstanding. Bella must have heard only the tail end of Victoria's rant, and assumed I was already dead. It would also explain why she had so suddenly and viciously torn Victoria apart.

Bella was grieving for me.

She was starting to shut down, and no matter how hard we tried, neither Carlisle nor I could get her to hear us, or see us. We could not pry her out of the little ball of misery her muscles had locked her body into, not without tearing her apart. We were simply no match for her newborn strength. I could not lift her chin to force her to see me, and I couldn't pry her arms away from her midsection so I could step into her embrace, so she could feel me and hold me. I was terrified she would withdraw so deeply into herself that we would never be able to pull her out. She could very well stop moving and eventually petrify.

We were so close to losing her, I was incapable of coherent though. I had no idea what to do next. "Carlisle…help her, please!" I cried out, turning to him in desperation.

He stood quickly, turning to Jasper. "Can you do anything?"

"I'm trying, but she is blocking me." He swiftly moved over to us, crouched behind Bella, and put his hand on her shoulder. "I've got her. I'm in," my brother said. His face crumbled as he shared her agony over having lost me, but he quickly pulled himself together and began generating a gentle wave of calm. He built it up gradually, so as not to startle Bella. It took endless minutes, but finally we were able to get through to her. Her arms loosened, and Carlisle was able to coax her into lifting her chin and looking up. Her eyes went from his face to mine, and darted to my eyes, widening in disbelief.

"Ed…Edward?" she stammered, reaching a trembling hand to my cheek.

"I'm here, Bella," I murmured, pulling her into my arms and holding her head against my chest. "It is over, my love. It is finally over. You are safe. No one will ever hurt you again."

"Oh, Edward," she cried softly, slipping her arms around me. "I thought…"

"Hush, Bella," I said firmly but gently, taking a hold of her face and looking into her blood-red eyes, only just managing to conceal my reaction to their color. "Don't even say it. It didn't happen. It was a misunderstanding. I am fine. I'm here, and…"

I stopped. Perhaps now wasn't the time to remind her that Victoria had been destroyed. Scanning the room, I noticed that her body was gone, and Emmett, Alice, Rosalie and Esme were gathered around us. They must have disposed of Victoria's remains. I looked at each of them one after another, making sure they were all unharmed. I finally locked eyes with Alice, who smiled serenely, and nodded at me.

Everything is going to be alright, Edward.

I finally allowed myself to relax, seeing again in her mind the image of Bella and her, arms around each other, looking over their shoulders and smiling. It was the vision Alice had right from the beginning. Out of habit, my mind drifted toward guilt again, as I wondered how differently things might have turned out if I had trusted in my sister's vision right from the start. But I stopped myself immediately.

Because for the first time since I met Bella, I actually believed things might just work out for us.

To be continued…