Note added 6/21/09: I have gotten a lot of story alert adds to this story since it has been tagged as completed, leading me to believe that maybe I wasn't clear about where I would be continuing it.

I will not be posting the sequel here. I am posting it as a separate story, and the first chapter is already up.

Note: One of the things I liked about Breaking Dawn, was that Stephenie Meyer went there. Meaning we actually got to see not only Bella turned into a vampire, but Bella living as one too. None of my favorite vampire series ever crossed that taboo line, and that is why I have always been interested in reading and writing fan-fiction that explores the main character's new life as a vampire. My main beef with Breaking Dawn was that Bella had it way too easy. She essentially emerged a super-vampire, with no learning curve, no growing pains, or any difficulties whatsoever.

I aim to fix that.

In this story, Bella won't have it so easy. She will struggle with almost every aspect of being a newborn vampire. Don't be fooled by the fact that she was able to resist animal blood. Human blood may turn out to be a different ballgame altogether.

Bella is out of character, although I do try to make her 'logically' out of character, if that makes any sense. What I mean is that since she is not going to have it as easy as she did in Breaking Dawn, it automatically follows that she will evolve differently, and become a slightly different person. Hopefully, if I do my job right, realistically within the parameters of her existing character.

This will not be a plot driven story. It will be more relationship driven, I think. Every chapter will be a stand-alone short story (probably around 10K words, give or take a K or two), forming an overall look at Bella's life, relationships and experiences as a vampire. I do it this way for two reasons. One, you will never, ever have to deal with a cliffhanger again (except with this preview. It is incomplete, being a preview, so yeah…cliffy). You won't have to wait for a conclusion or answers, or wait to find out what happens next. This also benefits me, because I won't be feeling the (entirely self-imposed) pressure to get out another chapter. It will also allow me work on another story on the side, should I feel the need to write something else.

That is the plan, anyway. As we all know, plans can change.

Bringing up Baby - Preview

Bella:

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair...blah, blah, blah.

I felt a surge of annoyance, and not just because Dickens was a morose, depressing whiner whose books irritated the hell out of me. It was mostly because everything I came across these days reminded me that my life was schizophrenic. I was struggling daily in my new existence, and yet I was happier than I had ever been before. My emotions were heightened, which made the good times wonderful and the bad times pretty desperate. They were also all over the place. One minute I was enjoying my new life to the fullest, and the next I was throwing a tantrum to end all tantrums, and the next, I was in the depths of despair. And I couldn't seem to control it.

It was confusing and annoying, and I couldn't even open a book without being reminded. My irritation spiked, and I threw the offending tome against the wall.

"Hey!"

I jumped, startled, and turned toward Jasper, who was sitting at his desk glaring at me.

"If you want to throw books go to your room and throw your own," he snapped. "Now pick it up."

I hid my embarrassment at my childish outburst by glaring back at him defiantly, not moving.

"Bella…"

I had become quite adept at recognizing the limits of Jasper's patience by the tone of his voice. I could tell he had just reached those limits, and he'd reached them far quicker than he usually did where I was concerned. He must be in a bad mood. Deciding that now might not be the best time to test them or him, I stood and walked over to the far wall, bending to pick up his book. I was getting better at controlling my strength, so fortunately it was mostly undamaged. One of the corners was slightly dented, but I managed to carefully squeeze it back into shape. Smoothing my hand over the cover, I opened it to the copyright page. It wasn't a first edition, but it was close. It was probably valuable, it didn't belong to me, and I had almost damaged it in a fit of pique. Feeling slightly ashamed, I turned, only to find Jasper observing me intently.

"Drop your shield, Bella," he ordered softly.

Shame was obliterated by outrage. "What?!" I yelled. "Why? All I did was throw a book!"

"You know exactly why," he said firmly. "Now drop it."

Yes, I knew why, dammit. I remembered. How could I ever forget? They would never let me. I would never let me. I battled a roiling surge of anger, trying valiantly to smother it. If I dropped my shield now, Jasper would find exactly what he was looking for; he would find exactly what hadn't even been there until he made his unreasonable request. Until he'd ordered me to submit to his invasive probing, I had been doing fine. A little testier than usual, but I was fine. Now, however…I squeezed my eyes tightly shut, and fought harder.

"Isabella. Do it. Now." His voice turned sharp.

I flinched and opened my eyes. Jasper was standing now, his eyes burning into mine. If I didn't let him in immediately, he'd come over here and make me, and then he'd find out that I was rapidly losing control of my temper. Then he would forcibly calm me down, like I was some hysterical head-case in need of sedation. Then, when the others got home, I'd get a lecture from Carlisle while the rest of the family gathered around the living room to dissect Bella's latest hissy-fit.

I wasn't in the mood for all that. I was tired of this incessant prying into my mental and emotional state. I couldn't let Jasper touch me until I had a handle on my rage.

So, stupidly, I bolted.

He must have seen me tense in preparation, because I never made it further than the hallway before he tackled me face down to the ground. Before I could blink, he had straddled my hips, bent my arms behind my back and had secured them by pinning my wrists together between my shoulder blades. They were bent and stretched to the limit of my vampire physiology, and as a result I could not contract my muscles enough to exert sufficient strength to free myself. My 'babysitter' certainly knew what he was doing. Without leverage, and faced with Jasper's decades of experience, my already newborn strength was useless. That didn't stop me from struggling with every ounce of strength I had. "Jesus…" he muttered, as my emotions battered at him. I barely had time to shriek before my anger dissipated, leaving behind an all-enveloping calm. The fight drained out of me, and I went limp.

"You can let me up now," I mumbled into the carpet. "I'm all better."

He loosened his grip on me slightly. "Your shield had better be down when I let go of you," he said warningly. "And you are leaving it down until Carlisle tells you otherwise. Clear?"

I said nothing, waiting for him to let me up.

"Answer me," he ground out, tightening his grip again.

"Yes. Clear," I replied quietly.

He got off me, wisely refraining from helping me up, despite the dictates of his upbringing. I hopped agilely to my feet, and busied myself with straightening my clothes as he watched me appraisingly.

"Why did you run?" he finally asked.

"Because I was fine," I muttered, refusing to meet his eyes.

He sighed. "Bella. Look at me."

Reluctantly, I did.

"I thought you understood that it wasn't your determination to make."

I shrugged, deliberately looking down so my hair fell into my face, shielding me from his scrutiny.

"Dammit, Bella," he snapped, "look at me when I am talking to you, and get your hair out of your face."

My head snapped up and I swiped my hair out of the way. "Jesus, Major Whitlock, relax," I sniped. "You're not in the army anymore. What crawled up your ass and died, anyway?"

He frowned and squeezed his eyes shut, pinching the bridge of his nose, a gesture I seemed to inspire in quite a few people these days. I wondered if I had pushed him too far. If he noticed my brief twinge of fear, he didn't show it.

"I can't talk to you when you are like this," he said. "Just go to your room, and stay there until Carlisle gets home."

"Seriously, Jasper?" I goaded him. "You are sending me to my room?" Hilarious.

"Bella," he said wearily, "I don't care where you go, as long as you stay within the walls of this house. So pick a room – or a closet, if that is what you want - get your ass in it before I do it for you, and stay there until Carlisle comes to you. I don't want to see you, hear you, or talk to you until then. And keep your shield down."

We faced off for a moment, glaring at each other. Jasper took a step closer to me, his height making it necessary for me to crane my neck back. It is a little hard to glare effectively at someone when they are towering over you, so I capitulated first.

Heaving an exaggerated sigh, I spun on my heels and went to my room.

Closing the door with a little more force than I had intended, I retrieved my laptop from beneath the day bed, and powered it up. Sitting down cross-legged on the mattress, I checked my email. Finding a new one from Angela, I dashed off a quick reply to her and then settled down to compose a message to Charlie and Renee. That took a little more concentration, as there where things I needed to conceal, such as anything that would clue them in to our exact location. Once I was sure I had been vague yet chatty enough to satisfy their need for information, I hit send, switched off my computer, and set it on the table next to the daybed.

I lay back and stretched out, my hands resting on my stomach and looked at the textured ceiling, looking for the familiar shapes that I had picked out over many hours of lying here with nothing better to do. I located the rearing horse straight above me, the woman's three-quarter profile by the wall and the wolf's head by the door before allowing myself to be distracted by the sounds the almost empty house made. I still marveled at how much more my vampire hearing could pick up. The house was alive with sounds as it and its contents shifted and settled; the hissing and groaning of the pipes, the creaks and pops as the furniture and floors shifted and settled, and beyond all those layers of sound, the crackling of the fire in Jasper's study, and the muted clicking of the keyboard as his fingers moved across keys, interrupted occasionally by the whisper of turned pages, and the soft scratching of pencil on paper. As I listened to the comforting sounds of his presence, I felt myself relaxing even more, and I was pretty sure it was without his interference.

I sighed, already beginning to regret my loss of control. Why didn't I just drop my shield when he told me to? I'd probably still be curled up in an armchair in his study, keeping him company while he worked, instead of bored in my room waiting to get bitched out by Carlisle.

Well, I had no one to blame but myself. I had agreed to these restrictions, after all. Not that I really had a choice; they would have been imposed upon me regardless. Nevertheless, I had acknowledged their necessity, and therefore had agreed to them.

If only I hadn't gone off on my own. If I hadn't gone out on my own, I wouldn't be in this position.

That was my first mistake.

Bella might come across as unusually bitchy here. That will only be an occasional occurrence, not a full time gig.