RIB

Part five

Fizzben brought their meals, easily carrying everything over at once. He had four hands after all. The waiter stood by the table quietly while K, J, and A took their first bites of the food.
"How is everything?" he asked.

"Excellent!" K told him.

"Best Sushi I've ever had!" A added.

"My burger is a bit too well done." J complained.

"Do me a favor, K." Fizzben said. "Don't bring this hooligan in here anymore. He has absolutely no class."

"It's his upbringing." K sighed. "I have another favor to ask you, do you know where we can find a member of the Vogon underworld with some standing? I want to hear what's going on from their point of view."

"You're in luck there." Fizzben told him. "He's having dinner in a private room in the back of this establishment" Fizzben took a quick look at his watch. "I'd wait another twenty minutes before wandering back there. He'll be having his after dinner tea by then."

"Why don't we just barge in on him right now?" J suggested.

"Forget it kid!" K answered. "The one thing you don't want to do is to watch a Vogon eat dinner!"

In a private soundproofed room at the very back of the restaurant, Prostetnic Vogon Jeltz was enjoying a mug of imported Neptunian tea. He felt rather full after having finished five orders of scintillating blue jeweled scuttling crabs. Suddenly, he was interrupted by a voice from behind him.

"Hello Jeltz!" K greeted the ugly green overweight being. K tried not to look directly at the Vogon, because as like most members of his species, Jeltz wasn't that easy to look at, having about as much sex appeal as a road accident.

"What have I done to attract the attention of a member of MIB?" Jeltz asked.

"Don't play stupid with me, Jeltz." K answered. "I have it on good authority that your family is in the process of smuggling in bugblatters. You know they are a banned species on this planet."

"I have no idea what you are talking about." Jeltz said in a huff. "Where did you hear that ugly lie? Wait! Don't tell me, have you been talking to Beeblebrox?"

"Actually not yet, though he is on my list of beings of interest." K answered. He grabbed the Vogon's chair and quickly kicked one of the legs out from under it. Prostetnic fell to the floor with a deadening splat.
"That is for offing Omnicron." K yelled. "We have your Blagulon Kappa assassin in custody by the way."

"I did you a favor 86ing him." Jeltz roared. "He was working for the 'Brox!"

"Actually, I think he was framed by this Beeblebrox." K yelled back. "Zaphod was probably looking for a way to get you guys out of his way, and I think he intended to use the MIB to his own end. So save your blubbery ass and tell me where he is."

"I actually don't know that." Jeltz answered. "But I have some connections, I might be able to find out for you."

Zaphod banged his fists on the control panel again, but the Heart of Gold refused to power up its Infinite Improbability Drive.

"How many times do I have to tell you that the ship is going to require 72 hours to regenerate the power cell?" Marvin the paranoid android moaned. "You overtaxed the ship's energy supplies playing your Disaster Area CD's so loud." He added.

"Well if I'm stuck on this stupid rock for another three days, I think I'd better find a good party." Zaphod said. He walked into a water closet and took a good look at himself in the mirror. Zaphod pulled a comb out of his pocket and carefully touched up the hair on both of his heads.
"I look Amazing!" he muttered out loud.
"See you later Marvin!" Zaphod shot out as he walked out of the ship and headed uptown on Broadway.

"Know any good jokes?" Eddy the computer asked Marvin. "Looks like we're stuck with each other for the next three days!"

"I don't think I can stand that!" Marvin moaned.

"Knock knock" Eddy started.

"You've got to be kidding!" Marvin sighed "Here I am, brain the size of a planet, and I have to play knock knock jokes with a stupid computer! I'm either going to have to explode myself, or go outside and take a walk. Not a very good choice, but it would be a shame if someone had to peel me off the walls."

Marvin left the ship and started walking. He tried crossing the street, but bumped into something invisible. He quickly shifted his vision into the x-ray spectrum and noticed the late model Ford illegally parked in front of a ten star restaurant. Marvin tried the door to the car and found it was open. He got into the back seat and sat down.

"Stupid humans left this auto-car unlocked." he thought. "Think I'll just sit here and take a nap."