I am so sorry that it has taken me forever to update. I have been super busy preparing for my recital. I am singing Brave by Idina Menzel and it is a tough one for me. Also, where I work we are short staffed so I am working some crazy hours. However, things are beginning to slow down so I will be able to write more.
Enjoy! :)
We go to the school to pick Beth up together. We have decided that we want to tell her about the move over Ice Cream.
"Hey Kiddo." I say as she gets in the black Range Rover.
"Hey Rachie! Hey, Mom!"
"Beth, Rachel and I need to ask your opinion on something big. What do you say we go get some ice cream and talk?"
"I love ice cream! Wait, am I in trouble?"
"No, not at all sweetie."
Mom and Beth moved in two weeks ago. Things are going great. Beth loves her new school and has made several friends. Puck now lives with Kurt and me and is working with one of my instructors from NYADA on his first musical. Quinn has been coming to visit almost every weekend, and Beth really seems to like her. In fact, Beth is with Quinn right now. They went out to see the newest animated movie and to get dinner.
"Rachel! Are you home?" I hear mom scream across the house before the door slams behind her.
"In my room, Mom!" I yell back. Mom walks in with a smile on her face. She plants a kiss on my cheek before making herself comfortable on my bed.
"Are you busy, Baby?"
"No, not at all. What's up?" I ask, turning away from my laptop to face her.
"Come sit with me, we need to talk." I slowly get up and head to the bed. I really do hate those words.
"Okay. Talk to me." I say, cautiously.
"I'm thinking we should tell Beth about Quinn and Puck." I am confused. She must be able to read the confusion on my face as she continues. "I think she should tell Beth that Puck and Quinn are her biological parents. I know that it may be too soon, but since they are always around and spending a lot of time with her, she deserves to know."
"Really? I think it is a great idea. I can't speak for Quinn but I know Puck would love to be able to tell Beth." I say with the biggest smile gracing my face.
"When Quinn gets back here with Beth, will you take Beth up and start her bath while I talk to Quinn and Puck about this? If they say yes, I think we should tell her tonight."
"Sure, Mom. Are you nervous?" I ask changing the tone of the conversation.
"Of course. What if Beth decides that she wants them more than me? Or worse, what if she hates me for never telling her in the first place?" Mom looks down at her hands.
"I don't think she will hate you. I also do not believe that she will want them more than you. I mean, when I found out about you, sure I wanted you in my life, but I still wanted my dads there too. I didn't hate my dads from keeping me from you. I wasn't happy about the contract but I realized it was for my own protection. Plus, I believe it is better to tell her now than to wait until she is, I don't know, eighteen."
"Yeah, I guess you are right." I lean in to hug my mom. This parenting thing is so difficult.
About two hours later, Beth and I are in the bathroom for her bath. I fill the tub with warm water and put some of her favorite bubble bath in the tub. Once she is in and settled, I get comfortable on the floor next to her. I decide that we need to have a little talk ourselves.
"Kiddo, you know I love you right?"
"Yeah, Rachie. I know. I love you too." Her smile reaches her eyes and she looks just like Puck when she looks up at me.
"Good, and you know that if you ever needed anyone to talk to, I will listen right? If you feel like mom might get mad at you, come to me. If mom makes you mad, come to me."
"Yes. What is this about, Rachie?"
"Nothing. I just want you to know that I am going to be the best big sister any kid has ever had. I love you very much." I say, planting a kiss on her cheek.
"You already are."
After she finishes bathing, I wrap her up in my big fluffy towel and carry her to my room. I dry her off, give her a pair of her panties and one of my NYADA t-shirts. It swallows her whole and she looks even more adorable than before. We head down to the kitchen to get her a glass of chocolate milk before we go into the living room and join Mom, Quinn, and Puck. I take the seat next to Puck and Beth crawls into Mom's lap. I can tell that Quinn has been crying and Puck kisses me like he has never kissed me before, so full of love and gratitude.
"Bethie, are you up for a little family talk?" I hear Mom ask Beth. I look up in time to see Beth nod her head. "Okay, so do you remember me telling you that you were adopted and that I am your adoptive mother?" Beth nods again. "Do you remember how I told you that your biological mom and dad loved you very much and only wanted what was best for you?"
"Yes, Mommy, I remember. You said that they loved me so much and couldn't take care of me so they gave me to you so you could take care of me and be my mommy. That one day they would be back in my life but you would always be my mommy."
"That's right, baby. Well your biological mommy and daddy are back."
"Are they going to take me away? Do I have to live with them? I don't want to live with them. I want you, Rachie, Aunt Quinn, and Uncle Puck. Don't make me go with them, Mommy."
"Baby, you aren't going anywhere and we are all still going to be here with you." Mom says running her hand through Beth's hair to calm her down. "Beth, honey, your mom and dad are sitting right here. Aunt Quinn and Uncle Puck are you biological mom and dad. They love you very much." Beth doesn't say anything at first. She just stares at me, practically begging me to say something to her.
"Kiddo, what's going on in that head of yours?" Beth gets up from mom's lap and walks over to Quinn. She motions for Quinn to come down to her level and she examines her face. She then moves on to Puck and does the same thing. Then she comes to me and whispers in my ear.
"Is it true, Rachie? Are they really my parents?"
"Yeah, Kiddo, they are and they love you very much." I whisper back.
Beth looks at all of us again, tears slowly welling up in her hazel eyes. I reach out to grab her to give her a hug but she pulls away from me and runs upstairs to my guest room, her bedroom. Quinn starts to get up, tears spilling out of her eyes, but I motion for her to stop.
"I know you are worried, but I think it would be best if I go upstairs and talk to her. I had something a little similar to her situation happen in my life." I cast a sad glance at mom. Quinn nods and I head upstairs. When I reach her door I notice that it is locked. Really?! What child locks themselves in a bedroom? This is just like something I would do when I was younger. Hell, this was almost as good of a storm out as mine. Almost.
"Beth, it's Rachie, can we talk baby?"
"No. Go away." That hurt. I know she is just upset but still, it hurts.
"You know I have been through something like this before. Maybe I can help you. Answer some questions or just hold you, something."
"Okay, but it better be just you." I hear her get off of the bed and slowly unlock the door. She peaks around the side of the door and quickly opens it and slams it shut again, locking it behind us. For the longest time we just sit on the bed in silence.
"You are always honest with me right?"
"Of course, Kiddo. That is our thing."
"You were adopted right?" She asks gently.
"Sure was."
"When you found mommy the first time, she didn't want you right?"
"Uhmm. I am not so sure it was the fact she didn't want me as much as the fact she was scared."
"So she left you again because she was scared of you?"
"Well, not really of me. Maybe of being a mother again. When I found her the first time you were still in Quinn's tummy. She wasn't really sure if she was made for this mothering thing."
"But she adopted me. So she must have been ready."
"Well later on she realized that she did want a child just not a grown one. She wanted a baby. She wanted to have a fresh start. I was old and almost grown."
"Oh, well how do I know Quinn and Puck are not going to get scared and leave me too? I know I can be a handful. I mean after all I am only six, just wait till my teen years."
"They wouldn't have cared about you running up here if they weren't committed. In fact, when I headed up here Quinn was crying. She loves you kiddo, and I know Puck does too. He has cried many nights because he wanted you to know the truth. They will never leave you, I promise."
She hesitated at first then crawled into my lap. "But Mommy still wants me right? She isn't going to leave me?"
"No, Baby, mommy will always be your mommy. Look at it this way, now you have double mommies which means double the presents and double the love and hugs and kisses."
"Really?!"
"Yes. Trust me I know." I gave her a soft smile.
"Do you think they are still down there?"
"I know they are."
"I think I am ready to go back down."
"Okay, if you are sure."
"I am. I need to apologize for my storm out."
"Okay, let's go, Kiddo." She gets up off of my lap and grabs my hand. We get to the top of the stairs and I can see Shelby consoling Quinn and Puck. Beth tugs at my hand causing me to look down. "Yes?"
"Thanks for coming after me. I love you, and you are the best sissy in the world."
"No problem, babe. I love you too."