RIB
Part Thirteen
K, J, and A walked up the length of the subway tunnel toward the opening at 122nd Street. Astro lifted his two co-agents up to street level, landing with them a few feet from where the black Ford was awkwardly parked. K sat in the front seat with the door open and tuned the two way radio to the MIB HQ channel and reported in.
"Agent Kay, here. Two bugs have been dispatched, but one got away. Agent A thinks it was heading uptown toward the Bronx."
"Good to hear from you." C answered. "We've just got a report of a disturbance in Van Cortland Park that sounds like your bug has been spotted there. If you hurry, you might catch it. A bit earlier, there was a similar police report from up in Fort Tryon Park near the Cloisters."
"Let's get going." Kay said.
"You two get in the car." Astro told them. "I'll push."
The two MIB agents got in the car and closed the doors. "What do you mean you'll push?" Jay asked as the car was suddenly lifted into the air. Astro held the Ford over his head while flying toward the Bronx. Kay hummed 'The Battle Hymn of the Republic" to himself, while Jay made use of the wrapper from an old 'Happy Meal' he found in the back seat as a barf bag.
"Guess you get air sick real easy, don't you" Kay said.
"Shut up." his partner snapped back, just before upchucking again.
Astro gently set the Ford down in the golf course, right in the middle of the largest fairway. A crowd of people were gathered in the middle of the green as the three MIB agents walked up to them.
"We're from the government pest control department." Kay blurted out. "Please stand back and give us room to examine this thing."
The crowd stepped back at the sight of the three men dressed totally in black on a hot sunny day. Lying in the middle of the 7th green was a huge brown and black giant cockroach. The bugblatter beast lay on its back with its six legs up in the air, and its huge mouth of shark like teeth slightly open. A moist bit of steamy breath formed a cloud hanging over its open mouth. The giant insect like creature was still alive, but just barely.
"What killed it, Kay?" Astro asked. "I never touched that one."
Kay walked around the beast, carefully inspecting it. He extracted a pair of thick rubber gloves from his jacket pocket and put them on. Bending down, he opened one of the insect's bodily orifices and stuffed his left arm into it, like a Proctologist, or a Gynecologist might and examined the monster's insides. After probing around with his hand, he extracted a mass of gooey material.
"What are you doing, Kay?" Jay asked. "Goosing the thing, and pulling out dingle berries?"
"You need to learn your bug anatomy, partner." Kay said. "You're thinking of the wrong orifice. This bug is a female, and she was quite pregnant."
"What do you mean was?" Astro asked.
"I mean, she just laid a shit load of eggs someplace before she came here to die." Kay answered. "Our problems are about to multiply, quite literally!"
"How long do these things take to hatch?" Jay babbled.
"This species is quite amazing in that department." Jay said. "The eggs mature almost completely in the mothers body, she lays them only hours before they are ready to emerge from their cocoons." He explained, holding up the fibrous mass he had extracted from the now dead monster. "This one got left behind."
Jay dropped the sack like egg on the ground, and shot it with a blast from his BFG. The egg turned black from the weapon's heat and it burned with a disgusting smell. The stillborn remains of a midget bugblatter beast crawled out of the remains of the egg, and Jay shot it with his ray pistol. Astro gave it a blast from his right arm cannon for good measure.
"OK, everyone, I need your attention!" Kay yelled out to the crowd that had backed up a few feet. "I need to treat everyone for radiation poisoning. The MIB agents put on their dark sunglasses and pulled out their neuralyzers. "Just look at the light from these devices and you'll be protected from whatever nasty radiation these bugs may have produced." Kay told the crowd.
He and Jay neuralyzed the crowd as Astro lifted the remains of the now dead giant bug up and flew it to the west, dumping in somewhere in New Jersey where it would never be noticed.
Author's note: As an ex-New Yorker, I never miss an opportunity to put N.J. down!