Chapter Fifteen: Legends are Lessons

The bridge was silent at first, everyone collectively holding their breath as the two tiny triangles labeled Kirk and Khan inched their way across the main screen. Charlie couldn't shift her focus from Kirk's signal, too afraid that if she glanced away for a moment, he would be gone. The deafening stillness made the pounding in her ears all the louder, and she wondered if the others could hear her ragged gasps as she attempted to keep herself under control. As he walked behind her, McCoy grabbed her arm and snagged her attention.

"C'mon, Spitfire," he said, directing her over to one of the clear paneled stations. "We'll monitor Jim over here; might make it a bit easier." Although he didn't say it, Charlie gave him a grateful smile at his thoughtful gesture. At least this way, Charlie felt like she had a hand in keeping Jim alive.

Only a moment passed before a crewmember in red shouted, "Sir, Kirk is headed for collision at point four three two."

"Captain, there is debris directly ahead," Spock relayed, urgency in his tone.

"Copy that," Jim replied and Charlie watched as his little dot on the panel jerked to the side, his line of projection now pointing him away from the Vengeance.

"Whoa, Jim!" McCoy shouted. "You're way off course!"

"I know, I know! I can see that!" Jim snapped.

"Don't they have a guide or something in their helmets?" Charlie whispered by McCoy's side.

"Use your display compass, Captain," Sulu said not a moment later.

"Well that answers that."

"You must correct precisely thirty-seven point two-four-three degrees."

"Got it," Jim answered, his dot beginning to curve towards the point of entry. "I'm working my way back. Scotty, are you going to be ready with that door, right?" he shouted. Instead of a jovial comeback or grumpy remark, the captain was answered with silence. "Mr. Scott, where are you?"

Charlie felt her heart rate increase and the back of her legs light up with goosebumps as she and the doctor shared worried glances. "Where the hell is he?" she muttered.

"I have no idea," the doctor responded, his forehead wrinkled with concern. "Jim and Khan won't be able to enter that ship without him."

"Captain, he can't seem to hear you," Uhura announced. She had shifted to another chair as she attempted all manner of combinations to locate Scotty through the field of Terran interference. "I'm working on getting his signal back. Standby," she added her arms and fingers moving like a pianist while she manipulated the communications array. Unable to keep still, Charlie took Uhura's other chair, shoving an earpiece into her ear in the process.

"What can I do to help?" she asked, poised for any direction. One of the lessons Pike had given her was the operation of the communications array. Although she couldn't speak the languages of other species, she could manipulate the system and give Uhura's supersonic ears the chance at picking up Scotty's missing communiqué.

"Try narrowing the frequencies on the delta and beta scanners," Uhura ordered, unsurprised by Charlie's request as she pointed to a small monitor on the left. "I'm working on the alpha and gamma ones. I can't tell if all the debris is causing interference with our communicators or not." With a nod, Charlie began dialing in the frequencies to different pitches while they diligently listening for any hint of the Scottish brogue that belonged to their chief engineer.

"Dammit," Jim growled, interrupting the tense calm.

"Captain, what is it?" Spock asked.

"My helmet was hit. Uhura, tell me you have Mr. Scott back."

Charlie and Uhura exchanged the same look of apprehension by that news. "Not yet," she answered. "Charlie and I are still working on the signal. His communicator is working; I don't know why he's not responding."

"Where in the hell are you, you bloody Scotsman," Charlie growled in frustration as she tried yet again to utilize the frequency from his last communication. "I don't understand it. It's like the equipment shows he's there, but I can't hear a damn thing!"

"Same here," Uhura nodded. "I don't get it either. He should be able to answer."

Charlie considered that when an unpleasant idea popped in her head. Wrapping her fingers around the microphone on the earpiece, she leaned over and whispered to Uhura, "You don't think someone got ahold of him over there, and that's why he won't answer?"

Uhura stopped, her attention turning to Charlie so swiftly her black ponytail twirled around and almost hit the ensign sitting next to her. "No, it's technical," spinning back to her own monitor she added in an undertone, "it's got to be."

Suddenly the little icon that displayed Khan's position on the main screen disappeared, leaving only Kirk's blinking triangle as they drew closer to the dark, enemy ship. Charlie spun toward the screen when the alert went off, her eyes widening by the loss of the augment.

"Mr. Sulu, did we lose Khan?" Spock asked, and though as a Vulcan he would never vocalize his alarm, he still sat forward and his brows drew together over his concerned, dark eyes.

"I don't know, Commander," Sulu answered, his fingers flying. "I'm having trouble tracking him in all this debris." Charlie turned back to work with Uhura on locating Scotty, but she kept one eye and ear on the escalating problems happening below. She knew Jim was nuts for his plan, and she was beginning to worry that she wouldn't be able to tell how much so in person. But they had the next few minutes to live through, first, if she even wanted to consider the future.

"Was Khan hit?"

"We're trying to find him now," Spock answered.

"Captain, you need to adjust your target destination to one-eight-three by four-seven-three degrees," Sulu ordered.

Kirk's signal bobbed and weaved on screen as he avoided the chunks of the Enterprise floating out in space. Charlie had just peeked over to see how much closer he was to Marcus's ship when with the barest hint of alarm, Jim growled, "Spock, my display is dead. I'm flying blind."

Charlie froze; her hand hesitating above the display. That was not good, in any way, shape, or form. Uhura snuck a glance, her eyes full of understanding as Charlie tried to keep her breathing regular and mind focused on the task of the missing engineer, but she knew that without the display, Jim was going to have a hell of a time getting to the access porthole.

"Captain, without your display compass, hitting your target destination is mathematically impossible," Spock emphasized.

"Spock, if I get back, we really need to talk about your bedside manner."

"When you get back, Captain," Charlie snapped, unable to prevent herself from inputting to the conversation. "I don't want to hear about this if business."

"Charlie, I'm flying blind with no guide and who the hell knows where Khan is." There was silence as she just glared at the screen. "Okay fine, when I get back."

"Commander, he's not gonna make it," Sulu muttered, his sight moving between the stoic Vulcan and the anxious woman at the communication station. Charlie checked the path Jim was on and realized Sulu was right. Based on Jim's current flight path, he was either going to miss the ship entirely or bounce of the hull like a Ping-Pong ball. Spock glanced back to Charlie, her search for Scotty completely abandoned as she stared at the tiny dot that was Kirk. She was running through the possibility of using the last of the energy to beam the captain back onto the relative safety of the ship when Khan's indicator flashed back online.

"My display is still functioning," Khan said as if he hadn't just disappeared in space for a whole thirty seconds, letting everyone think who-knows-what happened to him."I see you, Kirk; you're two hundred meters ahead at my one o'clock. Cut to your left, a few degrees and follow me."

Charlie was not fond over the idea that Jim had to rely on the augment in order to reach the ship, but what choice did she have? Besides, Khan wouldn't have wasted the energy to report back to the Enterprise if he intended to leave Jim behind. Although, it didn't matter that Jim followed Khan or not if they weren't going to make it onto the ship without Scotty's help.

"Scotty, it's Charlie," she said, her hand shoving the earpiece further into her ear canal as she glanced towards the screen again, opting for a different tactic. She rose and walked to the bannister separating the upper and lower bridge, hoping through sheer willpower that the Scotsman could hear her. "We're having a hard time reaching you, so if you can, please find some way to indicate to us you heard." Silence only came through the system as her breathing increased, and there was no visible sign from the ship. "Mr. Scott, answer me."

"Scotty, we're getting close, we need a warm welcome. Do you copy?" Jim added.

"Goddamn, man, answer!" Charlie snapped. Still nothing.

"Do you copy, Scotty?!"

Spock and Charlie both glanced to each other. Neither knew what to do, the concern on the bridge so tense it was palpable. Soon, everyone turned to observe the dots of Khan and Kirk as they move ever closer to the ship, wondering if they were about to become the flies on a windshield. "If you can hear us, Mr. Scott," Spock tried, the force in his voice increasing with each word. "Open the door in ten . . . nine . . ."

"Scotty!" Jim shouted.

". . . eight . . . seven . . ."

"Mr. Scott, where are you!"

". . . six . . ."

"Eighteen hundred meters," a science officer said, although everyone could see from the screen that the distance was closing too fast.

". . . five . . ."

"Sixteen hundred meters."

"Scotty, where are you?"

"Four . . . three . . ."

"Do you copy, Scotty? Please!"

"Twelve hundred meters."

". . . two . . ."

Spock tensed, his eyes beginning to grow wider. "Mr. Scott, open the door."

"Open the door!"

"Mr. Scott, now!" shouted Spock.

"Scotty, come on!" Charlie yelled at the same time.

The triangles indicating Kirk and Khan's position collided with the Vengeance on screen, both flashing before they disappeared. The atmosphere tensed further, everyone holding their breath in muted concentration as they waited for word from their captain. One voice surfaced through the speakers and consoles, and Charlie about fainted when she recognized the brogue.

"Welcome Aboard," Scotty greeted.

"They're in," Sulu announced as a collective cheer of relief Rang out. Even the Vulcan in the command chair appeared to relax as his shoulders dipped and the small crease between his slanted brows loosened.

"Seriously? Seriously?! They need to stop these goddamn dramatics," Charlie growled, clutching at her pounding heart as she slumped over the banister. "It does absolutely nothing for my heart."

McCoy smirked, shaking his head at her antics. "Dramatics? You're one to talk Spitfire, slumped over the rail like that."

Charlie harrumphed as she straightened, sticking her tongue out at the surly man as she fixed her dress. "Yes, well, Jim can't have all the fun. And I swear to God, if we live through this, I'm gonna kill him when he gets back. Is he always this crazy?"

"He'll be happy to know that," the doctor responded dryly. "And yes, he is."

"Wonderful."

"Commander, I have that transmission as requested," Uhura announced.

Spock spun towards her, the fingers that gripped the edges of the chair relaxed as he ordered, "On screen, please."

Uhura nodded. "Standby."

A fuzzy image was thrown on the view screen, it pixelating until Uhura narrowed the frequency. As it sharped, a head with dark salt and pepper hair and deep wrinkles materialized. The head came up, slanted eyebrows older but recognizable and deep, familiar eyes full of far more wisdom regarded the scene with the same stoicism as the male on the chair.

"Mr. Spock," he greeted

Charlie could almost hear the smirk in Spock's answer.

"Mr. Spock."

She couldn't stop her own grin that spread across her cheeks, her awe and excitement tempered only through sheer willpower. She had to forcibly remind herself not to bounce on her toes, and she gripped her hands together tightly to stop them from nervously tugging at her dress. She noticed McCoy raising an eyebrow as her antics, but that elated smile was in no way dampened as she stared at a person she believed she would never meet in her life.

"I will be brief," the younger Spock occupying the captain's chair broadcasted. "In your travels, did you ever encounter a man named Khan?"

Spock Prime darkened by the mention of that name. His eyes turned inward as he shook his head, and Charlie knew what no one else did. She knew that the elder Spock was reliving the moment when he sacrificed himself for the crew, a sacrifice that although was reversed, was still traumatizing by any means.

"As you know," he began. "I have made a vow never to give you information that could potentially alter your destiny. Your path is yours to walk and yours alone." He paused; his weighted words caused Spock's shoulders to drop. The commander spun towards Charlie, his brow rose in challenge as if telling her that if Spock Prime wasn't going to answer, she would. "That being said," the elder continued, regaining Spock's attention. "Khan Noonien Singh is the most dangerous adversary the Enterprise ever faced. He is brilliant, ruthless, and he will not hesitate to kill every single one of you."

That appeared to peak Spock's interest. "Did you defeat him?"

Again, there was a flash of remembrance. "At great cost, yes."

"How?"

"In many ways, he killed himself," Spock Prime answered. "Khan and those like him believe themselves to be superior and destroy any they find weaker than themselves. They swarm like a plague and leave nothing but death in their wake." Eyes shifted throughout the bridge, the stillness so complete a pin could have dropped. "He does have a weakness," Spock Prime added. "His overwhelming need for power and vengeance, and the protection of his crew dominate him. Once he is rid of them, he ceases to have a purpose in his mind. But he will do whatever is necessary to destroy you, even if it means it takes his own life."

Charlie thought over their conversations, and knowing what she knew of Khan from her life back in 21st century Earth, she knew what was needed to hold Khan complacent; the same thing Marcus learned. "His crew," she said.

Dark glances were shot her way and Charlie shrugged her shoulders as if to ask 'what?' She hadn't meant to speak aloud, but it was the same idea that had been bouncing around her own skull; she just didn't have the vindication until then.

"The ensign is right, Commander," Spock Prime said, his head dipping towards Charlie who blushed profusely by the acknowledgement. "If you control Khan's crew, you can control him."

"That must have been how my father did it," Charlie added.

Commander Spock's head tilted to the side, as he spun towards her. "Ensign, what are you talking about?"

Her eyes shot between the two Spocks before landing on the commander. "Khan told me that the reason my father was able to defeat him was because he figured out Khan's weakness first. My dad must have either kidnapped or did something to Khan's crew that caused him to surrender. That's his weakness. It's not power or vengeance; it's the love he has for his people. I had my suspicious that was it, but I wasn't sure."

"Your father?" Spock Prime questioned, mimicking the same move as the other seated before her. "Are you saying you are not from this time?"

Charlie swallowed visibly and stepped closer to Spock's chair as she faced the elder Vulcan. She glanced at the younger Spock, wondering if she was permitted to answer the ambassador. He dipped his head and she glanced back at the screen. "I am, Sir. I was born in the 20th century, but I was brought here a little over a year ago."

The elder Spock sat forward and asked, "What is your name, child?"

"Charlotte Noland."

"Noland? Fascinating. And you now serve onboard the Enterprise?"

"Only as an acting ensign, Ambassador," she answered. "I don't know if you heard, but Starfleet headquarters was attacked. A man who was very close to me died there. Jim— I mean Captain Kirk gave me permission to serve on this mission for my own . . . closure."

A spark of humor flashed as Charlie stumbled over the proper way to address Jim, and Charlie knew that Spock Prime was aware of the nature of their relationship. "I see," he said, a smile tugging at his lips before he sobered. "Be careful that you do not follow the path of revenge, child," he warned. "Powerful emotion can be a valuable tool, but it can also be a terrible weapon. Do not lose sight of the true nature of your reason for being here; the needs of the many—"

"Outweigh the needs of the few," she finished, noting the shock in the elder Spock.

"Or the one," he responded.

"Or the one. I will remember that, Sir. Thank you for the advice." She stepped back, allowing the younger Spock to finish the conversation although she noticed the way his eyes followed her, and she knew that he would not let her be in the near future. Good thing she was a stubborn as an ox, because she had a feeling she was in for a hell of an interrogation by the Vulcan.

"Thank you, Mr. Spock, for your words of wisdom," the commander acknowledged.

"Be careful, Commander," Spock Prime advised. "Great sacrifices were made with Khan, sacrifices that could have been avoided. Do not make the same mistakes."

Spock nodded and the transmission ended, the screen once again overlooking a sea of darkness.

Rising from his chair, Spock gestured for Charlie who stepped closer to the Vulcan, surprised she was singled out. "I understand you do not wish to explain what you know about Khan and how you know it," he began, raising a hand as she opened her mouth to object. "But I believe it is prudent you explain what you know to better aid the captain and Mr. Scott on Admiral Marcus's ship. Are they walking into a trap?"

Charlie sighed, reaching up to rub her forehead and she brushed her bangs off her face. "That . . . I don't know. They very well could be and truthfully it wouldn't surprise me if they do."

Spock nodded as if he too considered the same thing. Then his head tilted as he considered the next dilemma. "How do you know so much about Spock Prime? Most know nothing of his existence, yet you called him Ambassador. And you are aware one of our mantras; something I have only shared with the command crew."

Charlie sucked the air in between her teeth, her lip following. "I can't tell you that, Commander."

"I order you to."

Charlie glared, her spine straightening by the low-balled tactic the Vulcan just used. She didn't think he would stoop to such a feat to pull the truth from her, and she'd be damned if she let him get away with it. "I'm sorry, Commander, but no. I cannot give away my source, no matter what you order of me." Spock almost appeared shocked by her blatant disregard of his order.

"Ensign Noland, are you ignoring a direct command from me?"

She lifted her chin, knowing what Spock was implying but also understanding that she had no choice. "Yes, and I understand if you must arrest me for insubordination. I will gladly take whatever punishment is due."

Spock just stared at Charlie, no hint of what transpired behind his dark eyes shone through. "No court martial will be necessary. What I asked of you was a breach of my command. However, if this crisis escalates or we come in contact with more like Khan, I may have no choice. You will tell me everything or I will have you off this ship, and be warned, I've done it before."

"I understand, Commander," Charlie said. "Let's hope it doesn't come to that."

"Indeed. If you would follow me." Spock gestured for McCoy as he hurried over to Uhura. "Lieutenant, I need you to assemble all senior medical and engineering staff in the weapons bay."

There was clearly a question behind her eyes, but Uhura nodded, "Alright."

As she headed off to complete her task, Spock spun towards Charlie and Bones. "Ensign Noland, we may need your assistance on this. Dr. McCoy, you inadvertently activated a torpedo, could you replicate the process?"

McCoy scoffed at the idea. "Why the hell would I want to do that?"

"Can you or can you not?" he persisted.

"Dammit, man. I'm a doctor, not a torpedo technician," McCoy growled.

"The fact that you're a doctor is precisely why I need you to listen very carefully."

"This is insane. That pointy-eared bastard has lost his mind," Doctor McCoy grumbled for the sixth time as he, Charlie, and about fifty other crewmembers from engineering, medical, and the armory worked to dismantle seventy-two torpedoes in the weapons bay, shuttling the now freely emerged cryotubes to sickbay while others reassembled the missiles.

"I think his plan is actually quiet genius," Charlie remarked, using the pneumatic screwdriver an engineer handed her to remove all the hardware on the torpedo she was working on. "It's a new twist on the whole Trojan horse thing."

The Doctor scoffed as his tricorder continually beeped in his hands, ensuring that the frozen men and women slumbering away stayed that way. "I don't think Khan is stupid enough to fall for it."

"You'd be surprised how arrogance for one's own intelligence makes them ignorant of the obvious."

"Talking from experience?" McCoy quipped.

Charlie just rolled her eyes and began pulling apart the pieces of the missile, setting them next to her in a pile. "You could say that."

Her mind kept going over her and Jim's conversation over the last twenty-four hours, each interaction growing Charlie's frustration. She had thought that being back aboard the Enterprise, this time as one of the one of the crewmembers, would heal the hallowed feeling that had been inside her since she entered the interrogation room with Marcus all those weeks ago. Instead, it had just caused that feeling to grow, until it nearly consumed her. To make matters worse, the discontentment decided to rage now that there was a pause in all the dramatics, and Charlie had time to think about the last few hours instead of concerned she was going to be alive in the next few minutes.

She and McCoy worked in silence, Charlie grunting now and then when a piece of the missile became was stuck. At one point, her frustration rearing its ugly head, she slammed her hand down on the weapon trying to dislodge a rather stubborn section.

"You okay there, Spitfire?" McCoy questioned.

A puff of breath exhaled in a rush, the sweaty hair of her bangs flying up and out of her eyes. She thought about blowing him off and telling him she was fine like she always did. That she was just wrestling with an obstinate hunk of metal and plastering a fake smile on her face as she made a joke. But Charlie was coming to the realization that that was not the case, and lying to doctor might actually do more harm than the extra few minutes of peace would do good.

"I have no idea, Doc," she admitted, turning her head away as she worked on the opposite end of the warhead. "My mind is in a million places right now."

"What's going on?" McCoy paused in his readings, his attention focused solely on her.

Not knowing how else to bridge the awkward silence that began to grow, she said, "Jim is taking Pike's death hard, we both are. I can't tell what he's thinking anymore."

"I can never tell what that kid's thinkin'," McCoy guffawed, turning back to his tricorder.

She pointed a glare at the doctor. "I'm just kind of lost, McCoy. I thought I had it figured out. I had a plan, a path that was going to bring me back here, and now everything has been shot to shit."

"We all go through this, Charlie," McCoy tried, glancing up from his readings. "None of us every really know what we're supposed to be doing."

"Jim does."

"He thinks he does, but that kid uses his ridiculous good luck and quick thinking to pull him out of these situations. There hasn't been much he's done he's thought through beforehand."

Charlie sighed, ripping off a piece and throwing it aside. "Sometimes I feel like he's playing the same game with our relationship; that he doesn't really have a plan."

"Do you?"

She reflected on that though a moment. "Yeah, sort of," she muttered, whipping a gloved hand across her sweaty brow as she leaned against the torpedo. "I want Starfleet. I want this life, but how can I have this and Jim too? If this is how it's going to be, I don't know how we will survive."

"That's a bit pessimistic."

Charlie's brows rose, and she turned her skeptical attention to the working doctor. "Pessimistic? This coming from the man whose second language is grumbling and who hates anything happy."

"I don't hate anything happy," McCoy disputed. "Just the annoying things. Bourbon makes me happy. You don't see me hating it."

"Whether it's pessimistic or not," Charlie continued, ignoring McCoy and getting back to work. She still had another five torpedoes to do to finish in time. "It's the truth. Jim and I aren't working together the way we did. I don't know if it's the stress of this mission, or what happened with Pike, but it's different, Len. He's not . . . he's not as open as before."

"He's focused," McCoy reasoned, moving to the next cryotube. "Listen, and I mean this in all seriousness, give him a break. He's dealing with a lot on his plate. Sometimes you're the driver, and sometimes you're along for the ride. Just enjoy the ride, Charlie."

The piece of metal she was tugging on finally gave way, and like an epiphany, Charlie realized that similar to the portion of the missile pulled from the cryotube, so too did she pull apart why she felt lost. She expected Jim to redeem himself for leaving her behind. He was her savior, her rock. He was supposed to have protected her, whether her pride admitted to it or not, and the fact that he didn't caused a seed of resentment to grow.

Her fingers clenched around the metal, the sharp edges digging into the skin through the glove. With a practiced breath, Charlie relaxed her hand as she attempted to placate her mind. Jim abandoned her because he had no choice. He couldn't give up everything he had worked so hard for just to protect her. It wasn't his fault that she had Marcus to deal with, it wasn't his fault that Pike died, and it certainly wasn't his fault that she was left adrift without any clear direction.

She had to forgive him, not just for his sake, but hers. Their life was never going to be easy, and she had to accept that there were times Jim was going to have to make tough decisions. If she couldn't support him in those moments, then she didn't deserve him any other time.

"You're right, McCoy," she admitted, setting aside the metal as she began work on the next torpedo. "I blame him for abandoning me. I need to work on that."

McCoy stopped again, this time he came right over and stood on the opposite side of the torpedo. With a jerk, her grabbed the screwdriver out of her hand, gaining her attention.

"Hey!" she exclaimed, reaching across to try to grab the tool. "Give that back!"

"He never abandoned you, Spitfire," McCoy reasoned, holding it away from her. "He did everything he could to bypass those orders, but with a direct, specific command he couldn't say no. Even for you."

"The rational part of me understands that, McCoy," Charlie huffed, her arms dropping onto the metal. "Trust me, if you grew up the way I did, you'd understand the significance of a direct order, but it doesn't stop me from thinking that why, when he's so good about getting his way, did he not try harder for me? Why did he let a 'no-win scenario' happen? Why did he let me go?" Unintentionally tears rose in her eyes, and she growled as she brushed them away. She was angry at herself for that weakness, of the idea that she needed someone to save her because she couldn't do it herself.

"I get that, Charlie," McCoy agreed after he weighed the thought. "I'd like to think that our friendship is important enough he'd take the necessary steps like he did with Spock, but what keeps me in check is remembering he's a captain. His decisions affect you, me, this crew and potentially the entire Federation. It's not just about us, and that is what he has to remember."

Charlie heaved a sigh, snatching the offered screwdriver back out of McCoy's hands as she moved onto the next torpedo while McCoy followed. "I know he's the captain, and I know he has all these lives to think of. I guess after having his attention on me when . . . when Sagan happened, I got a little—"

"Spoiled?" McCoy tried.

"Yeah," she nodded. "I told you. I have some things to work on. I love Jim, I really do and I will do everything I can to make him happy. I just need to work on me too, and what I mean for him and this ship."

McCoy stopped, his hand hovering above the next frozen member of Khan's crew and gave Charlie a rare smile. "I knew you'd figure it out," he said. "I'm just glad you aren't as thick as the other half of you."

Charlie rolled her eyes, but grinned nonetheless. Nudging her shoulder into McCoy's side, she drawled, "Yes, alright, you're a genius oh relationship guru, now can we get back to work? I'd rather not set this weapon of mass destruction off before its scheduled appointment."

McCoy chuckled as they worked quickly to finish Spock's clever plan. Charlie only hoped that they wouldn't have to use it.

leave a contribution the little box