Again, I own nothing.
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After I'm dressed for school in my navy blue uniform, I begin the hike from my house to school. I hope I don't encounter any of my classmates. I rather enjoy their presence at school, but outside of the classroom it is just awkward for everyone. I really don't fit in with the rest of them.
I'm lucky. I make it to school with no interruptions. I take my seat; second row, third chair, next to Otto Lammermier. I've forgotten to put my books down again. They're still in my lap. I quickly put them under my seat before Herr Sonnenstich enters. I'm surprised Otto is here already.
"Good morning," I say to him. He barely looks up from his hands.
"'Morning," he mumbles in reply.
I smile at him a bit, but he can't see me. I turn in my seat as Georg Zirchnitz enters. He and Otto are close friends. Occasionally I forget which is which, but I remember that Otto has the curls. I smile, greeting Georg. He waves a little and sits next to Otto. They immediately start chatting, but I pay no attention.
Again, the door opens. Melchior Gabor walks in, head held high, and right behind him is Moritz Stiefel. I have always wondered why the two were such good friends. Moritz is Melchior's complete opposite. Close following Melchior and Moritz is Hanschen Rilow.
I wave to Moritz as he takes his place in front of me. He smiles meekly.
"Good morning, Melchior." He and I always get along fairly well. Sometimes I feel like he isn't fond of me, and only talks to me to keep me content.
"Ernst." He nods and smiles. I grin. No coldness today.
I look at Hanschen. He intimidates me. Well… A lot of people intimidate me, but Hanschen is the best at it. I smile a little. He ignores me and takes his seat beside Melchior, in front of Georg. I frown slightly.
Herr Sonnenstich, our Latin teacher, enters. Everyone automatically straightens in their seats, even the rebellious Melchior. Herr Sonnenstich begins his lesson.
Soon, my thoughts drift. I feel my eyes begin to unfocus, but I cannot pay attention. Herr Sonnenstich's voice is just white noise to me.
I think of Moritz and how he struggles with his studies, like myself.
I think of Otto and Georg, and how I don't know much about them except they are always looking at girls. I shake my head just a little.
I think of Hanschen and how he reminds me of Sissy's horses. Strong, powerful, intimidating.
I think of Melchior and how he rocks the boat with everything he says and does. Every little movement is done to irritate the teachers, the pastors, his elders. People who deserve respect.
"Herr Robel!"
Hearing my name breaks me out of my daydreams. I feel myself standing.
"Yes, Herr Sonnenstich?" I look resolutely ahead, willing my fear not to show.
"Is there something you would like to share with the class, Herr Robel?"
I blink, confused. I feel my cheeks begin to flush with color. I stay silent.
"Herr Robel. Clearly whatever is floating around in that head of yours is ten times more interesting than my lesson. So, tell me. What has you so captivated?"
By now my gaze has lowered to Moritz's head. I cannot lift my eyes. I blush deeper, flustered.
"Nothing, Herr Sonnenstich," I manage to mumble.
"Then sit, and pay attention, Herr Robel."
I obey, and without looking up, I resume the Latin we are learning. After a few verses, I look up slightly. Every one of the boys are stealing glances at me. If I could blush any deeper, I would. My eyes drift to Melchior. He is glaring at Herr Sonnenstich, all Latin forgotten. I glance at Hanschen. He's staring at me, eyebrows furrowed in contemplation. When he realized I've caught him looking, he swiftly returns to his Latin.
I look down again, confused. Why is he watching me now? This morning he paid no attention to me at all.
Herr Sonnenstich slaps his switch against Georg's desk. We all flinch, even Melchior, though he tries to hide it by scratching his leg.
"Turn in your verses, gentlemen, and I shall see you next week."
I blow on my slate, which doesn't have nearly enough writing on it. I add it to Herr Sonnenstich's pile and return to my seat, gathering my belongings.
The boys are quiet until Herr Sonnenstich exits, and then chatter breaks out. Hanschen leaves before I can say goodbye.
Melchior approaches me, a strange gleam in his eyes.
"Ernst."
"Hello, Melchior." I make the mistake of looking into his eyes. I quickly look at his feet again. "H-how are you today?" I stutter. I curse my formality. I want to be Melchior's friend, not just his acquaintance.
"Excellent, thank you," he answers.
Wait, he's being formal as well. Is the coldness back? I can't force myself to look him in the eyes to be sure. He's speaking again.
"Would you like to come with me today? I need to stop at the market for Mama."
I hesitate. An afternoon alone with Melchior Gabor… Such a tempting offer, and I don't even know why. I look at the schoolbooks in my hand, knowing there is much to be done.
"Well…" I begin. Do I really want to refuse?
"If you don't want to come, that's fine. I'll ask Moritz. Or I'll go alone."
I think for just a moment. Without raising my head, I ask if we can go later in the evening. He agrees on that and I hear the smile in his voice. He touches my arm to say goodbye and I flinch, startled. He leaves.
The other boys tell me goodbye in mumbled voices, and I wave to them all as usual. Blinking, I wonder what I just agreed to do.