"I don't believe there is any uncomplicated love in this world."

- Yoon Seul (Secret Garden) -

"Ryder kissed me." Marley admitted, feeling a wave of relief flow through her as if her shoulders were now free from carrying a weight since a few days ago. As she thought about how Jake's smile faltered only slightly, she decided she needed to continue. After all, it wasn't as if Ryder was the only one who had taken part in the kiss. "And I let him."

If Jake had told her the same story with Kitty as the subject, Marley would have been devastated. She'd have cried for weeks, blubbering to her mom and Unique about how much she hated how much she still loved him. The thought alone made her want to cry but Marley shook the thought from her head before it could consume her. Jake was the one with the right to be upset. He was the victim.

With a few shakes of his head, he was racing towards the door. As much as Marley tried to get him to stay, he was gone. She imagined he'd be gone for a lot longer than she was used to. The longest fight they'd had had really only lasted a few hours when she had caught him looking at the butt of her rival, Kitty. But after about an hour she was right back where he wanted her: wrapped around his little finger.

It wasn't that Marley didn't see his faults. When he got mad, he could be as scary as the Hulk. But to her, he was perfect. Besides, judging him on his faults would never be fair seeing as compared to hers, they were almost nonexistent. Anger was a normal emotion. Marley's sometimes very noticeable weight gain was a problem. And that was the difference between her and Jake that mattered to her. Everything else was perfect.

Ryder on the other didn't seem real. He was too perfect, too clean, and way too nice. As far as she could see he had no flaws and that was a problem. How could she rely on him to be an honest boyfriend if he lived his life as if it were a lie? There was absolutely no way he could be living as perfect a life as he was putting on. There was no way. And that fact alone is what made her cringe sometimes when she thought of dating him.

But the way he tasted and those abs and that-

No, she told herself before her thoughts drifted too much. Jake was perfect for her. They were both flawed, both experienced enough in heartbreak to know not to hurt each other, to know how much they could hurt each other.

She'd even convinced herself long ago that if he were to break up with her she wouldn't be able to think of herself in any way but gross. The thought alone was enough to drive her to purge. If Jake didn't like her, then who would? And if something tragic happened and he ended up dead, she wouldn't be able to go on. Death would be the only answer. Crazy, she knew. But it was the truth because without Jake she was nothing.

"Hey uh Marley?" A boy's voice sounded throughout the room. Marley wanted to roll her eyes but he sounded so nervous that she couldn't. He was another boy she knew she couldn't hurt. "Can I- can I just talk to you for a sec?"

As much as she wanted to say no because the longer she spent with him, the less time she'd have for Jake, she nodded her head and sat back down. The clay on her hands was making it difficult to really function but she motioned for him to sit in the stool next to her. As he did, she wondered if she imagined the feel of his hands accurately. She wondered if he really would have kissed her like she imagined he would have.

That was an entirely different thing that made Marley nervous. Jake was predictable. She always knew when he wanted her to kiss him and when he only wanted her to hold his hand. Ryder was different. He took chances and risks, never allowing himself to be predicted. Marley wasn't sure if it made him attractive or not, so she tried, instead, to focus on his words.

"I just want to say I'm sorry about what I did." Ryder started, pausing to, what seemed like, judge her reaction. Marley couldn't tell though because like previously stated, Ryder was unpredictable and dangerous. Her eyes fluttered towards his face and she was sure she looked confident, but with his next words she reconsidered. "Do you… do you want me to be sorry?"

Marley sighed and ran her hand through her hair without thinking. The clay stuck to it like glue on paper and instantly she felt like an idiot. It was as if every ounce of her mother's intelligence skipped Marley and left her without a brain. "I want you to go back in time and undo it."

Ryder's eyes shut for a few brief seconds and he looked absolutely crushed. It seemed to Marley that he was waiting for her to tell him not to be sorry, that he was waiting for her to ask him to do it again. But she didn't ask him in the first place. He just took advantage of her kindness and that's inexcusable. Marley didn't want someone who took advantage of her emotions like that.

But he looked so sad and lost without her and that feeling in her stomach just-

No. She repeated in her head until she was able to focus on Ryder again without wondering what his lips tasted like now. Back stage of Grease they had been soft and comforting but yesterday they had been forceful and demanding. Ryder had passion.

But Jake was comfortable and Marley needed stability not passion.

"I don't really know what I was-." Ryder started until Marley cut him off quickly. She wasn't sure why but the more he talked, the more she seemed to want to stop him by kissing him. At least now by interrupting with words she wouldn't be cheating on Jake more than she already has.

"Ryder, stop." Marley demanded, standing up as she heard Ryder suck in a breath. "What you did sucks and I want to hate you for it but I don't and that's maybe the most frustrating part of this situation."

"I'd totally understand if you hate me." Ryder mumbled, his shoulders slumping slightly as if he were completely defeated. "I just got caught up in the moment and I swear it won't happen again and about Jake-."

"He knows." She interrupted once more and just like before, Ryder's shoulders slumped and an almost disappointed frown overtook his features. Why did she feel so guilty? Why did his feelings appear to matter more than hers did? Maybe Marley really was selfless.

Somehow that assumption didn't seem practical to her anymore. Sure, maybe there was a time when she was selfless but after the recent events that took place, she couldn't be sure. She hurt Ryder without even knowing it. She strung him along and now she was crushing him. And Jake was devastated somewhere in the hallway and she didn't want him to break up with her, although he deserved better. Selfless didn't belong in the same sentence as her name.

"Does he hate me?" Ryder asked, looking up finally. Marley searched his eyes for something other than disappointment but she was left upset with her findings. He looked as if she told him he had cancer and only had a few days to live. How did she even have that effect on him?

She shrugged her shoulders and in response he offered her a nod. It was a halfhearted nod but she'd take it if it was all he wanted to give her right now. With a tiny dejected wave he left the room, leaving her to her thoughts. Between trying to fathom how everything got to be so complicated and trying to figure out how Ryder was able to smell that good, she was left with a headache that she knew wasn't going to be easy to get rid of.

X X X

Before I piss off any Jarley fans, this is not going to be a Jarley fic. It will be somewhat centered around Jarley but it is a Ryley fic. I just think that needs to be said before I get more angry PMs. That being said, Jarley WILL play a major part in this story. If you think you won't like it, then I'm sorry but you don't have to read it.

Thank you for being awesome. :) REVIEW please!