Disclaimer: See Chapter 1

Chapter 13 Truth

After buying dinner and settling in at the motel Sam packed the new supplies away while Dean got dinner ready. After Dinner, Dean made rock salt rounds for the shotguns at the table while Sam surfed the net for a job. While Dean was working he thought about what they had talked about in the car. He hoped Sam was going to stop having his bad dreams for him but it didn't make sense why he was having none at all. He also thought about what happened that morning in the other motel. He had been thinking about it off and on all day and his thoughts always lead to the same place.

The way his dad had raised him. To be the man while he was away. His eyes flicked to Sam who's face was lit up by the glow of the laptop. How come Sam could show some emotion and he couldn't? Must have been the time at Stanford mixing with "normal people." Or maybe Dean was just using it as an excuse to block his brother and hide from him his true feelings. Well that just sucked. He could die tomorrow and his brother would never know how much he loved him and that he would do anything for him. Sure he would put himself in front of Sam every time to protect him but it just wasn't the same was it?

When Dean had finished and packed the rounds away he made coffee for both of them and took Sam his cup. Sam was leaning on the headboard of his bed still looking for work. Dean moved the pillow next to Sam and sat next to his brother, his right arm rubbing against Sam's left lightly.
"Have you thought any more about something for Bobby?" said Dean.
"I have but I haven't found anything. You?"
" I think I have." Dean moved his right hand over Sam's left and moved Sam's fingers over the mouse pad to point at a bookmark Dean had made the previous night and pushed Sam's finger to click open the site.
"Charter Fishing?" said Sam, with a questioning look at his brother.
"Yep. Bobby loves to fish and he always wanted to go up to Lake Superior to fish. Always wanted to catch a big Chinook salmon. He even has a boat in his junkyard somewhere. But this is a package deal, four days with lodgings and they take you out to different parts of the lake for different fish every day. Look, Lake Trout, Coho Salmon, Rainbow Trout, Brown Trout or Chinook salmon. All he would have to do is turn up and have fun, everything's provided."

Sam noticed Dean was still using Sam's hand to point to the screen.
"I know Bobby has all the fishing magazines around. I always thought they looked kind of odd next to the occult books but do you really think this would be what he would like?"
"I'd take it to the bank. He'd love it."
"Okay, what do we do?"
"Well, we order the package in Bobby's name like this." Dean moved Sam's hand to the ordering section. "And because it's a gift we have the voucher sent to Bobby in a gift basket so he knows it's the real deal not us having a joke with him."
"Good idea." Sam was surprised at Dean having put this much thought into the gift.
"What looks good?"

They spent several minutes looking at gift baskets before picking one. They wanted to get one Bobby would use but not go to outlandish or Bobby would think it was a joke.
Once they had the order sorted they had to figure out what to put on the card. They settled on: "Thanks Bobby for being there in our time of need: Please enjoy some time off on us – Sam and Dean"
"Does that look okay to you?" said Dean.
"It should read Dean and Sam but that looks great," said Sam ", I can't believe you found this. I was thinking you were looking at porn."
"Ha," chucked Dean, "normally you would be right but I didn't want to leave this to long. Things tend to get forgotten when we get back to work."
"Yeah, you're right about that. So are we done?"
"Yep, all that's left is to pay for this sucker." Dean pulled a credit card out of his wallet, one Sam had never seen before.
"How old is that card? We had better not get Bobby in trouble." Sam groaned.
"Hold your horses Sammy. Tthis is an honest account I set up with my fake ID. Its got money in it I earned hustling pool and cards."
"What a real credit card?"
"Well it's a Visa debit card but it's an honest card. Bobby won't get in trouble with this. The transaction will go through without a problem."

Sam was quiet and thoughtful as Dean used his fingers to type in the numbers from the card to complete the transaction. The transaction went through and a page came up with the receipt number and details saying the basket would be delivered between three to four days and the recipient had six months to give them a call and book the trip for whenever he would like. Dean used Sam's fingers to save the page on the desktop so they had a record of the transaction.

Sam turned to look at Dean. "So what's the deal with this card." He snagged the credit card off the laptop.
"I wanted a real card for emergencies".
"So how much is in it?"
"Don't worry there's more than enough to cover the gift."
"Dean, that's not what I mean. How much is in there?"

Dean looked down suddenly embarrassed. "Ah, about ten grand."
"Ten grand! Dean what the hell kind of emergency do you need 10 grand for?"
"In case you want to …."
"What Dean, want to what?"
"Go back to school," said Dean quietly.
"How long have you had this set up?" Sam didn't recognize the name on the card which was nothing new but he had never seen an ID with this name on it either.
"It started as a savings account when you were sixteen then I changed it to the debit account about twelve months ago."
Dean found himself being honest about this even though he didn't really want Sam to know. He found it impossible to lie to him about this. Maybe it ws because the money was always earmarked for Sam. He had never really considered it his but never had a problem adding to it when he could.
"Why did you start the account? Did dad know about it?"
Sam knew their dad was never one for saving money for any length of time and he had never taught his kids to. Sam was wondering how Dean put this together.
"No, dad never knew about. "Dean laughed. "He would have knocked me out if he had known."
"Why would he have knocked you out, Dean?" Sam was the reverse of Dean, serious and quiet.

Dean stopped laughing and looked down again. Sam put his hand softly under Dean's chin and lifted his brother's head until he was looking at Deans eyes. "Why Dean?"
Dean frowned at Sam and said quietly. "The money was for you Sam, to go away to school."
"What do mean?"
"Remember when I drove you to Stanford for your interview to get in? Well dad didn't pay for the gas or motel rooms like I told you." Deans voice was almost a whisper.
"You paid? Why?"
"Because it was what you wanted."
"I thought you hated me going away to school."
"I did but it's what you wanted so that's all that mattered."
"Wait. Did you say you started this account when I was sixteen?"
"Yeah, that's when I knew you would be going away to school."
"Wait Dean, I didn't know I would be going away to school then."
"I think you did deep down, Sam. Dad and I had some pretty decent fights around that time." 'Damn mouths got a life of its own now' , thought Dean wildly.
"What about me going away to school?"
"Mainly about you staying in the same school for a while so you could do your SATS and get ready for your entrance exam."
"I can't remember many fights between you and dad."
"I tried to keep it to when dad and I were alone on a hunt and you were back at the motel studying."
"It makes sense now. You were always interested in my school work and dad never asked but he always knew when to leave me behind to study for a test. I thought I was just lucky."
"No ones that lucky, Sammy."

Sam held the credit card between his fingers. "So the money you gave me when you dropped me at Stanford?"
"From that account." Dean nodded.
"Dean, you told me that was from dad!"
"Would you have taken it from me?"
Sam hesitated. "I don't know. What about the times you visited Stanford and gave me money?"
Dean looked down again.
"Dean, you made me believe dad cared about me enough to give me money. I thought he was doing it because he had to look like he was helping me even though he told me never to come back."
"You know dad. He would have spent the money on ammo." Dean joked.
"I can't believe you did that for me Dean. Man, what can I say?"
"You're an awesome brother? " Dean joked.
"But you've always been an awesome brother Dean."

And Sam swept Dean up it a huge hug and Dean felt himself hugging Sam back purely because he was happy the conversation had ended. Then he remembered what he was thinking about while he was packing salt rounds and put more effort into the hug even rubbing a hand roughly up Sam's back. Sam's eyes lit up with the extra affection Dean had showed him and he rubbed a hand down Dean's back. When Sam let him go Dean took the credit card back and put it back in his wallet. He took the coffee cups to the sink to clean up and get ready for bed.

Dean was relived Sam wasn't mad at him for telling him the truth about what had happened back then and where the money had come from. That part of Dean's life had not been a bed of roses by any stretch of the imagination. Dean could remember all the times he came back to the motels from hustling pool or cards and gave his dad less money than he had won so he could squirrel some of it away for Sam. He hated not giving his dad all the money he had but he was doing it for Sam. And the fights they had! Dean was sure he was going to be belted a few times for sticking up for his brother. And to top it off Sam would go crazy at Dean if they had to move schools again like it was Dean's fault.

Dean was glad those days were well behind him. Dean wanted them locked away in the cupboard in his brain where he hid all those horrible memories. He wasn't happy about sharing some of the past with Sam like he had but at least Sam had been happy to leave it there and not press for anything else. Deans resolve to leave this stuff in the cupboard was wavering at the moment and he worried Sam was able to get things out of him he was bent on keeping hidden.

Later that night Sam stared up at the ceiling thinking about what Dean had told him earlier. He could remember fighting with his dad a fair bit before he went off to university but couldn't remember John and Dean fighting much at all. It seems they had done it while they were away to save him from hearing it. Sam knew that Dean had not gone to university so he could look after Sam while their dad was away but he never really understood the immensity of the sacrifice until now. Even now he didn't fully understand it. Sam could remember studying for his SATS. Dean would appear now and again to ask how things were going, and if he needed anything. But he could also remember his dad being absent most of the time and when he was there, leaving Sam alone and doing his best to ignore him. When he wanted to go away to school he had some pretty good screaming matches with his father. His dad had been close to smacking him more than once he was sure. Sam suddenly wondered if all the bruises Dean came back with after a hunt were from the hunt. Sam drifted of to sleep wondering how many times Dean had saved his skin that he didn't know about.

TBC