"A man is already halfway in love with any woman who listens to him."
- Brendan Francis –
She sat at his kitchen table playing absently with the napkin that was resting in front of her. She and Jake had planned on going to a movie this afternoon but those plans fell through when Jake received some bad, devastating news. Of course, it wasn't as devastating as he was making it out to be. No one died. No one was sick. No one knocked on the door claiming to be his long lost relative of sorts.
But it was still enough to make him upset so it was enough to make her want to listen.
"I just can't believe that Puck is going out with that bitch, though." Jake muttered and Marley could have sworn it was the fifteenth time he had mentioned that to her. "Doesn't he know she's just my sloppy seconds?"
That was another thing that bothered Marley, not that missing the movie she'd been waiting to see bothered her that much. Since when was it ok to complain about who your exes moved on with? She was sure that Jake had no feelings for the blonde cheerleader but the thought was always in the back of her mind. Kitty was flawless. She was skinny and confident. Marley was insecure and constantly craving attention. Why would he want to be with her when Kitty would always be right there?
And now those thoughts were just confirmed because she was sure that he was more upset with the fact that Kitty was in a relationship than he was about Puck being the guy she was with.
"Everyone needs love." Marley offered quietly in a subtle attempt to make him realize he was still in the room. It didn't appear to be very subtle though.
He turned and narrowed his eyes in her direction. "Not Kitty. After everything she did to me? I can't believe you'd defend her."
Marley stopped playing with the napkin and looked up at him in disbelief. Had he not been there when Kitty convinced her she was fat? Wasn't he there when Marley passed out on stage in front of everyone because Kitty convinced her to push her fingers down her throat? And he had the right to ask if Marley knew when Kitty had done to him? Spreading a stupid rumor about his three nipples that nobody believed anyway?
But instead of screaming, she sighed and allowed herself to relax. He hadn't meant it that way. Plus, he was obviously upset which is something she could understand because she was upset a lot these days. "I'm not defending her."
"Sure fooled me." He grumbled, throwing one of their plates into the sink a few minutes later. Not surprisingly, it broke and Marley was both thankful and worried. The crash seemed to slice through the uncomfortable silence that had formed but there was still a fear resonating in Marley that made her uneasy. What if he tried to do what he did last week, only this time with a shard of glass instead of the palm of his hand?
No. She repeated in her head until she began to believe it. Jake wasn't like that; he never had been. It was a onetime thing and he apologized. Holding a grudge wasn't fair. Besides, now she knew better. She'd avoid his arms if they tried to strike her.
But they wouldn't because he loved her and he told her a countless number of times that he was sorry and that it wouldn't happen again. And she believed him.
X X X
"I just- I don't know what to do." Ryder grumbled some hours later. They were in his backyard getting ready for a party his mom was throwing for one of his cousins. According to him, he wasn't too excited to see the whole family but she could see a brightness in his eye every time he brought it up.
It sounded like he wanted her to offer a suggestion, to give her opinion so he could follow it, but earlier she had been yelled at for doing that very thing. Given, Ryder was more caring than Jake was, at least recently, but she didn't want to take the chance. She sighed as the thought entered her mind. Comparing the two boys had become a normal occurrence for her and it pained her deeply. Ryder was her friend. Jake was her boyfriend. That's how it was always going to be.
Ryder cleared his throat and she looked up at him. He was staring at her with his eyebrows raised slightly and a small smile on his face. "This is the part where you tell me what to do."
"But then how will you learn to make your own decisions?" Marley teased with a small smile of her own. She liked that he wanted to hear an opinion and that he wasn't afraid to ask for it. It made her feel special.
He rolled his eyes playfully as he put a bowl of chips on one of the tables. "But if you don't give me advice how will I know you were listening?"
"I think you should stop talking to her." Marley finally said as she smoothed one of the table cloths. Ryder stopped what he was doing and looked at her with a thoughtful expression on his face, practically begging her to explain the reasoning behind her opinion. "I mean, online dating is really dangerous, especially for teenagers."
"I'm not being stupid about it." Ryder mumbled and she could tell that he was somewhat insulted. She wished she never said anything. He was just going to freak out and she had seen enough of that today.
"I'm not saying you are." She continued, sighing when he appeared to want her to say something else. Even though everything in her being was telling her not to, she decided to elaborate. "I just- I mean, what if this girl turns out to be a 50 year old man? Or what if it's just a boy that messing with you?"
Ryder pulled a chair out from one of the tables and sat down. He was frowning but she imagined it was just because he was now thinking about something he didn't even want to imagine. It wasn't a lie when he said he wasn't stupid but that's only because he didn't want to think about the other possibilities. Ryder knew that, or so she thought he did.
"But what if it isn't?" Ryder asked as he finally looked up at her. His eyes were so full of life, so innocent, that Marley had to smile. "What if it's the girl of my dreams and the only thing standing in the way is my fear of her being a pedophile?"
For some reason as he said those words, her throat seemed to swell up and she couldn't help the frown that appeared on her face. "Isn't true love fate? Can't you just say that if you two are meant to be you'll meet and fall madly in love in person?"
Ryder seemed to think for a moment before he propped his elbows on the table and put his head in his hands. "She's the first girl I've met here that listens to me besides you."
She wanted to correct him and say that they didn't know if this mystery person was a girl but she resisted, choosing instead to sit down next to him and rub his back. "You'll find someone someday, Ry. But I think it's a bad idea to put all your eggs into this Katie girl's basket."
"That expression doesn't make sense to me. I don't even have eggs." Ryder grumbled as he continued to rest his head. She hated that he was hurting and what made it worse was the fact that he was hurting because of her. It wasn't a secret that the reason he seemed to want to move on quickly was because of what happened on Valentine's Day.
"Ryder! Why are you sitting?" His mother called from the porch. Marley looked up quickly and smiled as Ryder jumped out of his seat. "They're going to be here in under an hour."
"Sorry!" Ryder called back as he continued to put bowls of snacks on each table. Marley followed after him, helping to arrange them so they were perfectly in the center and not just thrown on without a thought. "You don't have to help. You can just sit if you want."
"But then how will I make sure you're doing this right?" Marley teased, trying to make the atmosphere as carefree as it was before she messed it up. He chuckled and she felt him watching her reach out to fix the bowl he had just placed.
"Hey, what happened to your wrist?" He asked suddenly, pointing to the purple and blue marks that were clearly visible.
X X X
"Jake! Let go of me!" She screamed, trying not to focus on the pain that was shooting through her arm. He didn't care though. Her screams seemed to only make him want to squeeze harder. She tried to jerk away from his grasp but he was much too strong for her. Somehow he had gotten over the Kitty and Puck situation and became fixated on something entirely different.
"Here I am thinking Kitty was a slut when it's been you this whole time." He yelled in return, positioning his hand under her chin so he could squeeze her cheeks. Tears escaped her eyes but still it wasn't enough to make him stop.
"He just needs help setting up." Marley justified even though she didn't see the point. It didn't appear that anything she had to say would make him stop, which was unfortunate for her. "Ryder and I are just friends!"
Forcefully he pushed her into the wall and grabbed her hands again. "He won't love you like a love you! He'll hump you and then dump you."
Even though Marley highly doubted that, she nodded her head in agreement and instantly felt a small amount of relief rush through her. He had stopped squeezing as hard. "I know that which is why we're just friends. I love you Jake."
He let go and she instantly looked down and grabbed her left wrist. They were both red and were both aching but she forced herself to look up. "I'm so sorry Marley. I just don't want you to leave me, especially for him."
"I won't." She whispered as she wrapped her arms around his neck. Resting her head on his shoulder, she continued. "I'll love you forever Jake."
And she truly thought she would because he was the first boy to ever love her for who she was. He obviously cared a lot about her if he got that upset over her hanging out with another boy.
He loved her and she loved him.
X X X
"Hey, what happened to your wrist?"
Marley looked down at the wrist that was showing and quickly moved to slide the arm of her sweatshirt down to cover it. After she was satisfied, she looked up at him with a small smile on her face. "I burned myself with my curling iron this morning."
Ryder looked unsatisfied. "That didn't look like a burn."
"You didn't see it well enough." She reasoned easily, shrugging her shoulders confidently even though he was still looking at her as if he knew she was lying.
"Then let me see it again."
"It's just a burn. Calm down."
"Your hair isn't even curly." He pressed, pointing to her hair. Instantly, she felt like an idiot because this morning she had straightened her hair for the first time in a while.
"I took a shower after."
"Marley, what really happened?" He asked, tilting his head to the side in the cutest way. But it wasn't cute. Not under these circumstances. Now it was just annoying.
"I told you." She assured him, turning around to fix a bowl on the table behind her. She heard him sigh but decided to ignore it.
"Why can't you just tell me the truth!?" He pleaded finally and she rolled her eyes at his dramatics.
"I did." She urged as she turned once more so she was facing him. With a quick shrug she muttered, "I have to go. I just forgot my mom wants me home by 5."
"It's 3:30."
"Yeah? Well, I have to go because you're annoying me." She admitted even though she was confident he already knew that's why she was leaving.
Without so much as a goodbye, she left his back yard and drove away. Why he thought that he had any right to know anything in her personal life was beyond her. And why he thought he could accuse her of lying also didn't make much sense to her. Friends didn't lie to each other and they certainly didn't call each other out on their lies.
Why couldn't he just see that?
X X X
I realize at this point, Marley is probably annoying you all because of how much she still seems to love Jake. I'm annoyed with her too. BUT we all know how I like to make things as realistic as possible so I asked my cousin (who was kind of in this type of relationship) and then I googled it.
So as annoyed as you might feel about Marley continually going back to Jake, it's actually what most girls/guys in abusive relationships do. They either convince themselves that it's done out of love, they're too scared to get out in case of retaliation OR they don't think they'll find someone else (like Bieste in Glee). But most of the time it's a mixture of the three.
WHICH is why this has tons more chapters to come. :)
Just thought I'd let you all know.
Love, Kaylie 3