"Broken trust and anger will close a heart until honesty and love is once again found."

- Unknown –

Marley scanned the halls between periods, trying to scope the halls for either boy. Her heart thudded as she saw one of them flirting with the usual blonde he could be seen hanging out with when he wasn't with Marley. She wondered if even when they had been dating, even though it wasn't too long ago, he'd always wanted to be with a blonde. He appeared to like them better than her.

In all honesty, though, she wasn't as nervous to see Jake as she was to see Ryder. Although he had helped her clean herself up, he didn't appear to want anything to do with after that. In fact, when she tried to call him on yesterday to see if he wanted to study with her, it went straight to voicemail every time.

And now? The Monday after the fact, she still hadn't heard from him. Sure, she said things and then he said things that maybe neither of them meant, but she thought their friendship meant more to him than this.

More than this seemingly stupid fight.

It was stupid to her but was it fair to say it was stupid in general? Maybe Ryder thought this was an important argument, one that he couldn't fathom ever getting over. Should she really stand in the way and act like it wasn't as big of a deal as he thought it was? She wasn't sure, but as she made her way into Mr. Schuester's class and saw him sitting there with his head in his hands, she seemingly forgot everything and smiled.

"Hey." She whispered as she passed him. He looked up from his book but quickly returned his focus to whatever it was he was reading about. As much as she wanted to think that maybe he was just really interested in what they were learning, she knew it was because he wasn't in the mood to talk to her. "I haven't talked to you all weekend."

Maybe if she broke the tension and referenced the problem right off the bat, he'd know she was sorry. But she didn't know what exactly she should have been sorry for. With a sigh, he glanced up from his book and turned around. "Have you told your mom yet?"

"Well, no but-."

"Have you told anyone?" He asked, much like he did last night in her foyer. As she sighed, she noticed him roll his eyes slightly. "You have to tell someone, at least your mom."

"I did. I told you." Her answer didn't seem to grant him any comfort but it was the only answer she knew was true. When he walked into her house, she could have lied again. Even he said she could have lied again. But she didn't because she trusted him.

Now looking back on it, she wasn't sure whether that was the case anymore. "I just don't want you to get any more hurt than you already are."

He didn't know the half of what he thought he did. And boy did he think he knew everything.

X X X

"It was never real." She whispered as a wave of tears escaped her eyes. Maybe it was her empty stomach or maybe it was because of the blood in her mouth, but without another thought she bent over to the side and threw up. Almost immediately, Ryder sat on the other side of her and pulled her into a tight hug, rubbing her back and making her feel a little bit better.

But that little bit was almost enough.

Again, time was lost on her because what felt like only seconds later but was really about an hour, he was standing up, helping her up along with him. "Let's get you cleaned up."

"My-my dog kind of went crazy and attacked me." She wasn't sure what made her open her mouth in the first place let alone spit out a lie. It was Ryder. Just Ryder. But as she limped towards the kitchen with his arms holding her up, she felt him judging her. She felt him slowly losing respect for her because she stayed with the boy who made her feel like complete and utter crap.

Who does that?

"Have you eaten?" His complete disregard for her previous statement made her slightly uneasy but still she shook her head as he lifted her up and set her down so she was sitting on the counter. As he nodded his head, he began scanning the countertops for something, but she wasn't sure what. "You like toast?"

"Not-."

"Well too bad. That's all I know how to make." He said with a small smile on his face even though she could see right through it. It was a mask, one he could typically be found sporting whenever he used to hang out with both Marley and Jake. After he crossed the kitchen and placed two pieces of bread into the toaster, he turned around and smirked at her. "Don't worry though. I'm a master chef."

Not being able to mutter a simple joke, she just nodded her head and tried her hardest to avoid eye contact. It wasn't hard. He didn't seem to want to make it either. She watched as he looked around again and picked up a washcloth. It was one her mother used to retrieve hot plates from the oven. She would have advised him to use a different one but he was already running it under cold water.

"Your dog, huh?" He asked as he stood in front of her. She didn't respond as she squeezed the countertop to prepare for him to press it against her eye. "Stop lying to me, Marls. What really happened?"

Scrunching her eyebrows she suddenly felt rage take over her being. Here she was in excruciating pain and he had the nerve to accuse her of lying? Again? When had their friendship become this? When did he stop trusting her?

"I'm not." She stated firmly, crossing her arms. What frustrated her the most wasn't even what he said; it was how he said it. It was as if he knew for a fact she was lying. He had absolutely no trust in her. And now instead of apologizing, he was looking at her arms. Why was he looking at her arms?

Before she could ask him, he looked up at her, this time being careful not to avoid eye contact. "Marley, you don't have a dog."

"Y-yeah I do. I just got hi-."

"Marley…" He interrupted softly, brushing some of her hair behind her ear. "You don't have to tell me but for Gods sake, stop lying to me."

Searching his eyes for some sign of judgment, she only came across nervousness. He was nervous? Why? She couldn't say. Did she look as nervous as he seemed to be? Shaking the thought from her head, she let out a small groan. "It was Jake."

"He did this?" Ryder asked carefully, his eyes scanning her slowly. It was a far calmer reaction than she had been expecting. Maybe Jake's theories had been right all along. Maybe he really didn't care about her as she thought he did. "How many times?"

"A few…"

"You let him do this more than once?" Ryder asked and although she knew he wanted an honest answer, she couldn't help but feel like the pure look of pain on his face meant she should lie. There she was again, hurting the people she cared about. "But why?"

She leaned backwards and rested her head on the wall. Why? Why had she let it get so out of hand? Why didn't she leave him sooner? The answers she had been supplying her mind continuously for the past few weeks somehow felt weak now. She had claimed he loved her. But that wasn't valid. She said that he was worth it. But was he? If all of that was true then why on earth couldn't she form a sentence to explain her reasoning? Why did she stay?

"He said he loved me." Marley answered finally sensing Ryder's impatience.

With a shake of his head, he grabbed a bag of frozen peas and wrapped them in another washcloth. Gently, he touched them to her face and she shut her eyes at the pressure. "Marley, do you remember when I told you that you deserved better than him?"

She regretted opening her eyes the moment she saw his brown ones staring into hers. "Yeah."

"Why don't you believe me?"

The question was simple and the way he asked it was sweet. But beyond the loving feeling she felt when his words entered her brain; the question posed a serious thought. Why on earth did she think that he was everything she needed? He hit her. He insulted her. He just kicked her. But she still felt unworthy of his love. Why was that.

As she thought about the answer, he seemed to grow impatient. "Well, have you told anyone? Your mom? Ms. Pillsbury?" She shook her head. How could she? Ryder was only her friend, someone she had just met this year and he was disappointed in her. How could she risk her mom finding out? She had already put her through hell with the eating disorder ordeal earlier in the school year. If she told her about Jake, there was no way her mom would ever trust her again. "I think you should."

"No."

"But Marls…" The boy was pleading, begging her to listen to him. She wondered why he cared so much if anyone else knew. Maybe this was his revenge. She picked Jake and now he was trying to make sure everyone around her knew how stupid she truly was.

"No, Ryder!" Her voice was sharp, piercing the calm atmosphere the two had created. "I'm not telling everyone so they can judge me again."

"They can help."

She wanted to believe him, to trust that what he was saying was real and honest. But it wasn't. The world was cold. It was cruel. Nobody was going to help her. They were going to judge her and make her feel like crap so maybe they could feel better about the good-for-nothing lives they were living. They'd compare themselves to her in order to make themselves feel better. She knew that and it was time Ryder did too. "Maybe you're too stupid to understand, but nobody is going to help me."

He opened his mouth to protest, or so she thought he was going to, but almost as quickly as he opened it, he shut it. Staring at her carefully, he removed the frozen peas from her eye and put it down on the counter. "I'm helping you, aren't I?"

"You're not important." She quipped, only registering what she said after she saw his face drop. With a sigh she ran one of her hands through her hair. "Ry, that's not what I-."

Backing up, he shook his head and licked his lips. "I think you should tell your mom when she gets home but I gotta go. I have to do that homework for Mr. Schue."

"Ryder, wait."

"No, no. It's cool."

She watched him grab his backpack from the ground by the stairs and walk out of the house. Her heart broke all over again and she couldn't stop the rush of tears that escaped her eyes. Why was she pushing him away? Why did she let him leave? They didn't even have homework for Mr. Schuester's class.

With a groan, she threw her head back, cringing as it hit the wall behind her with a bang. Quickly, she grabbed the peas and placed them on the back of her head. What had she done to deserve this life?

X X X

Now looking back on it, she wasn't sure whether that was the case anymore. "I just don't want you to get any more hurt than you already are."

He didn't know the half of what he thought he did. And boy did he think he knew everything.

"Ryder, it's just- it's complicated. You know?"

"Right…" He nodded his head and licked his lips again. It wasn't the right time or place but she couldn't help but want her to kiss him with those lips… again. Shaking her head of the thought, she refocused her attention on what those lips were saying. "I'm too stupid to understand. Yeah, you already told me that."

"No, Ryder that's not what I-"

Shaking his head, he turned so he was facing the board again. Although he wasn't facing her, she could still hear him whisper, "It's exactly what you meant."

She didn't have the energy nor was it the time or place to respond so she opened her binder and started doodling. Later, when they were studying in the library during free period, she'd talk to him again. She'd make him see that telling people would just cause more harm than anything. It would be her goal to make him trust her again.

They could go back in time to when things were easy. It wouldn't be hard. She just had to get him to trust her. That's exactly what she'd do.

X X X

So there's chapter 8. I'm so sorry that there was such a long delay. Two weeks actually. I've just been really busy and I'm trying to keep my other story on schedule and it's just a little bit of a hard time for me recently. So I apologize and I hope you forgive me.

I can no longer update this story twice a week like I was doing before. I'm getting too busy with school so instead of Wednesdays and Saturdays, I'm just going to update on Saturday, skipping this week to move into school. So you can expect another update on August 31.

Again, I'm really sorry.

Love, Kaylie