Chapter 26 Key

After an hour of reading to Dean, Sam noticed Dean's fidgets had subsided and he lay very still in his arms. When Sam looked down he expected to find Dean asleep, the only way he could imagine him being this still, but Dean was awake his eyes were open. He had a look of quiet contemplation on his face. Like he was listening to something really important or something so engaging he had no choice but to be still and listen.

Sam had seen the look before he realized, but not for a long time. When he was young he loved to read and Dean was the one who he went to when he wanted to read and learn new words. Their dad couldn't do it for more than a few minutes at a time; he would become bored and pass him to his brother. Dean had taught Sam to love and read books, even though he showed no real interest himself. How had Dean learned to read so that he could help Sam? He would have had no help, unlike Sam had.

Dean felt Sam looking at him and looked up a small smile on his lips. "What's got the cogs turning Sammy?"
"How did you learn to read Dean?"
"What? Way to bury the lead. School like everyone else."
"Did dad ever help you with it?"
"Mom started me off but after the fire it was school I think. Why?"
"I just remember you helping me with my reading a lot when we were growin' up and I got to thinking you must have learned enough to help me. How did you do it Dean?"
"Detention."
"Detention?"
"When you get detention you have to read to the teacher. I got detention in a lot of schools." Deans voice was soft and raspy.
"How did you get detention Dean?"
"It wasn't hard Sammy, they told when you started at a new school all the ways you could get detention."
"Did you get detention on purpose to learn to read so that you could teach me?"
"I guess."
"Didn't dad care?"
"He was way deep into demon hunting by then. Only told me off if I kept him waiting so he could go on a hunt."

Deans voice was croaky again and Sam gave him some water.
"Huh". Sam grunted ,this must be where Dean got his adaptability from, he learned early. "Dean did you sit your SATS?"
"Yep."
"What score did you get?"
"Don't know."
"Come on Dean, you can tell me I won't rag on you I swear."
"No Sammy, I can't tell you." Dean looked down and Sam pulled his chin up with his hand.
"Why not?"
"Never found out."
"Why not?"

Dean sighed."We moved the day after. You know dad, no forwarding address."
"Did dad know?"
"If he did he never mentioned it."
Dean looked away awkwardly. He didn't want Sam to feel sorry for him.
"Dean, how did you feel about it? It must have pissed you off to do all that studying for nothing."
"Ha, I wasn't allowed to get pissed off Sammy remember? I was the babysitter, daddy's good little soldier." It came out harsher than Dean expected even with his voice so gravelly. "Sorry Sam," he said quietly. "It's not your fault, its mine."
"Why is it your fault?"
"I should have stood up for myself back then but I guess I was used to being stood on so much I didn't care any more." Dean's voice was soft and Sam recognized the physical and emotional pain Dean was going through to talk about this.

Sam pulled him closer to his chest. "Were you pissed off you weren't given the opportunity to go to university then?"
"For the first week, then I buried it like I do and then I swore it wouldn't happen to you."
"That's why you fought with dad to let me go to university." Sam stroked a hand through Deans hair.
"Mmm, one of the reasons Sammy. Going to university is not just about being smart and getting good grades it's about leaving this life behind. We were forced into this and getting out is living as normal as possible."
"But you hated me for going of to uni looking for a normal life."
"Jealous Sam, envied, proud that you stood up to dad. Hated that you left but never hated you." A big admission from Dean.
"I wish it had been different, Dean. Dad made it so hard for us."
"I know."

Sam got Dean some more water then Dean stood slowly and Sam helped him to the toilet. Sam held onto Dean as he went to the toilet as he was pretty weak. He averted his eyes so Dean had a little privacy. It wasn't hard with one arm around Dean and the other holding onto his IV Bags. Once he was settled in bed Dean went back to sleep and Sam had lunch. Sam spent his lunchtime and most of the afternoon thinking about what Dean had told him.

Late in the afternoon Sam read to Dean some more when he woke up and he seemed much brighter and Sam was happy his temperature was down to 100.4 He felt a lot cooler and drank more water. Sam helped him to the toilet twice more that day and Dean walked slowly carrying his own weight the second time. Callum was happy with Dean's progress and gave him a reduced amount of medication in the injection he gave him and said he would be happy for Dean to go back on to pain tablets the next day. Dean was happy. No more needles except the two taped to the back of his hand which Callum wanted to leave in for another 48 hours. That night Dean watched TV with Sam for an hour and cuddled up to him to go to sleep. Sam was painfully aware that Dean had no shirt on , just boxers and kept rubbing his hand over Dean's chest. Dean seemed not to care he just enjoyed attention for once and nodded off to sleep.

Sam woke up with a huge erection the next morning even though he was facing away from Dean and Dean's arms were wrapped around him. Maybe it had something to do with Dean's warm breath on the back of his neck or Deans bare chest against his back. Sam snuggled back into Dean's chest and pushed his left arm backwards and around Dean rubbing up and down his back. Sam was getting painfully hard and considering pulling himself off right there in the bed when Dean woke and snuffled his face into Sam's neck. He wrapped his arms tighter around Sam. That didn't make it any easier.

Sam was starting to wriggle in Dean's arms, his need was getting harder to control. Dean's right hand rubbed up under Sam's shirt over Sam's lower abdominals. Sam's control flew out the window as he groaned, pushing his head back against Deans and turning to the side searching for Dean's lips. Dean moved his head so their lips meet and the kisses were wet, wild and passionate. Sam's left arm moved up over his head to the back of Dean's head stroking and pushing Deans head forward so that his mouth pushed harder into his and arching his body forward. Dean pulled Sam's T shirt up so that his front was rubbing against Sam's bare back.

Dean pushed his right leg through Sam's legs then pulled Sam back into him, pulling them both to the left so that he was almost on his back and Sam's right side at his hip was off the mattress. Dean had more freedom of movement with his right arm. Dean's right hand moved under Sam's boxers and pulled his erection free, his fingers moving up and down the shaft seeming to tease Sam by not using his whole hand. Then Sam remembered Dean's hand had a bandage holding his IV needles in so he couldn't use his whole hand. Sam groaned loudly as he felt his climax building fast in his belly. He was soon pumping through Dean's fingers, the need to come getting very strong. Dean was driving him to the edge quickly, full hand or not and he just had to look down and see how Dean's talented fingers were doing it . Dean was using Sam's pre-cum and slipping up and down the shaft with his clever fingers teasing the head and ghosting into the slit. And that was all it took ,seeing Deans fingers working his shaft giving Sam pleasure while his hand was still wrapped up sent Sam crashing over the edge cuming onto Dean's hand and his own stomach in thick spurts and yelling his brothers name as he did so.

Dean got out of bed and helped Sam change the sheets then he lay back down while Sam changed the bandage on his hand.
"Thanks Dean. You didnt have to help me out while you are still sick."
"No problems, Sammy. I'm nearly better and I owe you way more than that for looking after me."
"You don't have to pay me back for looking after you."
Sam had a shower and got dressed. Sam had breakfast and Dean had water and used the bathroom, brushing his teeth and having a shave with Sam's help. Dean put a fresh T shirt and sweats on feeling a lot cooler than he had and his temperature read 99.5. Sam read to Dean while they sat in bed then Sam went off to do more washing taking with him a certain dirty sheet.

When Sam was having his lunch Dean woke up and sat up and looked at Sam. "What are you eating?"
"TV Dinner. Spaghetti bolognaise. You hungry?"
"Starving."
"About time."
Sam went to the bag on the kitchen cupboard and pulled out a couple of tins of soup. "Chicken or chicken vegetable?"
"Let's start with the chicken and see how it goes."
Sam made the soup up for Dean and bought a cup over to him. He drank carefully and his stomach groaned and gurgled. Dean sat tensely while he waited to see if he would be rushing to the bathroom. His stomach accepted it however and he drank the full cup.

The boys went back to reading cuddled together. Afterr an hour Sam got Dean more soup and then Sam read again. After a while Sam stopped reading and said into Dean's neck. "Dean I saw the pictures you have in your journal."
"Mmm." Dean was sleepy after the food.
"Your journal is special to you hey?"
"Yeah."
"Dean those photos. Do you have any of yourself growing up?"
"A few."
"But not in the journal?"
"No. You know what life on the roads like Sammy, you keep the most important stuff you need with you. Everything else gets thrown out or stored somewhere. They fit in the journal okay so I took them with me."

Sam noticed the last few words Dean had uttered were slow and strangled sounding when they came out like Dean was trying to stop them.
"Do you have stuff stored somewhere?"
Dean just looked at Sam like he was unwilling to say anything.
"Come on, Dean. I'm more than just your brother. I'm not going to give you crap for hiding stuff. I know what it's like okay? Please?"
"The journal. Can you grab it?" Dean had his head down and spoke softly like it was causing him pain to let this out.

Sam went to Dean's bag and bought the journal over and handed it to Dean. Dean flipped the book to the back page and pulled a small flap open that ran along the inside of the spine. He put two fingers in carefully and pulled out a small silver key. He handed it to Sam.
"This is the key to a locker at Pastor Jim's."
"What ? How long have you had that?"
"Since I was ten."
"Ten? Holy shit Dean! That's a long time to have something like that. What's in it and why did you set it up?"

Dean felt uncomfortable at telling more secrets to Sam but this one was never meant to be a secret so it wasn't as hard to let go of.
"When I was ten I was injured backing dad up on a hunt. It was bad enough that there were visible bruises and a wicked concussion. Anyway we stayed with Pastor Jim for a week, away from prying eyes while I recovered. Just you and me of course, dad left for another hunt. Pastor Jim was doing my laundry when he saw stuff in my bag I was trying to hold onto. Stuff dad had thrown in the trash and I had got out and hidden so I could hang onto them. He offered me a locker at the church and I've used it every time I get back there. Of course I had to sneak down there a few times or get Jim to put things in for me.
"Wow, I never knew."
"You were meant to get one too when you were old enough but we think dad got an idea as to what was going on and stopped going near the church. Jim and I kept as quiet as we could about things so dad wouldn't find out. I sent a few things there after things settled down."
"Why didn't you want dad to know?"
"We weren't sure he would like the idea. The things in there have got nothing to do with hunting, more... sentimental stuff. I didn't think he would understand and didn't want to take the risk he would find out and salt and burn it."

Dean uttered a short bark like laugh.
"Salt and burn it? What the hell kind of stuff is it?"
"Photos like I said and school awards, that kind of thing. Things that 'normal' people would put on the fridge or in an album or whatever. Not much but as much as I could keep in case we wanted them later."
"We?"
"Yeah. Some of its yours too Sammy."
"Dean, I never knew."
"Nothing to be sorry about Sam you couldn't have known. Pastor Jim and I did a pretty good job of hiding it."
"You damn well did. Can I see what's inside?"
"Next time we go down that way."
"Good . Thanks Dean. And for going to the effort without me knowing."
"No problem."
"Dean would you ever have told me about the locker on your own?"
"Yeah of course. I was planning on finding a hunt down that way. I never meant to keep it a secret from you Sammy, just dad."
"Dean, what if you died? I mean our job is so dangerous what if something happened to you?" Sam choked the words out.
"Pastor Jim would have contacted you and told you about it. He knows where the key is and has a copy in his safe."
"Oh".

Sam slid the key away where it had been. He wasn't sure what to think of the fact Dean had left instructions with someone about what to do on his death. But ultimately he was happy Dean had a hidden stash away from his father. In his own way without realizing it Dean had rebelled against his father even if he had done it with help from Pastor Jim and for his brother as well as himself. Sam read to Dean a bit longer but he was having trouble concentrating on the story as their last discussion kept interrupting his thoughts.

He simply had to ask. "Dean, what do you think you would have done with your life if you didn't hunt?"
"No idea."
"Come on, your eighteen, you know nothing about hunting. Your SATS are in you can do anything you want."
"What do you think?"
"Mechanic, you're great with cars."
"Na. Would get bored to quickly, same thing day in day out."
Sam thought hard. "You're right. Soldier, you would kick ass in the army."
"Sam, we were raised as soldiers. I would never want to be one given a choice..
"You'd still kick ass. So what are your skills, apart from hunting. Let's see you're a great tracker you'd make a great Sherpa."
"Sherpa?"
"Yeah, you know saving people lost in the mountains."
"I think we are in the wrong country for that." Dean mused over Sam's choices for him.
"Hey, I know you're great at first aid. What about a doctor or an EMT?"
"An EMT sounds more interesting than a doctor. Doctors can be dicks as well."
"That's what dad has brought you up to think, Dean. Doctors do great things too and there are dicks in every field. You're smart enough to do both, and brave. Hey a fireman. Didn't you want to do that once? Or a cop, you'd be a great cop."
"A cop Sam? We impersonate cops all the time."
"And you're way more believable than me. You're got a great investigative brain, you would make you a great cop."

TBC