—7—

At first Oliver could only stare at Chloe as she brushed past him into his apartment. Then her comment registered, and he realized that the T-shirt he was wearing was in fact one giant pit-stain at this point. Shrugging, he pulled it off and grabbed a towel on the way to his bedroom where he found a fresh shirt. "Can I get you anything?" he called to her from his room as he wiped down his chest with the towel. He remembered her statement earlier about coffee. "Coffee?" he offered, smirking.

"Please," she replied gratefully.

"There's a machine on the counter. Grounds in the cupboard behind it," he said with a little frown. "At least…I think there are. I haven't needed them in a while."

"How do you live?" was her only response.

He chuckled. When he re-entered his kitchen, he had a moment to really observe her, as she was completely absorbed in figuring out how to operate his coffee-maker, which he had to admit, was a little more complicated than was strictly necessary. There was a little crease between her eyebrows as she furrowed them in concentration. This was the first time he'd ever seen her dressed down: a pair of jeans and a burgundy and ivory striped sweater. It looked like she'd barely taken the time to throw on a little mascara, and her hair was still tousled with sleep by the look of it. He'd never seen her looking so approachable. In addition, he couldn't help noticing that her ass looked great in those jeans. He raised an eyebrow as he studied it. She let out a small noise of triumph when she got the coffee maker working, and his eyes flickered up to her face, which was lit with victory.

Then she turned to look at him. Her eyes raked over his form, taking in his sweat pants and the casual gray T-shirt he was wearing. She pursed her lips almost imperceptibly and crossed her arms over her chest. "Well?" she said.

"Just to clarify, you're agreeing to fake an engagement to me?" he said.

"That's the idea," she said.

"Great," he said, rubbing his hands together. "So where do we start?"

"Ground rules," Chloe said.

"Fair enough." He walked over to the bar and sat down. Chloe remained where she was—close to the coffee maker.

"Number one: there will be no sex."

"That's a given."

"Yeah, but you probably need to think about that more carefully. I don't just mean that we won't be having sex. I mean for the next few months, you will not be having sex at all. I refuse to endure the disgrace of being 'cheated on.' Personally, I wouldn't care. It's just that if someone finds out—in our personal lives or otherwise, it'll be hell." She caught the expression on his face and added hastily, "And of course the same would apply to me. I'm just bringing it up because I didn't know if you'd considered that aspect."

"What aspect is that exactly?" he asked, dragging a hand over his face and peering up at her.

Her face turned a little pink and he realized what she meant.

"You think I can't go a few months without sex?" he asked incredulously.

She looked up at the ceiling. "I'm just saying our lifestyles are different. Have you ever gone that long without sex before?" she asked, this time meeting his eyes.

As a matter of fact, he hadn't. But he wasn't about to say that out loud. "Of course. And this won't be a problem for you?" he threw back at her.

She scoffed. "Let's just say it's been a lot longer than that."

He raised an eyebrow. "Exactly how long has it been?" he couldn't stop himself from asking.

"None of your business," Chloe said.

"Oh God, that explains a lot."

"Excuse me?" she asked.

"Sorry."

Chloe closed her eyes as though praying for patience. "Right. So anyway. Rule Number One is that there will be no sex."

"Rule Number Two," Oliver continued, "no one else can know. I don't care who they are. If you feel too guilty about lying to someone, then now is the time to back out."

"Agreed. Not even our closest friends can know. Just us." The coffee maker finished and beeped to signify the fact. Chloe turned her attention from the topic at hand. "Mugs?" she asked.

He gestured to a cabinet and she opened it, standing on her tiptoes to reach for them. Her sweater rose up slightly as she did so, and he caught a glimpse of the smooth, pink skin of her stomach and lower back. "I forgot how short you are," he teased her as she snatched at the mug.

"I'm not short. I'm just surrounded by giants," she fired back. "Did you want any?" she asked.

He shook his head, smirking at her comeback. "Naw, I really just have that thing for guests. I don't drink coffee."

She shot him a look. "Tall and weird," she said simply before pouring herself a cup. "I suppose cream would be too much to hope for?" she asked him.

He nodded. "Milk's in the fridge."

She shrugged and helped herself. He watched, fascinated, as she carried out what seemed to be a ritual for her, pouring the exact amount of milk she liked, then adding an extremely specific amount of sugar and stirring. She closed her eyes and almost reverently took the first sip. She groaned. "There's hope for you yet," she said, eyes still shut. "You buy good coffee." She took another sip and and sighed.

Oliver's eyebrows were up. He'd never seen anyone get so much pleasure out of coffee. "Addict much?" he said.

"All I can say is death by coffee-overdose is my preferred way to go," she replied.

He smirked. "You know that stuff stunts your growth, right?"

She opened her eyes and shot a look at him. "Can it, sasquatch. Now where were we? No sex. Complete secrecy. Anything else?"

"I assume it goes without saying, but obviously this whole thing depends on the inevitable break-up. Any ideas on that?"

"Well, as stated, there will be no cheating scandal. I just refuse to involve myself in that. But what about breaking up because of jealousy?"

"I'm not the jealous-type."

"So?"

"It has to be believable, Sullivan," he reminded her. "Anyway, I don't see why I have to be the villain here."

She smirked back at him. "Just trying to make it believable," she winked.

He rolled his eyes. "Religious beliefs?" he suggested.

She raised a shoulder. "I'm Christian, but I'm not really that religious. As long as you're not part of some Satan-worshipping cult, I don't think it would be a problem."

"Yeah, same," he said.

They were silent for a while.

She snapped her fingers. "I want to have kids and you don't!" she suggested.

"But I do want kids," he pointed out.

She looked surprised. "Really?"

He raise and eyebrow at her. "Why is that so shocking?"

"Sorry, I just…assumed you didn't really want to get married at all, let alone have a family."

He released a breath. "I mean, eventually I do. Just, not right now. And anyway it would have to be with the right woman. But the point is, my parents know how I feel about kids. So no one would believe it."

She heaved a frustrated sigh as well. "Same here. Wouldn't work then."

Again they were silent as they scraped for a viable excuse for their break-up. When nothing presented itself, Oliver decided to postpone the conversation. "Let's just shelf it for now. Something will come up eventually, after all. We'll probably have something figured out in 24 hours," he joked.

She laughed as well. "Good point. The break up is probably the one thing we won't have to try to make convincing."

He grinned.

"So what else?" Chloe prompted him.

He ran a hand through his hair. "Well, you're probably not going to like this, but I think we should move in together."

"What? No way. I love my apartment."

"Yeah, but in order to really do this right, we have to make everyone believe that we gave the 'relationship' our best shot. And if I were really engaged, my fiance would be living with me."

She bit her lip. "Seriously?" she pleaded.

He nodded grimly.

She dropped her head to the counter and groaned a pathetic whining noise. "I don't wanna," she said sulkily.

"Hey, them's the rules, Sullivan," he said. "And trust me, I'm not too keen on living with you either."

"Ugh, fine. How long before I would have to move in?"

"I'd say you can have at least a week."

"A week—oh God, you're going to have to come out to Metropolis with me next weekend."

"What? Why?"

"Victor and Katherine's wedding. I'll have to RSVP for a guest if they'll still let me."

"Who are Victor and Katherine?"

"Victor's a long time friend. Met him through Clark when I was in high school. He coaches Met U's football team."

"Hang on," Oliver said, "I'll check my schedule." He left her to go to his office and pull out a thick black leather book that contained his calendar. "You're in luck," he informed her from the other room. "I've only got two meetings next weekend. They can probably be rescheduled." He closed the book and added under his breath, "I'm sure Dad'll understand."

"So," she said when he re-entered the room, "I think we should break for a little while, and then regroup later."

"Yeah?" he asked. "What for?'

"Well," she said, pulling her phone out of her pocket and holding it up as evidence. "I now have…" she double-checked, "thirty-two missed calls to tend to. And I imagine you have a few messages to respond to as well."

Oliver thought of the voice-mail from his mother with a surge of guilt. "I might."

"Right. So, I'm going to take a couple of hours to deal with everyone, and then we can meet here later."

"What happens later?" he asked.

"If we're going to pull this off," she said, "we're going to need to get to know each other."

He swallowed tightly, looking at the determined expression on her face. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"Great," she said, sticking her phone back in her pocket. Then she gave him a once over. "And…you should shower," she added.

The Phone Calls

"Hi, Mom."

"Chloe, honey! Hi, sweetheart. Oh, how are you? I can't believe you got engaged. That is just too…first Lois and now you. You're all getting to be so grown up and I just don't know what to do."

Chloe chuckled guiltily. "Yeah, it's great."

"Well when do we get to meet him?"

"I'll—uh, talk to him about that, Mom. But you know how busy I am, and he's always got a lot going on, too. And next weekend is Vic's wedding, so it might be a few weeks, okay?"

"Oh, all right," her mother conceded. "But don't put it off. I want to know all about him. And I'm coming to visit you soon. I don't see anywhere near enough of you."

Chloe smiled. She blamed herself for not staying in better touch with her mother. "I'd like that, Mom. We'll work something out soon. I'll e-mail you. But listen, I really can't talk much longer. I've got, like, a million people to talk to today."

"Of course, of course. I won't keep you. But I want to hear all about how he proposed and this whole 'secret dating' thing. That is too romantic. You never did do things the easy way," she sighed.

"Heh, yeah. Sure, Mom. Well, I'll talk to you soon."

"Bye, sweetheart. Love you."

"I love you, too, Mom."

"Hello, Mother."

"Oliver, dear! I'm so glad to hear from you. I've been feeling absolutely neglected. I can't believe you got engaged without telling us about it!"

"Yeah, sorry about that, Mother. We didn't mean for it to get out. I was going to tell you in person."

"Oh it's all right, love. I know. I just don't know why you've been keeping it such a big secret!"

"Well, we just didn't want our friends pressuring us when we first got together. A few of them are a little…pushy. But the cat's out of the bag now, I guess."

"Well I want to meet her. Do you think she would do lunch with me?" his mother asked, as if she were nervous that Chloe wouldn't like her. Which was absurd. Oliver couldn't imagine a more enthusiastic mother-in-law.

"I'll have her over for dinner sometime soon, Mother," he sighed. "Just…relax. She'll love you. But why don't we hold off on the one-on-ones for now? I don't want her to feel overwhelmed."

"Of course. What about her parents?"

"They're—ah—" Where were her parents from? He'd forgotten to ask. "I'll ask her about it, okay? I'm sure they'll all be thrilled to meet you and Dad."

"Wonderful. Well, I won't keep you. But you should call your father, you know. He's practically bursting with pride. You know how he gets."

"Sure, Mother. I'll talk to him."

"All right, dear. We'll see you soon."

"Bye, Mother. Love you."

"Love you, too, dear."

"Chloe Ann Sullivan!"

"Hi, Lo."

"I can't believe this! How could you get engaged without telling me? How could you have a whole relationship without telling me? I knew you were lying when you said you weren't seeing him. I just knew there was something going on!"

"Hi, Chloe."

"Clark? Am I on speaker?"

"Seriously, I had to find out about my own cousin's engagement from Lucy? How come she knew before me, huh?"

"She gets up earlier than you do?" Chloe suggested.

"Yeah, um, congratulations, by the way," Clark offered up.

"Thanks Clark."

"I mean, I don't see why you couldn't tell me about it. I thought we told each other everything. If you were going to have a secret relationship, I should have been in on it! We're closer than sisters, remember?"

"Um, what Lois means, Chloe, is that she's really happy for you and Oliver. So…uh…congratulations again. (Lois, we should hang up, I'm sure Chloe has a lot of things to do today.)" Chloe heard Clark utter the last to Lois in a quieter voice.

"She's my cousin and she didn't tell me she was engaged!" Lois ranted. "This is an outrage! I'm outraged, Chloe!"

"Sorry, Lo."

"Sorry? She's sorry, Clark! The biggest news of her entire life, and I read it in the paper, and she's sorry!"

"Lois, she couldn't help that it got printed in the paper. I'm sure she was going to tell you the next time she saw you. Right, Chloe?"

"Right. I wanted to tell you in person, so we could, um…celebrate together."

There was a short pause.

"…really?" Lois asked tentatively.

"Of course, Lois. Biggest news of my life and all. I wanted to tell you face to face at Victor's wedding next week. I was saving it as a surprise."

Another pause.

"Oh."

"See, Lois? Now congratulate her like you're supposed to."

"Congratulations, cuz," Lois said fervently. "Really, I'm so happy for you. I can't wait to help you plan your wedding. It's going to be amazing."

Chloe smiled. "Well, I think we're planning to make it a long engagement, so there will be plenty of time for that," she said, amazed at how easy it was to lie through her teeth like this. "I'll let you know."

"Can't wait to see you next week, Chloe," Clark said.

"Me either, Clark. Miss you both like crazy," she added truthfully.

"Miss you, too, Chlo," Lois said.

"Bye, Chloe!" Clark added.

"Bye, guys," she said before they hung up.

"Hey, Hal."

"Oliver Freaking Queen. My man. Engaged. Dude, I can't believe you beat me to the punch."

"Still haven't proposed to Carol?"

"Dude, she just does not make it easy, y'know?"

"Aw come on. Four words, man. It's a piece of cake."

"You're telling me you weren't nervous proposing to Chloe? Aw, I'm calling bullshit man. Ten bucks says you were sweating bullets."

"Uh—yeah, I mean, I was nervous, but—"

"I guess when it feels right it's just…right, huh?"

"Yeah. Exactly."

"Man, that is just so crazy. Can't believe it. You and Sullivan. What a team. I always thought you two'd be great for each other. It's so weird, though, I didn't even know you were dating."

"We, uh, were sort of keeping it on the down low. Chloe didn't want to have to deal with a huge fallout with our friends if things didn't work out," he said, grasping for excuses.

Hal chuckled. "Yeah, that sounds like the Chloe I know."

Did it? Well that was a relief. "So you and Carol are still doing good?"

"Oh yeah, we're great. She just won't sit still long enough to let me propose to her."

Oliver laughed. "Yeah, well, tell her I said she'd better say yes or I'll never forgive her."

"Yeah, yeah. Well, listen, I gotta get going, but congratulations, man. I'm so happy for you. Really."

"Thanks, man. I appreciate that."

"You be good to that girl, okay? I'll beat you're ass if I hear she's being mistreated."

"Hey, would I do that?"

"Yeah, well, I like Sullivan, so I'm just sayin': play nice."

"Whatever, dude. I'll talk to you later."

"You got it, man. Congrats again."

They hung up.

"Hi."

"Unbelievable! After all the grief you gave me!"

"Yeah, sorry about that, Dinah."

"Well I wish you'd just told me you were trying to avoid the paparazzi. I wouldn't have been dragging you out in public with him all the time!"

"I—er—what?"

"You and Oliver. If I'd just known that you were actually dating, we wouldn't have had that whole fiasco at the restaurant. You should tell me these things, honey. I know you like to keep your personal life private. It just never occurred to me that the press was getting to you so much. I'm sorry, dearest."

"Uh…well, thanks."

"But congratulations! My goodness, what a whirlwind romance! Has it really just been a few short months? But when it's true love, I suppose you just know, don't you?"

"Yep. Thanks, Dinah."

"God, this is just too, too wonderful. Arthur's thrilled as well, by the way. I mean, neither of us imagined—well, I imagined it, but still—that our two best friends would end up as happy as we are. Ugh! It's just perfect. We have to get together so you can tell me all the juicy details. I want to hear all about when you started dating and how he proposed and…everything!"

"Well, sure, Dinah, but I can't tonight. I'm—"

"Celebrating with Oliver? Of course. But I'll see you for sure next weekend. So I expect to hear about it all then. God, I'm just so happy for you, Chloe. Really. Marriage will be the best thing that ever happened to you, just you wait and see!"

Chloe smiled weakly. "Thanks, Dinah. That means a lot."

"I'll talk to you soon, darling. Congratulations again."

"Bye, Dinah."

"Hi, Mia."

"Oh my God, I'm so excited for you!"

"Thanks, Mia."

"Seriously, I've only been working for her for a couple of weeks, but Chloe is the most awesome person ever. I'm just so excited! Please tell me I'm invited to your wedding!"

He swallowed nervously. "Of course, Mia. I wouldn't leave you out!"

"For real, Oliver: most awesome day ever! I can't believe you wouldn't tell me you were dating her. You have such a good poker face it's crazy!"

Oliver chuckled. "Right."

"Congratulations, Oliver, seriously. I'm so excited for you. Oh, but Oliver?"

"Yeah?"

"Don't screw this up because if I have to pick sides, I may be forced to choose hers."

"Ouch. That hurts."

"Them's the breaks."

"Hey!" he protested, laughing. "Anyway, I'm also calling because I have to cancel our training this afternoon."

"Hangin' out with your fiancé?" she teased him in a sing-song voice.

"You got me."

"Well fine," she sighed dramatically. "I'll forgive you. But only because you got engaged. Congratulations, Oliver!"

"Thanks, Mia. I'll see you later this week for sure."