Chuck Versus Agent Insanity

Chapter II

Another One

Chuck entered Casey's apartment without knocking or anything. That's how angry he was at the NSA goon for the bug he had just found in the bathroom. Had he seen him with Carina last night? Both in their birth suits?

When he gets into this kung-fu mode, he may apply some of the skills to Casey. It's been long overdue.

Casey was sitting on the couch in his living room, his feet up on the table. Reading a newspaper. Actually, when he sensed somebody was entering, he changed the page, as if trying to hide where he was.

Now his right hand was on his gun, stuck in a holster under the table. Casey had holsters with guns hidden in most places, where he used to stay longer. Thus, he could never be caught unprepared. Some of the statues contained stunt grenades, even in the Ronald Reagan statue.

But it was too late. Chuck had rushed into just too quickly. He saw the ad page, with some entries circled with a marker.

'Was Casey looking for a job? Worrying about getting laid off? With this economic crisis and the new administration, Reagan dinosaurs like him would be among the first on the chopping block.'

Chuck smirked. However, he decided not to zing Casey on this. He, himself had been suffering too much at his dead-end job. For too long. It'd be too hypocritical.

"Bartowski!', growled Casey, 'Is this some public property? Somebody missed to input the concept of knocking into the Intersect? What's the matter? I've been missing getting updated on your lady issues. You and Walker? Still on first base?

Casey had finished reviewing the tape with Chuck and Carina 10 minutes ago. He had deleted the feed from the computer and all traces of any such feed. But before that he recorded the video file on one of those small CDs, metal base, with ceramic layer to protect against scratches. No flash sticks, too unreliable. Colonel Casey knew how to store and protect his private database. Then he hid it in one of his own private safes.

The video file was innocent as far as Chuck was concerned but Carina had proved once more how rogue of an agent she actually was. Casey didn't mind having something juicy on her. He hadn't yet forgotten how he ended up hand-cuffed on the bed. After Carina seduced him, just to handcuff. And to add insult to injury, it happened not just once but twice. Casey grunted at the thought.

Chuck almost regretted for not zinging Casey about the job search already. If Casey would insist on killing him with his sarcasm, so should Chuck.

"Watch you mouth, Casey. If general Beckman were to hear that, you could be in the business of looking for a new job! With the current crisis looming you may end up at the Buy More. This time for real. With me supervising. Overseeing. Managing you.' Chuck was snickering.

He had forgotten that both he and Casey had already quit the Buy More. Not that they couldn't reapply for their old positions tomorrow.

Casey was breathing heavily, obviously wondering which way of the 15 he could think of, to kill Bartowski.

'Careful Casey,' Chuck went on, 'if I smell danger, who knows, I may flash on one of those Bruce Lee movies again and kick your …'

Colonel Casey, Chuck!', shouted somebody.

Neither of them had noticed that the monitor of the communication system to the DNI was on and they had been watched for who knows how long. Most probably, the mentioning of general Beckman's name had activated the connection. Now Casey remembered that he had left it on its standby mode. What a mistake! It was so embarrassing.

'Am I to infer that in the absence of agent Walker you two are unable to behave as grown-ups?' general Beckman's anger was still gathering force, 'At all?'

Casey couldn't think of anything to say.

'Colonel Casey? Or should I say, Major? Do you have any idea how many agents and veterans would like to keep their jobs or take yours, in this crisis, with all these budget cuts? Those here are job applications." She raised her hand, full of some papers. The general obviously knew how to push buttons. She hadn't climbed up the ladder just like that.

Casey was still recovering from the "major" thing.

'General. We were joking. Sometimes, we need to take things easy. You know how it is in the field.' He thought for a second or two, trying to find a way out. 'If you don't want to end up like Agent Montgomery, you need to let the steam off once in a while', he went on. 'And as you know, agent Montgomery was our best for over two decades.'

It was the first law of spy business. Nobody can survive without letting the steam off once in a while.

Beckman raised her brow. Yeah, that was so very true. Dyane remembered Roan from his better days. There was a trace of a smile on her face but she quickly recovered. So sad about late Roan. Killing his liver with all this alcohol.

'So, colonel,' she continued, Casey, visibly relaxed, 'what's the matter, why are you calling?'

'Nothing general. I'm really sorry for disturbing you. The communication system must have reactivated by itself. It must be a software glitch or something. I'll have Chuck, I mean, Bartowski.., I mean, agent Bartowski fix it.'

Now that Chuck had uploaded Intersect 2.0, with his new fighting capabilities, or as Chuck called them, the Bruce Lee Mode, Casey clearly had some respect after he had seen him fighting.

Since he still had all this uber-important info in his head and nobody knew whether the Bruce Lee Mode would be back and when, he needed as much protection as always.

And where is agent Falcone if I might ask?' the general inquired.

'She is resting general,' Casey replied. 'She needed it badly. The Asset is under my protection now. There is an NSA team outside my premises.'

"Chuck, agent Bartowski', the general went on, 'and how do you find your new protector, agent Carina Falcone? I hope she is not imposing or something. You worked together last year, didn't you?"

Chuck was so unprepared for this.

'Hmmm, it's very professional, general, strictly professional,' he said wondering how lame this must have sounded.

Casey was smiling, 'Yeah, idiot, 100% naked and butts fully engaged. What profession is that?"

The general continued: "did she give you any problems, agent Bartowski?"

"None I can't think of, general, none, whatsoever." Chuck was shaking his head.

Casey couldn't stop laughing inside. 'Yeah, she was trying to give him a lot, it's just that the nerd hadn't grown up yet.'

General Beckman was about to turn off the connection when somebody appeared behind her back. It was a gracious female figure in a business suit, inconspicuous; you meet women in such outfits everywhere in Washington. The face wasn't yet visible so they wondered who that could be. Some secretary of the general, something urgent going on there? They had never seen Beckman interrupted.

The figure approached the general's desk and leant ahead so Casey and Chuck finally saw who it was. Wow. Sarah Walker.

'Even if she puts on a 14th century armor suit, she'd still be, hmmm', Chuck thought.

'You're thinking of what is under the armor, idiot, that's why', Chuck told himself, remembering her in the shady hotel at Barstow, after she came out of the bathroom.

Remembering Barstow, he remembered the condom. The condom that wasn't there. That was officially, the most important non-existing condom in the world. He should call Guinness, so they make it official. After killing Morgan, of course.

'What was Sarah doing at the DNI's office anyway?' wondered Casey. She was summoned back to Washington by the CIA, urgently, on business "unrelated to the Intersect". Or so was Casey told. In a week or two, max, she should be back with Team Bartowski.

'Hi, Chuck, hello Casey.', her tone was business-like. 'I just dropped by to say hello to both of you. Doing OK without me there? Any problems with Carina?

Beckman frowned, 'Not exactly, Agent Walker. It seems like out of the entire team Bartowski, it's only you who managed to grow up in time. Those two still need their babysitters', the general watched backed at Casey, as sternly as she possibly could, her brow rising to its max.

Sarah tried her best not to laugh out loud. 'Thank God, Beckman was looking at the monitor.'

"General, I know, those two are fighting all the time, but only when there is no urgency around', Sarah tried, "but once the push comes to shove, so to speak, they become disciplined and concentrated on the mission. Both have cooperated on missions just …'

Beckman wouldn't buy that. "Enough, Agent Walker. Are you their lawyer now or what?" She watched back at Sarah, noticing her outfit. For general Beckman, everything outside military uniform was not worthy of wearing these days.

'Is this the new CIA uniform, Agent Walker?' she asked, forgetting that Chuck and Casey were still online.

No, general. I just need to stay under the radar. No need to attract any attention,' she said, blushing as she realized what she had just implied.

'Yeah,' Chuck thought. 'Under the spy world radar maybe. Under the male hormones radar, you need the 14th century armor suit, Angel Walker,' he thought smiling.

Casey was watching him carefully, trying to read Chuck's mind. Hmmm, Bartowsky, I know where this is going, you horny Intersect.."

General Beckman pressed the button to disconnect Chuck and Casey before asking Walker the question that was on her mind all day.

"Agent Walker, do I need to know what's the reason you are in Washington? As you know I run operation Bartowski, and since you are part of the team I need to know everything with regards to this operation and the team members. Everything they are up to.'

'Nice try,' Sarah thought. 'I'm sorry, general, but I'm not at liberty to say anything. However, the nature of the matter at hand is such that sooner or later you will be read into it. I can't imagine …'

'I thought so, agent Walker, I thought so.', the general interrupted. 'Since you are here in Washington, we should have dinner before you go. Talk about our project. What you really think of Casey and the Asset. How to improve things.'

'I'll be honored, general' , Sarah replied.

' How about tonight, at the Carlton, here, at the Pentagon?', asked Beckman.

xxx

Chuck and Casey were still sitting in the living room. It was so awkward.

Both had resigned from the Buy More last week. Chuck took the plunge with one thought only. Once the Intersect was out of his head, he was hoping that he and Sarah will get together for real. Think of their future together. Especially after what happened in that dingy hotel near the Fulcrum base. He knew he was smiling at the thought, but he couldn't help it. Not only did Sarah respond to his intimate advances but she looked so happy, so relaxed. A very different Sarah. Damn condom! And later, Sarah refused to go with Bryce on the new mission. She wanted her new life to be with him, Chuck. They were just about to make the next, most important step in their lives!

Chuck sighed. But then everything turned upside down. Again. He had to upload another Intersect in his head. On top of that, he saw Bryce die, and now, Sarah was urgently called back to Washington. He didn't have any idea why. He was stuck to the spy world once more, the very world that denied him anything remotely close to happiness.

What was he gonna do? How does his spy status change now? He had to wait for Sarah and Beckman for clues about his future. A future he had no control of. Again. What a loser. Well, maybe I should finally accept it. Charles Bartowski is a loser. Where's the news?

Casey was watching him carefully, trying to read the Intersect's mind. He saw him smile (that was when Chuck remembered about Sarah and him in the Barstow hotel) and then how his mood went down the drain in less than a minute.

Casey felt confident enough to attack.

"What is it Bartowski? Imaginary Kama Sutra with Agent Walker? Again? What did she say after? 'Chuck,' Casey was now imitating Sarah in one of her motherly caring modes, 'was it as good for you as it was for me?'

'Shut up, Casey, leave me …' Chuck tried.

But Casey wouldn't stop. He was like obsessed by an evil spirit, more bitter than ever. He was stuck with Chuck again, if they don't fire him, that is, all his frustrations piling up, looking for an exit route. As usual, Chuck was the perfect target for his sarcasm. But this time it was different. Casey was so vicious.

'Oh yeah, how could I forgot. You didn't have a condom. How pathetic …'

'Casey, shut up!', Chuck was yelling at Casey now, 'I'm not in the mood for your …."

Aaah, Chuck the lady-man Bartowski. Your lady feelings aside, how would your tender soul …'

Chuck wasn't just angry at Casey now. Rage, an avalanche of pure rage was taking over his head. He was now standing up, eyes getting unfocused. Not able to keep balance, staggering, his head was making him nauseous again. It was like flashing but not exactly. There was so much rage. It was the other type of "flashing".

Casey had stopped talking 10 seconds ago. He knew Chuck was flashing and was wondering what he had said that triggered the flash. What was the code phrase this time? Would they have a new mission now?

Not for a moment did it occur to him that it wasn't the ordinary, informational flash.

Casey realized that only a few seconds too late. "Chuck me .." was the last thing he was able to mutter out.

Chuck had already taken his fighter position, hands up, close to his body, torso slightly tilted, the left leg slightly ahead. Chuck's body suddenly rotated around his left leg, torso going slightly down, right leg going up, with all the torque force moving right at Casey's jaw.

A classic karate kick. The most powerful of all.

Most people would fall unconscious after such a blow in the head but not Casey. He was down on the couch, on his left side, trying to recover, slowly getting up. His mind was still too unfocused, however.

He was finally up. But Chuck was there waiting for him, standing at 90 degrees, fighter pose, with his hands up, but this time his right hand was clenched in a fist. He was ready for the famous short, under 90 degrees punch in the diaphragm.

Iaaaaaaaiii - i aaaaaaaaaa!

Now Casey was down on the couch again, struggling to breathe, all the air out of his diaphragm. Chuck, or whatever creature was against him now, was watching him with deadly resolve, breathing heavily. Another kick in the jaw send Casey to the kingdom of the sleeping angels for the next 5 hours.

Chuck was slowly getting his focus back now, realizing what happened.

'Oh God, what have I done? What have I done?'

He checked Casey's pulse. 'Oh God, thank you, thank you, thank you.'

No need to call for a doctor. Casey was breathing just fine.

Chuck realized it was better for him to get out of Casey's apartment before it was too late and rushed out.

Xxx

Back in his room Chuck was trying to process what had just happened. What triggered the kung fu mode? Can he control it? Was it connected to Sarah again? The first activation of the fighter mode happened when the enemy agent raised his gun against Sarah. Now Casey was zinging him and Sarah, something he was so sensitive about.

Did Casey intentionally do that? Just to experiment what triggers his fighter flashes?