Chapter 9:
"How are you feeling?" Edward asked. His voice was soft and kind but his posture was still unpleasantly stiff.
"Better." I moaned, my throat was raw and dry from the bitter cold, it hurt just to speak, "A little weak, but better." His expression was slightly puzzled for a moment then he asked me,
"When was the last time you ate?" Oh. I hadn't even thought about that.
"Uhmmmm…." I couldn't remember.
"I see." He said. He stood up and moved closer to his family, turning his back to me. "Carlisle, would we happen to have anything we could feed the human?"
The Human?? Was that all I was now?
"If I remember correctly The Human has a name." I whispered meekly. Lifting my head up to balance on the tip of my chin so we could see each other well enough that he could see that I didn't like being referred to as "The Human" and that I could see his reaction to my words. But he didn't even stop to look at me. He just turned his chin slightly closer in my direction and paused long enough to say,
"I know," before resuming his conversation with Carlisle. What had happened to that Edward from the woods? All that concern. All that fear he had had about my safety, my life. Where did it all go? This was an answer I couldn't afford to wait for. I willed myself the strength to, at least, sit up and turn around to face them.
"You know, your mood swings are starting to give me whiplash." I interjected, cutting Edward off mid sentence, but not without some level of effort. They all stopped to stare at me, wide eyed, again with the exception of Rosalie and Jasper. Rosalie was standing in a darkened corner, her face focused on the wall, her expression playing at uninterested. And Jasper was still nowhere to be seen.
"What?" Edward asked me, a bit startled. Again, as if he couldn't comprehend why I would say such a thing.
"What do I have to do to make you choose a side? What will it take?"
"Bel….", He started to say my name but stopped and sighed, "You don't know what you're talking about."
"I know that you seem to hate me unless I'm in danger from anything other than yourself."
He just stared at me, his eyebrows slowly pulling together. After a long moment Edward spoke, the rest of the Cullens and myself all released the breath we had been holding on to in that moment of silence.
"You're right." I almost felt like smiling a little, it felt like I might, actually, be winning this argument. Maybe, I thought to myself. But then he added,
"I can't stand you," maybe not, "You're stubborn and you don't listen, but as infuriating as that is the worst part is I can't make myself stay away from you!" Edward turned his back on me and began stalking out of the room. He wasn't about to avoid this conversation that easily, I wouldn't allow it. I slid my good leg out from underneath me and planted my foot firmly on the ground, knowing what would happen as soon as I tried to stand on both legs. When I got myself upright three things took place instantaneously. One, I dropped the blanket from my shoulders and all the world's warmth was sucked away from me, leaving me bare and freezing, I couldn't even feel the raging fire on my back anymore, just a dense chill. Two, an overpowering wave of nausea rolled through me and my head began pounding, I could hear it coming out my ears as fast as helicopter blades. And three, was the anticipated electric shock shooting from my ankle and ricocheting through my leg when I put even the slightest bit of weight onto it. In the second it took me to hit the floor, violently shivering and whimpering, Edward had swooped back in from the other room and down onto the floor at my side. He wrapped the quilt back around my shaking shoulders, leaving his hand rested there.
"You see what I mean?" He whispered absently, his gaze fixated on the floor next to my face. I sighed, bracing myself to speak,
"Not yet." He looked into my pleading eyes and sighed.
"Edward, please. I don't understand what's happening, or why? Why am I here? Why is this happening? Why can't I leave?"
"Because you're badly injured and dying." I rolled my eyes, he was dodging the real answers.
"I know that, but I'll get better. Why won't I be able to leave then?" His eyes drifted back to the floor. Alice was right, he didn't want to talk about this. For a brief moment Edward's eyes darted onto Alice before wandering back to their place on the floor. Alice saw this as her opportunity to chime in,
"Oh, come on Edward. Just go ahead and tell her."
"No. I'm not going to bother her with that."
"Just for now, because you don't wish to traumatize her even more? Or ever?"
"Both." His tone was beginning to darken.
"Edward if you don't tell her, I will. She needs to know."
Edward was on his feet, towering over Alice's slight figure, Alice didn't even flinch.
"You wouldn't dare!" He was fuming.
Edward bolted for the window. In a single elegant movement he had opened the translucent slab of glass and had leaped through the empty hole in the wall and was gone, leaving the night wind ripping through the silent room. After a prolonged moment of stillness Esme left Carlisle's side to close the window. Carlisle walked over to me and scooped me up into his arms, quilt and all, laying my head against his chest. As he whisked me up the stairs, no doubt to bed rest me for the remainder of my recovery, I felt the absence of a light thump thump against the side of my face. I then remembered not having felt the same thing earlier that night. As if it were still occurring I thought of the way I had laid my head flat into the crease of Edward's shoulder blades. I hadn't been able to place it then, but looking back I distinctly remember not hearing his heartbeat.