Chapter 12:

Alice squinted in pain as the first of her tears flooded from her glistening, black eyes. She pressed the palm of her hand over her mouth to cage in the horrid noises she made as she fell to the floor, mourning my death. But I had tasted death before and, although I would miss Alice greatly, I welcomed the thought of death now. Something about dying in Edward's arms seemed much more pleasant than being lost in the woods, freezing to death, alone.

No, I would not give death a second thought now, my mind was too busy circling around how Edward had said "My Bella", what was that supposed to mean? Below me on the floor Alice's shoulders were shaking uncontrollably, bouncing up and down with her sobbing. Edward pressed his back up against the wall, inches from the door, and slid to the floor with his knees pulled up to his chest. He rested his head on the wall, his eyes were closed and his breathing was beginning to slow down and even out, he almost looked like he was sleeping. Someone came up to the door. She cleared her throat, and I lifted my eyes from Alice's weeping and Edward's remorseful position to see Rosalie leaning into the room. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she had one eyebrow raised. I looked at the unnatural beauty of her face and she allowed eye contact for a split second before shifting the weight of her black eyes away from me as she muttered,

"That's the problem with humans…" she drifted off, letting the unfinished sentence hang in the air. Edward's lips parted, flashing his abnormally white teeth, and a heavy hiss escaped from his throat. Rosalie tucked a shimmering strand of silky gold hair behind her ear and clicked her tongue in mock displeasure,

"tsk, tsk. So testy." Edward's eyes snapped open, they were ready for the kill, but before he had time to do anything Rosalie continued,

"We're all ready Edward, Carlisle says it's time to put it to sleep." Her thoughts must have been dark, they seemed to swirl around the air surrounding her head in a tangible cloud, she lifted her chin and narrowed her eyes in my direction, her smile turned cruel. Edward's shoulders stiffened and a rogue shriek rang up from the floor where Alice quivered. When no one moved Rosalie flipped her hair over her shoulder and was gone. Edward was the one who eventually broke through the silence that had blanketed the three of us for a lingering moment. He moved over to Alice's huddled mass, knelt down beside her, and laid his hands comfortingly around her shoulders. After whispering into her ear, Edward lifted Alice off of the floor from under her arms, like you would with a small toddler. She looked so frail in his hands, bone white, despite her tearful fit, her face and hands were sopping wet, she was still shaking, she looked a little wobbly on her feet. Edward tucked her tiny body under his arm and escorted her out of the room. Seconds later he returned, alone, and sat on the right corner at the foot of the bed, still keeping his distance but also coming much closer than he had in months. I just waited, figuring he had come back for a reason, and that he would get to it in his own time.

"How much of that did you understand?" He asked quietly, his head bowed, his eyes on the floor where Alice had been just moments ago. Alice already thought that she was the reason I was going to die. If the last good thing I could do in this life was ease her guilt, then that's what I would do. But before I could say, none, why?, Edward stopped me.

"Bella. Please, don't lie to me. They've gone, they can't hear us. How much?" He was looking at me. He was actually looking directly at me. His eyes were burning deep into my soul, melting away the ice that had formed around my heart and the thick layer of snow that coated my insides. Both of his black eyes were as flat and unseeing as the eyes of a shark, and the thoughts lurking behind that polished glass were probably just as similar. Bloodthirsty and hungry. I could see my reflection, cowering on the other side of the bed, I looked so defenseless. But I suppose that's because I was. All he had to do was decide that he wanted to take my life and it would end. There was nothing I could do to stop him. But I had already decided for myself that if death were to present itself to me in this form I would take it, take it a hundred times and be glad.

There was something different, hidden deep inside. I had to look painfully hard to identify the unfamiliar light shining in Edward's eyes. There was an actual emotion flickering there, a luminous splash of compassion. I forced my eyes away from his face and on to his hands, they were balled up into a single white knuckled fist in his lap, his nails were digging into his skin. I knew I should have shied away from the thought that maybe, just maybe, he cared about me. I knew that he'd turn harsh and cold again. I looked up from his hands and saw that he was tilting his head at me, the compassion in his expression growing.

"But I do, Bella. I really do. I don't know why but… I can't figure out… I don't understand… This…this is…You're… It's just so…" Each time he couldn't find the right words to say he would sigh and shake his moppy red, gold hair. He wasn't ready to talk to me, not about this. He needed some time to think.

"Don't worry, I… I'm not going anywhere. He, that guy you're afraid of me turning into again, he's not coming back this time." He half smiled before standing up and walking over to the bedside table and picking up the syringe.

"Don't be afraid, we're just going out for a hunt. It makes it less difficult to be in the house with you. You should wake up a little while after we've returned." He inserted the sharp silver metal tip into the plastic tube that hung from a candle holder that was bolted up on the wall above my head, and fed fluids directly into my veins, and emptied its contents into the tiny, transparent cylinder. I tried to fight back the impending cloud of sleep that drew up around me within seconds. Edward knelt down by the bed, his shoulders level with my face. He placed one hand on my shoulder while his other hand traced the length of my jawbone, then he slid his fingers under my neck and, after taking a deep breath, probably to brace himself, he kissed me ever so briefly but ever so deeply on the forehead. Even after his lips were gone, the skin where they had been smoldered. I was too stunned to speak so I just let myself drift away into the most peaceful sleep I've had in a long, long time. The last thing to happen before the inevitable sleep took me into it's solid grasp was Edward's icy fingers on my neck as he whispered to me, his breath chilling my flesh, tingling my senses.

"Sleep now, love. I'll be back soon, My Bella." And with that, he was gone, and there was simply nothing. One vast darkness. Bliss.