"Ms. Granger," Dumbledore called to the woman at the desk.
Hermione was furiously scribbling away, referring to some pages on and off; so great was her concentration that she didn't realise Dumbledore had called to her many times already.
Sighing, Dumbledore borrowed a book from a friendly portrait, and settled down to reading "1001 ways to tell someone they're incompetent."
The book was rather thin, and Dumbledore finished it quite quickly, quietly chuckling at the more outrageous lines.
"Perhaps that empty compartment that you call a head ought to be attached to the nearest train; it might be used, in the least, to store coal for the engines."
Dumbledore was nearly at the end of the book when he heard her call for lunch. Was it that late already?
"Ms. Granger," Dumbledore tried again. This time, Hermione did look up.
"Hello professor," she smiled at him, working a crick out of her wrist, "what can I do for you?"
"Ah, nothing dire, Hermione, I just thought I'd drop in for a chat. I see you are taken with your research."
"Oh yes! This is fascinating stuff, " she gestured to the papers lying all over her desk, "Jonathan gave me quite a bit to think about, and I wanted to finish as much as I could before the students arrived in two days."
"Interesting. Incidentally, I thought I'd ask you how your appointment with Jonathan went. I see you are pleased with the results."
"Jonathan was a dream," at which Dumbledore's shaggy eyebrows rose, and Hermione quickly realised her mistake. "What I mean is," she coloured a little, "he was such an intelligent man, and quite charming too!"
"You speak as if you found him quite…captivating."
"Err…"
"Ah, it's quite alright Hermione, you can tell me," Hermione was sure he was teasing.
"Very well," he continued after Hermione looked everywhere but at him for a minute, "would you humour me, and tell me, did you, perhaps, recognise him from anywhere?"
Hermione frowned and thought for a bit, before shaking her head definitely, "Not that I can recall professor, why do you ask?"
"No reason, I thought you might know him, he was quite, how can I put it, well known at a point in time."
"Definitely no, professor, although…"
"Yes?"
"He did seem oddly familiar, what I mean is, not from memory, but I thought about it and," Hermione paused, searching for the right words, "too good to be true."
"Would you elaborate on that?"
"Well," Hermione took her seat near the fireplace, "he was the exact image of a person, I, eh," she coloured and mumbled, "Like."
"Fascinating, and that struck you as odd then?"
"Not at that moment, but after I thought about it."
"Ah, so you spent a lot of thought on Jonathan."
Hermione was red, she was sure of it, "I spent some time, not a lot."
Dumbledore merely beamed.
"Anyway," Hermione spoke, "Although his features were a bit flawed physically, his mind was perfect."
Dumbledore was pensive, and Hermione wondered where this was leading. On voicing out her thoughts, she did feel that Jonathan was too much of a dream to be true. Intelligent, charming and distinctly hot.
"Forgive me, Hermione, I must take your leave now," Dumbledore gathered the book he was reading and called for an owl to deliver it to its owner. Hermione was fascinated with how Portraits had their own world that the living had windows to, albeit, not windows too deep. She made a mental note to read up on it later.
Once the book was on it's way back to the owner, Dumbledore smiled, "I'm sure he wouldn't mind another meeting if you need it."
"Oh! He was very gracious, and was happy to invite me over anytime, provided I gave him a day's notice."
Now why would Hermione become awkward and embarrassed in simply mentioning that Jonathan was happy to entertain her again, unless…
Dumbledore stroked his beard and saved the thought for ammunition at a later time.
Someone was going to be very disconcerted, quite soon.
----------------------
"Tell me, what you used," Dumbledore tried again, and again.
"I didn't use anything! Now leave me alone!"
"You had to have done SOMETHING, there would be no other reason she would be that way."
"Stop it you.. Just leave it alone. I had no wish to let her see me other than how she would have."
"There are so many meanings to that sentence."
"Of course there are," anger seethed, "It's the English language, much like most other languages, words define meaning by context. Surely you knew that," a sneer surfaced.
"Come, come; you think me a fool."
"Must I justify that?"
"Please, if it nothing you used on yourself, what have you used on her? It might have side-effects!"
"Of course not!"
"You don't know that!"
"I absolutely do!" Jonathan exploded, "Never has it affected a healthy being is any way other than intended."
"So you admit you used something on her. What?"
"This is going to be a long night."
"You do not know the effect on pregnant women."
"I, what??" Panic swelled, "really?"
"You know the effects?"
"No you old fool, is she really?" Jonathan pointed somewhere near his midsection.
"What have you used?"
"No potion, a spell. Have there been any effects? What are they?" Jonathan's mind raced at the implications. Perhaps there was nothing to worry about?
"What spell? Mind altering? You have to tell me," Dumbledore pushed.
The younger man sighed, and pushed a silver strand behind his ear, "Alright, I used the Mirror Mind spell," he deflated, "I didn't want her to see me as I am, is she alright?"
"Oh Ms. Granger is fine," Dumbledore tried to remember the spell.
"Albus, what effects? How many months is she along, not more than 4 months, she had no noticeable swell.
"Oh?" Dumbledore hummed, "She isn't."
"WHAT?"
"You needn't worry, she isn't pregnant."
"YOU LYING OLD COOT!"
"Now, it was not a lie, I never said she was pregnant, I only said you didn't know what effect it had on pregnant women."
Jonathan wondered whether he should burn the portrait or rip it apart to shreds, or scrape off the pain with his bare nails till every last inch of the lying bastard was gone.
"Err," Dumbledore saw the rage cloud the other man's face, how his hands trembled and bunched into fists. Perhaps it was a bit over the line, but it was true, he didn't say Hermione was pregnant.
Apparently Jonathan didn't care, so Dumbledore gathered his robes, and fled.