Ok so reviews: I'm sorry if anyone is mad about Temari! I'm sorry! It's all a part of my plan…. That I'm making up as I go. But I do have an idea of where I'm going! I think….

Disclaimer: I'M JUST GANNA GO CRY! STOP ASKING! I DON'T OWN NARUTO! I SWEAR!

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I couldn't see; I couldn't breath. Suddenly my life had gone utterly black with no sign of returning. The only thing that ran through my mind was that one phrase, "It was Sabaku no Temari." No. No. NO! Why her? Why? Who was the person who choose her? It's not possible, she couldn't be killed, she … she was aggravatingly strong. My seemly black world then began to change as red infiltrated the edges and blurred within the abyss With the red, my eye sight seemed to return, I found myself in front of my Hokage again still within her office, her kneeing in front of me, seeing if I was alright. But now I had a raging desire burning through me to kill those who hurt her. Suddenly I felt a slap on the side of my face.

"Shikamaru? Are you with me?" The slap had made all of my hatred disappear but it was replaced by unbearable sadness and loneliness. Tears started to well in my eyes, and for the first time as a man I just let them fall. I didn't care that they were being seen. She was gone and so was my reason for living.

"Not her." I whispered to Tsunade, "Not her, Please anyone but her."

I was then caught in a warm embrace within Tsunade's arms.

"Shikamaru," She said as her voice also shook, "I know you love her, but do you really think this is how she would want you to be? Completely broken with nowhere to go? You know as well as I she'd be banging you on the head calling you lazy and telling you to get up and move forward."

Everything she was saying was true, but still the sadness that enveloped me was unrelenting, I couldn't do it. When did it come to this when had that woman dug so deeply within me that I couldn't remember what parts of me was actually mine anymore. When had it gotten to the point that I could stop my tears? Her face had vividly come back into my mind and I could see her scowl. She was telling me to stop it, to get off my ass and do something. Be a man, she told me starting to smirk. And as if she was really there, I did. I pulled back from the warmth of the hug and looked straight into Tsunade's eyes.

"Your right," I told her, "She wouldn't want me here like this. The least I can do now is… is help set things right between our villages." And it was true; Suna would be the only thing that would still tie me to my lost woman as troublesome as she may be. The tears on my face slowly began to dry as I walked from the office racing home to collect my things for my journey. I packed my essentials and began racing to the gates toward Suna at full speed all tears forgotten as her face wafted through my mind. My face returned to usual calm and emptiness, although the sadness from my terrible news remain within my eyes I was still able to look forward, keep going, just as long as I was getting closer to any connections I had to the troublesome women.

I leaped from tree to tree through the Konoha woods. There was only one thing that I regretted. That one thing was telling the troublesome woman how much she truly means to me; to tell her how much I love her, even now. To tell her that I can't bear to live without her. Several things seemed to be breaking in my mind, visions of a future and a family with Temari disappeared even though I never remembered them every being there before. One tear again slowly made it's way down my face but I quickly wiped it away, I realized immediately that I would never have that; that I couldn't ever have that. The only one I wanted that future with was gone and I couldn't get it back.

The forest got dark and I set up camp staring at the stars above me, I wondered if she could see me if she was really watching. As the thought flickered past in my head I said softly to the stars.

"Sabaku no Temari, I love you."

A slight smile came to my face as I though of how true those words were as tears welled lightly in my eyes. I could see her smirking back at me with a look that said 'I won.' She stuck out her tongue and walked back into the stars. As I watched her slowly melt away, I drifted off into sleep as she wondered throughout all my dreams.

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I arrived at the Suna gates two and a half days later. The guards bowed slightly but it seemed only because they were given orders to. A shinobi eyed me preciously and beckoned me forward. I came to stand in front of him.

"You are Nara Shikamaru from the Leaf village?" he asked.

"Yes."

He then grunted.

"Come with me then."

He led me straight to the Kazekage tower, and I was hit with a wave of memories. I held back my unmanly tears as I walked within the building towards Gaara's quarters. The shinobi knocked on the door and announced my presence. I walked in the room as the shinobi waited outside the doors. I surprised me to see that instead of Gaara, Kankuro sat in the Kazekage's seat.

"Nara."

"Kankuro. May I ask where The Kazekage is currently?"

"He's on a little mission he gave to himself apparently. He said I was in charge until he got back and left. No one's seen him since. I don't even know where he went. Well anyway I'm here to greet you. So hey, welcome to Suna again. Hasn't changed much since last time you've been here. You have the same quarters and everything too."

"All right, then I'll just head there and put my stuff down."

"Yeah, yeah just come back fast. I got to lay down the basics of what you'll be doing here and as soon as I do that I have my lunch break." He cracked a small smirk and then turned Gaara's chair to stare out the window as my signal to leave. I left the room and headed to the ambassador's residence that was next to the Hokage building on the left side, nestled between the large building and a pub that was used by most of the Sunagakure people.

As I opened the door and crossed the threshold I felt as though I was watching a movie I could see myself on the couch as she threw her fan onto my head multiple times trying to tell me that I couldn't spend my whole day just laying around and if I was late for that meeting in five minutes she'd cut me into pieces and serve me to her brothers on a platter. I closed the door and silently made my way to the bedroom I tossed my bag to the ground and sat on the bed. I fell back staring at the ceiling and let the held tears cascade from my eyes covering my face with my arm, trying to stop them but they were relentless and silently ran down my face as I began to hope against hope that this was just a nightmare and I'd be able to wake up and see her wonderfully evil smirk again dancing across her lips.

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Alright, yes, Shikamaru is crying a lot but hey when people who are close to you die it hits you multiple times and you just can't help it. I've seen many a men cry and I never think anything less of them, so damn you if you think different!

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