"Should we wake her up?"

"It's still early Jonathan, err… Severus."

"Gee, you think? The woman crash landed in my home at 4 in the morning. Of course it's still early."

"Keep your voice down, you'll wake her up."

"I will wake her up, if you don't stop behaving like I care!"

"Don't bother, I'm awake."

"Decided to join the living have you?"

"Ha-bloody-har."

"My, my, such language; Now," Jonathan, err, Snape's voice was cold, "explain to me why you were trespassing and scattering dirt through my living room, at such an unearthly hour, so I might consider leaving you un-hexed."

But Hermione was not exactly paying attention. She was staring at him and moving closer.

"Stop, or I will hex you."

"Your hair…"

"Are you surprised I have hair or are you thinking of pulling it out? Perhaps you are wondering why it is not as messy and bushy as yours?"

Hermione stopped and glared. Her hair was not SO bushy.

"I was considering just asking you what happened, but now I think I'll pull it out if I can."

"Right, and I would maybe sit here and watch you?"

Hermione was standing in the living room of her former professor, who was supposed to be dead, and they were arguing like an old couple.

She collapsed laughing onto the nearest chair.

That drew surprise and a moment later, anger onto Snape's face.

"You think it's funny do you? I think I Will give you something to remember me by before I throw you out of my home."

"No," Hermione took a minute to compose herself, "the whole situation is so extraordinary!"

"I would think nothing extraordinary of this. You, a nosy little schoolgirl digging her nose into business that shouldn't concern you; Rather ordinary for someone like you."

"Don't you ever speak without insulting?"

"Not to those who are undeserving of it."

"Honestly! You were dead!"

"Then you should be very afraid. How can you be sure I am not one of the creatures of the un-dead?"

"Inferi are not exactly capable of intelligent conversation, let alone sarcasm, and vampires can't walk in the sunlight, as you did the other day."

"Well, I suppose I must correct you, for the sake of sounding smug," he had a put upon expression, "Inferi can be very well preserved, and be under the control of the Imperius, and therefore be commanded to be intelligent, and just because idiotic muggles say vampires cannot walk in sunlight or can be chased with garlic and stakes, doesn't make it true."

"Not entirely accurate, but I'll let it pass, for the sake of sounding indulgent."

"Not entirely… why you little…"

"Children, children! Will you both kindly shut it?"

"Albus! You're the one to talk! Spoiling my peace with this woman."

"I'm spoiling? You have not left my thoughts either as Jonathan or yourself, for weeks on end! It is you who is the intruder!"

"Why, Ms. Granger, it seems you might be sparing a great deal of thought on me. Could you have a bit of a crush on your nasty greasy potions' master? Harbouring secret desires are you?"

Hermione sputtered, "I will not stand here being insulted by you!"

"Then next time," Snape's voice was a hiss, "Mind your own bloody business, and stay out of my House!"

"Oh the nerve!" Hermione dusted her already sooty clothes just a little more on the carpet and furniture closest to her, and stormed to the Floo.

"WILL YOU TWO SHUT UP! No one will leave here at this time!"

Hermione flushed in embarrassment and Snape merely glowered at the portrait. The meddling bastard.

"Now, Severus, you invited her to your home anytime she wanted, so this is not trespassing. Literally."

"And YOU!" Dumbledore cut off Hermione's triumphant 'HA! So there!'

"You, Ms. Granger, were the one who desired the meeting in the first place, so both of you brought this on yourselves. Deal with it!"

Snape's expression was now only petulant, having noted the truth, and Hermione was now a little apologetic.

"I'm sorry I came here un-announced," she turned to Snape.

"I'm sorry I invited you here."

"What? Albus!"

"Telling on me? Very grown up Granger."

"Well you certainly look very adult, pouting like an infant."

The both glowered at each other.

Albus sighed and sat down. It was going to be a long night, rather, long day.

"Do sit down, the both of you. Severus call for tea, would you?"

"I am not your servant anymore Albus."

"Oh stop it. I'm tired of this. You two can settle this like adults, or I can bring in Minerva," they stared at him in abject fear, "Maybe Molly?" They stared at him in horror.

"I'll call for tea."

"And I'll just sit here in my pyjamas, waiting for said tea."

"Good." It helped to put the fear of such women in these two. Severus would hate Molly's tears and smothering hugs and Hermione was still not through with the ear twisting from Molly; and neither of them wanted Minerva set them straight. She was a tough Scotswoman. You always feared a Scotswoman.

It was the perfect threat.

Well, Dumbledore had managed the first step, and they said the first step was hardest. It was going to be a long night, and Hermione had to be there for the opening feast tomorrow night.

The two of them had resorted to decidedly less hostility, seeing that neither of them had had a good night's rest. The sun was going to rise in a little while.

Tea and hot buttery scones had made the two content, and less murderous. Dumbledore decided it was time to talk.

"Severus," I know this is rather hard for you, but I think it would be for the best if you explained everything to her.

"Her? Whatever for? All she would help me with is my demise," he glared at the glowering woman, "from over-exposure to annoying and pointless questions."

"You didn't seem to mind at all the other day!"

"I was only being who you wanted me to be, doesn't mean I personally enjoyed it."

"How did you manage it anyway? Did you extend the life of polyjuice? Or perhaps you used a long lasting glamour. If it was a glamour, it was a bloody good one."

"See Albus, she can kill with pointless questions."

"How is it pointless?"

"To me, they are. Since I already know how I did it."

"Unfair! I was the victim!"

"Victim my arse! I showed you the best time you've had in months, I'm sure!"

"How can you be so sure? Maybe I've been having a better one outside."

"Right, and house elves are rebelling as we speak. You are the bloody know-it-all who drives everyone away with your self proclaimed intelligence and of course! You're intolerable with your questions and your 'Honestly! Don't you read!' lines."

"Don't call me a know-it-all!"

"Don't pretend to be one!"

"I'm not pretending to be anything!"

"Your whole self is a pretence!"

"Shut up Snape! You're the one to talk!"

"I pretended to save the bloody Wizarding world from destruction!"

"That you helped start in the first place! If it wasn't for you, Lily and James Potter would still be alive!"

Hermione slapped a hand across her mouth, and looked at Dumbledore. He shook his head and left. She was on her own now.

Snape had gone white with fury. Hermione wanted to take back her words. She wanted to say "Look what you made me do!"

She shut her mouth and waited.

Snape had bunched his fist, and the part of his hair that had turned silver, had a strange bluish glow. She wondered if she could make a run for it, but she was Gryffindor for a reason: mulish (and often foolish) courage.

"I'm sorry!" she whispered into the intolerable silence, "I should have never said that!"

"Get out, Ms. Granger."

"What?"

"Get. Out. Leave. Now!" Hermione sniffed and held back tears.

"OUT!"

Hermione fled.