Synopsis:
After a forced marriage filled with violence, Bella escapes from Edward with their unborn child. Almost four years later, Edward has found her and their daughter and he refuses to let them go.
In reality, hope is the worst of all evils, because it prolongs man's torments.
- Friedrich Nietzsche
Chapter 6
With Arms Wide Open
Edward yelled out in frustration as he got into his car. Slamming the door shut, he didn't have time to think, to feel anything just yet. Pulling out from in front of Bella's house, he called Dean on his phone.
As soon as the line was picked up, he talked, not waiting for any formalities.
"Have security set up a perimeter around the house. If she leaves, call me."
He didn't wait for a response before he hung up, throwing the phone onto the passenger seat in anger.
Forks was now beginning to show signs of movement as people went out to collect their morning papers, and the stores began opening their doors. The sun was barely visible through the clouds, but Edward was lost to all of that. His mind was still on what had happened that morning.
When he'd boarded that plane in Chicago, Edward had gone with the reasoning that he needed to help Bella. That it was his obligation to help her and their daughter. That he would provide for Bella and be a good father to Alexis. That if Bella wanted nothing between them, he would abide by it. That if during that time she was to move on and find someone else, he would let her go. That he would not force anything between them ever again. He knew he would always love her, always wish he'd done things differently, but he promised himself he would not pursue her. She deserved someone better, someone who was capable of an unadulterated kind of love, a love that only cherished and never sought to oppress. He knew with certainty that he was not capable of loving her this way. If she was within his reach again, he'd only seek to possess, to dominate.
But from the moment he'd entered her bedroom, all of that went out the window. Just the sight of her had crushed his reasoning, and when his finger had brushed her lips, it had re-ignited all the urges in him. The need and the want to have her, mixed in with four years of missing, was a dangerous combination. The desire to make her his had returned. He knew then and there that no matter what happened, he would never be able to let her go. He was ready to do what ever it took to regain her trust, to get her back. He would not force her to do anything, but he would try his hardest to build something between them.
Yet her vicious words had thrown that plan out the window. She didn't want anything to do with him, and she never would. He could feel the deep hatred emanating from her. He knew grabbing her was wrong. It was what got them into that mess in the first place, but he'd become so frustrated. As he drove through Forks, he couldn't accept it. He couldn't accept that it was really over between them. He knew there had to be something, something still left between them. Something that remained after the fires of his obsession had burned everything else around them. And there was.
Alexis.
Bella had told him that she never told Alexis about him. That meant he would be able to start from scratch. He was determined to do right by his daughter. He would do everything within his power to make sure Alexis and Bella were taken care of and maybe, just maybe, that might prove to Bella that he had changed. That he had learned from his mistakes. It was a long shot, but it was the only hope he had.
Still, he was already off to a bad start. He knew it should have been Bella's decision to let him meet Alexis, not his. The determination in her eyes told him that she would have never let that happen of her own accord. So, he forced her to. He'd hoped that by giving her time to tell Alexis about him he'd pacify her. But the sound of her slamming her window shut as he left, said it hadn't.
As he drove through street after street, the nervousness of finally getting to meet Alexis began settling in. He realized he should show up with something to give her, a gift of some kind that would endear him to the little girl.
After turning onto another road, Edward finally spotted his destination. The local toy store was small, as was everything else in the town, but it would have to do. Walking into the store, Edward didn't even know where to begin. There were toys of all sorts of shapes and colors lining the walls. Toys that buzzed and blinked, as well as others that didn't seem to do anything at all.
Walking down the aisle closest to the door, he began pulling toys down as he went to get a better look at them. He didn't know what kind of toy Alexis would even like. Dolls? All girls liked dolls, right? Would this be too big for her? Is she too big for this? Girls liked pink things, right? But if she was anything like her mother, she would despise that colour.
Edward was so caught up in his thoughts, he didn't see the toy store employee until she was right beside him.
"Need any help?" she asked.
When his eyes met hers, she seemed taken aback for a moment. "I'm sorry, but your eyes look very familiar. Is this your first time in town?"
"Yes, this is my first time in Forks." Looking at her nametag, he saw that her name was Bree. "And I would like your help. I'm looking for something for a three-year-old girl. But I don't know where to start."
Bree looked into his eyes for a moment longer, then she shrugged and motioned for him to follow her. "Well, you're in the wrong section first of all. This is the baby section." She led him three rows down. "Now, do you know what her favourite character is?" She motioned at the line of toys on the shelf. "That's usually the best way to start."
"Character?"
"Yeah, like a cartoon character. Usually at three years, children develop some kind of obsession with a character they see on television. If you know her favourite, that will score you some bonus points in the gift department," Bree explained.
"No. I don't know what her favourite character is." Edward hated to admit that he didn't even know that simple thing about his own daughter.
"Oh, a gift for a friend's kid then," Bree guessed looking away.
Edward didn't want to correct her by delving into the fact that he was meeting his daughter for the first time, that he was really hoping this gift could some how make up for his absence for the past three years, as ridiculous as it sounded. At the very least, he thought that this gift could perhaps act as some kind of peace offering to show Bella he meant well.
"Well, is the parent a good friend or not so much?" Bree asked.
"Why does it matter?"
"Well, if you don't like the parents, and it's just an obligation, you should get something that makes a lot of noise or a lot of mess. Either one will irritate them." Bree turned and pulled something from the shelf and handed it to him. It was a box containing some kind of green slime. Edward knew that this gift would not get him any points with Bella who was such a neat person.
"Kids actually play with this kind of stuff?" Edward asked, raising his eyebrow. "It's nothing but gunk."
Bree's head tilted to the side as she answered, "You don't spend much time around kids, huh?"
Edward shook his head.
"Her mother and I are not close, but this isn't a vindictive gift," Edward said, putting the box back on the shelf.
"How about a doll?"
Now it was Edward's turn to laugh. "If she's anything like her mother, she's going to rip the head of the doll and throw it at me."
Bree looked confused at what he said, but Edward shrugged it off. Looking back on the shelf, Edward scanned the line of toys again. He wanted to get Alexis a good gift, but knowing so little about her, he didn't know what a good gift was.
He sighed in defeat. "Thanks for your help, but I think I'll let her chose her gift," he said, as he headed towards the door.
"Usually the safest bet," Bree answered, turning to leave him.
As Edward was about to head out the door, Bree called out, "Alexis."
Turning, Edward looked back at her confused so Bree explained.
"Are you related to Alexis Swan?" she asked.
"Yes. She's my daughter."
Bree nodded. "She got her eyes from you. Alexis comes in here from time to time with Bella," she explained. "Usually just to window shop though. I don't know what her favourite toy, so I can't help you there."
Edward nodded. The toy store wasn't expensive, but he knew that with Bella's financial situation, toys and other such indulges was not something she could give to Alexis. Edward waved again as he left the store.
Walking back out to his car, Edward saw that it was only 9:30 a.m. He still had some time before he told Bella he would be there. He wondered how she would explain his arrival to Alexis. With Alexis, he didn't have to sift through the ashes with the hope of finding something, like he would have to with Bella.
"So, you finally got the girl to come around." Emmett laughed raising his glass to Edward.
Edward rolled his eyes in response.
It was long after midnight, and Edward, Jasper and Emmett were in the V.I.P section of one of Florida's finest nightclubs. From their spot on the balcony, they could see the flow of people dancing to the pumping music below.
Emmett and Jasper's idea of a bachelor party was to get drunk out of their minds while teasing Edward about actually taking the plunge of marriage.
"Geez brother, I don't even understand why you would do it. Why tie yourself to one girl? That's so..." Emmett paused, searching for the right word. "Tacky."
"What's so tacky about wanting to be with one person?" Edward asked.
"Well for starters, you'll be the only one," Emmett said.
"Jasper is only seeing one girl, why are you down my throat?"
"Alice would never agree to marriage. Not unless there was a trail of pills leading up to the alter," Emmett joked.
Jasper shot him a dirty look.
"Look," Edward said, "Bella is the only person I would ever want. I don't see the point of waiting."
Emmett gave him a devious look. "Speaking of waiting. Are you and Bella gonna do the dirty deed on your honeymoon?"
"And why would I tell you that?"
"Whatever, man," Emmett said, as he raised the glass to take another drink. "Let's forget about that. Tonight, we are single men. So we might as well enjoy it."
Turning from the crowd he motioned for Edward and Jasper to follow him through a door in the back. The door led out to a hall. Emmett led them to another door farthest from the one they'd just come out of. This time, the room they entered was dark, and when Edward's eyes adjusted to the lack of light, he could see lines of tables scattered throughout the room. There were poles coming out of each table, and wound around each pole was a woman barely dressed in skimpy clothes. Edward guessed that the music playing was supposed to be soft and sensual, but all it did was give him a headache. There were already a small group of men being entertained.
"A strip club? Really, Emmett?" Edward asked in disbelief.
"Oh, come on! Why not? You're going to be handed the ol' ball and chain soon. Might as well enjoy your last bit of freedom."
"And what would Bella think?" Edward demanded.
"Who cares? It's none of her business," Emmett said, shrugging.
Edward turned to hear Jasper's view on the whole idea, but Jasper just shrugged. "Why not?"
"I don't like this," Edward said.
"Whats the problem?" Emmett asked, exasperated.
"It's wrong. I'm basically cheating on Bella, and I'm not going to sit around and do that."
Edward turned to head out the door, but Emmett stopped him.
"Come on. It's just one night. Bella won't even know," Emmett reasoned.
As Edward looked back toward the dancers, his resolve wavered. "I don't know."
"Don't think about it," Emmett said.
Going behind Edward, he pushed him over to one of the tables in the center of the room. Then shoving him into one of the seats, he and Jasper took the chairs on either side of him.
"So what would you boys like?" one of the women asked, motioning for two of her friends to join her.
Emmett pulled out his wallet and flashed several hundred-dollar bills.
"We're ready to tip big, so give as good as you can," he told them.
All three women smiled at each other.
They each took one of the Cullen boys' hands and pulled them back into the hallway.
Jasper and Emmett disappeared through two doors at the far end. The woman pulling Edward's hand, led him to a center door.
"Those your brothers?" she asked, when they both stepped into the room. Just like the previous room, this one was dark. It had all the commodities of a regular room, like a bed, a dresser, and an adjoined bathroom. It reeked of alcohol and sweat. There was a window on the other side, from which Edward could hear the sounds of city and see the lights.
"Unfortunately," Edward said, answering her question.
Pulling him over to the bed, she began reaching for his belt. In one quick movement, she had it unbuckled and began pulling his zipper down, but Edward's hand stopped her from going any further.
"Wait," he said. He couldn't erase the guilt of what he was doing. He knew it was wrong. No matter how much Emmett tried to justify it. It was like the ultimate betrayal of Bella's trust. Especially seeing as things were finally going well for them, he couldn't do anything that would jeopardize that. Also, he wanted his first time to be with Bella. Not with some hooker in a booze smelling room.
"Don't worry, babe. I can make you feel good," the woman said in a lascivious voice, her hand roaming up Edward's chest and into his hair. She grabbed a fistful of his hair, and began pulling him down to her, but putting his hands on her shoulders, he pushed her away.
"What the fuck?" she demanded.
"I can't do this," he said, re-buckling his belt. Looking at the woman, Edward knew she couldn't be much older than Bella. He couldn't help but wonder what had happened in her life to land her in such an occupation as that.
Pulling out his wallet, Edward handed her several hundred-dollar bills.
"For your troubles," he said, smiling slightly.
She raised her eyebrows at him, cautious. Then shrugging, she swiped the money from his hand and left the room. When the door shut behind her, Edward sat on the bed, burying his head in his hands.
The night hadn't really turned out as he planned, but he'd learned not to expect too much from Jasper and Emmett, so he wasn't surprised. At that moment, he wished he was back at the hotel with Bella. Even though they'd only been apart for a few hours, he missed having her in his arms. The last couple of days had been the best of his life. When she'd said she would give their relationship a chance, he thought it was too good to be true. But he'd wanted it so bad that he hadn't needed much convincing to believe her.
From that moment on, Edward had become determined to do everything he could to prove to her that his feelings for her were more than just the fleeting desire to possess, but rather that all his actions had been solely based on the deep love he felt for her. He'd hoped that his soft touches and gentle words would help erase all the pain he'd caused her from the time they'd started dating to when he ripped her away from her life, but the fading bruises on her skin showed that what he'd done would never fully be erased. It was the risk he'd taken when he'd taken her; the risk of always having to live with the guilt. But if it meant she would be his forever, it was a risk he had been ready to take.
Edward didn't care what Emmett had said. He loved Bella, and he knew she would be the only one for him.
He wanted to call her, but it was almost two in the morning, and he knew she would be asleep. He knew Jasper and Emmett no longer had a conscious so they would follow through. So that left Edward to salvage what was left of his bachelor party alone.
When Edward pulled up close to Bella's house, the clock on his dashboard said it was 9:59. Pulling off to the side of the road, he parked amongst the trees, some distance from the house so he'd be able to walk to them instead of his car announcing his arrival. Taking a deep breath, Edward got out of his car and walked the short distance. Before he emerged from among the trees, the sight before him made him pause. Then he smiled.
Edward could see Bella and Alexis, but they could not see him. Alexis was lying on her back over Bella's knees, as Bella continuously tickled her. The little girl's laughter seemed to circle the air around Edward and made his heart swell. In Alexis's hand was an old, stuffed animal that may have resembled a bear at some point in time. Now it looked like a bunch of rags sewed together. Edward now wished he had bought a better toy for her. Even a box of gunk had to be better than that.
Taking a moment to really observe Bella and Alexis, Edward couldn't deny that they both looked happy. That even though things weren't ideal for her at the moment, Bella really had been able to build a life for her and Alexis. He was also relieved. Relieved that what Jacob had said about Bella being disgusted that a monster's child was growing in her didn't seem to be true. From what he could see, Bella never blamed Alexis for her father's sins.
Just like with Bella, the photos Jenks had given to him of them had not done her justice. Edward couldn't deny the shame he felt that he was about to uproot Alexis's life and turn it upside down. He was also turning Bella's world upside down again. The last time that had happened, everything that could go wrong between them, had. Edward hoped that this time that would not be the case.
Stepping out from behind the trees, it was several seconds before either of them noticed him. Bella was the first one to spot him, and in the brief second that Edward and Bella's eyes met, Edward could see the hatred reflected in Bella's eyes. He faltered slightly, before he was able to recompose himself and make his way to them. When she spoke to Alexis, Bella's voice was kind, and her eyes grew softer.
"Look whose here," Bella said to Alexis, pulling her into a sitting position onto Bella's lap. Edward watched as Alexis gripped that raggedy toy in her hand tighter. Her green eyes, so similar to his, looked up at him. Edward walked until he was closer to them, and then he stooped so Alexis wouldn't have to look up so high. Bella was watching him over her head.
"Hello," was all Edward could muster up. His throat suddenly felt very dry.
"Hi," Alexis's voice was timid as she answered. She began rubbing the bear's fur between her fingers as she stared at Edward.
Edward didn't know what else to say to her, and Bella didn't look like she wanted to help him, so he was grateful when Alexis was the one to continue the conversation.
"Your eyes look just like mine," she said, staring into Edward's eyes.
"Yes, they do. Just like yours."
"Why?" Alexis asked.
Edward looked at Bella. He didn't know how much she told Alexis about him in the brief time since he last saw her.
But Bella offered no assistance as she observed Edward and Alexis's meeting with deep regard.
"Well," Edward began. He didn't know how else to say it, so he went with the truth. "I'm your dad. So you have some traits from me and some from your mother."
"Like what from you?"
Edward paused for a few seconds, zoning in on the similar facial features between him and Alexis.
"Well, other than your eye colour, your smile."
"And your love for music," Bella said suddenly. Looking up from Alexis, Edward saw Bella was staring right at him and when she spoke again, even though she was talking to Alexis, her eyes never left Edward's. "You got that from your dad."
"And from mommy?" Alexis asked.
"Well, just about everything else," Edward said, his eyes were locked on Bella's. It was quiet then, as Bella and Edward seemed to be searching each other's eyes. Edward was searching for hope in hers, while Bella searching for the monster in his.
Finally tearing her eyes from Edward's, Bella said, "Lexie, why don't you go ride your tricycle for a second while I talk to your dad."
"Ride cycle-bikle?" Alexis asked, laughing.
"Yes," Bella answered, tickling her side.
"Cycle-bikle?" Edward asked.
"It's what she calls the tricycle," Bella explained, without looking up.
Alexis handed Bella the bear and climbed off her lap. The tricycle was parked next to the front door. It was rusted in some places and the red and yellow paint was faded. Just like the bear, it looked like it had seen better days. Edward watched as Alexis pushed the bike to the porch steps. He stood and helped her carry it down.
"Thank you," she said.
"You're welcome."
Climbing onto the bike, Edward watched as Alexis began riding the bike up and down the driveway. Every few feet it would tip over, but that didn't faze her. She just got back on and kept going. He wondered if it was safe for her to be riding so close to the road. It wasn't busy, but his heart still raced when ever she got too close.
"Should she be riding so close to the road?" he asked, turning to Bella. But she wasn't watching Alexis. Her eyes were still on Edward. Her face was confused.
Bella ignored his question and instead asked one of her own.
"Why are you doing this?" she asked.
Edward shrugged, taking a seat next to her. "I already told you. I want to meet her. I want to be a part of her life."
Being this close to Bella was hard. Edward wanted so badly to reach out and touch her, to pull her into his arms and promise to never let go. But doing that would be detrimental to his plan of proving to her that he'd changed. Also, he was pretty sure that any touch from him would only disgust her.
"Why?" Bella asked, still confused.
Edward thought carefully before he answered. He wanted to tell her how much both she and Alexis meant to him. How he would do anything to get them back, for them to be a real family. Yet he didn't want to scare her with his intensity, so he answered as honestly as he could.
"Because I made a lot of mistakes, and this is my chance to make up for it."
His answer only confused Bella more.
Looking back at Alexis, Edward saw that she was watching both of them. Her expression was thoughtful, and there was a slight crease between her eyebrows. Edward realized that just like her mother, Alexis had the ability to observe undetected.
When she rode over to where they were sitting, she asked Bella, "What are we doing today?"
"What do you want to do?" Bella asked.
Alexis thought for a second. "I want to go to the beach."
"Okay, put the bike back on the porch, and we'll go."
Edward stood again to help Alexis carry it up the steps.
"Are you coming with us?" she asked him, after putting the bike back by the door.
Edward was careful not to catch Bella's eye.
"Would you like me to go with you?" Edward asked.
"Yeah."
"Okay, then I'll come along," Edward said, cheered slightly that at least one of them wanted him there.
"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" Bella asked; her eyes narrowed as she looked at Edward. He could see it was taking every ounce of self-control she had to not yell.
"No, I don't have anywhere else to be," he said, smiling. "I'm free the whole day."
"Okay!" Alexis interjected, oblivious to the tension between her parents.
Bella followed her to the truck with Edward right behind them.
When Bella opened the back door to buckle Alexis in, Edward stopped. "Do you want to take my car?"
"Why?"
"Because it's safer."
Buckling Alexis in, Bella handed her the ragged old bear, before closing the door -ignoring Edward's suggestion.
"If you don't like it, you can leave," she said, walking to the driver's side.
Edward didn't even hesitate before he got into the passenger seat, much to Bella's dismay.
The ride was quiet as they made their way. At a red light, Bella glanced into the rear-view mirror, and the sight of something made her do a double take. Then turning around she glanced back through the back glass. Then she looked back at Edward in disgust.
"What?" he asked.
She didn't answer.
Turning, Edward could see the reason behind Bella's anger. A black SUV drove right behind them. Edward knew Bella would recognize it as his security team. He hadn't instructed them to follow him, but he should have known they would nevertheless.
Pulling out his phone, he called Dean again.
"Don't follow," he said, when the line was picked up.
Turning back to Bella, Edward saw that her hands were clenched on the steering wheel, and she was looking straight ahead, refusing to meet his eyes.
"Why didn't you tell them to leave?" she said between gritted teeth. Edward passed his hand through his hair in frustration. It seemed that no matter what he did, it only angered her more.
So instead, he turned his attention to Alexis. She still had the bear clutched in her arms, so he started there.
"That's a nice bear you have there. Does he have a name?" he asked.
"Uh-huh. His name is Maisie bear," Alexis said proudly, holding him up for Edward to see better.
"Isn't Maisie a girl's name?" Edward asked, confused.
"Nu-uh. He's a boy, so it's a boy's name."
Edward nodded. "Where did you get him?"
"Mommy bought him for me a long time ago," she said.
"Okay." Then he remembered his failed toy store visit from earlier. "Do you have a favourite character?" he asked.
"Character?" she asked. "What's that?"
"Like a favourite show. What is your favourite show to watch at home?" Edward explained.
"We don't have a Tv at home, but when I go by Auntie Evans, I watch Tv there. I like to watch Backenal."
"What?" Edward asked, turning to Bella.
Bella pronounced the proper name. Edward wasn't familiar with it of course.
Turning back to Alexis he said, "How would you like to go to the toy store and pick out something?"
"Okay!" she answered excitedly.
When Edward looked at Bella, her face was riddled with skepticism. "You know you can't buy her affection right?" she said.
"I wasn't planning to. I just wanted to get her something," Edward said.
The place was empty when Bella pulled into the parking lot at First Beach in La Push. Even though it wasn't raining, the sky was still too overcast to go in the water.
Bella explained to him when he pointed it out, Alexis didn't want to actually go in the water, just be by the seaside.
Alexis didn't even wait for them, before she bounded down the steps that led to the sand, then onto the beach. Edward and Bella trailed behind her. The bear was left in the car.
They were both silent as they walked along the beach behind Alexis, but for Edward it didn't matter. He was glad to just be close to her again. He ached with the desire to reach out and touch her, or at least for her to meet his eyes again. He wanted to see if there was any hope for them, but as they walked Bella kept her eyes focused on Alexis or on the water before them. Her arms were wrapped around her center.
Half way down the beach, Alexis spotted someone up ahead.
"Sam!" she called out, running to the person.
Bella's head snapped up to the sound, and then a small smile crept onto her face. Edward's eyes followed her gaze to see the man who actually made Bella smile. Something he had not been able to do in a long time.
Sam, who was just in the process of throwing the stick in his hand for the dog at his feet to fetch, looked up at the sound of his name being called. When he spotted Alexis, he smiled.
"How have you been?" he said, kneeling down to give Alexis a hug.
"Good," Alexis answered, reaching down to pet the black dog at his feet.
By then Edward and Bella had caught up to them.
Sam caught Edward's eyes, just for a second, before it went to Bella's.
"How have you been Bella?" he asked, giving her a hug as well.
Edward didn't like it. He didn't like the way this Sam person was touching her. To him, their hug lasted much long than it should have. He also didn't like the way Sam was looking at Bella.
As if just remembering Edward there, Bella introduced him. "Sam, this is Edward. Edward, Sam."
"Hey," Sam said to Edward.
"Hey." Edward was glad Sam didn't hold out his hand for the customary handshake, because as much as he wanted to rip Sam's arm out of his socket and beat him with it, he was sure that wouldn't go well with Bella. He didn't like the short introduction that Bella gave him. Shouldn't Sam be informed that he was Alexis's father? But from the way Sam seemed to regard Edward's eyes, it seemed he had already made the connection.
"And this is Quil," Alexis said, taking it upon herself to introduce the dog, because clearly her mother forgot.
"How are things on the Reservation?" Bella asked.
"Same as usual. Some of the local boys have been causing quite a disturbance." He shrugged. Every few seconds, his eyes would dart to Edward's. Edward could see the questions in it. But in the few minutes that he and Bella stood talking, he didn't ask about it.
"Well, I better get going," he said eventually. "I have to stop off at Sue's before they close for the afternoon."
"Okay. Tell Emily I said hi," Bella said.
"I will."
With last goodbyes, he and Quil made their way to the steps that would lead them to the parking lot.
When Sam was out of sight, Bella headed towards a piece of driftwood as Alexis began playing in the sand. As much as he wanted to talk to Bella, Edward decided to use this moment to spend some time with Alexis. Also, he wanted to ask Alexis something. Something that he knew Bella would not approve of.
Sitting in the sand next to her, Edward watched as Alexis began making the foundation for a small sandcastle.
"You're very good with that," he said.
"Thank you. Mommy and I come here sometime so I can build one," she explained. "Sometimes Sam helps me. Quil likes to eat the sand though."
Her explanation served as a good introduction for Edward's next question.
"Do you see Sam a lot?" he asked.
"Not a lot a lot. Sometimes he comes to town, other times we see him here."
"Oh. Does Sam ever come over to your house?" Edward asked, afraid of the answer.
"Yup."
Edward's heart sank.
"I was a flower girl at their wedding," Alexis said.
"Whose wedding?"
"Sam and Emily's," Alexis explained.
"Sam is married?" Edward didn't recall seeing a wedding band on his finger. Then again, he had been so preoccupied with the way Sam was hugging Bella, that he hadn't noticed much else.
"Of course, silly. That's why they have weddings," Alexis said laughing.
Edward mulled over this new revelation. His jealousy had been unwarranted. Sam was already taken. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't notice Alexis looking at him.
"Were you and mommy married?" she asked.
Edward thought carefully, something he realized he would have to do a lot around Alexis, before he answered.
"Yes, we were." He didn't want to explain that legally they still were.
"Mommy doesn't seem very happy that you're here," she said.
Edward couldn't deny that. "No, she's not."
"Why?"
"Well, you see," he began, but he was stumped. How do you explain to your three year-old daughter the obsession and possessiveness that her mother brought out in him? How do you explain to a three-year-old how you hurt her mother time and time again? How do you explain any of it? To Edward it was simple. You didn't.
"I made a lot of mistakes before. Mistakes that weren't very nice." That was the best way he could explain it.
"Mistakes?" she asked.
"Yes. Have you ever known someone to make a mistake?" he asked.
Alexis thought for a minute. "Last month, Ben pulled off Maisie Bear's leg."
Edward nodded. "How did that make you feel?"
"Sad."
"Well," Edward said," I made some mistakes that made your mom very sad as well. So we decided to go our separate ways." Sad didn't even describe what he'd made Bella feel during the course of their marriage. Too many times he'd reduced Bella to tears by his words or his actions.
"Oh," was all Alexis said. "Well, Ben didn't apologize for what he did, and that made me even more sad; that he didn't say he was sorry."
Edward knew what Alexis was trying to say, but he doubted a simple 'I'm sorry' could ever make up for what he'd done to Bella, and he told Alexis as such.
"But you're here now," Alexis said, as if to clarify.
Edward smiled. "Yes, I'm here now."
"And you're not going anywhere?"
"No, I'm not going anywhere."
Alexis nodded, as if some answer she had, had just been answered.
Looking up, Edward saw that Bella was not looking at them. Instead, her eyes remained focus on one of the small islands out at sea. He was glad for that. He didn't think she would approve of him telling Alexis he wasn't going anywhere.
"I'm going to go talk to your mommy, okay," he told her.
"Okay."
Standing up, Edward dusted off the sand from his pants, then he made his way to Bella. She still didn't look at him as he sat next to her on the driftwood.
"So how long are you going to play out the father card?" Bella asked, finally looking at him. Her voice sounded uninterested, but the intensity in her eyes told another story. She was waiting for him to slip up. So when he answered, Edward was careful to keep his voice neutral.
"I'm not playing anything," he said.
Bella laughed. "You really expect me to believe that? Oh come on, Edward. You can't sprout that crap forever."
"It's not crap, Bella. I am telling you the truth. I want to be a good father to Alexis. I want to help you raise her."
"Help me raise her?" Bella scoffed. "As if I would ever want my daughter to be raised by you. Nothing you could ever do would ever make up for the past."
Her words hurt.
But his determination kept him from slipping into the hopelessness. He was ready to do whatever it took to get her back. He was not in the position to just let her go so easily.
"Well," he finally said. "At least I can try."
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Special thanks to Project Team Beta, BelleDean & tds88 for proof-reading.