Synopsis:
After a forced marriage filled with violence, Bella escapes from Edward with their unborn child. Almost four years later, Edward has found her and their daughter and he refuses to let them go.
"It is a risk to love.
But what if it doesn't work out?
Ah, but what if it does. "
― Peter McWilliams
Chapter 16
A Drop in the Ocean
"That's just not possible for me," Edward said after a moment. His eyes trailed to where Alexis was still playing.
"But what if I want to move on?" Bella asked. His green eyes met her brown ones.
"Let's not discuss this now," Bella said. "It's still Alexis's birthday, and the last thing we need to do is bring our problems into it."
Edward nodded, but he was still riddled with questions. He wondered if her saying she wanted to move on was her subtle way of saying that she and Sebastian had moved on from being just friends. The thought made Edward's heart clench, but she was right. Alexis's birthday was not the time to discuss it. Besides, he wasn't sure he even wanted to know the answer.
For the rest of the day, Edward did his best to push his worries out of his mind and enjoy the time with Bella and Alexis, because he knew moments like these were far and few, and if his suspicion was correct, it could be the last.
When Edward, Bella and Alexis left the zoo at four that afternoon, the sky overhead had gone from blue to a murky grey. A summer storm was definitely on the horizon.
Alexis had fallen asleep in Edward's arms during the walk to the car park, so after buckling her into her car seat, he went to his car. Edward turned his key in the ignition, but the car wouldn't start. He tried again but with no luck. He knew the car's gas tank was still half full so that wasn't the problem. No amount of turning could get the car to start.
Bella's back lights flashed red showing she was about the pull out of the parking spot. Climbing out of his car, Edward went to the passenger side window and knocked. He waited until she'd put the window down to speak.
"My car won't start. Do you mind giving me a ride back to Forks?"
A suspicious look crossed Bella's face, and Edward knew why. He couldn't deny that the thought of spending another three hours with Bella was appealing to him while to her it probably was not.
"Why don't you call your security?"
"I would, but it will take three hours for them to reach here."
Bella sighed and looked away for a moment. She seemed to not buy his explanation that his car wouldn't start.
"You don't actually think I sabotaged my car, do you?" Edward asked with a hint of amusement in his voice.
"No, you have people to do that for you," Bella replied.
Edward laughed. "You don't have to give me a ride. I can wait the three hours for Dean to arrive."
Bella's eyes narrowed, and they both knew why. To leave Edward in Seattle when she could just as easily give him a ride to Forks would be a malicious act, and if it was one thing Bella wasn't, it was malicious.
"Fine, you can ride back to Forks with us," she said.
"Would you like me to drive?" he offered.
Bella just blinked in response.
Edward held his hands up in mock surrender. "I was just offering."
No sooner had he climbed into the passenger seat, did the rain finally burst from the clouds. Alexis was still fast asleep.
"I really appreciate this," Edward said as Bella pulled out into traffic.
"Uh-huh," was all Bella said in response. Edward couldn't help the small smile that came to his face. Bella looked at him for a moment then rolled her eyes as she looked away. The first few minutes passed in silence as Edward continued to cast glances at Bella, and she studiously ignored him.
The silence in the car seemed to be too much for Bella because after a few moments she turned on the radio. One song was just finishing, and the DJ was announcing another.
The song was unfamiliar, and Edward didn't know the singer, but immediately he could relate to the words.
A drop in the ocean
A change in the weather
I was praying that you and me might end up together
It's like wishing for rain as I stand in the desert
But I'm holding you closer than most 'cause you are my heaven.
If Bella heard the connection between the song and their relationship, she didn't let on. Her eyes remained focus on the road ahead.
Desperate to engage her in conversation, Edward wracked his brain for a topic. "It's like you and I are something plucked out of the pages of British literature," Edward said.
Bella's eyebrow rose. "You read British literature?"
"Not a lot," Edward said, glad that he was finally getting a response. "I just know the ones you use to read when we were high ers in Florida. After you'd left Chicago, I started reading them out of curiosity."
"Why?"
"I wanted to know why they appealed to you so much. I figured if I had found you, you would want to stay with me if I was more like someone out of your novels."
Bella looked at him and smiled slightly. "Which were you thinking? Something along the lines of Cathy and Heathcliff? Do you have plans to knock off the side of my coffin and merge it with yours so our remains will be joined forever?"
"There is no way you can be Cathy. I was thinking more along the lines of Tess."
"Does that make you Angel?"
"I think I'm more like Alec," Edward admitted softly.
"Alec turned out to be a liar and beyond redemption. Does that mean you'll slip back into your old ways?"
"I suppose that's up to you to decide seeing as it's your forgiveness I'm asking for."
Edward waited for Bella to respond, but she didn't. He supposed that meant forgiveness wasn't even an option now.
The rest of the drive passed in an uncomfortable silence. Edward wanted to continue their conversation, but he wanted her to want to talk to him.
When they finally arrived outside Bella's house, Alexis was still fast asleep.
"So what do you think? Do you want to wake her?" Edward asked, indicating to Alexis.
"I suppose. I wouldn't want her to miss Renee's cake."
They both laughed. The earlier tension in the car was forgotten momentarily. Bella reached into the back of the car and began to softly shake Alexis. Alexis was more than happy to be woken for cake and ice cream.
The smell of burnt cake greeted them when they walked through the front door.
"Oh no," Bella said as the scent hit her.
"Hi," Renee said coming around the corner from the living room. Behind her, Edward saw that she had hung a "Happy Birthday" banner in the living room. "How was the zoo?"
"Packed," Bella answered.
"Did you have a good time?" Renee asked, her eyes darting between Bella and Edward.
"It was fine," Bella said.
"Now can I have my cake?" Alexis asked.
"Yes, you can, and I made a special cake for you," Renee said.
Edward and Bella exchanged a confused look.
"By special she probably means burnt," Bella said to Edward, when Renee and Alexis walked into the kitchen.
"Ta-da," Renee said as she pulled a small cake out of the fridge. The cake was rectangular with chocolate icing and pink flowers decorating the corners. It didn't look homemade.
"The cake looks amazing, mom," Bella said, suspicion strong in her voice.
"I told you I could bake it," Renee said proudly.
Bella gave her a dubious look.
"I read a book on baking," Renee said, trying again.
Knowing that no one was buying her explanation, Renee groaned.
"Fine, I burned the first one and bought this one," Renee admitted as she stuck four candles into the cake. Alexis sat in between Bella and Edward as Renee lit the candles.
Sitting there singing "Happy Birthday" to his daughter with his wife on the other side was still eerie to Edward. If someone had told him, when he and Bella had first started dating, the mess they would find themselves in, would not have believed them. At the same time, their relationship had been so messed up from the start; the path they found themselves on now could hardly seem surprising.
Edward couldn't stop himself from looking at Bella as she sang along with them. Deep down, Edward felt he owed so much to Bella. Not only for everything he'd put her through, but also for giving him another chance, if not with her, then at least with Alexis.
He loved Bella and time had not changed that. If time had done anything, it had strengthened it. It had strengthened her.
Bella seemed to sense his eyes on her so she looked up. For a brief moment, their eyes locked, and Edward remembered her earlier question.
"But what if I want to move on?"
Letting go of Bella was giving up on the possibility of them being together, and that seemed like an impossibility to him.
The morning after she'd fallen down the stairs, Bella's entire demeanor had changed. She wasn't her usual fiery self. For the last several days, she'd been docile. Not even picking fights with him over trivial things which, just last week, would have ignited the rage in her. There was a time when he would have been glad for the change, but because it was Bella, it terrified him. It was like the calm before the storm.
A few days later found Edward distracted at work. Some final proposals had needed his approval and signature, but he was finding it hard to concentrate long enough to absorb the information on them. Something was deeply troubling Bella, but he didn't know what. All the time he'd known her, she'd had a certain fire in her eyes. Now they just seemed dull.
When Edward returned home that night, he was surprised to see her already sitting in the dining area waiting for him. Ever since that first night when she'd thrown the wine bottle at his head, she'd ignored his requests for her to join him for dinner. That usually lead to an argument and a fight. Tonight was different.
"I'm surprised to see you here," Edward said.
She'd been staring out the opposite window when he walked in. Now she looked up, confused.
"Why?"
"Usually you make it a point to ignore all of my requests."
"Oh. I guess I just didn't want to fight with you tonight," she said. She sounded sad. Without another word, she turned her attention back to the window.
Edward sat opposite her. One of the maids came in then and poured them each a glass of wine.
"Can I get water instead?" Bella asked.
"Of course." The maid walked out and returned a few moments later with a water jug. After pouring it for Bella, she left again.
"You're not drinking?" Edward asked, surprised.
"Not tonight," she said quietly.
After dinner was served, they both sat in silence.
"You're very quiet tonight," Edward commented. Bella, who had been pushing her food around her plate, looked up in surprise as though she'd forgotten he was there.
"Oh, I guess I'm just tired," she replied.
Edward blinked in surprise. Her answer was so calm. Actually, everything about her was unnaturally calm. A huge contrast to the Bella from a few days before who would have replied to his question with a sarcastic comment.
"What did you do today?" he asked. She was looking down at her plate as she continued to move the food around and around.
"I stayed down by housing mainly."
He looked at her with narrowed eyes. "Are you okay?"
She sighed in aggravation. "I'm fine." There was a slight exasperation in her voice. It seemed angry Bella wasn't completely gone.
"Aren't you hungry?" He gestured to her still full plate.
"Not really." Her shoulders slumped.
He wondered if this was a late response to all that had happened.
"I'm tired," Bella said, pushing the plate away and standing up. "I'll see you upstairs."
Then she walked out of the room without a second glance. Whatever was bothering her, Edward knew it was bad. Evident in the fact that she had gone to their bedroom without a fight.
When he joined her a half hour later, Edward found her already fast asleep. It struck him as slightly odd how tired she'd been as of late, but he shrugged it off. Maybe she was coming down with something. After changing his clothes and climbing into bed with her, Edward could not stop himself from reaching out and touching her. To him, she was still a figure of beauty and radiance with or without the fire.
Weekends were always a volatile time in the Cullen household. With Edward not in the office on weekends, it was the only time Edward and Bella were in close proximity to each other. It was the time of the week when they banged heads the most. Even though they spent the majority of it on opposite ends of the house, somehow they still managed to provoke the other into an argument.
This weekend was different.
This was the first weekend since the turmoil had begun that yelling and the sound of glass breaking was not heard. They still stayed on either side of the house, but the brief times they came into contact, they were both tame.
Sitting in his home office, Edward had hoped to finish the work he'd neglected the day before, but the same thing that had prevented him from working on it then had not been resolved. Bella's demeanor had not returned to its original state. In fact, it was as if she'd withdrawn even more into herself. Again, Edward began to wonder if this was a late effect of all that had happened.
Passing his hand through his hair, Edward sighed in frustration. He'd always wanted a humble Bella, but now that he had one, he wished for the old one.
Leaving his office, Edward went to find her. Weekends were the only time Bella stayed in the house for any extended period. Edward knew she spent most days down by housing. She preferred the company of the hired help to anyone in his family, including him. That had been a reason behind another one of their arguments. He'd wanted her to spend the weekend with him, while she'd wanted to get as far away from him as possible.
The sound of the faucet running in the master bathroom alerted Edward to her presence. He stood silently outside waiting for her to finish. When Bella emerged a few minutes later, Edward saw her eyes were rimmed with red. She'd been crying.
She froze for a moment when she saw him.
"I didn't hear you out here," she said, rubbing her eyes. She looked tired. Odd, seeing as she'd woken a lot later than him.
"Are you sick? Would you like me to get you something?" he asked.
Bella shook her head. "No I'm okay. Just tired."
Walking past him, she went into the bedroom. Sitting on the bed, Bella buried her head in her hands. Following her in, Edward sat beside her. Reaching out slowly so as not to startle her, he pressed his hand against her forehead.
"You don't have a fever, but you still look pale."
Bella just shrugged. Edward was about to suggest calling a doctor, but she cut him off.
"Do you remember when we first met?" she asked suddenly.
Her question caught him off guard.
"Of course. It was your first day. You'd just transferred from another high . Every male in the entire was head over heels for you."
Bella grimaced slightly at the reminder. "Don't remind me. Less than a year later you and I started dating." Her voice sounded sad.
"Who would have guessed how damaged everything would get," she continued. Her eyes met his, and in them, Edward could see sadness and possibly regret. Regret for what, Edward wasn't sure.
"Things started to change," Edward agreed.
Bella shook her head. "Things didn't change. You changed."
Edward was about to disagree, but Bella asked her question first.
"Why did you change?"
Edward took a deep breath. He couldn't understand the reasoning behind her questions, but her sudden want to venture down memory lane intrigued him. "I don't know. I guess one day I felt I wasn't good enough for you, and I was afraid you would leave. I thought if I held tightly, you would never let go. It didn't work. You left anyway." He grew slightly angry at the reminder.
"I couldn't stay with you. Not with the way you treated me. I will never be the type of person who just sits there and takes it. That's not me."
"I would never want that to be you. I just want you to be happy with me," Edward insisted.
"But that's just it," Bella said, standing in frustration. Her mood swing caught Edward off guard. "After everything that happened between us, I can't be happy with you." Bella shook her head sadly. Edward saw something change within her. It was as if she'd come to her own realisation about something.
"I can't be happy with you," she said again, so soft that Edward wasn't sure if he'd heard her right.
Edward stood now, his fist clenching and unclenching at his side. "Maybe I'm not the one who changed. Maybe you're the one who led me on even then. That's what happened when we were married. You led me to believe you wanted to be with me."
Bella shot him a look of disgust. "I don't even know why I bother arguing. You just don't seem to get it. You always were, and you always will be an asshole. Guys like you don't change. They just get worse overtime."
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Edward's eyes hardened, daring her to say anything more.
"Like father, like son, right?" Bella shot back.
Angry Bella had returned, and that was when Edward snapped. Reaching for her, he grabbed her and slammed her into the wall. He could take all her other verbal abuse, but comparing him to Carlisle was a low blow.
Edward expected Bella to fight back. It was what she usually did when provoked. This time she surprised him.
"Please no!" Bella begged, her hand outstretched towards him, fear in her eyes.
Her reaction caused Edward to stop and his mind to clear. This was the first time, in as long as he could remember, that Bella actually begged him. Never before had he seen such fear in her eyes as there was now. It was a deep rooted fear that tore at him. It was the fear of someone staring into the eyes of a monster.
"Please don't," she begged again.
Something was different, something had changed between them, and Edward knew it, but what was different, he didn't know.
He couldn't stay in the room any longer. Letting go of her, he stalked out, slamming the bedroom door behind him.
That night, the soft sound of someone crying woke Edward. When he'd opened his eyes he was momentarily confused. Sitting up, he glanced at Bella's side and saw it was empty. The glow of a light was visible at the crack below the bathroom door. Climbing out of bed, Edward walked quietly to it.
From the other side, he could hear the muffled sound of Bella crying. He heard as she took a few deep gasping breaths in an attempt to calm herself down. He raised his hand to knock, but he paused before it could make a sound.
If he went in there, what would he do? More than likely, he was the reason behind her tears. He was the reason for her pain. He was always the reason.
Edward passed his finger gently over the screen of his phone at the picture of Bella and Alexis displayed there. He'd snapped the picture, without Bella's notice, while they were at the zoo. In the picture, Bella held Alexis as she fed a baby goat from a bottle. They had both been so preoccupied with the task that neither noticed when he took out his phone. It was his favourite picture, and Edward had set it as his background.
He was sitting in his home office as Leah gave him his daily company report. Her voice was just background as Edward thought about the day he'd finally gotten to spend with his wife and daughter.
"And your father has been trying to get through to you. He asked me to ask you if you'd changed your mind." Edward rolled his eyes even though he knew Leah couldn't see him. Carlisle was relentless.
"Tell him that I have not and will not change my mind."
"Are you sure? He seemed pretty frantic the last time he called."
Edward sighed. "Yes, I'm sure."
There was a brief pause and the sound of pen against paper as Leah wrote down what he was saying.
"Well, that's about it. Is there anything you wanted me to do for you?" Leah asked.
Edward paused for a moment as he contemplated briefly his next request. "Yes. I want you to contact Mr. Ateara and have him redraft my will. I want Bella and Alexis instated as my beneficiaries."
Leah paused for a moment. "Okay," she said, uncertainty in her voice. "Anything else?"
Edward thought for a moment. There was plenty more he wished he could give to Bella and Alexis, but now was not the time. To Leah he said, "No that's it."
After final formalities, Edward hung up. No sooner had he put his phone down did it ring again. This time the call was from Esme.
"Hello," he answered, passing a hand over his face.
"How is everything going?" Esme asked. Her voice was calmer than Edward expected. Lately she'd seemed agitated every time he spoke to her on the phone.
"Fine." He was wary.
"Did Alexis receive my gift?"
Edward's eyes went to the still wrapped box sitting in a corner of his office. Since taking it from Bella's house, he hadn't known what to do with it so he'd tossed it aside.
"Um, no."
Esme sighed. "I figured that much so it doesn't surprise me. What did surprise me, however, was the news that Renee was in Forks." Jealousy was deep in her voice.
"How did you find that out?" Edward asked, curious.
"I didn't trust some delinquent from the post office with my granddaughter's gift so I had it delivered by one of Carlisle's workers. When he called me to tell me it had been delivered, I asked who had signed for it. Guessing from his description, I know it wasn't Bella."
"Your guess was right."
"That is not fair. Why does she get to see Alexis and I don't? I have just as much right to see my granddaughter as Renee does."
"It's Bella's decision," Edward said.
"Why is it her decision? Alexis is as much your daughter as she is Bella's, and until you take my advice and take her to court, you two share custody. So why then does Bella get to dictate which grandparent Alexis sees?" Esme demanded angrily.
Edward took a deep breath. "I am not going to dictate Bella's decisions now. I put her through hell in the past, and she has every right to act the way she does. I messed up, and I'm paying for it now. A lot less harsh than I deserve."
"It seems I'm paying for it as well. She's the only grandchild I will ever have, and I can't even meet her. Add that with everything that's going on with your father, I just— " Esme sighed, her voice trailing off.
"What do you mean everything that's going on with Carlisle?"
Esme sighed again. "I don't know. He's been agitated and stressed as of late. He comes home at late hours, and there have been people coming and going at all hours. The other day these two men came in and threatened him in his office. He looked terrified."
Edward groaned. "Why don't you leave?" He knew that what Carlisle was meddling in was going to end very badly, and he preferred it if his mother wasn't involved.
"I'm not going to leave him." Esme's voice was firm. "I just wish I knew what was going on."
"Carlisle is digging himself his own gave. He's getting involved in things he should stay away from."
"Do you know what is going on?"
"Yes. Several months ago, Carlisle told me of some Russian bratvas that he'd been in contact with called the Tarasovs."
"Who are they?"
"Known for money laundering, extortion, arms trafficking and human trafficking, they are the most powerful family in Russia. Carlisle hopes to ally with them but really he wants to overthrow them."
Esme gasped. "How is he hoping to do that?"
Edward looked out the window as he answered. "By aligning himself with the Alexandrovs. Both families have been at war for centuries, but as I told him, neither group can be trusted. Russia is an entirely different ball game from the American one he knows."
"Why does he want your help? Seems he's got it all figured out."
"I don't know. I guess he believes with my joining him would increase the Cullen family power."
Esme was silent for a moment. "It seems he's really dug a deep hole for himself."
"Yes, and I am not going to help him out of it."
"I wouldn't want you to. Whatever he is messed up in, you don't need to be involved."
Edward's gaze went to the clock hanging on the wall. Alexis would be finished with in a few minutes.
"I have to go."
"Okay." Esme's voice sounded sad. "I'll talk to you tomorrow."
Then she hung up. Edward sat for a few moments thinking about what Esme had told him. He knew that Carlisle was in over his head. He just hoped that when Carlisle's plan backfired, Esme wouldn't feel the burn.
When he left his house twenty minutes later, it was with the determination of pushing his worries out of his mind. Afternoons were the one time he got to spend with Alexis, and by extension, Bella, and he didn't want his worries to pry his concentration away from them. He filed Carlisle away in his brain. He could be dealt with at another time.
Pulling up outside Bella's house, he was surprised to see that her truck was not in the driveway. He assumed that maybe her old truck had finally had its last breath. He secretly hoped so. The old clunker was a death machine on wheels, and he hated that she and Alexis drove around in it.
It was Renee who answered when Edward knocked on the front door.
"Oh, Edward, I thought you might have been Bella," she said.
Edward looked at her confused.
"They haven't returned yet," she explained. "And I really wanted to get to the bank before it closed."
Edward understood her predicament. The only vehicle was Bella's truck, and without it, Renee was stranded.
"You can take my car if you want," Edward offered, holding out his car keys.
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah."
"Thanks. You can wait inside if you want," Renee said as she took the keys.
"Thanks, but I'll just wait outside." He was sure that Bella wouldn't appreciate coming home to the sight of him waiting in her house.
Twenty minutes after Renee had left, Bella and Alexis still hadn't returned home, causing Edward to worry. Usually they were back by now. He was still waiting on the front step when the sound of a car passing in front of the house pulled him from his thoughts. The car was unfamiliar to him. So was the driver. He was surprised when the car stopped in front the house and the driver got out.
The man who stepped out looked around the same age as Edward. Even though he was at a loss as to who this person was, Edward went out to meet him. It wasn't until he looked in the backseat of the car and saw Alexis fast asleep next to another boy who looked around the same age as her, did Edward realise who the man was. Bella was not with them.
After weeks of silence, the monster inside of him raised its ugly head.
"You must be Edward," Sebastian said, holding out his hand.
Despite his anger, Edward remembered his civilities as he took Sebastian's outstretched hand in a brief shake.
"Yes," Edward replied curtly as he sized up the man he saw as a competitor to Bella's heart. Sebastian seemed to be doing the same thing. Edward took comfort in the fact that Sebastian was as unsure of his stance in Bella's affections as Edward was. "Where is Bella?" Edward asked.
"She had a meeting with her academic advisor that couldn't be rescheduled so I offered to pick Alexis up for her," Sebastian explained. "Is Renee here?"
"No, she stepped out, but I'll take her." As Edward step towards the car, Sebastian moved in front of it, blocking his view.
"I'm sorry," Sebastian said, holding up his hands. "Bella asked me specifically to give her to Renee."
Edward's eyes narrowed. "Well, she's not here, and I am Alexis's father so I'll take her."
"Asshole," Edward couldn't help but think.
Still Sebastian refused to move. "I'm sorry, but it was Bella's request."
Edward's hands curled into fist, but he remembered that slugging Sebastian wouldn't end well for him. Not only would it piss Bella off, but Sebastian's son and his daughter sat just a few feet away.
"Well, Renee is not here, so I'll take her." Edward's voice was firm and daring Sebastian not to deny him.
"I'm sorry, but I can't do that."
Edward saw red.
At that same moment, both men could hear the sound of another car coming up the road but neither of them turned. It turned out to be Renee. After parking just behind Sebastian on the side of the road, Renee got out and walked up to the two men.
"Hello," she said, warily. The tension between the two men was apparent.
"You must be Mrs. Swan," Sebastian said, turning to her.
"Call me Renee." Renee's eyes kept darting between the two men as she held her hand out to Sebastian. "And you are?"
"Sebastian. Bella had a meeting with her academic advisor so I volunteered to pick Alexis up from . She said you wouldn't have transport," Sebastian explained as he opened the door to the back seat. Alexis was still fast asleep while Drayven was staring at the three adults.
"Oh," Renee said, reaching into the car and taking out Alexis. Edward's hard gaze never left Sebastian.
Standing between the two men while she held Alexis, Renee wondered if both men were going to start to fight right there and then. She did not understand what was going on between Edward and Bella any more than she understood what was going on between Bella and Sebastian.
"Thank you, Sebastian. Do you know what time Bella will be finished?" Renee asked.
"I'm not sure," Sebastian told her with a smile.
"Well, I'm going to take her inside," Renee said, unable to stand the tension any longer. "It was nice meeting you, Sebastian."
"You too," Sebastian replied.
With one last glance at both men, Renee quickly turned and headed into the house.
"It was nice meeting you as well," Sebastian said, holding out his hand to Edward. Edward just stared at him, fire in his green eyes.
"Okay then," Sebastian said, pulling his hand back and walking to the driver's side of his car. "I'll see you around," Sebastian said as he got into his car.
"I hope not," Edward mumbled under his breath.
It wasn't until Sebastian's car was out of sight that Edward returned to Bella's house. He knew that Alexis was probably still asleep, and he needed a moment alone, so instead of going in, he resumed his spot on the front step. Burying his head in his hands, Edward took a few deep breaths to calm the anger and betrayal he felt. It hurt a lot to know that Bella trusted Sebastian with Alexis when she didn't even trust him with his own daughter. He knew she had every right not to, but the feeling of betrayal remained. It ate him from the inside, making him feel unworthy and not good enough. He knew deep down that making him feel this way was not her intention. She was only trying to protect Alexis from being hurt by him.
Almost a half hour later, Edward was still sitting on the porch. His anger had disappeared and hurt had taken its place. Behind him, someone opened the front door.
"Edward?" Renee asked.
Turning, Edward saw her standing in the doorway, uncertainty in her eyes. Bella had once said her mother had a type of perception that was unparalleled. She could read people and situations better than most people. It seemed true now as she looked at him with sympathy in her eyes.
"Yes?" Edward replied.
"Alexis is still asleep, and I wanted to know if you would like me to wake her up so you can spend time with her."
Edward thought for a moment. Even though he loved spending time with Alexis, it was the only thing he looked forward to, he wanted to speak to Bella first. There were a few things he needed to get off his chest first, and he didn't want to speak it in front of Alexis.
"Can you give her a half hour more? If she's not awake then, can you wake her?"
"Sure." With one last nod, Renee returned into the house, and Edward continued waiting for Bella.
Fifteen minutes later, her truck pulled into the driveway. Edward couldn't help but feel slightly dismayed that the truck was still moving. From the look on her face, Edward could tell she'd had a rough day. She seemed surprised to see him sitting there.
"Where's Alexis?" she asked, walking up to where he was sitting.
"She's asleep inside."
Bella must have heard something in his voice, because she suddenly seemed slightly taken aback. "Are you okay?" she asked.
Edward didn't answer for a moment as he tried to gather his emotions. He thought that all of his anger had dissipated, but it seemed some had remained.
"Can we talk for a moment? Preferably away from the house?" he asked.
For a moment, it looked as though Bella was going to refuse, but after a moment she agreed. They walked to Bella's truck where, after pulling down the back, they both sat on the bed. Bella was silent as Edward gathered his thoughts. He thought about making small talk before letting his feelings out but really he wanted to get to the root of the problem now.
"It isn't fair that you trust Sebastian with Alexis and not me." Edward hadn't meant to say it like that, but he couldn't seem to put into words what was going through his mind. "Why would you trust him to pick up our child from when you won't trust me to be alone with her? Haven't I proven enough that I am not going to hurt her or you?"
Bella had remained silent while she listened to him, and Edward wasn't sure if this was the calm before the storm again or if she just wasn't listening.
He tried to keep the accusation out of his voice, but it was still there. "It isn't fair."
For a moment, Bella didn't respond. She just sat there studying him. Then she sighed.
"You're right. It isn't fair, and I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you. It was a last minute decision, but you are right."
Edward blinked in surprise. That was not the response he had expected. He'd expected her to lash out, not for her to admit fault.
"I didn't mean to make you feel guilty," he said quickly. He hated the idea of her beating herself up over it.
"I know that," Bella said, waving away his words. "But you're right. It isn't fair. I hadn't really thought of all my options when I asked Sebastian to pick her up. I didn't realise you'd read into it so much. I can't blame you for doing that. If it were me, I would be upset as well. Would you like to pick her up from some afternoons?" Bella asked.
Edward was caught off guard again. He hadn't expected that. "Of course, but why the sudden change of heart?"
"Well, what you said is true, but also, I've been stretching myself sort of thin. I met with my academic advisor today and by the end of December I just may have enough credits to finish my degree which means this final push, I'll be even busier. Renee can help out as well, but she doesn't have a car, so it's harder for her. I guess that's where you'll come in."
Edward nodded. This was a leap forward in their relationship. She didn't know it, but her trusting him with Alexis, her most prized possession, made Edward's earlier feeling of unworthiness abate.
"That would be great," Edward said.
Edward wondered if this meant she'd changed her opinion of him. He opened his mouth to question this, but Bella, knowing what he was about to ask, beat him to it. "No, it doesn't change anything between us."
Edward sighed. Her response didn't surprise him. Bella always had a stubborn personality, and time had not changed that.
"Does this mean you believe me when I say I won't hurt you or her?" Edward held his breath while he waited for her response.
"I know you won't hurt her," Bella answered truthfully.
"Or you," Edward insisted. She had to believe him. She just had to.
Bella looked away and didn't respond.
"Soon," Edward thought to himself. Soon he would regain her complete trust and forgiveness.
Song that was playing: Ron Pope - A Drop In The Ocean (Really beautiful song)
Last month got away from me. I couldn't believe I hadn't updated then.
Thank you for sticking by me as I share this tidbit.
I'm genuinely surprised that alot of readers are sympathizing with Edward more than Bella. I thought Edward would have to do alot of convincing to prove to readers that he has changed. I guess it's the Edward paradigm that he can do no wrong. :)
So, who's excited for Breaking Dawn Part 2?
If you feel like talking or think I'm taking too long to update, you can find me on Twitter XxMementoMorix
Don't worry, I don't bite.
Special thanks to Twilightmom505 and BelleDuJour.