Chapter 14

Rose walked around all day mechanically doing whatever she had been instructed to do by her mother or Grandmother without actually realising what she was doing and now everything was ready. The balloons were blown up, the tables set and the streamers were thrown. Ice sculpted swans sat in the centre of each table with red roses scattered around them. A path to the marquee had been covered with rose trimmed arches united in the centre with animated plastic doves magically enchanted to drop confetti on all those who walked beneath them. It was cupid's paradise and the last place that Rose wanted to be.

Dominique had approached her earlier in the day to see how she was and how Sal was but she had sent her away afraid to talk about it in case she broke down and cried. She had also done the same when James had walked over around mid afternoon and he had just nodded in understanding.

At six o clock she went home to get ready and dressed in the gold floor length strapless robes which she had bought for the occasion. She twisted her hair in a chignon and applied mascara and clear lip gloss before walking into the living room and flooing back to the Burrow for the party. She arrived at half past seven and the party was already in full swing, the entire family were there along with Bill and Fleur's closest friends including Salamander's parents and sister.

She was walking across the garden in the direction of the marquee when Salamander spotted her and his breath caught in his throat, she was absolutely stunning. He watched as she stopped to speak with Dominique, who was dressed in striking black robes with a halter neck top, and her heavily pregnant sister, Victorie, who was trying to hide the bulge in her middle with a scarf that the girls were altering for her. He walked slowly over to the small group and tapped Rose on the shoulder, "Sal," she whispered looking at him in his smart dress robes.

"You look beautiful," he replied smiling at her, "and you too ladies," he added nodding at Dominique and Victoire.

"I look like a beached whale!" Victoire snapped back, "Women who get pregnant must be insane!" she added turning to walk away and find her husband while Dominique looked knowingly at Sal.

"How are you?" she asked sincerely and he dropped his head in response. "I'll catch you later," she went on softly leaving Rose and Sal alone.

"You do look beautiful," Sal reiterated offering his arm to Rose who took it.

"Thank you," she replied feeling her stomach flip as she touched his arm.

They headed towards the marquee where a meal was about to be served and walked under the doves which scattered pink and white confetti all over them. They stopped and looked at each other but neither said a word and after a moment they headed inside and sat down with Rose's parents, her brother Hugo and his girlfriend, Sal's Mum and Dad and Consuella who was dateless. Apart from Consuella they were the only two at the table who knew what had happened with Gloria and so the meal passed in pleasant conversation followed by a speech from Bill about his twenty five years of happy marriage, then everyone was invited to dance.

After one dance Salamander headed over to a small table to get drinks for he and Rose where he bumped into Teddy Lupin, husband of Victoire and expectant father, "Hey Teddy how's it going?" Sal asked.

"Tiring mate! And the baby isn't even here yet! I tell you pregnant women are a nightmare, hormones all over the place, one minute she's crying one minute she's laughing then before you know it she's growling at you and you feel like a total bastard because you didn't light the candle that she wanted!"

"That bad?" Sal tried to chuckle.

"Not really, it's all worth it when you feel that little baby kick and you know that it's yours," he replied smiling serenely as his wife came up beside him.

"I'm so tired," she whispered.

"I know Sweetheart," he replied putting a loving hand on her stomach and patting it absentmindedly. "We'll sneak off soon," he went on handing her a glass of pumpkin juice and guiding her back to their table where he sat beside her and plumped up a cushion behind her back to make her comfortable.

Salamander glanced around at other people in the room and a couple with a small child caught his eye, it was a little boy about a year old and he was dressed in black baby robes with a cute little bow tie. His father was holding him up on the dance floor while he waddled to his mother whose arms were outstretched to catch him. When he reached her she lifted him up and twirled him round before the father walked over and put his arm around them both, he then took the baby back and they carried out the whole scenario again. It almost brought a tear to his eye, he had never noticed or been affected by such things before but now that the prospect of being a father himself had been thrust upon him he realised how important a small family unit was and how important it was to be around when the child was growing inside the womb too.

Salamander knew immediately what he had to do, he had thought about it all day and always came to the conclusion that he could not go back to Gloria now that he knew what real love was. However seeing Teddy and Victoire and the happy little family on the dancefloor he knew that his conclusion was wrong, no matter what his feelings were for Gloria the child had to come first. It might not be his but until he was sure he would have to be there for Gloria and that meant breaking things off with Rose. His heart fell as he realised that and he almost burst into sobs right there but he took a deep breath and looked over at the pretty girl now talking to Victoire and Bill. He could see she was yearning and though it had to be done he decided it could wait until the morning, he didn't want to do it with all these people around and a few hours could make little difference to his heart or hers.

Midnight was fast approaching and Salamander was sat at the table alone watching Rose talking with her cousins and dancing a little with the younger ones. His head had been in turmoil since he had made the decision hours ago and he had been searching for the right way to tell her the following day but he could not form the words in his head. Teddy and Victoire had left shortly after ten and the small family had gone too but Salamander had repeatedly played over the scenario on the dance floor imagining that he was the father and the son had been his. He was staring out of the marquee curtains still thinking over his words when a soft voice interrupted him, "You've made a decision haven't you?" it asked and he turned to gaze at the understanding face of the girl he was hopelessly in love with.

"Yes," he nodded faltering on the word.

"And?" she asked sitting beside him and taking hold of his hand. She could see it already and knew it would be hard for him to say, but no matter how hard it was for her to hear she would stay strong and support him.

"I was going to wait until-"

"That won't change the outcome," she interrupted stroking his hand as he looked down at it.

"I have to support Gloria," he uttered barely audibly and she nodded her head biting back the tears pricking her eyelids. "You were right, if it is my child and I'm not there to support her I will never forgive myself, I watched Teddy tonight with Victoire and he loved the bulge in her stomach so much. I have to...to..."

"I know," she whispered.

"And if it is mine then...then we will have to be a family, I will marry Gloria and raise our child in a safe, secure home with both its Mother and Father around," he continued, tears pricking his own eyes and starting to fall down his cheeks. "And if it is not my child then I will walk away."

"And I will be waiting," she replied with a smile.

"No," he whispered gazing up into her eyes, "no Rose, I can't...I can't expect you to put your life on hold for eight months until we know, this is my mess and not yours. I can't stay with you now and then leave you if the child is mine but you can't wait to see if it is either, I won't let you. If it is mine you will have wasted so long waiting for...for nothing," he went on.

"But I won't ever love anyone like you," she whispered.

"Yes you will," he replied smiling at her, "you'll find someone wonderful, someone deserving of your love, just be yourself Rose and let them find you, but don't give up because of me, I have to do this for my child but...but I will always love you. You have shown me more happiness in a few short weeks than I could ever imagine and you need to give that happiness to someone else, someone more worthy."

"You were worthy Sal," she almost whimpered, "you are worthy and I will always love you too, but I understand what you are going through, and if the baby is yours I wish you look, but if it is not then-" He put his fingers against her lips to stop her saying that she would wait for him. He could not allow her to do that, he would not have her waiting around when he might never be able to return to her.

"No," he said shaking his head, "no." Then he pulled her into his arms and stifled her protests with a soft kiss. She lingered over it for a few moments and then he stood up to leave just as the band announced that they were playing their last song for Bill and Fleur and all the couples in the room took the dance floor to celebrate the end of a wonderful evening. Seeing the sad look in Rose's eyes and realising she would be the only one still sitting down her offered her his hand and whispered, "Dance with me."

Rose looked up through glassy eyes and took his hand as he led her to the dance floor where he placed her arms around his neck and put his own on her waist, holding her close as her head laid against his shoulder. He breathed in her scent and let his tears fall unchecked as they swayed to the music. Other couples around them were laughing and smiling and kissing each other but they just swayed, clinging on to each other for dear life, crying and feeling their hearts break inside of them. She felt small in his arms and he wanted to take her away from the nightmare, away from the world and be alone with her forever. But as the song ended and everyone began to clap and toast her Aunt and Uncle, Salamander reluctantly moved his hands from around her back. Her hands unclasped and came to rest on his shoulders as he tilted her chin up with his finger and leaned down to give her one long kiss, he curled her hair around his fingers and felt their tears mingle on his cheeks as slowly he pulled away and looked down upon her. This was the hardest thing he would ever have to do in his life and he knew he would never quite be himself again. Rose had shown him the loving life he could have had and the one life he now had to turn his back on, wiping stray tears from her cheeks he smiled at her softly and then did just that. He turned and walked away from the dance floor, away from the girl he loved and away from the party celebrating twenty five years of a loving relationship that he would never have.

Rose watched him walk away leaving her alone in the middle of the parquet floor where her family were hugging and kissing her Aunt and Uncle, she felt numb and lonely as James turned from the throng and saw her. He stopped clapping and smiling as he saw in her face what was wrong, he had seen them dancing close and noticed that they did not look happy but he had put it down to the situation they were in. Now he knew why they had been unhappy and he knew what Salamander had done so, letting go of Annemarie's hand he walked over to his cousin and wordlessly put his arm around her pulling her into a tight hug and rubbing her back gently. Dominique who was also hugging her parents noticed him holding her and left them to offer her own comfort, she stood behind them and put her arm around her lost cousin whose body was racked with sobs. "Let's get her out of here before anyone sees," she whispered nodding towards the door. Everyone else except for Annemarie was still wrapped up in the cheering so they quickly guided her out of the marquee and across to the Burrow where they could all floo back to Rose's house together.

They put her to bed and Dominique gave her a mild sedative potion so she would rest through the night before returning to her cousin and his girlfriend in the sitting room. "I'll stay here if you want," she said to James, "go and see Salamander, he'll be just the same."

"That little tramp I could...I could..."

"We all could James," Dom growled, "but what happened has happened and there is nothing else we can do about it is there? We just need to be there, for both of them."

"I know," he groaned downing a glass of firewhiskey which he had poured while Dom and Rose were upstairs.

"You go and see Salamander," Annemarie urged, "I'll stay here and keep Dominique company, if that's alright?" she added tentatively.

"Fine by me," she replied smiling.

"I'll go and check on him then," James said leaning over to kiss Annemarie, "I'll see you tomorrow," he added before whispering, "I love you."

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He arrived at the flat to find Salamander sat in a heap on the floor with a half empty bottle of firewhiskey beside him, he had drunk it straight from the bottle and the effects were already clear even though he couldn't have been drinking for more than half an hour.

"Hey mate," James said tentatively not quite sure of what else to say, "I just came from...Rose's."

"Hmm," he replied staring into the fire and taking another swig from the bottle.

"It's not going to help you know," James offered feeling that he was likely to get a smack in the teeth. "You know how you felt last time you drank half a bottle of firewhiskey."

"Yeah, I ended up in bed with Rose," he answered in a monotone voice, "maybe if I drink the rest of it I'll wake up in the same place."

"Mate you can't do that!" James shrieked.

"I know I can't do that," Sal bellowed back, "I'll never be able to do that again, I'll be stuck with ice queen Gloria for the rest of my miserable, pathetic life. They say you don't know what you've got till it's gone," he slurred, "well I knew what I had, I was happy for six god damn weeks and I've still lost it," he concluded swigging from the bottle again and then slamming it onto the floor beside him. James didn't know what to say to him at all, he couldn't imagine losing Annemarie now and hated to even contemplate that it could ever happen.

"The baby might not be yours," he offered hopefully, "maybe then you could..."

"I can't expect Rose to wait around for eight months in the hope that it might not be mine, what does she do then if it is? She's wasted eight months when she could have been out there finding someone else to love, I can't do that to her."

"She might do it anyway," James said quietly thinking about how much she loved Salamander and how determined his cousin could be.

"Well you have to make sure that she doesn't, this is hard enough but I won't let her waste her time for my mistake. Promise me James that you'll make her go out there, you and Dom and whoever else, she has to get on with her life, mine might be over but she deserves to find happiness and not pay for my stupid mistake."

"I..." he stuttered not sure if he would be able to make Rose do anything that she didn't want to do.

"Promise me James," Salamander shouted angrily grabbing the bottle and taking another deep swig.

"Okay," he replied wanting to placate him for the moment while his head was spinning from the intoxicating liquid inside of him.