Chapter 6
"Is it yours?" Ziva yelled back at him. "How many people do you think I sleep with?"
"I don't know, I don't know what to think. I mean what else would make this complicated?"
"Us. You and me. That's what makes it complicated."
"Why?"
"Because I am scared. I am scared that what ever choice I make about us will haunt me for the rest of my life as to whether of not I did it for me, or for the baby." Ziva feel down onto the couch and started to cover her eyes not wanting Tony to see the tears that were welling in her eyes.
"oh, well yeah, I guess I can kind of get that. But we're having a baby?"
"I do not know Tony."
"But Abby seems to think so?"
"Abby has put two and two together and got four."
"You mean five."
"I do not mean five. I know my English is not always so good, but I know what two plus two adds up to."
"It's a saying Ziva, you put two and two together and she's leapt to… you know what, that doesn't matter. We could be having a baby. I'll run down the street and get you a test." He said excitedly.
"I do not want you to get me a test Tony, I have one back at the hotel." she replied still angry at him.
"But you haven't done it?"
"no."
"Well why not?"
"I told you, I don't want to make a decision about our marriage based on if I'm pregnant or not. It should not matter."
"Well of course it matters. If you're pregnant."
"please try to understand. If I move back in here, it has to be because I trust you, not because I need a father for my child."
Tony was desperate for Ziva to come back to him, he didn't want to understand, he wanted for them to just go back to the way they were, and now with the possibility of them having a beautiful baby, he wanted more then anything for her to come home so he could share every second with her and their child, he had an overwhelming need to suddenly protect Ziva, and not let her lift anything for the rest of her pregnancy. The fact she could be pregnant meant that he loved her even more. Suddenly he realised, that was exactly why she needed time, and needed to make this decision without her thoughts being clouded by a third party. Instead of arguing with her and trying to persuade her to decide or at least take the test he merely said "ok, I'll wait for you. But you have to promise me something."
"What is that?"
"Until we know if I'm going to be a daddy you have to take things easy." Ziva just laughed. "I can not promise anything."
"Ziva?"
"Yes Tony?"
"DO you think you still love me." She paused for a long time, she knew exactly how her heart felt, but she didn't want to give Tony any false hope. She weighed up her options and then finally replied
"No." She looked at Tony's face and could see his heart breaking yet she couldn't wipe the smile of her face. "I don't think I love you, I know I love still love you. I just need to learn to trust you again."
"I'll do what ever you ask, what ever you want to prove myself."
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Ziva's alarm went off at 0500 hours again. She'd missed waking up with a smile on her face, but she hadn't realised it would have been missing all these weeks till she found it on her face, the morning after having a good night with Tony. She was thankful that she'd woken up in the hotel, there was no point rushing into a commitment after only one night of friendship. As she got ready for her jog she remembered how they'd sat on the couch and bickered over what channel they'd watch, then which DVD, and whether or not Tony's mimicking and quoting the movie lines was any good. It was like old times, even before the were a couple, when they were friends. What she had loved more though was the last half an hour of the movie when they sat in silence, or more to the point, Tony sat, and Ziva lay on the couch with her head on his shoulder, his hand stroking her hair as he chuckled at the movie. She had missed that, but just like the smile, it wasn't until she had found it again that she realised how much she needed it.
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She drove up to the park for her morning run, her smile still as big as a Cheshire cats. She pulled into a parking bay, tied her hair into a pony tail, got out and started to stretch. As if in a day dream she started to jog down to her track completely oblivious that surrounding her was a city full of people who shared the same air she breathed. As she started to run this feeling slowly started to leave her as she realised that there was someone running next to her. She turned her head and there he was.
"I thought you said you'd try and take it easy." Tony stated inbetween breaths.
"I think I said I couldn't promise anything. Besides running would not hurt the baby."
"Fine, you can run, but you're running at my pace today. I don't think the park rangers want to be cleaning up you're puke again today."
"I can live with that."
It was as if nothing had changed between the two of them. They were happy and laughing and he was so loving and attentive. When they'd finished their run they again sat against Ziva's car while they attempted to get their breath back. "So you going into work to have your shower now?"
"I suppose. Thanks to you're… speed… we are now running very late."
"Oh Jeeze" Tony said as he looked at his watch. "Gibbs is going to kill us. I better get moving, I've still got to jog home."
He stood up and extended his arm to help her up. "You know, I could take you home." Ziva suggested. Tony was extatic at this prospect, but not wanting to seem too eager or pushy he simply replied…
"But then you'll be really late yourself if you have to drop me then turn back around to go to work and have a shower."
"Maybe I could dress at home."
Tony had picked it, she'd called their apartment home. That was something that not even he had considered it in some weeks, it could never be a real home without her.
On the car ride to the apartment they sat in silence, both completely excited about what could happen if Ziva allowed him back into her heart.
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