AN: Disclaimer notice, none of magical world is mine! Forgot about it earlier! I know there are a few followers to this story and I owuld love to know what you think if oyu fancy dropping a review?

Chapter 17

He looked afraid, of what she didn't know, but it was all over his face, "Sal what's the matter?" she asked kindly placing the hot mug and glossy magazine down on the coffee table. He continued to stare at her looking more and more worried as every second ticked by, "Are you alright?"

"I...I don't...I...I'm sorry I shouldn't have...have come," he stuttered turning to go back to the fire.

"Wait," she called dashing across the room and grabbing his arm gently, "no...no don't...don't go." He looked like he needed her and no matter what had happened she wanted to be there to comfort him. "Sal, talk to me." He turned around to look at her and she saw pain in his eyes, the same pain which she had been suffering but somehow it seemed deeper.

"I wanted, I needed to...to see you," he whispered as she took hold of his hand and guided him to the sofa where he sat down and she took a seat beside him. "When I saw you yesterday in the Cauldron I felt as if I had hit a brick wall, I knew I had missed you terribly but I realised just how much when I saw you there. I'm sorry about...about Gloria, she was making out as if we were...together and...and we're...we're not...I can't, not until I know..."

"I know," Rose smiled, "you don't need to apologise."

"God you are so understanding, how can you be like that?"

"Because I have to be," she smiled gently rubbing the back of his hand which she was still holding, "so...how are you?" she asked knowing already what the answer was going to be.

"Miserable," he replied, "but I don't want to burden you with that I came here because...because I just needed to see you."

"I said I would always be here for you if you needed me," she said feeling her heart pumping wildly in her chest, she had missed him so much and even though she had come to a decision the previous night she still knew that one look, one word from him and she would crumble into his arms without a second thought.

"James will kill me," he uttered quietly.

"James?" Rose asked, "Why?"

"Because I promised him I wouldn't come, he said it would only make it harder for both of us, and he's right isn't he? Now that I'm here I don't want to go."

"Then don't," she replied practically feeling her heart trying to escape from her chest as it beat madly. She moved her body a little closer to his until their knees touched and she dropped their still joined hands onto her thigh, she heard Sal gasp as he closed his eyes.

"I really should go," he whispered not actually making any attempt to stand up or move, "but I..."

"But you don't want to," she breathed, "and I don't want you to," she continued sliding her hand up to touch his face, he leaned in to the touch and closed his eyes again sighing deeply and feeling his own heart beat wildly.

"I shouldn't," he started, "I can't do this to you, I won't," he whispered kissing her hand and then standing up to leave again, there were tears in his eyes and she jumped to his side grabbing hold of both of his hands and turning him to face her square on.

"Let's ignore can't and won't," she breathed stepping closer to him and placing her face close to his, "listen to want and need, just for tonight, just for a while."

"But," he replied breathing raggedly as a result of her closeness, he longed to hold her, to kiss her and make love to her but he knew it was wrong, he knew that he shouldn't. They gazed deep into each others' eyes at that moment and he knew he needed to tear himself away now while he still had an ounce of strength in him but then Rose pushed herself up on her toes and slowly pushed her lips against his and his own resolve crumbled. Everything crumbled as he gave in to the one thing that he truly wanted and kissed her back gently but passionately sliding his arms around her body and pulling her as close as he could. Her hands wound around his back, over his shoulders and into his messy hair which she began to ruffle as their tongues explored each others' mouths searching for and instantly finding the one thing they had missed for so long. Everything else was forgotten, the outside world, the decisions they had made and the situation that Salamander was in, it had all disappeared, gone away with can't and won't when they had given in to need and want.

Salamander held her in his arms and they gazed at each other as the kiss ended, Salamander was waiting for her to stop him, to remind him about can't and won't but she too was only listening to want and need and she just smiled back at him feeling happy and comfortable wrapped up in his arms. Pulling him tighter against her body she twisted on the spot and apparated them both to her bedroom above where she still would not let him go. "I'm sorry Rose," he whispered when he looked down at her and paused to think about how this would affect them both, but mostly her. However Rose just smiled at him and took hold of his hand again, "You are so beautiful," he uttered breathing in her scent through the top of her head. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" he asked not wanting to push himself on her, it was wrong and he knew it but he also knew to stop now would devastate him almost as much as having to leave her.

"No, but I want it, I need it, and so do you," she replied stroking his face and looking into his eyes, "It may not make things easier but right now, right here, I don't care. I want to be loved," she added having a flashback to the raw animal sex she had experienced the night before, the one which had made her feel cheap and dirty. She needed Sal to love her and show her real sex, real love making "And so do you," she added knowing just how much more miserable he was, she could give him this and it would make her just as happy, for a while.

"I don't want to hurt you any more," he whispered.

"I know but..." she returned leaning up to kiss him again and with that delicate touch any slight will power he had had left flew out of the window as he crushed her against him and kissed her back with longing and passion. Breathing deeply Rose pulled herself away then, pulling her wand from her pocket, she cast muffliato against the door so Holly would not hear them when she came home. With three quick sparks she ignited candles on her bedside table and chest of drawers which cast a soft glow over the room.

"Shhh," she whispered seeing Salamander about to open his mouth and protest one last time, then still with her wand in her hand she smiled shyly and directed it at the buttons on his shirt which she unfastened slowly with a quick flick of her wrist while still standing at the other side of the room. He looked at her with a bemused expression having never experienced magical undressing before and she smiled coyly back at him, she directed the shirt over his shoulders and he lifted his arms so it came off completely and fell to the floor in a heap. She walked towards him then and sat down on the bed beckoning for him to join her. He did so and then moaned at her delicate touch as she began to kiss his shoulders, his chest and his stomach. He pulled her towards him and wrapped his arms around her but she pushed them back and sat above him looking down for a moment before slowly removing the blouse and bra which she wore revealing her white breasts and erect nipples, he gasped at the sight of them and then frowned as he noticed a red weald on one of them.

"What's that?" he asked softly running his fingers across it.

"N...nothing," she replied not wanting to spoil the moment by confessing to what she had done the previous night, "I...I fell getting out of the shower and landed awkwardly."

"My Darling," he whispered leaning up to gently kiss the red mark, it felt soft and tender, a complete contrast to how it had been made and she yearned to feel him kiss her whole body.

He did just that a moment later pushing her over onto her back and kissing her soft flesh from neck to belly button slowly and sensuously and she leaned in to every one. After a minute or two he stopped and looked up at the happy and comfortable face of Rose who opened her eyes to see what was wrong, "Are you really sure about this?" he asked giving her one last opportunity to walk away. "I don't want us to regret it in the morning."

"It's better to regret the things you did do than the things you didn't," she answered and then gently pulled his head up so she could kiss him longingly showing through her action that they could not stop now. She stroked his bare back as she continued the kiss and moved her hands to unfasten his trousers and release him then he stood up and removed them looking down on Rose's smiling form. She removed the rest of her clothes until she was completely naked too and he gasped as he remembered how beautiful she was. Positioning himself carefully between her legs Salamander slowly pushed himself into her listening as she breathed out quietly and stared into his eyes, he stroked the hair back from her face and started to kiss her eyes, her cheeks and her lips without moving himself. He wanted to just be as one with her for a moment and it was a few minutes before he started to move himself back and forth, it was slow and easy and to Rose completely different to the rawness of last night and she knew it was because he loved her. They twisted their limbs around each other and rolled across the bed as they made love, giggling a little when they almost fell off the edge. Salamander picked up his wand from the floor where it had rolled out of his trousers and stopped moving for a moment as he cast a bubble charm which encased them in a large, opaque ball which let the romantic light filter through but would protect them if they fell.

Rose smiled in awe as he whispered, "Now we are the only two people in our little world," and smiled as he thought about how much he wished they could be the only two people in the world. The inside of the bubble was swirling with oily rainbow patterns and for a moment Rose just stared at it until Salamander began to move again, slowly in and out and once more they rolled over and over kissing one another and moaning softly as they shared the ultimate intimate act until they were both sated. Rose felt Salamander straighten up and then relax as he stopped moving within her but continued to gaze into her eyes penetrating them with his own and brushing the stray hairs back from her face.

He continued to softly kiss her face and she smiled at him, she could see he was starting to feel guilty already and she desperately wanted to show him that he had nothing to feel bad about. "Don't do this Sal, don't feel bad, please," she whispered stroking his face gently, "let's just be together and enjoy it even though we both know it won't last." He smiled at her understanding once more and tried to change his face to please her even though he was cut up inside for going through with this. As if it was mirroring their life the bubble then burst just like the magic which had now gone from their moment of love. Moving onto his side he cradled her in his arms and they lay for hours just holding one another and enjoying being so close even for a brief time.

"Is it really bad?" Rose asked tentatively breaking the eternal silence of the room.

"Awful," Sal croaked in reply stroking her shoulder and turning to look into her face, "I can't...be with her I don't want to be with her at all, even if the baby is mine. She tries so hard to...seduce me but all I see is a desperate girl trying anything to get what she wants, when we're out in public she clings onto me like a limpet even though when we were together she would never do anything of the sort, it's like she wants to show the world that we are together when we aren't."

"Not the world Sal, me," Rose replied lifting a finger up and running it down his face, "she wants to show me that you are together, she wants to hurt me like she thinks I hurt her. That's what it's all about."

"She's so horrible," he continued, "she's a cow and she expects me to be her lover and her husband, how can I be that to a woman who would try to hurt you so much, why does she need to do that?"

"Because she knows that you still love me and that I love you and no matter what she does now or has done in the past she clearly loves you why else would she want you back?"

"I can't ever love her and I've told her that, if we have to...to...marry then it will be for name and circumstance only, I cannot be a true husband to her, it will be miserable for us both but I will hide that from the child for their sake."

"Sal," she crooned running her finger down his neck and to the hair in the centre of his chest which she began to twiddle absentmindedly, she felt desperately sorry for him and wished she could do something to make his life better.

"I'm sorry for coming Rose, this is only going to make it harder, I don't want to leave you again it was bad enough the first time."

"Then come back," she whispered.

"I can't, you know I can't," he whispered gently, "I have to stay with...her."

"I know," she replied, "but I don't mean like that, I mean come back to me, as a lover."

"No," he said vehemently sitting up straight and pulling her with him, he pulled his head back to look into her face before continuing in a softer tone, "no Rose, I won't make you a...a mistress," he almost spat the word. "I won't do that to you, that's what Chris wanted from you and I won't stoop so low, I was wrong to come here tonight to put that thought into your head. I want to but I can't Rose, you deserve better than that."

"I don't want better Sal, I want you."

"I know," he sighed, "that's why I shouldn't be here, I've given you false hope when there is none, why have I done this to you?"

"Don't blame yourself Sal, you tried to leave and I wouldn't let you, I wanted this and I will always want it and if you need it too then I'll be here, no questions, no demands just here for you because I love you." He pulled her into his arms then and held her close to him knowing that it would be the last time that he did. No matter how hard it was not to and no matter how much he wanted to Salamander would never come here again. He would not make Rose a mistress, a common whore because she was too good for that, he vowed to listen to the can't and the won't and never give in to his need again because she was the one who would suffer in the long run. He would stay for the night knowing that they had this last precious gift of each other and then he would leave never to darken her door again with his pain and misery.

They clung to one another all night as they slept and woke early before the sun had even risen, without a word they made love again slowly and quietly relishing every second. When it was over he held her for a while stroking her hair and kissing her forehead but when the sun began to shine through her bedroom curtains he rose from the bed and dressed quietly. Neither of them had spoken a word but neither of them needed to, it had been a night of happiness and need made bittersweet by the knowledge that it would end. When he was fully clothed he walked back to the bed and sat down beside her, he leaned in for another longing passionate kiss and then he held her face in his hands as he gazed deep into her eyes and whispered, "I will not come back my love, I will not make you a whore. Last night was wonderful, more wonderful than it ever was but it was wrong, I was wrong to give in and I must find the strength not to do it again. I'm sorry," he finished giving her one more wistful kiss before walking away from her and out of the bedroom door.

Rose sagged against the headboard, it had been wonderful and perhaps it would make being apart even harder but she would never wish that it had not happened, he had been sensual and loving and reminded her what she liked and what she was like. She would stick to her resolve and stay as the new Rose, the real Rose, the one he had made her into and she would move forward with her life hoping that one day he might come to her, might seek out a night of love and passion. The future he was facing was bleak and unhappy and no matter what the cost to her own feelings and emotions she wanted to show him scraps of love even if she could not give it to him constantly.