Kyle eased his foot off of the gas pedal as he arrived at Fort Carson. He and Butters decided to go back. Kyle were going to help whether Eric wanted him to or not. Butters reloaded the pistol he had picked up from a Russian soldier. Kyle opened the trunk and got his rifle.

"Butters, can you stay here and watch Russell?" Kyle asked.

"Sure, Kyle," Butters replied. Kyle nodded to his friend as he walked to the gate.

"Hey Kyle!" he yelled from the car. Kyle turned around to face him.

"Yeah?" Kyle asked.

"Be careful," Butters warned.

"Alright," he said with a smile. Kyle shot the lock off of the gate and kicked it open. He was ready to fire at anyone who attacked. He felt a sharp pain in his left shoulder. He put a hand on it and noticed that his glove was covered in blood. He was suddenly shoved to the ground.

"Alright, start talking you Russian fucker," his attacked yelled.

"Russian? I came here to save my husband!" Kyle shouted, turning to face him. The attacked squinted his eyes.

"Kyle Broflovski?" he asked.

"Yeah," Kyle replied.

"Oh, God! I'm so sorry!" he yelled.

"Come on Scott, kill him already!" a voice yelled. A head poked around the corner. It was Eric! He ran over to Kyle and held him in his arms.

"Who shot you? I'm gonna make them suffer!" Eric yelled. Scott Tenorman just stood there whistling. Eric took his pistol and shot him. Not in the head, not in the chest, but in the dick. Scott squealed like a little girl and fell over.

"AH! YOU FAT FUCK!" he screamed.

"Shut up, you ginger prick," Eric said. Eric leaned forward and kissed Kyle, their tongues colliding in a battle for domination. He couldn't believe how long it had been since he had seen Kyle. They parted quickly when they heard something fall over.

"Oh, shit! We need to get out of here!" Kyle screamed. He tried to get up, but he was shot in the leg. It wasn't a Russian soldier, though. It was Scott. Eric picked Kyle up and held him in his arms. He firmly placed his foot on Scott's face and pushed down with all of his might, eventually crushing his face and killing him. He looked over to the car and saw Kenny had already made it over there and was locked in a fiery kiss with Butters. Eric carried Kyle over to the car and put him down in the passenger seat. He then took a frag grenade from his belt and walked back to the base. He pulled the pin from the grenade and threw it next to the fuel tank. He ran back as quickly as he could, just barely escaping the blast. Burning Russian corpses and debris flew from the explosion, landing everywhere. Eric started the car and drove away as quickly as he could.

"Well Jew, I have to admit a few things," Eric said.

"Like what?" Kyle asked.

"First of all, I like this car because it's fast enough to escape mentally-handicapped Russians. Second of all, I'm pissed that you were dumb enough to come help," he listed. Kyle laughed and rested his head on Eric's shoulder.

"Seriously, Kahl, promise me you'll never do that again," he said.

"I won't ever do that again," Kyle promised.

When they made it back to South Park, they found their house barely damaged. The rest of the city was absolute shit, but their house stayed standing. Everything was almost exactly where it was left.

"Oh, I think this belongs to you," Eric said, handing Kyle his hat. Kyle put it on.

A month later, the town had been entirely rebuilt. Eric and Kyle were lying in bed together.

"Wow, Kyle. Even with that broken shoulder, you're still pretty good," Eric panted.

"You're pretty good yourself, even if you weigh 180 pounds," Kyle laughed.

"180 pounds isn't overweight. It just seems like it is because you have a scrawny little body," he teased, running his fingers through Kyle's curly red hair.

"I may be scrawny, but my dick's still bigger," Kyle taunted.

"5 and a half inches is above average, you shifty Jew," Eric said.

"Yeah, and 7 inches is even MORE above average," Kyle retorted.

"You need to take a shower, you smell like ass!" Eric joked, plugging his nose and pretending to gag.

"And you need to go on Weight Watchers, you almost broke my OTHER shoulder," Kyle joked back. He smiled at Eric before going to take a shower.

"Everything is as it should be," Eric thought.

-Epilogue-

Eric and Kyle lived a long and happy life. Their son became the owner of a successful business and got married to the daughter of Wendy Testaburger and Pete Melman. Kyle died at age 74 from the long-term damage of his gunshot wounds. The next day, Eric shot himself. His body was discovered a week later.

THIS IS IT! THANKS FOR READING! THIS SERIES IS OVER! THERE WILL NOT BE A CONTINUATION! DON'T FUCKING ASK!