Synopsis:

After a forced marriage filled with violence, Bella escapes from Edward with their unborn child. Almost four years later, Edward has found her and their daughter and he refuses to let them go.

"Most people can look back over the years and identify a time and place at which their lives changed significantly.

Whether by accident or design, these are the moments when,

because of a readiness within us and a collaboration of events

occurring around us, we are forced to seriously reappraise ourselves

and the conditions under which we live and to

make certain choices that will affect the rest of our lives."

- Frederick F. Flack

Chapter 25

For You

"Careful, careful, careful," Bella repeated over and over to Alexis.

"I am careful," Alexis insisted as she climbed into the newest swinging contraption that had been installed in the public park. Where Alexis saw a brand new toy, Bella saw a swinging death trap.

"Wow," Alexis called as she almost slipped off the tyre-shaped disk.

Bella felt as though her heart had stopped for a moment.

"Can you push me?" Alexis asked Bella after she'd been seated in the deepest part of the swing.

Even though she didn't like it, Bella obliged and began to push Alexis gently on the swing.

"Higher!" Alexis said. "Why won't you push me higher?"

"Because I have enough gray hairs, and I really don't need you falling off."

Alexis just laughed in response. "You're funny."

As usual, Forks' playground was empty except for a few mothers and their children. Edward had gone to Seattle for a few days on business, so it was just Bella and Alexis at the park that day.

Bella still couldn't believe the turn things had taken between her and Edward in the last several weeks. Ever since she'd agreed to give him another chance, she could see that he was determined not to mess it up. She was glad when he'd suggested they start off as friends. At the present moment, just the thought of having a romantic relationship with Edward, when the scars of the past were still present, filled her with dread. She was willing to give him another try, but she was afraid of what it would cost her. Bella's biggest fear was that her emotions would overrule her judgment, and she would pay for it. It went against everything she believed in, so all of it was foreign to her. They had started off as just friends, and most of the activities they did together involved Alexis in some way. Whether they were taking Alexis the movies or just hanging out at Edward's, it was strictly platonic between them.

"Bella?" a voice called from behind her.

After turning, Bella's eyes widened in surprise. Edward's arrival had opened up a gate to Bella's past, and people were emerging in floods, so really she shouldn't have been surprised that it was Eryn who stood behind her.

After giving Bella a moment to stop Alexis from swinging, Eryn ran forward to hug her. Bella hugged her back in response. She couldn't believe it had been so long since she'd seen Eryn. Time had not erased from Bella's memory how much Eryn had helped her when she was in Chicago.

"So I'm guessing this..." Eryn said, after they'd pulled away, indicating to Alexis.

"Yes. Alexis, this is my friend Eryn. Eryn, my daughter Alexis."

"Hi," Alexis said.

"Nice to meet you," Eryn replied. To Bella, she said sadly, "Well, I see the eyes are hereditary."

"Alexis, why don't you go over to the slides and play?" Bella told her.

"Okay. Bye, Eryn," Alexis called as she ran over to the slides.

"Bye." Eryn waved as she and Bella made their way over to the benches.

"You have no idea how glad I am to see you," Eryn said.

"Same here. How did you find me?"

"Well, Edward hadn't been back at the house for several months, and no one could say for certain why. I'd guessed it had something to do with you, but I wasn't sure. Then when he showed up again for Carlisle's funeral, he said he was selling the house. He didn't say why, but I'd heard from the other workers that he was moving his business to Seattle. That was when I knew that he'd found you. The problem was I didn't know where you were. It was Mrs. Miller, who heard from someone who worked for Carlisle and Esme, who told me you were in Forks."

Eryn paused for a moment before continuing, "I thought it would be hard to find you once I got here, but this is a pretty small town."

"That's a little unnerving," Bella said. "How is Mrs. Miller?"

"She's great. She lives with her daughter now in Canada, but we kept in contact after she left."

"What about you?"

"I moved back home not too long ago. I got an offer to work for Emmett and Rosalie, but I've been around enough Cullens to last a lifetime. Is it true that Esme is here as well?"

"Unfortunately."

"Wow," Eryn said, looking into the distance. "I heard she looked like crap after Carlisle died. That she didn't take the loss very well."

"I heard that. She keeps asking me to forgive her for what she did."

"Did you?"

Bella shook her head.

"Wonder what made her turn over a new leaf," Eryn questioned.

Bella shrugged.

"Have you spoken to Edward?" Eryn asked.

Bella could tell that Eryn had been wanted to ask this for a while. Eryn had only been waiting for the right moment to ask it.

"Yes," Bella said slowly, uncertain how Eryn would react to her decision to give Edward another chance. Just like with Alice, Bella didn't have to lie about anything. She could be honest with Eryn, and after everything Eryn had done for her, Bella felt she at least owed her the truth. As best as she could, Bella gave Eryn an account of what had happened since Edward had come to Forks.

Bella had known Eryn's reaction could go either way, so when Eryn reacted angrily, Bella wasn't surprised.

"Are you crazy? You're giving him another chance?" Eryn asked in disbelief. "Did you forget what he did to you?"

"Of course not."

"Are you sure? Because your crazy idea to even consider something with him shows that you don't remember."

Bella let out a breath in frustration. She didn't regret telling Eryn about her and Edward. Considering that Eryn knew everything that had happened, Eryn's opinion was more highly regarded than Renee's, who didn't know the full story.

"Why are you giving him another chance?" Eryn demanded. "Why are you defending what he did?"

"I'm not defending what he did. I know that it was wrong, and he knows that it was wrong. I'm just giving him a chance to show he's changed. What's wrong with that? Shouldn't he be given a chance? Should people just be written off because of what they once did? Don't people deserve another chance?"

"Not when it comes to some things." Eryn sighed sadly. "All these Cullen men are alike."

"Edward is not Carlisle."

"Are you sure? Because their actions show they are similar. At the end of the day it's your decision, but I sure as hell will never agree with it. I was there, and I saw how much he hurt you. I'll never be able to see past that."

Bella didn't respond. She didn't know how to.

"Do you regret leaving him?" Eryn asked suddenly.

"Of course not. He was horrible then, and I'm glad I didn't stay a moment longer, but he's not the same person he was in Chicago."

"Yes he is. He is the same guy. The same Edward Cullen who is a product of his past..."

"And a changed person because of his present," Bella said cutting her off. "I know you'll never be able to see him as anything but that guy in Chicago, but I'm willing to give him another chance."

Eryn remained silent for a moment as she watched Bella.

"You still love him," she said. She didn't phrase it as a question.

"This has nothing to do with love," Bella replied quickly. "I'm just willing to give him another chance to be a better person."

Eryn just shook her head. "You still love him. That's why you're giving him another chance. You want him to change because you love him and don't want to let him go."

Bella didn't bother responding to that. She knew that no matter what she said, Eryn would stick to her premise, and a small part of Bella was considering the fact that what Eryn said might be true.

"Well, I can't change your mind," Eryn said after a moment. "It's your choice at the end of the day. I still don't agree with it, and I never will. I hope you know what you're doing."

"I haven't known what was I was doing since I jumped off that bridge in Chicago. I've been running on instinct since then."

"It's gotten you this far. I hope it sees you all the way through."

Bella felt as though she'd been on the road for years, but really it was only a few days. After getting in touch with the group that Amy had talked about, Bella was driven by an elderly woman, one late night later, to a town just outside Chicago. From there, she was passed onto a second woman who drove her to another location, and so it continued. At each point, Bella was handed off to another woman who would drive her to another location before handing her to someone else. By the sixth woman, Bella had lost track of where she was, but one thing she did know was that she was away from Chicago, so that was a good thing.

"We need to stop off for gas," Cynthia, the latest woman Bella was with, said. "Is that okay?"

Bella had been dozing in and out of sleep for some time due to the late hour and having not been in a proper bed in days.

"It's no problem," Bella said quickly. Considering all that these women were doing for her, for nothing in return, she would comply with whatever they asked.

"I know you must want to stretch your legs as well. We've been driving for a while." Cynthia smiled at Bella's willingness.

One thing Bella liked about each of these women was that they never asked what brought her to this moment. They all said that if she needed to talk they were there, but they never pushed her on it. They just remained friendly as they drove her to each spot. Not once did any of them complain when Bella's pregnancy sickness struck and they had to pull over to the side of the road. When Bella had asked one of the women why they did what they did, she simply said, "Because it's the right thing to do."

A few minutes later, Cynthia stopped the car at a small gas station. It was late, so there was no wait by the pump. After refusing to let Bella pay for the gas, Cynthia went inside to pay a disgruntled worker while Bella took a few moments to stretch her legs. They'd been on the road for several hours, only stopping once to get something to eat and once so Bella could throw up.

According to Cynthia, they were just outside Idaho and close to Oregon. From there, Bella would be handed off to one more person, and then she would be free. Free to do what, she didn't know. Whilst the long drives had given her ample amounts of opportunity to strategize, she found that she was no more ready now than she was when she'd first left Edward. Now she was far from home, in a distant state, relying on strangers to help her get through. Bella knew she could depend on them for only a short time, before she would have to take up the reins herself.

While Cynthia pumped the gas, Bella walked back and forth by the car. It felt good to get the blood circulating in her legs again. She made sure to stay away from the road as she walked. Even though she was far from Chicago, Bella still didn't feel safe. She knew this fear of being found would always be there, and it was something she would have to live with.

"You okay?" Bella hadn't heard Cynthia come up behind her.

"I'm okay," Bella said quietly. It was her go-to answer whenever asked. Cynthia didn't seem to buy it.

"No, you're not," she said. "And that's okay. It will get easier."

"When?" Bella's voice sounded desperate. She needed to be reassured that at some point this whole thing would become easier, because at the present moment, it didn't seem so. "When will it get easier?"

"Over time. The important thing is that you were able to get away."

"Yeah," Bella replied sadly. That wasn't exactly the answer she was hoping for. A specific time for when it would be easier would have been better.

Leaning against the hood of the car, Bella looked out into the deserted road.

"How far along are you?" Cynthia asked softly.

Bella felt a small chill run through her at the reminder of the wildcard to her already messed up life. Whilst it wasn't easy to forget that she was pregnant, she tried not to think of it unless necessary. It just seemed to add to her list of problems.

Bella shrugged her shoulders at Cynthia's question. All these days had become such a blur.

"Are you keeping him or her?" she asked.

"I don't think so."

"Okay," Cynthia said simply.

"At least, I don't think I should," Bella said softly.

"Why not?"

"What kind of parent can I be? I have no job, barely any money and no home. I'm sure there are other people out there who can take better care of this child than I can."

Cynthia was quiet for a moment, seemingly weighing her words very carefully before answering.

"Maybe you're right," she said slowly. "Maybe there is another family who can care for the baby better. But there is also the possibility that maybe you can as well. I'm not saying that it will be easy, but it is possible."

"I don't need possibility, I need assurance."

Cynthia looked at her with a sad smile. "I know you will do what you believe is best, but I think you should at least consider it. Once you give him or her up, you can't have them back. It's a pretty permanent decision. One that you'll have to live with for the rest of your life."

Bella let out a breath in frustration. She went from one difficulty to the next.

A few minutes later they were back on the road. Cynthia didn't question Bella anymore, thereby giving Bella time to think. Whenever she felt as though she had some clue as to the future of the baby, someone always gave her reason to pause and question her decision. She knew they each meant well, but it was frustrating. To keep or not to keep. It was a tough decision.

What made her even more frustrated was the belief that while she was confused, alone and bearing the burden, Edward was probably enjoying the single life with whomever he'd gotten to replace her.

With the last few weeks of her college life drawing near, Bella began to really feel the pressure. School, on top of balancing work and raising Alexis, was really beginning to take its toll on her, and it was apparent to everyone, including Edward.

"You look exhausted," he said one afternoon as he joined her for lunch.

"Is it that obvious?"

"Just a little." Bella laughed a little at his modesty.

"It's only a few more weeks," she assured him. It was still a little odd for her to watch him be so in tune with her emotions and for him to care so much.

"Maybe you just need a break," he suggested. "How about we go out? You, me and Alexis. It will give you a break for a few hours."

"Well, Alexis has been asking to go to that fair in Puyallup. The only problem is that it's a pretty far drive."

"That's no problem," Edward assured her. "We could leave Forks early to make most of the day. What do you say?"

Bella thought it over for a moment. She did like the idea of taking a break from all the stress, and it would be nice to spend it with Alexis and Edward.

"Okay, let's do it. You drive, though. My truck wouldn't last an hour, let alone three."

"Wow, this is real progress," Edward said with a smile.

"Why do you say that?"

"You're actually willing to stay in a car with me for the three hour drive."

Bella couldn't help but roll her eyes at him. "Dork."

"What can I say? I take little victories where I can."

The following Saturday, Edward, Bella and Alexis left early that morning to begin their three hour drive to Pierce County. Conversation was not a problem, as Alexis took it upon herself to inform them of all the happenings at her school. Bella was amused at the amount of gossip that occurred on a preschool's playground. What amused her more was that Edward actually seemed interested in what Alexis had to say and kept egging her on with more questions.

Bella was glad that Alexis was supplying the conversation. There were moments when Bella felt she was becoming too relaxed during the car ride, and she could feel her guard slipping. When that happened she was sure to restore it right away. This was not the time to let things slip by.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked after Alexis had finally stopped for air. Whereas Edward had listened to every detail of Alexis's story, Bella had tuned out within the first five minutes.

"I'm all right, just thinking."

"Not about school, I hope. This is your day off. Think of all the fun you're going to have."

"Have you ever been to a fair with a child?" Bella asked.

"No."

"You are in for a treat then."

"Why?" Edward asked, confused. Before Bella could answer, Alexis started bouncing up and down in the back seat announcing, "We're here, we're here," as the fair rides came into view.

"And that's without sugar," Bella said to Edward, indicating to Alexis in the back seat as they got out.

With the last few days of the Fair drawing near, Bella wasn't surprised to find it packed with people. Adults and children of all ages moved amongst the colourful displays, taking in all it had to offer before the season ended.

No sooner had they bought their tickets and entered, did Alexis begin dragging Bella by the hand to the first ride she wanted to go on. It was a kid's roller coaster in the shape of a dragon that required one adult to ride with the child.

"Do you want to take her?" Edward asked Bella.

"No way. I've gone on enough kiddie rides that go around and around. This one is yours," Bella said as she backed away.

As Edward and Alexis went on it, Bella waited by the railing— relieved that she wasn't being subjected to another children's ride.

After that, where one adult was required to go on with Alexis, Edward and Bella took turns. Where two were able to go on with the child, Edward and Bella went on with her together. Except when Alexis wanted to go down the large slide over and over. Edward walked up the long stairs to go down the slide nine times with her. Even when Alexis grew tired of walking up the stairs to go down the slide, Edward still dutifully carried her up.

Bella couldn't help but admire his resilience. She would have faked a foot pain by the third slide to avoid walking up those steps.

Even though she was slowly getting used to it, seeing Edward so engrossed in the father role was strange. Just a year ago, Bella never would have imagined she'd be at a state fair with Alexis and Edward. Yet here they were. She couldn't help but wonder when she would get used to this new normal.

"Okay, now I see why you backed out," Edward said, when he and Alexis finally joined Bella where she'd been waiting for them. "I can't even feel my legs."

Bella laughed. "I told you."

"Come on, Daddy," Alexis said, tugging on his hand. "We still have to go on the Ferris wheel."

"Alexis, why don't you go over to the play centre for a bit, and then we'll go on the Ferris wheel."'

"Are you tired?" Alexis asked Edward.

"Very. I think I pulled a muscle carrying you up that last time."

"Okay, I'll go by the swings," she said, and then Edward and Bella watched as she went over to the small play area.

"I think you may need to carry me to the Ferris wheel," Edward said as he sat beside Bella.

"Don't worry. You'll regain feeling soon enough."

"You think so?"

"Yeah, and then she'll find some other way to make you ache again."

Edward laughed. They both sat in silence as they watched Alexis climb on one of the structures in the play area.

"She sure is a ball of energy," Edward said. "I can't even begin to imagine how you managed on your own."

"I got by," Bella said softly.

There it was again, the touchy subject. The reminder that this moment wasn't a regular occurrence between them.

"Sometimes I worry that I'll make a mistake," Edward said after a moment. "That I won't be a good enough parent. That I'll mess up her future the way my parents messed up mine. That I won't be that perfect parent." Bella couldn't help but laugh a little. Not at his question, but more at the fact that his worry was typical of new parents.

"There's no such thing as a perfect parent, and people who say they are are lying. Most parents try to make it look like they all have it together, but they don't. Every parent makes mistakes. No one ever talks about the time they forgot to pack the jar for the class project, or they forgot to arrange after school pick up and their kid got left in school a few minutes late. Or the time they forgot to pack the swimwear or dance clothes. Every parent messes up sometime. We are all human. The whole point is to learn from your mistakes. To try your best. Alexis absolutely adores you, and not just because you were willing to climb up those stairs over and over."

Edward grimaced slightly at the reminder. "Did you feel that need to be a perfect parent?"

"Oh yeah. There were many times during that first year where I felt I couldn't do it. Where I felt that I just wasn't cut out to be a parent. I think I cried more than she did. I tried so hard to be one of those perfect parents, and I went to bed almost every night feeling like a complete failure because I didn't live up to the perfect parent standards. It wasn't until her second year that I really started to alter my expectations."

"What changed?"

"Imperfection became the new perfection. I accepted that I wasn't going to be that perfect parent. Really, parenting is about putting aside what matters, from what does not matter. It's about just trying your best and making sure at the end of the day your kid knows he or she is loved. Once their basic needs are met, that's what matters."

Bella sighed. Edward often told her she was the fragile one, but he really was no different. She knew how desperately he wanted to make things work between them, and whilst she appreciated his effort, it worried her a bit. "Your parents made mistakes. It's up to you to learn from their mistakes and try to do better."

"Can we go on the Ferris wheel now?" Alexis asked suddenly appearing in front of them. They'd been so engrossed in their conversation that neither of them had heard her come up to them.

"Aren't you tired?" Edward asked.

"No," Alexis answered simply.

"Are you coming?" Edward asked Bella as he stood.

"Of course."

"I thought you were afraid of heights," Edward said when ten minutes later they were in one of the Ferris wheel's cars.

"I was," Bella said as the passenger car went higher and higher. "But after the last Ferris wheel with Alexis where the passenger car kept swinging, I got over it."

Slowly the car began to rise higher and higher. When they were near the top, it stopped for a moment to let persons out and then in.

"Thanks for pulling me away for the day," Bella said. "I really did need this day off."

"It was my pleasure. Maybe when you're finished with your classes we can go out to celebrate."

"As friends?" Bella asked.

"Yes...or as more. If you want," Edward said. Bella could hear the uncertainty in his voice. She knew he wanted to be more than friends but was afraid of pushing too hard.

There it was again, that journey into the unknown. Another step forward in their relationship where they'd go out as something more than two people co-parenting.

Eryn's words had not dissipated. Now Bella found herself being even more cautious when it came to Edward. A part of Bella was afraid that, even though they were taking things slow, she'd get too deep into Edward, and if in the end things didn't work out, they'd both be hurt in the process. Whilst she didn't believe what Eryn had said about loving him, she did care for him, and despite what he'd put her through, she would never want to purposefully hurt him.

"Sure," she said after a few moments. "I could use a celebration after all this work."

Edward didn't even bother to hide the elation on his face.

She had agreed to give him a chance. So she would.

You can find me on Twitter XxMementoMorix

Special thanks to kitchmill and BelleDuJour.