Deadpool and Iroh were on the road again.
And again, Iroh was on the edge of a mental breakdown. Deadpool's company had that effect on people.
"Now this is just lazy, a bloody damn replica of chapter 3! I mean, GET ORIGINAL you dork! You ain't gonna get reviews by repeating chapters! Talk to me! TALK TO ME! Don't ignore me, you! Just because you're writing me doesn't mean that you can do whatever you want with me! Well, actually it does, so you can make me clean Wolverine's room while listening to Justin Beiber with Galactus sticking his snot on me… OH DAMN YOU MOUTH! Er, I meant none of that! You do everything awesome! You invented awesome! Please… just not Justin Beiber…"
Iroh corrected himself in his saddle, sighing. "Are you ever quiet, Deadpool?"
"Not when I'm awake. Then again, I've been told I talk in my sleep…"
Iroh's palm met Iroh's face. The Dragon of the West Facepalm. Useful when travelling with Deadpool.
They walked on. The Deadpool said, "You never gave me those lady tips, ya know."
Iroh looked at him bemused. "I would if you let me speak."
"Hey, I never covered your face in toilet paper!"
Iroh shook his head tiredly. "First, never keep talking in front of them. That'll just scare them off. Also-"
"Why? I ain't crazy! Well, actually I am, but just because I talk-"
"Also, you never interrupt them."
"But you interrupted me!"
"You did it first."
"No."
"Yes you did."
"No I didn't."
"Yes."
"No."
"Yes."
"YES!"
"NO!"
"See, you admit it!"
"What? I didn't… you… forget it." Said Iroh, giving up.
"But I've got a good memory! I can't FORGET it!"
Just as Iroh was about to shoot back with a (hopefully) witty reply before performing the Dragon of the West Facepalm, they were both thrown back on their butts. Their ostrich horses panicked and ran away, somewhere.
"Owch! My eenie meenie hurts!" Complained Deadpool, as Iroh groaned from both pain and Deadpool's inability to shut up.
A girl came into view. She was small, petite and pretty. Her hair were pulled back in a bun, with a few bangs in hanging. Her eyes had strange misty look about them- she was blind, perhaps? She wore the green garments of the Earth Kingdom.
As sweet as she looked, she was also looking pretty threatening, standing in combat pose, face set fiercely.
Iroh raised his hands in a peace gesture, and was about to say something soothing, when Deadpool ran at the girl. Iroh was afraid he would kill her, but he merely locked her in a bear hug and lifted her in the air.
"It's so CUTE! Can I keep it? Please? Please? Pretty please?"
The girl was struggling against his grasp, "Lemme go, and I'll show you how cute I am!"
Iroh resisted the urge to burst out laughing and told Deadpool, "Let her go."
He did, after a few minutes of grumbling. As soon as her feet hit the ground, she flexed herself, stomping the earth. A second later both Deadpool and Iroh were neck high in rocks.
"Now," she said, cracking her knuckles, "We're gonna talk."
The venom in her voice was enough to make Deadpool whimper.
Why didn't Iroh mention this in his lady tips?