CHAPTER. Chapter 17. Broken

DISCLAIMER. There are many things I own, but Bones is not one of them. All characters belong to Kathy Reichs, Hart Hanson and FOX.

DEDICATION for the chapter. To my good friend, from real-life, Shobana. Hehe. "Chocolate-Brown Eyes" LOL. Hope you like it!

AUTHOR'S NOTE. From now on, each chapter will have a dedication and quote (I started doing that, but ran out of them. xD). Hey! The next dedication might be you!

The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy.
-- Jim Rohn

He was the one who initiated the kiss, but had to end it at some point. His hands restrained my face and reluctantly, he pulled away. I gasped at the sudden loss of his warm lips. His arms snaked down to encircle my waist, pulling me closer to rest his forehead against mine. My eyes opened and stared into his, smiling my shy smile. He returned it.

"Temperance, marry me."

I stared at him in surprised horror and pulled back slightly. Marry me? Of all the people he can marry, he wants to marry me? I opened my mouth to speak, but achieved nothing. No words came out. I closed my mouth again. He was staring at me with a worried smile, his chocolate-brown eyes pleading for me to say 'yes.' I felt my heart beat race faster, my stomach starting to fill with butterflies, and my eyes began to fill with tears. I love him. Why is this so hard for me to agree to? Worse, it felt like eternity before he spoke.

"Please say something, Temperance." He paused, then continued, "I know you think that marriage is an archaic ritual between two lovers, and that you don't need a piece of paper to prove that you love someone. But, if that paper will prove and allow myself to love you for the rest of my life, without strings attached, then isn't that a reason enough for us to get married?"

He gently grasped my right hand and kissed my knuckles. Then, releasing me, to pull a ring box from his pocket and go down on one knee. He opened the box. Inside, was a ring with a perfectly cut diamond in the centre and two sapphires on either side. "Will you marry me, Temperance Brennan?," he asked again.

I was suffocating. It was as if something was squeezing my lungs shut.

Tears were spilling from my eyes when I finally replied.

"I--I can't. I'm--not ready. You--shouldn't marry me. You--you shouldn't. I'm--I'm not good--good enough for you. I'll--I'll be the worst-t wife ever," I choked out, as I slowly backed away from him towards my door. "I'm--I'm sorry."

With that, I quickly turned around and entered my apartment, locking the door behind me, leaving him kneeling outside. I slid down the door and I bursted into tears. I hugged my knees and cried. Why would he ever want to marry you, Temperance. Why? You'll be the worst wife ever, and you know it. He's better off with someone else. I continued sobbing as I got up off the floor, took off my shoes, and walked over to my bedroom. Dropping onto the bed, I continued my flow of tears and silent whispers to myself. He will get sick of you after a while. He'll divorce you right after you get married. He'll leave you like everyone else...No, he won't, but he won't like you the way he did before you get married.

I fell asleep, shortly with that last thought floating around in my mind.

The next morning I woke up, warm from my duvet. Glancing at the clock, I realized that it was barely seven o'clock, so I decided to lay there. Lying on my right side, I watched as the morning rays danced across the ivory curtains and the hardwood floor, while my mind slowly drifted towards last night's dramatic event. He proposed and I said no. He probably hates me right now. I mean, it's his second rejection. Rebecca, now me. Tears spilled my eyes and I sniffled.

Just then, something around my waist moved. Booth?

"Temperance, shh..it's okay. Don't cry," I heard. Booth.

I flipped myself over to look at him, his arm lifted up slowly to ease the movement. "What--what are you doing here? I--I declined the proposal..."

"So? Just because you said, 'No,' doesn't mean I'll leave you, Temperance. I love you." I pulled me closer to his chest. My sobbing continued.

"Why? I'm not good enough for you. I can't give you what you want. You want marriage, a child, the whole taco, Booth," I sniffled and tried to pull away.

"It's 'enchilada,' and--"

"See! I can't even say the right things! I shouldn't be with you. You shouldn't love me." I cried and arosed off the bed, walking to the balcony.

"Temperance, don't say that. You are good enough for me, you are more than enough. And I don't need any of that if it doesn't make you comfortable. I already have Parker and that is good enough for me. And I promised that I will never leave you and that I will love you for the rest of my life, so I don't plan on breaking that promise anytime soon." He wrapped his arms around my waist, pressing my back to his chest. "I'll wait forever to marry you, even if it means never. You are the love of my life, and nothing will change that."

Surprised by his words, I turned around to face him, pressing my face onto his shirt. My body was trembling slightly when I opened my mouth to whisper, "What did I do to deserve a man like you, Seeley?" My voice, choked on the consonants and tears that stained his shirt.

"All you did was be yourself, Temperance. Just yourself." He kissed the crown of my head. "Now, how about you take a nice shower, then we'll head off to retrieve the surveillance tapes and log books for Angela. After that, maybe we can have the whole day to ourselves?" He was rubbing my back.

I nodded against his chest and whispered, "Okay."

A week later from Booth's propsal, I was sitting alone in my office, on a quiet Sunday morning, staring at the door and stirring my tea at an abnormally slow pace. Booth had been called in by Cullen, requesting his time for a meeting. Looking over at the computer clock, I read the tiny digits. 11:17 AM. I groaned in disappointment. I just got here and now I want to leave? Silence seemed disturbingly horrible at the moment. It was awkward. I was usually glad that no one was here in the lab. Normally, I would be able to accomplish a considerable amount of work with the silence. Yet, for once, I wasn't interested in looking at skeletal remains or writing my novels, which I am certain now that Kathy Reichs and Andy Lister are definitely reflections of Booth and myself. I was more interested in going home and taking a long bubble bath to drown my sorrows. Taking out the spoon from my almost lukewarm tea, I took a sip, and frowned at the temperature of it. Just then, my phone began to vibrate, as I placed my mug down. I picked it up.

"Brennan," I said, not bothering to check the caller ID.

"Hey Bones. I just finished my meeting with Cullen. Did you eat yet? Because I was wondering if you'd like to have lunch with me?" he asked.

"I already ate," I lied, surprising myself that I actually said that.

"Well, okay. I'll go grab something and visit you," he replied.

"Booth, I'm busy. How about tonight or something?" I lied again, biting my lower lip. What the hell is wrong with me?

"Oh, okay." His voice completely saddened. "I'll talk to you later then, Bones."

"Bye Booth," I said, only to achieve the answer of a dial tone.

I placed the phone back on my desk and began to cry, unexpectingly. I slammed my fists onto my desk causing some of my tea to spill from the mug. What is wrong with me?

One-fourteen. One-fourteen. One-fourteen.

Time was crawling slower than a snail. Okay. Maybe I am exaggerating slightly, but time is going slow.

I had completed my report regarding the recent case Booth and I had shared. It turned out that Jack Forrester's girlfriend, Shirley had murdered Trevor Friedman with the assistance of Carl Fisher. Shirley had allegedly blackmailed Carl into leading Trevor into her little trap. It turned out that Trevor was going to tell Jack that Shirley was cheating on him with Carl. It was a fairly quick case, due to the fact that Shirley had confessed after much pressure on Booth's behalf.

Aside from that, I finished writing another chapter for my publicist. Looking back, I believe it was a mistake in writing such a sexually-filled scene between Andy and Kathy, knowing that my personal life seemed strange at the moment.

Why do I feel so guilty?

Images from his proposal flooded my mind. The tears. That speech. My rejection. His sadness. I caused him sadness.

Six-forty-three. Six-forty-four. Six-forty---

"You ready to go?"

Booth had appeared at my office door and was now strolling towards me with his gentle smile. It still makes me feel so guilty knowing that today I lied to him about lunch, and just a few days ago, I rejected his proposal.

"Yes, I am," I replied, faking a smile. Thankfully, he didn't catch it.

"I was wondering. How about we order some takeout and eat it at the boardwalk?" he suggested.

"Um...sure," I replied.

Taking my hand in his, he pulled me closer and placed a gentle kiss on my lips, before guiding me out the door.

The sun was setting slowly, achieving a blend of red, orange, yellow and purple to mix with the darkened blue sky. Though, it was still bright enough that the street lights didn't turn on yet.

His thumb drew small circles on my hand, as we strolled along the boardwalk hand-on-hand, after our Thai takeout dinner. His hand was very warm compared to the cool breeze. A slight breeze caressed my face then, brushing a strand of my chestnut-coloured hair across my face. It didn't bother me; I barely felt it. I was too distracted by my own worries and thoughts than to care about a strand of hair that had fallen out of place.

He stopped walking abruptly.

"Bones, you've been very quiet lately. What's going on?" he asked, turning my form to face him.

"Nothing." Hesitant.

He held both of my hands in his in between us. "Temperance, I know something is bothering you, so just tell me."

My eyes fell on the floor. "I--I think we should um...break up..." My voice became quieter with each word.

"What?! Why?!" he exclaimed with much confusion in his voice. There were tears forming in his eyes.

"I love you Seeley, but I can't do this anymore. I can't bare to know that you want to marry me and I declined you. It's not fair for you. You should be with someone who wants marriage, who wants children, who wants things that you want. Things that I can't provide." My voice cracked and tears fell from my eyes.

"Temperance, you know I don't care about those things as long as I'm with you. As long as I can love you forever," he choked out. "Please Temperance, please don't."

I cupped his right cheek. "I'm--I'm so sorry Seeley. I'm--I'm sorry." My sobs started to shake my body. "I--I have to do this."

Placing my other hand on the other side of his face, I pressed my lips to his. He responded back without hesitation, deepening the kiss. His right hand slid up to my head, entangling his fingers in my hair. His left arm snaked around my waist, pulling me flush against his him. His tongue traced the edges of my mouth, then I found it probing into my mouth. The kiss grew passionate, as we held onto each other for dear life, not wanting to let the other go. I'll miss you Seeley... I parted away from him slowly, blinking back the unshed tears that were threatening to fall. Taking his hands, I pushed him back gently.

"Goodbye Seeley. I'll--I'll always--I'll always love you." I choked on my sobs.

I slowly let go of his hands inch by inch. "Temperance, please. Don't do this," he sobbed, gripping my hands tighter.

"I'm sorry. I have to. For me. For us," I sobbed. I removed my hands from his gently.

Reaching for the clasp of the charm necklace that had our names engraved on it, that was around my neck, I unclasped it, reached for his hand and placed the necklace in it, closing his hand.

"Temperance, keep it. Please. I want you to have it," he said, handing it back to me.

I pushed his hand back. "No. I want you to keep it. To remember me by." I stepped backwards gradually. "Goodbye Seeley Booth. I will always love you."

With that, I turned around and ran. I didn't know where I was running to. I didn't know why I was running. All I knew was that in the distance, I heard Booth yelling my name, calling me to go back.

To be with him.

I love you Seeley Booth.

A/N. Please don't hate me for this. Please don't.

Free Gifts: A kiss.
Reviews: Will be cherished greatly.