Chapter 23

"Sorry...I...I shouldn't have...I'll go," Salamander stuttered still standing in the grate staring open mouthed at the spectacle before him.

"No...no, you don't need to," Rose muttered walking over to the fire while rebuttoning her blouse, "I take it you wanted me?"

"I...I just wanted to talk to someone and you said if ever I needed to I...but I shouldn't have, I kept telling myself not to...you're...you're busy," he coughed, "I'll...I'll go," he finished.

"Wait," she shrieked running at the fireplace as he threw a handful of green dust into the air but it was too late he was gone in a flash and Rose found herself stood staring at swirling ash where moments before he had been stood, "Sal," she whispered as her chin dropped to her chest.

"Is...is everything alright?" a voice behind her asked and she felt two hands gently stroke her shoulders. At the touch she jumped and stepped forwards remembering suddenly what Salamander had just walked in and what it had obviously looked like.

"Oh...no," she replied turning to look at Roman who was still stood with a naked torso.

"Come back to the sofa," he whispered reaching out for her hand, she let him take it and lead her over but when she looked down at the crumpled blankets she shivered and stopped as he took a seat and beckoned her to join him.

"No...no, I'm...I'm sorry, I...I can't, " she cried and then she tore from the room as fast as her feet would carry her, racing up the stairs two at a time and almost crashing through her bedroom door. Once she had shut it behind her she locked it, not because she didn't trust the almost stranger downstairs or herself, but because she needed some kind of closure on what she had been about to do. Sitting on the edge of the bed she looked at her reflection in the mirror and saw a flushed face, glancing down she saw her tiny cleavage on display and realised that her bra was slid up over one breast where Roman had been sliding his hand up. She quickly undressed and pulled on her favourite, comfortable pyjama bottoms before seeking out the well worn and now faded quidditch shirt which had belonged to Salamander. Then she climbed into bed and tried to imagine what the scene must have looked like to him, especially as he had seemed stressed and needed someone to talk to. She had always promised to be there for him and though he never came, and she knew why, Rose felt as if she had let him down when he had finally ventured to talk to her. Why could she not have waited a few more weeks? Until they knew for sure about Gloria's baby, why had she decided now to throw herself at someone else? Someone who it had not felt quite right with but someone she had relented to for what reason she did not know?

Tossing and turning all night Rose barely slept and she was woken by the sound of Holly and her playmate moving around in the room next door shortly after the sun came up. She listened as they went downstairs and heard muffled voices talking when they discovered Goran's friend sleeping on the couch but Rose did not move for a long while. She just stared straight out of the window constantly replaying the terrible moment when Sal had flooed into her home. Eventually she realised that she had to be polite and get up and wrapping a large fluffy dressing gown around herself she headed down the stairs into the living room where this time she found a fully clothed Roman folding up the blankets he had slept in. "Morning," she said sheepishly making him turn around.

"Morning," he replied brightly.

"Where's Holly and Goran?" she asked shyly unable to look him in the eye.

"Out the back eating breakfast," he explained, "I was just about to join them."

"Oh...okay."

"Listen Rose about last night I-"

"I'm sorry," she interrupted, "it's not that it wasn't nice or...or...but that was...my-"

"Your ex," he interjected for her smiling in understanding.

"Yes," she nodded, "it's complicated," she went on and he nodded back.

"I sensed that something wasn't right before he appeared, I'm sorry for pushing myself on you," he apologised.

"It's not your fault," she replied, "honestly, like I said, it's complicated. I thought I was ready but when he showed up I realised that..."

"You're not," he finished for her still smiling in understanding.

"No," she whispered shaking her head, "sorry."

"Don't keep apologising," Roman said, "it's alright, really as long as we're okay?"

"Yeah, sorry," she repeated and they both began to chuckle as she realised what a decent man he was. If she hadn't been so confused and mixed up about her feelings for Salamander she would have commended her Uncle on his choice in men to set her up with.

Roman and Goran left shortly after and neither of them mentioned the previous night to their two friends, it was evident by the tired eyes and coat hanger smiles that the other two had thoroughly enjoyed their own night in Holly's bed and they practically had to magically remove themselves from each other when he had to leave. Roman rolled his eyes at Rose when he stepped into the fire ahead of Goran and they smiled at each other.

"You had a good night I take it?" Rose asked when they were finally alone.

"A very good night as a matter of fact," she blurted dropping onto the sofa with her hand over her heart, "Goran is unbelievable! I never knew a man who knew...so much!" she laughed staring off into space as if in a dream, "it was like he had octopus hands, they were everywhere all at once and doing amazing things to-"

"I don't need to know!" Rose interrupted holding up her hand at her friend.

"Okay...okay, just remind me to thank your Uncle the next time I see him," she guffawed while gazing dreamily out of the window. "Anyway what about you?"

"What about me?" Rose replied.

"You and Roman?" Holly went on smiling demurely and raising her eyebrow, "Inviting him back here!"

Rose felt her cheeks begin to flare so she grabbed hold of the blankets Roman had used which were still on the end of the sofa, "Only because he was stuck!"

"Yeah right!" Holly teased throwing a soft cushion at her friend.

"Excuse me," Rose returned turning to look at her housemate, "but in case you didn't notice he slept on this sofa and not in my bed!"

"So!"

"What do you mean so?"

"That doesn't mean anything, so he was down here on the sofa when we got up, it doesn't mean that he slept down here, you could have chucked him out of bed when you'd finished!" she giggled.

"He stayed down here all night thank you very much."

"And where were you?"

"In bed!" Rose shrieked in retaliation, her cheeks were flaming now and she was struggling to hide it from Holly.

"All night? From the moment you got in until the moment you got up?" she goaded.

"Well we had a coffee first and then he went up to use the bathroom while I tidied up and put the cat out."

"And then?" Holly probed sitting on the edge of the sofa and looking at her friend.

"And then I...I went to bed."

"Liar," Holly shouted.

"I...what...? No I...I...I'm..."

"Stuttering like a criminal held at wandpoint without any defence!" she chuckled, "Come on Rose, what happened?"

"Nothing," she whispered looking down.

"Rose?" Holly goaded again lifting the tone of her voice at the end of her name, "I'm not going to judge you, you are entitled to a bit of fun you know," she went on softly sitting back and smiling serenely.

"I was going to go up to bed," Rose began.

"But...?"

"Well I'd blown out the candle before I put Tanner out and Roman thought I must have gone up while he was in the bathroom so when I stepped into the living room to go up he was...undressed."

"And...?" Holly asked sounding intrigued and shuffling to the front of the sofa again.

"I just watched him."

"Rose!" Holly shrieked, "And then?"

"Well he turned around and he saw me and he pulled his trousers back up quickly."

"But did you get a peek at the goods?" Holly chuckled.

"Holly!" Rose shrieked back at her.

"Oh come on, give me something juicy, we haven't had a talk like this since...since," before I started seeing Sal, Rose thought to herself as she saw her friend struggling to come up with a way to say it, "well in ages! So...did you?"

"Yes," Rose whispered nodding her head and blushing again.

"And?" Holly pushed on.

"And...he kissed me."

"And...?" she said in a louder voice desperate to hear the tale and know that her friend had got back on the wagon again.

"And it felt weird, strange."

"But not bad?" Holly said sensing that Sal had once again got in the way of her romance.

"No, not bad, just different and I was unsure but he picked me up and carried me over here," she went on placing a hand on the sofa arm.

"So did you shag him?" Holly asked bluntly, "Was he any good?"

"No," Rose replied sullenly.

"He was crap?" Holly mouthed looking mortified for her friend.

"No, no I mean I didn't sleep with him."

"But why not?" Holly asked in a confused voice.

"Because of..." she drifted off and didn't finish the sentence.

"Salamander," Holly ended for her sighing deeply. "Oh Rose, you have to stop letting him get in the way of your happiness Honey," she went on moving over to the other side of the sofa and putting a hand on her friend's knee which she rubbed lovingly, "I know you loved him, a lot, but he's got a whole other life now and you need to find one too. You can't keep thinking about him every time you get close to someone else, don't let him stop you from doing what your body desires. You have to stop thinking about him."

"I wasn't thinking about him," she explained looking into Holly's eyes.

"So why did you let him stop you?"

"Because he..." she hesitated, so far she had told no one about their encounters since they had split up and she had wanted to keep them a secret. Rose glanced away looking secretive and Holly gasped.

"He actually stopped you?" Holly guessed raising her eyebrows in concern, "He was here?" she jumped up in outrage as Rose looked over to the window trying to hide the truth which she knew was written across her face. "Rose?" Holly asked vehemently, "Has he been coming to see you?"

"What...?" she returned seeing an angry look on her friend's face, "No, no just...just last night," she lied hoping Holly would believe her.

"Are you sure?" she asked looking at Rose warily.

"Yes, he just...he flooed in last night and Roman had me, pinned against the sofa arm with his hand in my opened blouse."

"Oh Merlin, I bet Sal was..." she didn't finish the sentence.

"He didn't stay, he said he'd just needed someone to talk to but he flooed straight back out again."

"Good," Holly replied, "and he needs to stay out, he has to remember he's not part of your life anymore and you have to remember that too. So what happened when he had gone?" she asked gently.

"I went up to bed."

"Rose!" Holly shrieked.

"I...I couldn't," she sobbed.

"I know," Holly placated walking to Rose's side and rubbing her shoulders, "I understand Rose, but like I said you have to stop letting him get in the way, I know it's not easy but you obviously made some connection with Roman, maybe if you met him again? He seemed quite understanding and was nice enough with you this morning even though he didn't get laid!"

"Holly!"

"Well I said I'd meet up with Goran later in the week, perhaps we can double date?" she suggested getting giddy and jumping up and down, "oh that would be so much fun!"

"I...I don't know if I..." she tried to say but her friend glared at her and she decided to leave the argument until another time, she would find another way out of being set up with him again.

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Rose spent the rest of the day lounging around the house while Holly was visiting her family, she thought back on Salamander's visit and wondered what he had wanted to talk about. She had always promised to be there if he needed her but she felt guilty that she wasn't there last night. It must have been hard for him to see her with someone else like that and the more she remembered it the guiltier she felt, he was going through enough without having to see her being fondled by another man. She wanted to go and find Salamander both to explain herself and to find out why he had needed her but she couldn't go to the flat as Gloria was likely to be there and if Holly's response to the news that they had contacted each other was anything to go by if she tried to ask James or anyone else to help her she would probably be lynched. By the end of the day she had resigned herself to the fact that Sal would probably never come back and though she would see him again someday he would not seek her out again for comfort or companionship after the previous night.