Since it is summer after all, I've gotten to update three times! Yay! I'm so incredibly glad school's over… for now. ;-;
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"Kanda! Allen!" Komui chirped with lunacy, causing everyone in the entire cafeteria, including the two aforementioned, shiver and suddenly feel the need to grab a weapon or activate their Innocence. Kanda stopped swearing in Japanese for a moment, and then cursed quickly in English.
"Fuck, this can't be good…" Kanda put his hand on the hilt of Mugen, ready to slice and dice at any time. Allen secretly seconded this judgment, but then beat himself up mentally for agreeing with Kanda.
"In my office! And don't be late, 'cause I've got a surprise for you!" Komui then proceeded to dance up the stairs to his lair like an extremely masculine prima donna ballerina on a coffee high.
"There goes my weekend," muttered Allen sadly, for he'd just come back from a mission late last night and was actually quite exhausted. The glare Kanda shot at him cured him of those feelings immediately. God, if you're there, I think you made a bit of a mistake making Kanda a man. It's kind of obvious that he suffers from permanent PMS…
"Come on, stupid Moyashi." Allen drifted slowly from his reverie, exhaling like a man does at a horse race when he realizes he bet his house again on the horse that just had to buck its jockey at the last minute and run like hell from the stadium.
But with Komui, you really never knew what he had in store for you, so you'd better hurry if you valued you're life. His moods changed faster than Kanda's, which was nearly downright impossible. Anyhow, the two teens made their way to the Supervisor's office, waded through a sea of paper in which Allen cried, "My boot! Something's got my boot!" And finally, sans one shoe, they plopped onto the squashy green couch that really wasn't so squashy and comfortable, because, you see, it was also covered in paper.
"Hello. Hello. Hello." Komui giggled shrilly, imitating Jim Carrey when he acted as Count Olaf. Needless to say, this was absolutely terrifying. Even the stoic samurai exorcist had to struggle to resist the shudders that ran down his spine.
"What the hell do you want, Komui?" Kanda growled, scowling mightily, "Is it a mission?"
"No, no, no! Of course not, Kanda!" Komui, "Err, would you wake Allen up? He seems to have passed out."
Kanda slapped Allen hard in the face, and the cursed youth woke up immediately. "Gahhh! Kanda! The Komurins and coming! The Komurins are coming!" Realizing everyone was staring at him, he coughed, and with a small, "Excuse me," the meeting was resumed.
"Today I noticed some very peculiar behavior in the cafeteria between Mr. Kanda and Mr. Walker," Komui began slowly, "It really hurt me to see you two acting so oddly. Actually, the sight was completely scarring to my mentality. So, now I am going to send you two on a Journey of Recovery. You two will agree on a place to go together, and I shall send you there, providing both housing and some allowance for your needs. Is there any specific place you'd like to go?"
Kanda stopped for a moment and groaned, "It's not a mission." Then he hissed, "What the fuck are you talking about, Komui? I'm not going anywhere with Moyashi that doesn't have a purpose."
"Of course it has a purpose, Kanda! It's a Journey of Recovery. You two are going to recover." Komui spoke slowly as if the Japanese teen was mentally challenged, but that only irritated the long-haired boy even more.
"I'm an exorcist, for God's sake! I'm not some messed up person at therapy or a crack-addict at rehab!" Kanda began pulling out Mugen threateningly.
"I am the Supervisor!" Komui squeaked, hiding on his desk. Oh dear, the situation's even worse than I thought! Kanda's not even attacking Allen with Mugen at all! Thank goodness I thought of this plan. I need to get them angry at each other, not me!
Allen sat up straight, "Komui, I don't need this, either! I really would not like to go on a trip with Kanda if it's meaningless. I mean, I see enough of him at the Order."
Komui leapt up and dashed to Allen, taking him by the shoulders and then sobbing repeatedly, tears staining the high-quality black cloth of Allen's uniform. What has Kanda been doing to Allen?! Something very kinky, I assume, for they "see enough" of each other as is. Are they LOVERS?? And my plan's not meaningless! Komui angry! Komui very angry! Hmph, I was right after all. The boys need this trip. Allen and Kanda must hate each other!!
As Komui thumped his chest with passion, crying a flood, Allen shrieked. "Disgusting! Revolting! Ohmygod, EWWW!!"
"Get off, both of you!" Kanda roared, tearing Komui off Allen and then shouting in his face, "What's wrong with you?"
Komui interpreted this as a sign of possessiveness. "YOU ARE NOT CHOOSING THE DESTINATION!" he screamed in a high pitched voice, "AAAAAAllen! Where do you want to go?"
Allen gripped his hair tightly. Komui was obviously not going to budge. Somewhere I can have fun… Somewhere with lots and lots of food… Damn, I want something sweet right now. Hmm…
"Ah, I've got it!" said Allen, raising his fist in a sign of victory, "Let's go to Hershey Park!"
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It's not that Komui doesn't want Allen and Kanda to be a couple. It's just that he finds the sight of them cooperating really, really, traumatic. Plus Allen said his plan was meaningless. XP