Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight, not matter how much I wish I did.
This turned out to be a bit longer than I was expecting. Once I started typing, I just went with it, not realizing how far off base I was getting. But I'm pretty happy with where it turned out, although it pushed my story line back a bit. Hopefully you'll enjoy it! Review and let me know what you think!
- perfectshadeofdarkblue
Best Definition of Good Intentions
2: Hell is So Close & Heaven's Out of Reach
Bella had hardly shut down the engine of her red truck before looking up to see an excited Alice making her way out of the house. Alice stopped short at the end of the stairs so she wouldn't be walking barefoot across the dirt. Despite her best efforts to stand still, Bella could tell Alice's excitement could not be contained. Just to be funny and annoy her friend, Bella slowly got out of the cab and walked around to the passenger door to remove her bag. Only then did she look up to meet Alice's expectant gaze.
"Come on, Bella! It's bad enough your truck is so slow – you don't have to be, too!" Bella could see Alice silently debate with herself while she tried to decide whether her patience would last or if she should race through the dirt to drag Bella into the house.
Bella only laughed and quickly shed her snail's pace, barreling up the stairs and following Alice through the front door. Closing the front door and turning to face the interior of the house, Bella was hit with the scent of food cooking.
"Alice, it smells so good! What's your mom cooking?" Bella asked curiously, trailing Alice towards the back of the house, towards the fresh aroma.
"Bella, dear!" Esme's voice rang out over the sounds of cooking. A moment later, she appeared, walking out of the kitchen to envelope Bella in her loving arms. "I'm making meatloaf. Emmett claims it as his favorite, but I personally believe he'd eat anything you put in front of him without complaint. That boy certainly can eat!" After laughing at her son's enormous appetite, Esme finally took a good look at the girl wrapped in her arms. "Why, Bella, you look absolutely stunning! I swear, you just get prettier and prettier each time I see you!"
Bella blushed, slightly unnerved by Esme's comments. Bella spent just as much time at the Cullen's home as she did her own, and Esme acted as though she was Bella's mother whenever the girl was in her home. However, Bella never felt comfortable when the attention came to rest on her, especially when it involved her appearance. She didn't understand how Esme could possibly think she looked nice, never mind stunning, when she was standing next to her daughter. Even though Alice was adopted, as was Emmett, she was beautiful enough to allow people to believe she had inherited those genes from her gorgeous mother. When Bella overcame her embarrassment, she simply replied, "Thanks, Esme."
"Why don't you girls go on upstairs so you can put Bella's bags down. Emmett went to pick up Rosalie and should be back in a few minutes, and dinner shouldn't be too much longer." Esme turned her attention back to the meal she was preparing as Alice and Bella started ascending the stairs.
No matter how many times Bella was a guest in the Cullen's house, she never got used to its elegance. The entire back wall was a window, allowing an outstanding view into the forest that surrounded their small town. Bella got caught up in staring out into the luscious green landscape and missed a step. She dropped her bag, but managed to prevent herself from rolling back down the staircase.
"Is that Bella I hear?" a gentle voice came from the top of the stairs.
Not bothering to get up, Bella only lifted her head and watched as Carlisle's darkened figure appeared at the top of the stairs. Despite the poor lighting, Bella could picture his young face perfectly, not needing to see the laugh lines that would appear as he chuckled about her clumsiness.
"I'm not on call tonight, Bella, and I was actually looking forward to a quiet evening without work. So you think you can manage to stay in one piece?" Carlisle made his way down the steps to help Bella up, since his daughter had long ago made her way to her room because of her intolerance of Bella's slower pace. After helping her get steady on her feet, Carlisle pulled Bella into a hug.
"Laugh all you want, Carlisle, but you know you've got job security as long as I'm around," Bella joked back. It was impossible for her to be aggravated with Carlisle's teasing. After all, he was the one she would run to whenever she was injured. He worked at the local Emergency Room, and whether he was working, on call or not, any time Bella made a visit, Dr. Cullen was called in to treat her.
"How do your parents tolerate you being away so much? With that sense of humor, I'd want you around all the time. Do they ever get nervous that one day you'll realize how much easier it would be if you just lived here instead?" Second to only Bella's clumsiness, Carlisle liked to joke about the amount of time Bella spent at their house. However, Bella's good mood couldn't tolerate that much, even if it was from Carlisle.
"To be honest, I really don't think they notice," Bella mumbled quietly. She smiled at Carlisle and continued her journey to Alice's room, but Alice was no where in sight.
Bella dropped her bag on the floor, and flopped onto Alice's queen-sized bed. She smiled as she sank into the piles of fabric and looked over to the dresser. Alice had several pictures on the top of her dresser including pictures of her family, her boyfriend Jasper and one of the two best friends. Picking it up, Bella silently remembered the day it was taken. Alice had only just moved to Forks the week before, just in time for the start of the school year. The two girls had met the first day of high school and Bella had invited Alice to eat lunch with her friends. Bella could only imagine being the new girl in such a small town. Everyone knew everyone, and had known everyone practically since birth. Bella cringed at the thought of having that much attention thrown on you at once, but Alice had only reveled in it. She easily made friends with everyone, and even though the girls were jealous of her great looks and designer clothes, they accepted her into the group. At times, Alice thought the only reason her transition was so smooth was because all the girls were curious about her very attractive, muscular, older brother. Countless times that day she told the story of her family, more specifically how she and Emmett had been adopted when they were younger. Neither had much recollection of their lives prior to Carlisle and Esme taking them in, which made sense since Alice had only been only 4 years old at the time. Apparently, she and Emmett had formed a very tight bond at the orphanage and even though Carlisle and Esme had only planned on adopting one child, they soon realize they couldn't split up the duo. That weekend Bella's friends had been planning on going to the beach at La Push so Bella didn't hesitate to invite Alice along. The picture had been taken while the two girls were sitting around the bonfire they had built. Even though the picture was nearly two years ago, Bella felt she looked the same in the photo as she did now. The wind was blowing her brown hair around her neck as well as causing a flush across her cheeks as she laughed at something. On the other hand, it was apparent how Alice had changed since that beach trip. It had been before she cut her hair, so her almost-black hair was mixing with Bella's because of the wind, and she had a bright smile stretched across her innocent face. Her face was still just as innocent now, but it had definitely matured over time. And even though her hair was shoulder-length in the picture, she barely had half as much now with her no-fuss pixie cut that suited her personality perfectly.
"You know, I could just make you a copy of that picture since you obviously love it so much. You are always looking at it," Alice suddenly brought Bella out of her reverie as she made her entrance.
"Sorry," Bella said, looking down and blushing softly. "I can't get over how it feels like it was taken so long ago, even though it's only been maybe a year and a half. Things just seemed so much simpler then."
Alice took her traditional spot on the bed next to Bella against the headboard and pulled her friend in close. As Bella rested her head on Alice's shoulder, Alice resolved to remain strong for her. It was always difficult for either of the girls to see the other in such a sad mood, but Alice knew giving in to her own sorrow would not help Bella. "Bella, I'm so sorry all this is going on. You know I love you though, and am here no matter what. But this is not the time to think about it, we've got celebrating to do! They may think that we're celebrating Emmett's acceptance into Seattle, but we know what it really means. The fact that starting next year he won't be around to guilt trip his little sisters into behaving better!"
Bella laughed despite herself. She always found it impossible to have a sullied mood around Alice. Bella couldn't think of a better best friend to have; Alice always knew exactly the right thing to stay to pull Bella back to the surface.
"And even though he won't be leaving for awhile, I say we start tonight at the Spring Bonfire!" Alice continued.
And just like that, Bella really snapped out of her reverent mood.
"Why are you so bent on going to the bonfire? We both know it's really just an excuse for all the seniors to get drunk in anticipation of college. Doesn't really sound like that good of a time to me," Bella pulled herself away from Alice's body and turned to face her on the bed. The Spring Bonfire was held the first weekend of the spring, in celebration of the fact that the most miserable weather was finally past them. Bella always found it slightly ironic because the beginning of spring only brought more rain, instead of snow to Forks, Washington. Despite being advertised as celebration of the seasonal change, it was really more of an excuse for the seniors to get excited about all their college plans. It was a goodbye to high school life for the older students and it signified moving up the school ranks for the rest of the student body – really just a reason for all of the students to have a good time together. The school had less than 400 students, and with the exception of the few transfer students, like the Cullen's, they had all grown up together and were all close.
"Come on, Bella. You don't really think it's not going to be fun, do you?" Alice was already starting to contort her face in her best effort to guilt trip Bella.
"If I was hanging out with you, it would be. But we both know that as soon as we get there, you're going to go off with Jasper since it's been a good 36 hours since you've seen each other. And I'm really not looking forward to hanging out with a drunk Mike Newton, who will continually try to ask me out." Bella could see exactly how the evening's festivities would play out.
Alice smiled meekly, realizing Bella had a point. Even though she and Jasper wouldn't be sneaking off anywhere, because they just weren't like that, she could understand not wanting to be the third wheel. Even though Bella was good friends with Jasper, she understood the couple might want some privacy every now and then, of which Alice was extremely grateful.
"Is Angela going?" Alice asked, trying to find some way to convince Bella to attend the bonfire.
"Probably not. She feels even more awkward than I do at these things."
"Let's call and ask her! That way, you guys would at least have each other," Alice reasoned and as much as Bella didn't want to give in, she could see the logic. Bella hated being the one to hold Alice back from the things she wanted to do, so she usually let herself be talked into these grand schemes. Besides, she realized that if Angela was there, the entire night might not be too bad. Angela didn't drink either, so there would be at least one other person that Bella could rely on to not act like an idiot.
"Okay, you win." With that Alice squealed and started jumping on the bed. Bella tried throwing pillow after pillow at her peppy friend, only to watch Alice duck each one. Suddenly they felt the house shake around them and Alice collapsed onto the bed.
"Girls, dinner's ready!" Esme called up the stairs. Both girls started laughing when they realized the shaking must have been due to Emmett's slamming the door after arriving with his girlfriend, Rosalie, for dinner. Before heading down the stairs, Bella pulled her phone out of her bag to send Angela a text message, inviting her to the bonfire.
"Come on, guys! I'm hungry!" Emmett's loud voice boomed up the stairs.
Throwing the phone on the bed on their way out the door, Bella and Alice only laughed. They walked in to the dining room where the rest of the family was seated, patiently waiting for them before starting the meal.
"What, Emmett? Has it been a whole two hours since you last ate?" Alice teased her older brother.
"Isn't this my celebration dinner? That means you're suppose to be nice to me!" Emmett shot back. Bella loved seeing the sibling interaction. Her own family life was so devoid of any such teasing that she truly enjoyed the bickering she witnessed inside the Cullen's house. It was so different from the bickering she witnessed inside her own home.
"Hey Emmett, Rosalie," Bella smiled as she took her usual place at the table next to Alice. Emmett beamed back at her while Rosalie gave her a curt nod. Even though Bella and Rosalie spent a fair amount of time around each other, they never really seemed to click, not for lack of effort of Bella's part. Every time she tried to make conversation with the super-model look alike that posed as Emmett's girlfriend, she was readily dismissed. It was as though Rosalie did not think Bella deserved a place at the table because of her ordinary looks. Bella was just happy that Rosalie was never outwardly mean. Sure, she wasn't exactly nice, but she was never truly mean. Bella accounted that to the fact that Emmett viewed her as another younger sister and would not tolerate anyone treating her poorly.
The rest of the dinner passed by pleasantly as conversation flowed easily across the table. Everyone lost track of time as they continued to sit around the table talking, while Esme quietly excused herself to start clearing the table. Soon after, Bella got up and brought another handful of plates into the kitchen where Esme was standing at the sink.
"Oh, Bella, honey, you didn't need to do that. Go back out there and enjoy yourself," Esme shooed her away while continuing to fill the sink with water, allowing the pots and pans to soak.
"I'd rather stay here, if you don't mind. I can help you dry the dishes," Bella offered quietly.
"Well, of course, I don't mind," Esme smiled as Bella grabbed a dish towel out of the drawer and waited for Esme to pass the plates onto her after she had sufficiently scrubbed them.
They worked in silence, comfortably falling into a routine. The older woman stole glances to her side every few moments to watch Bella, whose eyes were on the remaining members still sitting at the dining room table, laughing easily. It took Esme a few moments before addressing Bella again.
Very quietly, she asked, "Is everything alright?"
Despite the generality of the question, Bella knew what Esme meant. She also knew that even if she answered that she was "fine, just fine," Esme wouldn't believe her lies. It had nothing to do with Bella's inability to lie; Esme knew Bella as well as if she was her own daughter and could sense that something was not sitting right with the girl now. Bella silently debated the possibilities in her mind before answering. She could tell Esme that everything was alright and it would be understood that she didn't want to talk about it. As Bella opened her mouth to say this, she immediately thought better of it. Maybe it would do her some good to talk to someone besides Alice about what was going on.
"The whole family thing just gets to me sometimes." Bella stared at her hands, aptly drying the dish and busied herself by putting it away so she wouldn't have to see Esme's compassionate expression.
"What do you mean?" That was one of Bella's favorite things about talking to Esme; she never assumed to know how she was feeling. She demonstrated all the patience in the world, asking what exactly was going on, helping her make sense of it all in her head before offering any kind of advice.
"I've gotten so used to the quiet life at my house, where I'm usually the only one home. And even if I'm not, my parents hardly speak to each other these days," Bella could feel the liquid gathering and closed her eyes, taking in a deep breath. Esme remained silent, sensing Bella was not finished explaining how life existed inside the Swan residence. "It seems as though my mom comes to hate Forks more and more each day. I thought that this job in Seattle was suppose to make her happier, giving her a piece of big city life back, but it just seems like she's so miserable that she has to return home at the end of the day. I swear, she's just making up reasons to go into work on the weekends, just to get away from here - to get away from us. And it breaks my dad's heart. He doesn't show it, though. And how could he? He's the police chief; he's supposed to be tough. So he just puts all his energy into work. He doesn't know how to fix it. I can tell he's trying, though. Doing things that he thinks will make her happy, trying to make life at home as easy for her as possible. She'll hardly ever acknowledge him, though. And when she does, it always escalates into a fight – over the tiniest of things like how he plugged her cell phone in when he noticed the battery was running low, how he took her car to get washed, or how he cooked dinner instead of her one night. None of it makes sense, and when it happens it's like they forget I'm there. I've gotten so used to it, that it's a shock coming over here and seeing normal family interaction." The words rushed out of Bella's mouth before she had the chance to really think about what she was saying. She had never been this open about what was going on between the walls that comprised her home. Forks was such a small town that it wasn't hard for everyone to know that her mother wasn't happy here, but they all just assumed her parents were going through a rough patch. They'd made it 17 years, they would pull through, they assumed. Alice knew things were a bit worse off because she noticed how affected Bella was by it lately, she could obviously tell things were getting worse. Although Esme and Carlisle were not good friends with the Swans, they knew what was going on through the town gossip mill and knew more details from Alice when she talked to them about her concern for Bella.
During Bella's long-winded rant, Esme had stopped rinsing dishes, pulled the dish towel out of Bella's hand to dry her own hands, then placed it on the counter. Bella was still staring at her hands as though she hadn't noticed they were no longer holding the damp piece of cloth. Finally she looked up, allowing just a few tears to spill over and fall down her cheeks. Esme simply pulled Bella into a tight hug and soothed her. Bella, angry at herself for allowing that much to escape from her lips, was determined not to show how truly upset she was through her tears. She thought it was bad enough she spoke the haunting words. But before she pulled away, she whispered her true concern.
"I'm just so afraid my family isn't going to make it. What will happen to us?"
Esme put her hands onto Bella's shoulders and held her at arm's length, staring straight into those deep brown eyes, filled with worry. "I promise you, Bella, everything will work out. Even if it doesn't work out the way you would like, eventually everything will be okay. And don't forget that part of your family is right here, and always will be here. Nothing you do will change that." As Bella wiped the tears from her cheeks, Esme pulled her into her arms again, placing a kiss on the top of her head. "You've always got us, Bella."
Bella simply nodded and picked up the dish towel and began to dry again as though no time had passed. Esme returned to her washing and the two were soon laughing to themselves while they eavesdropped on the conversation taking place in the other room. It was apparent that Carlisle, Emmett and Alice were having a contest to see who could tell the most entertaining story and the amount of laughter that escaped from Rosalie determined the score. Bella and Esme placed their bets as to who they thought would come out the winner, agreeing that it was sure to be Carlisle since he had much more material to draw from. Then they began to laugh, trying to guess which story would be told next – even though Carlisle had endless material to use, he always repeated the same stories time and time again.
Soon, Carlisle began to tell Rosalie stories of Emmett's childhood. After the first story, Emmett decided it was time for him to take Rosalie upstairs to hang out away from his parents, so he could be saved some embarrassment. After Emmett and Rosalie left the table, Alice and Carlisle came into the kitchen where Bella and Esme had finished doing the dishes and were now enjoying cups of coffee. Alice, who needed no coffee to stay her perky self late into the night, allowed Bella to finish her cup before dragging her upstairs to get ready for the bonfire.
Alice shut the door to her room and marched over to her closet where she began to randomly pull clothes out and throw them onto her bed. She spoke without looking up, "What did you bring to wear to the bonfire, Bella?"
Bella was suddenly glad for her sudden thought to bring an alternative outfit for the bonfire. Even though she had vowed pay her troubles no mind, in order to have a good time, after showing her weakness in the kitchen, she wasn't sure if she'd be able to tolerate Alice picking apart her wardrobe and forcing her to wear something she was not comfortable in. A smug smile played across Bella's lips, "See for yourself. My bag's behind you."
Alice stopped rummaging through her closet and shot Bella and curious look, to which Bella just laughed. Alice bent down and pulled out the jeans and red shirt that were on top of the other clothes in the bag. Suddenly, Bella's expression made sense. Alice laughed, "Why, Bella, aren't you going to look cute tonight!"
"Thanks, Alice. You know I try," Bella responded, to which both girls burst out laughing because it was a well-known fact that Bella actually didn't try very hard when it came to her appearance. Whereas Alice spent a long time perfecting her appearance every chance she got, Bella dressed to not attract extra attention. She never looked bad, but Alice always thought she had much more potential than what she generally settled for herself.
Alice walked into her bathroom holding several outfits so she could get a better look in her full-length mirror, while Bella remained on the bed, playing with her cell phone.
"What do you think? Yellow or blue?" Alice called out.
"I think it doesn't matter because it's going to be dark. Besides you're going to have a jacket on anyway," Bella smartly replied.
"And here I was, thinking you'd turned over a new fashion leaf," Alice head appeared from the other side of the door frame. Bella just stuck her tongue out.
"Hey, Angela's in! I told her we'd pick her up on our way," Bella shouted, putting her cell phone down and getting off the bed to gather her clothes.
Bella quickly changed and walked into the bathroom where Alice was standing styling her hair. Apparently, Alice had decided against both the yellow and blue options, opting for a green shirt instead. Alice nodded to acknowledge Bella's statement about Angela and continued to fix her hair while Bella brushed her teeth. As soon as Alice had finished her own hair, she pulled a chair over and sat Bella in it while she was still brushing her teeth. Bella looked up at Alice quizzically, to which Alice pushed Bella's head straight so she was staring at her reflection in the mirror, watching Alice free her hair of its pony tail holder. Bella only rolled her eyes, knowing it was useless to fight Alice. As she adeptly played with Bella's hair, Bella watched the petite girl work her magic. After only a matter of minutes, Bella's hair was pulled back across her crown with accentuated volume at the top. Though her hair still hung straight down her back, the ends were slightly curled, giving the overall appearance of more volume. As Bella turned her head in the mirror she wondered how Alice made it shine so much in such a short amount of time.
"Thanks, Alice. It looks good," Bella said standing up and walking back into the room as Alice trailed behind her.
The girls grabbed their jackets and headed downstairs.
"Bye Mom, Dad!" Alice called out as they passed where Esme and Carlisle were curled up on the couch together. They had the television on, showing the nightly news, but neither was paying attention because they were reading their respective favorite parts of the newspaper. Carlisle waved without looking up, while Esme called out after them.
"You girls have a good time tonight!"
Once they were in the car and making their way to Angela's house, Bella took Alice's iPod out of the glove compartment and plugged it into the radio. As she scrolled through the songs to find something that appealed to her, she broke the silence.
"I can't believe how cool your parents are about going the bonfire. My dad didn't even know I was going when he set me down to persuade me to be careful," Even though all the parents of Forks High School students knew what went on at the annual bonfire, none of them tried to put a stop to it. They all assumed they lived in too small of a town for anything truly bad to happen.
"It's only because Emmett's going to be there. And he'd prevent me from having any fun if it were possible," Alice laughed as she pulled in the driveway of a modest two-story white house. She punched the center of the steering wheel twice, resulting in two short beeps of the horn, letting Angela know they were there waiting for her. Then Alice pulled the iPod out of Bella's hand, scrolling to a new playlist she had made. She set the iPod down as the sounds of "Shake It" by Metro Station filled the car.
Bella and Alice were soon dancing in their seats in the car, as they watched Angela make her way out of the house and down the driveway.
"Hey guys," Angela greeted as she slide into the car behind Bella. "My brother says nice car, by the way."
Alice only laughed at that comment. For her sixteenth birthday, only a few months earlier, her parents had bought her this car, understanding her need for speed and knowing that if they got her anything less, she'd have been unhappy. Alice knew they were getting it for her, but still acted surprised when she had walked outside to see her yellow Porshce 911 Turbo waiting with a big, red bow on top.
"Your brother's home?" Bella asked, turning in her seat to get a good look at Angela.
"Yea. He just got home today. It's his spring break, so he has to head back to school at the end of the week," Angela explained, tucking a piece of her light brown hair behind her ear. Her hair had only a slight natural curl to it, making it always look beautifully styled, without ever putting forth any effort. She was wearing a plain white shirt with her navy blue jacket on top. She had applied just a touch of make-up, giving her big, round eyes a soft glow.
"I'm so glad you could come, Angela," Bella said sweetly, turning back around in her seat.
"Me, too. I think it's going to be a lot of fun!" Angela laughed. Even though she was shy, she really enjoyed spending time with all her friends. Angela was happy that Bella had invited her to go with them because that meant the two of them could sit back together and not worry about being left out. They always had such comfortable silence.
"That's right, it's going to be a lot of fun!" Alice shouted as she cranked the radio back up. The three girls spent the remainder of the drive singing, and yelling, at the top of their lungs, while dancing in their seats.
All too soon, they pulled up to the beach parking lot. Alice quickly turned her car into the spot next to Jasper's, where he was patiently leaning against the trunk of his car, talking to some of his friends. Alice cut the engine and jumped out of the car, and straight into Jasper's arms it seemed. His calm face immediately lit up at the feel of his girlfriend in his arms. Setting her down, he dragged a hand through his shaggy blonde hair as he watched Bella and Angela climb out of the car.
"Hey, guys," he called over.
Bella and Angela waved across the car as they closed the distance between them.
"You two have fun," Bella smirked as she and Angela passed the group to walk down to the beach. Before climbing down the stairs, she turned back, "And don't forget to tell me before you break the guitar out. You know how much I love hearing you play!" It was bonfire tradition for Jasper and his small group of close friends to break out their guitars, and make shift drums, and entertain the crowd into the night. As soon as they started playing, the entire energy of the night shifted, and Bella didn't feel as though it was complete without.
"Oh, don't worry, I will," Jasper called out after her. "Oh, and Bella!"
"Yea?" Bella stood still and turned around to face Jasper again.
"Mike Newton was looking for you!" Jasper shouted, laughing to himself. Alice, who was learning against Jasper underneath his left arm, laughed loudly enough for everyone to hear.
"Anyone want to place bets on how many times Bella gets asked out tonight?" Angela shouted, which earned another round of laughter.
"Oh please," Bella rolled her eyes, turning back to the party scene before her. "Come on, Angela. Let's have some fun!"