Chapter 2: Close Encounters of the Vain Kind
The Do Do a Go Go was more extravagant on the inside than on the outside. Upon first entry it was easy notice the inside had a tropical themed decor. The walls were painted in an abstract mixture of emerald and blue-green. Swirling brown columns lined up each wall with palm tree fronds jutting out from the top and bottom. Paintings with the likeness of Dali and Kandinsky decorated the walls with no particular rhyme or reason. Yellow lights shaped as glass spheres hung down from the ceiling. This bizarre building is often considered to be the most beautiful ones in the entire Moonrise Strip.
"You guys see him yet? Let's look over there!" All of this however was completely unnoticed as Dot hastily grabbed her brothers by the arms as they busily searched for Giovanni throughout the main lobby. "He's got to be here, all the biggest stars come here!"
"Slow down! My arm can't take it anymore!" Wakko complained as his arm had already been stretched twice its normal length.
"Yeah Dot, he's probably not even here yet." Yakko added, finally managing to slow her down. "Besides he's a celebrity, you don't just see people like him walking through the front…" His statement was cut off by the sight of Dot's tongue drooping down to her feet while her black eyes became as big as saucers. Her brothers were about to wonder if she just had a sudden lobotomy until they looked in her direction.
It was none other than Giovanni Jones himself. The singer was proudly coming through the front entrance amidst the chaos of several camera flashes and rabid fans held back by bodyguards. As he pushed open the glass doors, the sounds of screaming fan girls could be heard from outside.
"He's even more magnificent in person!" Dot swooned.
"Girls..." Both brothers sighed.
His appearance struck the attention of her brothers as they began to noticed something oddly familiar about him. Up until now, they didn't really know what he looked like. They figured they must have missed out on that detail in the process of drowning out Dot's incessant chatting about him.
Pudgy and heavyset, the man confidently strutted towards them with his chest puffed up. His regal attire consisted of an all-black suit, pink shirt, and red bow tie and cummerbund. He lightly rustled his blond hair, stylized in a large comb over haircut.
"I've seen him before, he was in that Bugs Bunny cartoon wasn't he?" Wakko whispered in realization to his older brother.
"Long Haired Hare? Yep, and he looks just as pompous and bloated as I thought he would be" Yakko answered. He winced as he felt a jab in his shoulder.
"Quit being so judgmental and back up a bit!" Dot scolded. "I'm going to get his attention"
"By swooning and fainting until you fall to ity bity pieces?" Wakko asked.
"Nope, I'm going for a more subtle approach. I have to be poised, refined. I'm not some crazed fangirl."
"Look who's the pot calling the kettle black" Yakko muttered as Giovanni was quickly getting closer to them. Dot hastily put on red lipstick before posing, putting her hands on her hips with her right leg pointed out.
"Hello sir, how do you do?" she stated eloquently while doing a curtsey.
The man coldly passed by her and her siblings without bothering to pass a second glance, and headed straight toward a large mirror at the far end of the lobby. Dot's smile faltered bit before it returned with a deep sigh. Her brothers' smiles on the other hand, had vanished entirely.
"I don't think it's working Dot" Wakko commented, tapping her shoulder.
"Ah, He's one of the strong silent types" Dot sighed not taking her eyes off him. Giovanni was still at the mirror adjusting his bow tie.
"Really, he seems more like the vain shallow types" Yakko retorted, crossing his arms. Dot ignored his comment as her eyes turned to red hearts. For her, this was a dream come true.
"I can't believe he's actually here! I think I'm getting light-headed." Dot swooned as she literally began to float off the ground, but only scaled a few inches until her drooping necklaces anchored her back down. "Well almost…" she strained.
"Remember that conversation we had earlier about you going overboard on your attire?" Yakko joked as Wakko giggled.
"Fine! I gotta go freshen up anyway. In the meantime, see if you can get his autograph for me!" she called out as she ran off to find the nearest restroom.
"Will do!" Both of her brothers called back. They turned around to see that Giovanni was no longer preening in front of the mirror. Instead, he was already heading towards the entrance of the building's mini restaurant.
"Alright little brother, after the fat opera singer!" Yakko called out as the two of them followed right behind the singer. They barely made a few feet inside as they bounced into the belly of a large bouncer at the entrance. Both of them dizzily looked up as the large scowling man towered above them. The small amount of fat in his gut was compensated by the large amount muscles in his hairy arms. A name tag on his red suit jacket revealed that his name was Paul.
"This is a private section. No one gets in without a pass" the bouncer answered in a deep guttural voice. Yakko winked to his brother before he spun around briefly. His normal black tux changed into a red and white striped suit.
"Well sir I got an offer you can't refuse. We've got more than what you're asking for!" Yakko exclaimed as a salesman.
"What are you offering?" Paul smirked crossing his arms.
"We have all sorts of passes; bus passes, hall passes, city passes, and basketball passes!" His brother assisted by shoving a variety of passes, along with a basketball into the bouncer's face. "I'm pretty sure any these will count as ready substitute?" The man narrowed his eyes at the Warners as he held the passes in one hand, and spun the basketball on his finger in the other one.
"Let's see, already got a car, I ain't no student late for class, don't need a pass for a city I already live in, and I'm not a basketball fan. Got anything else?" Yakko stood dumbfounded at his response; it wasn't the usual response he got from that bit.
"Uh… Sure there's still room to make an exchange?" he spoke innocently. The bouncer ripped off his suit, revealing his normal suit underneath, and grabbed both him and Wakko by the back of their necks.
"Sure! You can exchange this for a free pass, outta here!" he commanded as he lifted his leg up to kick them out.
"Hey, is anyone in your family a security guard?" Wakko asked innocently just before the man's foot made contact with their tails.
"Huh? Yeah, my brother Ralph, What's it to ya?" he asked, his scowl immediately vanishing.
"We know him! He's one of our special friends!" Wakko chirped as he pulled a picture out from underneath his shirt and gave it to him. It showed Ralph smiling while holding Warners in his arms inside a photo booth. What it didn't show was that it was taken just a second before an anvil flatted his head during one of their chases a few months back. Yakko noticed that Paul indeed looked awfully similar to Ralph except for a few details. The flabby face was spot on, except for the fact that it was completely clean-shaven and topped off with a thin tuff of black hair on his head. After a few seconds of looking at the picture, a goofy smile replaced the scowl on his now chuckling face. His sudden change in demeanor caught both of the brothers off guard, as they barely had time to escape the bone crushing bear hug he gave them.
"Aw, any guy who's a friend of my brother is okay in my book!" he exclaimed happily as he let them go. "Come right in!" He stood off to the side and motioned them to come inside. Wakko slyly arched his eyebrows at Yakko who returned with a confused blank stare.
"Maybe I should let you become the wise cracking talker more often, I think I'm losing my touch" said Yakko.
The small restaurant was empty except for Giovanni, who was sitting at a table by himself. Several plates of food overcrowded the entire table while he multi tasked reading sheet music and munching on a slab of steak on fork in his right hand.
"Largo al factotum della città Largo…" he sang with clear tenor voice before taking another bite. The next line was unintelligible as his mouth was full. He picked up a glass of water from the table and immediately noticed the distorted image of Wakko's smiling face in the glass.
"Watcha reading?" Wakko asked startling Giovanni. A spray of water from Giovanni's mouth came afterwards in which Wakko successfully dodged.
"Slappy Squirrel would be proud. He knows how to do a spit take." Yakko commented, jutting his thumb at the singer.
"What the…?! Who are you?" Giovanni sputtered, his voice was surprisingly harsh. Yakko and Wakko jumped on the table.
"Wer'e the Warner brothers!" both cheered. Their smiles disappeared for a moment.
"Feels naked without Dot here" Wakko commented.
"Easy for you to say, you don't wear pants" Yakko responded. Giovanni did not seem impressed.
"Oh yeah, your two of those three little Mickey Mouse rejects from earlier. What do you want?" Giovanni sneered as he busily glanced at his sheet music. Both Yakko and Wakko just looked at each other with a brief scowl on their faces.
"I like this guy, don't you?" Wakko shook his head at his older brother's question.
"Well we wanted to ask a few questions about a big celebrity like you" he explained with a cheerful smile, hiding his offense at Giovanni's not so nice complement.
"Of course you do, Sure, go on" Giovanni responded smugly as he reclined into his chair with his feet propped on the table. "What do you wish to ask me?"
"How was being opera singer working out for you?" Wakko asked. Giovanni, who seemed pleased to answer, began to open his mouth.
"Do you know our sister is a fan of you?" Yakko interrupted, cutting him off.
"What was it like hitting the big time?" Wakko interrupted again. At this point, Giovanni barely had time to speak as Yakko and Wakko continued to rapidly alternate in asking questions.
"Are you aware that most of your fan base consists of rabid young girls?"
"How are you really able to hold those long notes? Is breath control or is just gas?" Giovanni's smile began to disappear at this point.
"What was it like going head to head with Bugs Bunny?" The singer's faltering smile was turning into a full on glare.
"Did you know that comb over is really what's left of your hair running away from your head?"
"Does the head chef know you raided the kitchen?" Giovanni was completely furious now.
"Are you going to eat that?" Wakko asked pointing at the steak. When Giovanni turned towards his steak, Wakko gulped down his sheet music when he wasn't pay attention.
"Hey! That sheet music contained half the songs I needed to sing tonight!" he growled in frustration.
"Does that mean you'll have to cut the show in half? All right!" Yakko cheered.
"You two got some nerve! Where do you two get off talking to me like that?" Giovanni complained as he got up from his chair.
"Normally wed get off at the corner Warner Boulevard and Hollywood Way, Everyone's fair game at that point." Yakko joked before Giovanni grabbed him by the ears.
"Don't you realize you are insulting the great Giovanni Jones?!" the singer responded offended, putting a prideful emphasis on his name.
"No, but do you realize my brother is using you as a napkin?" Yakko answered, pointing down towards his brother. Giovanni looked down to see Wakko had already eaten the rest of the food on the table and had grabbed a hold of the napkin tucked into his shirt, but accidentally started wiping his face into his belly.
"Oops" Wakko uttered, slightly embarrassed of his mistake. Giovanni gasped at the large stain shaped as Wakko's face imprinted on him.
"Oh great! Now I have to change out my cummerbund!" he complained angrily.
"They make them in your size?" Yakko asked jokingly.
"Who, do you think you are?" he seethed through clenched teeth. The Warners could have sworn they saw Giovanni's hair spike up.
"Aw, no fair we were going to ask you that first!" Wakko whined.
"We were hoping you'd say that you're a pompous pudgy blowhard!" Yakko added, reaching out and honking Giovanni's nose.
"Why you..!" he angrily began to rant before pausing briefly to regain his composure. He smoothed his hair back down. "Ah you little pests aren't worth my time, I've got show I still need to get ready for" he explained, still peeved but with none of the fire from earlier.
"So beat it! I still have a G note I need to work on"
"What's a G note?" Wakko asked scratching his cap. Giovanni answered his question with a malicious smile as he took out a megaphone and bellowed out one long note. The force of the amplified note was so strong; it sent both Yakko and Wakko flying across restaurant and out the door. Yakko landed flat on his face while Wakko landed on his bottom.
"Hey, tell Ralph I said hi!" Paul called out behind them, who seemed completely oblivious about what happened inside.
"I don't get it, that's the gentleman Dot's so crazy about?" Wakko asked while rubbing his ears.
"Tell me about it, if he's a gentleman then I'm Princess Jasmine's masseur, who unfortunately I'm not" Yakko answered as he brushed himself off.
"Hey guys! I'm back!" a familiar voice called out to them. It was Dot running towards them, minus the necklaces and stilettos. "Turns out I really didn't need those necklaces, they made me look more desperate than classy"
"Good for you" Wakko muttered grumpily as he rubbed his bottom.
"Did you catch up with Giovanni, did he say anything about me, how does he look up close, did you even get his autograph?" she asked excitedly, grabbing her older brother by the chest.
"Uhh…" Yakko began to speak; as he and his brother realized they had completely forgotten the reason they went to find Giovanni in the first place. Plus he seemed unsure on how to explain to his sister that her idol turned out to be another one of their new "special friends". Dot seemed to figure this out as she let out an exasperated sigh.
"Boys, never count on them to do a girl's job" she complained.
An echoing gong sound roused their attention. All three of the Warners looked up towards a large cuckoo clock above them. Out of it popped a green dodo bird banging a gong twelve times.
"It's twelve o'clock! The show's about to start!" The bird announced before going back in. Several crowd members slowly started to flood inside the lobby.
"Come on you guys; let's go before our seats get taken!" Dot demanded grabbing both of their arms and dragging them out of the lobby.
"Is fan girl-itis permanent Yakko? asked Wakko.
"It better not be, I don't know if I can take another chapter of her swooning" Yakko responded worriedly.
Looks like Yakko and Wakko got a taste of what Giovanni is really like while Dot is still hopelessly star struck. But it's not over yet, because in the next upcoming chapter, it's showtime!