Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
It's taken me a way lot longer to write this than I was planning. I was trying to get it before midnight, but seeing at that gives me 4 minutes, I doubt it'll happen. I want it up, but not badly enough to skip editing it first. So hopefully when you're all reading this, it isn't too far after midnight. Anyway (and more importantly), I want to say thanks to those of you who are reading the story. I was so excited to get those first reviews. It means a lot that you are enjoying the story. I've got a lot more alerts, than there are reviews and I would love to hear what everyone else thinks!
- perfectshadeofdarkblue
Best Definition of Good Intentions
3: We Change, We Wait
Alice watched wistfully as Bella and Angela disappeared in the crowd making their way down the beach. As much as she loved Jasper and wanted to be able to spend the evening with him, she also wanted to never leave her best friend's side. Whenever she and Bella were together, they were guaranteed to have a good time. An evening with Jasper would, of course, be a good time, but a much quieter time. One of the reasons she loved Jasper so much was the fact that they didn't anything else when they were together. They could just sit down and just be together and enjoy themselves. She had first seen Jasper during lunch her first day at Forks. He was a grade above her and Bella and therefore their paths didn't cross as frequently as she would have liked. She was immediately smitten upon seeing him and had asked Bella more about him. All her new friend had to offer was that even though Jasper was part of the cooler crowd in his grade, he didn't seem to get caught up in the typical high school hierarchical standards. Bella explained that he was usually a pretty quiet guy and that he played the guitar. After learning very little information, Alice decided to do everything possible to learn more about him. At first, she very subtly befriended him but due to his quiet demeanor was slow to open up. Although, it didn't take long for Alice to break through his exterior – it never took her long. It was very easy for people to trust Alice; they could sense that she would do no harm and would always be there to help. Just a few months into the school year, Jasper and Alice started dating and became inseparable. Yet at the same time, Bella and Alice were inseparable, which meant that Bella and Jasper spent a fair amount of time together. Bella really enjoyed getting to know Jasper. She had always thought he would be a good friend, but because neither one was the most outgoing, they had remained distant until Alice pushed them together.
As though sensing Alice's nostalgia, Jasper wrapped his arms around her petite waist and leaned down to rest his chin on her shoulder. He tilted his face towards her, placing a kiss and her cheek and whispering in her ear.
"Let's go down the beach." He slid his arms down, grabbing her hand as he led her to a quieter place, closer to the waves. They settled down in the sand, sitting side-by-side, hands interlocked. Alice turned to her loving boyfriend and smiled brightly, causing his eyes to light up. Despite how long they had been together, it always gave him a jolt to know how much Alice truly did love him. He loved the time he spent around her; she brought out an entirely different side to him, one that he hadn't even realized existed. Their opposite personalities contrasted brilliantly, balancing the other as though forming one whole being. Jasper smiled realizing that's exactly what he thought of when spending time with his love; they were two halves of a whole and now that they had each other, they were complete.
Jasper's smile managed to break through Alice's mind that was riddled with thoughts of Bella. She was hoping that a fun night out would help Bella be able to loosen up and not be worried so much when there wasn't much she could do to fix things. She had watched Bella walk off in the opposite direction that she and Jasper had and felt confident that Bella would have a good time with Angela, especially since Mike Newton had already been looking for her.
As Bella and Angela made their way across the rocky shore, they waved and smiled to friends who shouted greetings as they passed. Suddenly, they felt the crowd disappear behind them, leaving them staring into the ocean. Through the darkness they could barely make out of the white tips of the rough waves. They turned around the take in the scene of the bonfire and to find where there friends were. The large crowd they had traveled through was stationed to the right of the largest driftwood bonfire. As Angela's eyes continued to scan the crowd for a familiar face, Bella became lost in the green and blue flames dancing beneath the smoke. No matter how many times she had seen a driftwood fire, she always marveled at the salt's ability to alter the fire's presence. This large fire was the southernmost point of the party; for the next half a mile up the beach, smaller fires danced, illuminating the shadows of people laughing around them. Bella was snapped out of her trance, when she heard a very familiar, and unwelcome, voice call out her name.
"Bella!" Through her high alert of the voice, she noticed it sound different. She heard the rough voice rush her name now, unlike the slow, fondness she was used to hearing.
Bella looked up to see Mike Newton making his way over to her, waving his arms wildly, and stumbling as he stepped on the uneasy rocks. Bella looked over to Angela, whose lips were pursed into a thin line to keep the laughter inside, but at the sight of Bella's incredulous look, Angela was no longer able to restrict herself.
"Oh, sure, laugh all you want, Weber," Bella threatened, addressing her by last name in increase intimidation.
"I'm going to head over to where Jessica and everyone else are," Angela ignored Bella's comment, pointing to one of the closer fires. "You have fun with Mike."
"If we're not there in five minutes, be sure to come find me. Please," Bella pleaded as Angela disappeared into the crowd. Bella turned to face the direction Mike was headed. Due to the worsened state of his awareness, he hadn't made much progress in his journey. Bella smiled tightly, trying her hardest to not portray an ounce of encouragement. After seeing the amount of time it would take Mike to make his way over to her, she decided she should head back towards the crowd.
"Hey, Bella," Mike yelled over the combined din of the crowd and music playing as he threw his arms around Bella. At his sudden shift of equilibrium, he lost his balance and fell into Bella. She had no choice but to awkwardly return the unwanted hug. She grabbed his arms from around her shoulders and pulled him away from her, making sure he was steady on his feet before letting go. She laughed to herself at the sudden role reversal; she never thought she would be the one helping another regain balance.
"Having a good time, Mike?" Bella let a mocking smile take over her face.
"Yea, I am. I'm really glad you decided to come, Bella," Mike said taking in her appearance, his voice becoming somewhat serious, which only made Bella blush in response. She knew every conversation with Mike eventually followed this path, but that never made it any easier for her to deal with. "Come on. I was just going to get another drink; want one?" Mike grabbed her hand, helping her safely maneuver over the uneven terrain. Bella could only look towards him, wondering how he seemed to miraculously sober up at the sight of her.
As soon as they were on safe ground, Bella gently pulled her hand out of Mike's loose grasp. Immediately, she missed the warmth he had brought to her palm, but she knew it would be better if she avoided as much physical contact as possible. She and Mike had been friends since middle school without a hitch. But as soon as they started high school, their relationship changed as they experienced puberty. Bella's body had grown into a more womanly figure as her thin frame developed curves and her shirts became snug through the chest. Mike didn't seem to have been physically affected by puberty much, as his face still held that boyish charm, his blonde hair spiked up at all different angles, but he certainly realized how critical another part of his anatomy was. And it was this that made him react to Bella's changes. After not seeing each other all summer, Mike was shocked by the physical differences he noticed in his former best friend that first day of high school. Then he had seen her around the new student, Alice Cullen. She was alarmingly confident and at ease around her, and Mike choose to believe that this was another change he had missed while being away that summer. Bella, however, knew that it was because it was impossible for her not to be confident and at ease with Alice by her side. That Thursday was the first time Mike asked Bella out. It seemed a normal interaction as he had asked her if she had plans for that weekend and if she would like to grab dinner and maybe catch a movie. She thought it would have been a good chance to catch up since they hadn't seen each other over the summer months. She readily accepted and they made plans for Friday night, since the majority of Saturday would be taken up by their group's beach trip. As they had sat across from each other at a quaint Mexican restaurant in Port Angeles, it finally dawned on Bella what was so different about the evening – the look in Mike's eyes. It was clear that he was regarding her with something she had never seen in his eyes before, and she didn't like. She tried to draw the line several times throughout the evening, concentrating on their friendship, but Mike never seemed to get the hints. It wasn't until after the movie when Mike leaned in to kiss her in the parking lot of the theater that she was forced to spell it out for him. She eloquently explained that she enjoyed his friendship, but she simply just didn't view him as anything else. He had actually taken the news fairly well, muttering something about how he believed she'd come around eventually. Ever since, just about every week, Mike proceeded to ask Bella out again, and she declined every time. After their winter break, the proposals stopped by Mike starting dating Jessica Stanley. Their relationship had lasted only through the summer, and once again Mike started religiously propositioning Bella at the beginning of the school year, yet she still declined. It broke Bella's heart just a little bit every time she had to let him down gently. He had been such a good friend of hers, and she missed the good times they used to have, but now their relationship was riddled with awkwardness and she didn't feel as though she could be herself around him for fear of leading him on. He had always been such a nice guy and she truly felt it was a shame that she didn't have those kinds of feelings for him because she had no doubt he would make a good boyfriend.
Bella continued to follow Mike over to the keg, where he readied himself a beer and looked to her with raised eyebrows. "Want a beer?"
"You know I don't drink, Mike," Bella answered, almost as a question due to her confusion. Aside from being the police chief's daughter and feeling as though drinking would be a betrayal to her father, Bella had never felt the urge to follow the crowd when it came to alcohol. She had never had trouble having a good time when she was sober, and she certainly didn't need the help to be clumsy. She really had just never been all that interested in it. She always found her friends extremely entertaining when they were less inhibited and never judged them for the things they chose to do that she didn't. That didn't stop her from feeling awkward whenever she was the only one that drinking among her group of friends. Bella usually tried to avoid those situations, but hated feeling as though she was missing out on something.
"Just giving you the option to change your mind," Mike replied. He grabbed a water bottle out of a cooler and tossed it to Bella. Bella smiled proudly at the success of her hand-eye coordination, even if it had been from a slightly drunk Mike. "Let's go join the group."
After weaving in and out of the crowd, Mike and Bella made their way over the fire that her friends had made their home base. Sitting on makeshift benches, made from dried logs, were Jessica and Lauren with Lee and Tyler, and Samantha and Conner with Angela and Ben sitting quietly to their side. When Jessica saw Bella approaching, she moved over on the log and patted the seat, inviting Bella to sit by her. Even though it seemed a friendly gesture at face value, Bella saw that by shifting Jessica had brought herself closer to Lee, and he could now drape his arm around her. Opening her jacket, in account of the heat exuding from the close fire, Bella sat down, as Mike took his place next to her. The buzz of the conversation picked up, now that there was a newcomer to the group. They all laughed easily with each other, remembering times from previous outings, and looking forward to the end of school that seemed impossibly close now that the Spring Bonfire was here. Soon the conversation retreated, breaking down to smaller dialogues among pairs and triplets. The boys then began shouting across the fire in their excitement for an upcoming sporting event that was lost on all of the girls. There was an uproar in laughter at a comment Tyler made and after the swell, Jessica took advantage of the calm that settled among the group.
"Let's play Ring of Fire!" she shouted.
There was a round of excited agreement and several of the guys got up to refill the drinks for the groups. The remaining members altered their circle so it was no longer centered around the fire but to its left instead. Lauren pulled a deck of cards out of her bag and handed them over to Jessica as she began to set up. Bella excused herself and moved around the fire to sit with Angela and Ben who had both declined the game.
Ben politely pulled out of his hushed conversation with Angela, looking to meet Bella's gaze, inviting her to sit down with them.
"What are you guys talking about?" Bella wasn't asking to embarrass Angela, although she was answered by a blushing Angela who smiled weakly. It was only then that Bella noticed Ben's and Angela's hands intertwined resting on the log between them. Bella returned an apologetic smile to Angela and mouthed "sorry" to her friend while Ben was staring into the fire.
"Nothing really too interesting," Angela answered Bella's question. "Just this and that."
"I saw your mom the other day, Bella," Ben said, changing the subject.
"Oh, yea? Where was that?" Bella asked curious. In the small town that Forks was, it was normal to see someone, and it didn't usually warrant a comment.
"I was in Seattle with my dad last weekend. Apparently some clients of his are going to be staying at the resort where your mom works when they come into town," Ben explained. "That place is awesome! No wonder you mom loves it so much; I would, too, if I worked there. And all of her co-workers were great. This guy, James, I think was his name; he and your mom took us on a tour of the whole place."
Bella wasn't too sure how to react so she took her time before formulating a response. That was the most she'd ever really hear Ben say and it just seemed as though he was trying to take the heat off the conversation she had just interrupted. She so desperately wanted to move on to a different topic, in fact she wanted to walk away and let Ben and Angela get back to spending time with each other, now that Bella realized there was something between them. But Bella couldn't help letting the curiosity and jealous take over her emotions. She wanted to hear more about Ben's experience with her happy mother, more about her job, more about the resort she'd never visited.
"I've heard nothing but good things about it. Haven't gotten the chance to see it though, so I'm hoping I'll get to one of these days," Bella answered, choosing to share a half-truth.
"Seriously, you wouldn't believe it. Even the employees' apartment was spectacular," excitement was oozing through Ben's every word.
"Employees' apartment?"
"It's this apartment they have set up where employees can stay when they need to be their overnight," Ben answered harmlessly.
"Oh," and with that, Bella drifted back into her quiet, hurt self. She blocked out the sounds of the party as Ben and Angela fell back into their private conversation. After staring in the flames, she stood up, announcing to no one in particular, that she was going to walk down by the shore.
Moving away from the fire, Bella gripped her jacket around her torso tightly as the force of the wind picked up as she moved closer and closer to overwhelming ocean. She walked as far as she could, allowing the tide to bring the water to the toes of her shoes, without getting them wet. Her eyes remained trained on the flow on the water, over the rocks, up the shore, and back down. She watched the rocks disappear under the water and reappear moments later. She could see the smaller rocks shift from the movement, so smooth, from the constant wave of water moving over them. She shifted her sight out further into the unknown waters. She sank down on the dry shoreline as she watched the faraway waves break with their white tips. Bella didn't know how long she had been staring out towards the dark water when she felt someone stand beside her. She turned her head to see the person's shoes, immediately cursing her luck that Mike Newton, of all people, had to be the one to find her.
"We were wondering where you disappeared to, Bella," Mike said, reaching down to grab a smooth pebble. He thrust it out into the waves, losing sight of it after its fourth skip.
At this statement, Bella became suddenly aware of the time. If they had noticed her disappearance that meant their game was over. She had witness that game before and it never lasted less than an hour. She became lost in her thoughts once again as she thought of how she had spent her last hour. In the silence, Mike tossed stone after stone. Bella stood, resolving to shake herself out of the mood she'd allowed herself to fall back into. Mike held out his hand to her, palm up and curiously Bella peered down. Mike raised his arm so she could get a better look at the pebble sitting in the cup of his palm.
"Thanks," Bella said softly as she took the pebble in her own hands, throwing it up in the air a few inches before preparing to toss it out into the ocean. She and Mike laughed together as they watched the stone sink into the depths of the ocean after just the first skip.
"You know, you really look beautiful tonight, Bella," Mike said after their laughter subsided, keeping his eyes towards the almost invisible horizon.
Bella could sense that Mike was working his way up to asking her out again and she braced herself, running through all her reasons for turning him down, wondering which would be the best tonight. But Mike didn't even get the chance to say another word.
"Bella!" a booming voice came from behind them.
She turned around just in time to see Emmett barreling himself the last five feet toward her, scooping her up at the same time as knocking into Mike. Mike shot forward a few feet, landing with a splash.
"Oh! Sorry, man," Emmett apologized, keeping Bella in his arms.
Mike stood up, brushing himself off even though it did nothing to dry his clothes. Finally, he looked up to see that it was Emmett who had knocked him off balance. At the sight of Emmett's muscles and despite the almost freezing temperatures, Mike replied, "No harm. I'm…uh…just going to go to my car to see if I've got any dry clothes. I'll see you later, Bella."
Bella laughed as Mike walked away dejectedly. "Thanks, Emmett. That saves me the trouble of having to turn him down."
"I figured you could use saving. Not to mention, Jasper's about the break out the guitar," Emmett replied, a happy grin spread across his face. He set Bella down safely away from the water's edge and they walked back towards the largest fire together. Bella's spirit was immediately lifted, just in Emmett's mere presence. Not only was he always happy and carefree, but he acted like her brother. The one thing Bella needed then was family.
They were almost half way over the fire when Alice ran towards them, quickly closing the distance.
"Bella! I've missed you!" Alice squealed.
"We've only been apart a few hours, Alice," Bella scolded, even though she had probably missed her best friend more in that short time.
"Doesn't matter," Alice replied, matter-of-factly.
Alice and Bella took their seats around the fire next to Emmett and Rosalie, who Bella couldn't help but notice was giving her a glare. Bella chalked it up to the fact that Emmett had left her side to rescue Bella from the evil clutches of Mike Newton. Bella smiled to herself, remembering the look on Mike's face as he fell into the water. Her smile only grew was she thought about how quickly her mood had shifted as soon as she was around her family. Esme had been right; she would always have part of her family with the Cullen's. The two best friends leaned against one another for the better part of the next hour, listening to Jasper and his friends strum away on their guitars, altering the entire mood of the bonfire.
It was entirely too soon that the two guitarists, aside from Jasper, got up claiming it was time for them to leave. The drummer had long ago up and left. Bella turned her head, shifting her eyes between each of the smaller fires. She saw that most of the fires had been put out, leaving the beach desperate for their blue and green flames. Almost everyone else had left the beach, even though there were still groups of friends in the parking lot, getting ready to get in the cars and call it a night.
"How 'bout one more? I'm not quite ready to stop yet," Jasper said, more for his friends' benefits than his own. He could sense that those who remained didn't want to be forced to end their evening. He waited until he saw the heads nod throughout the small circle, before he adjusted the capo and began strumming. Without needing to hear more than the first chord, everyone sitting around him knew exactly what he was going to play. Just as it was tradition to end the bonfire listening to him play, it was tradition to finish with this song.
"Come and go now as you please, your actions write the melodies to that songs that we sing, and you still sing; and I finally found that life goes on without you, and my world still turns when you're not around" Jasper sang the opening to Anberlin's "Naive Orleans." He strummed the chords in between verses, locking eyes with Bella, inviting her to sing with him like she usually would. Even though Jasper was generally shy, he felt oddly comfortable with a guitar in his hand and had no qualms about performing. But he had learned this song for Bella, had learned it with Bella singing along, and it just didn't feel right without her. Usually she would have joined in the singing long before now, but she'd remained quiet by Alice's side thus far. As beautiful as the music had sounded all night coming from the guitar, to him, it was nothing compared to what it sounded like when Bella joined them, singing. Jasper hoped desperately that she would join in. He was playing the song specifically for her. He knew it was her favorite and he hoped it would help cheer her up like she so desperately needed.
Bella smiled in response, leaving her place next to Alice to sit beside Jasper. As he started the next verse, she sang out with him. "Is this the way you want it? Is this the way it has to be? Sitting here beside you, when my heart's lost in New Orleans. Dreams come clever, hearts now severed, difference of forever and I am lost there. I finally found that life goes on without you and my world still turns when you're not around. And I finally found that life goes on without you and my world still turns when you're not around. And I finally found that all your actions write the melodies to the songs that we sing, your actions write the melodies to the songs that we sing and you still sing. Come and go now as you please, your actions write the melodies to the songs that we sing, and you still sing."
They continued the song for the next few minutes, until its end. Even though the song had such a heartbreaking feel, Bella couldn't help but call it one of her favorites. Just imaging not being able to go on after someone leaves your life, only to find out you're still in one piece, living and breathing, just the same as always, Bella thought the song held such strength in its words. She took solace in those words now that no matter what happened, she'd survive.