Title: Lillah's Story: Chapter 8
Author: Fianna
CHAPTER 8:
"Lillah! You are bleeding!" Elrohir exclaimed as he rode up to the group with Elladan.
Lillah looked down at her chest, frozen yet in place as Legolas crouched quickly beside the fallen Haldir. Her chest was bloody, but she shook her head, pointing a shaking finger toward Haldir.
Elladan sank next to Legolas to bend over Haldir.
The March Warden groaned and pushed away the two elves attempting to ascertain the warden's obvious injury. "I am fine, leave me be."
Elrohir snorted, joining his brother and Legolas, and with a glance between them, forcibly held the elf to the ground to search for the wound he had received. Lillah watched them from a few feet away, her fingers pressed against her lips to smother any sound of her fear. She could not bear the idea of Haldir being lost; it was too soon, and he had become too close to her heart.
A near silent battle ensued between the twins, the Mirkwood and Lorién elf until Haldir had to relinquish his fight, exhausted and chided sternly by Elrohir. "Your brothers will strangle us all to hear you are injured for one, and two should you die from foolish pride after recovering from Helm's Deep."
Lillah found their concern endearing.
Elladan suggested the tunic had to come off.
Lillah found she couldn't breathe.
Haldir found three elves quite willing to disrobe him without a thought the elleth suddenly watching avidly.
The tunic came off in a slightly rough manner to leave Haldir gasping on the ground, but not so much in pain as in laughter.
Lillah stood riveted to the spot where she stood, her eyes undoubtedly wide, her heart hammering in her chest. Haldir sat up with the help of Elrohir's shoulder, grunting as Elladan probed the gash across the right side of Haldir's ribs. His hair was thrown forward, partially masking a well-muscled chest and shoulder, and as he twisted to avoid a particularly sharp jab of Elladan's fingers, gave her a moment to see the faint scar that ran over his shoulder and along his spine.
She found the four elves looking at her curiously a moment later as she backed up a step, hand to her throat.
How could he have healed from such a blow? The immensity of the injury shocked her and to see him alive in front of her seemed simply unfeasible.
Legolas rose swiftly to his feet, catching her as she stumbled back another step.
"Lillah?"
She couldn't speak, couldn't explain the feelings clogging her throat, the dismay and horror of what must have happened. She fought off Legolas's attempt to soothe her, unable to think past the images suddenly flooding her brain.
Orcs - orcs that had hurt Haldir, orcs that had hounded them, orcs that had nearly killed Rinethel – it all shuttered through her mind, image after image until she could only gasp for breath, blinded by pain.
A voice broke through her chaotic thoughts, fingers gripped her arms painfully until she blinked, focusing blearily on the elf holding her so tightly.
Haldir, his eyes glittering sharply, he held her against his chest after what she realized had been a rough shaking to break her from the fear and horror. Haldir, still undressed, his expression one of infinite patience now, and weariness.
"Come back," he commanded her. "Put it away."
Lillah pressed her hands against his chest. "How could you bear it?" she whispered.
She saw him grind his teeth, jaw hard as he stared at her. "I wanted to live, Lillah."
She shuddered, but pushed him back when he would have pulled her closer. "To have such a scar, even with elven healing… I cannot imagine…"
She felt him shudder as well, the tremor running from shoulder to hip, his fingers nearly unbearable as he held her shoulders. But then she saw the strength of will from an elf willing to give his life for his people. Haldir sucked in a deep breath and then relaxed his fingers, if not to release her. He held her gently and lowered his forehead to hers as he had done twice before. "You do not have to imagine nor think of it. It is done and in the past. I am here now, Lillah, and I am not going anywhere but back to Minas Tirith with you, fully alive and well."
"Well, almost," Elrohir added, appearing at Haldir's elbow. He slid an arm around Lillah, reminding her that Haldir was indeed, injured.
Haldir stepped back only to find Elladan also at his side. The ranger pushed Haldir to sit near a fire they had built. The March Warden leaned over his knees as Elladan began to wrap his ribs with lengths of cloth they had ripped from one of the cloaks.
Elrohir kissed Lillah's cold cheek. "He is weary from the healing he has given. The wound is a simple one, bloody yes, but not something to be concerned about. Now his temper…" Elrohir grinned. "It is a good thing you are here to temper his temper, elleth, for otherwise our attempts to hold him down would have been met with far worse."
The elf laughed and led Lillah to the fire to sit.
**
Haldir sucked in a deep breath to find his ribs ached only slightly. He lay on his back near the fire Elladan had built, one to keep the wargs at bay as they still prowled too close for comfort, and secondly to ease the terror they could all see in Lillah's eyes.
He had hoped the nightmares had ceased for her.
It was his fault they had returned with a vengeance. Had she not seen the scarring from the orc's blade, perhaps had he not come at all, she might be free of the terrors of her memories.
He scolded himself for being selfish - for wanting to be near her, to protect her when all he had done was bring her more pain.
The thought was painful in itself.
He threw an arm over his eyes with a muttered curse, a knee bent to ease the ache in his ribs. The warg's howls echoed distantly, a chill reminder they were not yet safe. He had lost sight of what was important, what had been their mission. Return with Rinethel, only that, nothing more. Galadriel would expect him to journey home soon after returning the ranger to Minis Tirith to recover, hopefully in the hands of the competent Anna. He would suggest his placement to Aragorn, knowing the woman would, if anything, bully Rin to a quick cure.
The thought brought a brief smile to Haldir's lips, but it was quickly replaced with reproach as he remembered watching Lillah there. He sat up abruptly, dragging a hand through hair that had come loose from its normal braids, hanging in disarray over his face.
His tunic was still gone, drying after Lillah had insisted she wash it, if only to avoid them all. Her embarrassment at her reaction to his injury had clearly been acute. It did not seem to matter that they had understood her horror all too well. It was not her fault she was just now seeing the results.
That she found the scars horrific unsettled him. He had not considered how an elleth might react. He could not see how bad they looked. He was not vain, but still modest enough to admit that such things were probably distasteful. He sighed, muffling a groan and pressed his fingers hard into his temple to ease the throb that wrapped his head like a vice.
A soft touch brushed against his fingers, pulling them free of his face. Lillah knelt in front of him.
"I have said not to pity me," he muttered harshly, meaning to rise, but she pressed a hand onto his shoulder to hold him still.
"I do not pity you, Haldir. I ache for the pain you must have felt, both emotionally and physically."
He pulled her hand free of his shoulder. He did not need her, refused to accept he needed her concern. It had been difficult enough to bear, hearing her speak of it only made it worse.
She smiled and placed her hands firmly on his arm, as if to hold him to her. "We are quite a pair, are we not? Both hurting, both facing such horrors alone."
He looked at her without answering.
"You do not have to be alone."
"I am not. I have had many offer concern," he said stiffly.
She looked down at her hands and to his surprise, moved closer. Her voice when she spoke was a whisper, one that forced him to lean closer to hear her. "Brothers can love you, Haldir, but they are not with you in the darkest of nights when the terrors come to haunt you. They will not hold you to remind you that there is still life to be lived."
Haldir blinked and lifted his gaze to hers. "I need…"
"I know, you don't need anyone," Lillah replied. She tightened her hands on his arm and then lifted one to gently lift the hair from his shoulder. She shifted, pulling the long strands to the opposite side of his body, leaving his back free.
He stiffened as her fingers gently traced the lines left by the orc's blade.
"You believe I find this distasteful, but I do not. I was simply overwhelmed to see it, to know how very deep that blade had gone to leave any scar at all. To think you nearly died and I would have never met you."
He shuddered as she kissed his shoulder.
"And thinking that brought back images of my horror, ones that, thanks to you, had been pushed away, and then I thought of Rin nearly being killed," she finished softly. "But what you do not know is that it made me realize how tenuous our life is, even immortal as we are."
She brushed her fingers over his lips when he would have spoken. "And most of all, Haldir of Lorién, I find you extremely tantalizing undressed and any elleth in her right mind would have been disarmed by that alone."
He lifted a brow as she kissed him briefly on the mouth and then rose to her feet. She gathered her cloak and wrapped it around her shoulders. "I must speak to my brother, who did as I asked and left me alone with you." She laughed softly, lifting a shaking hand for him to see. "My hands tremble, March Warden. Do you affect all women so?" She turned away, fading into the darkness leaving him speechless.
**
Lillah found Rin sitting with Legolas several paces from the fire, hidden nearly in the shadows of a large pine tree. He sat braced against a rock, his leg wrapped securely with bindings. He held out a hand when she approached, his expression worried.
"Are you all right?"
Lillah nodded and then smiled at Legolas, who as usual sat silently watching her intently. "I am fine, really. I am sorry to have been such a …" she shivered and sank down next to Legolas on the rock. "I am worried about Haldir."
Legolas shifted to look back at the fire. "You must trust that he will be fine, a set back in mind only, for he worries about you, and how he is affecting you." The prince smiled mischievously. "And has for some time, Lillah."
She shook her head in denial. "I fear he holds himself too distant. He clearly cares for you and accepts you care for him, yet he seems unwilling to allow anyone closer."
Rinethel folded his arms over his chest, staring at her sharply. "Do you want closer?"
Lillah gave her brother a rueful smile. "And if I do?"
Rin grinned. "I will thank the Valar that an elf has done what a mortal could not - bring you back to me and our kin. For that, alone, I would crawl to protect that elf from harm."
Legolas patted Rinethel's shoulder. "Not necessary, I assure you. The March Warden is well able to take care of himself, stubborn elf that he is. But there are some things only a female can do." He turned toward Lillah. "Breaching his control will not be an easy task. He will fight both you and his feelings, on one hand wanting you clearly, and on the other, faced with what he deems is his duty."
"Damn his duty," Lillah declared sharply. "What do I have to do? Lock him in a room with me?"
Rinethel smothered a laugh, while Legolas lifted a slim brow. "Not a bad idea, but the repercussions might be difficult to handle. Are you strong enough to deal with his anger?" Legolas chuckled. "The March Warden's anger is legendary."
Lillah sniffed, her mind bent on how to lure the March Warden to her bedroom.
**
Elrohir watched the byplay between Haldir and Lillah grow and then suddenly stop. She left him alone, clearly confused, on the remaining ride back to Minus Tirith, which thankfully, went without incident.
Arriving in Minas Tirith kept them all busy, greeted at the lowest gate by Aragorn himself who lifted Lillah from her horse with gentle hands. When she would have bowed before him he shook his head and kissed the top of her head.
"How do you fare, Lillah?" Aragorn asked.
"I am well, thank you." She glanced at the elves also dismounting, at Rinethel still strapped to the litter where he argued with both Elladan and Elrohir. "We have found him, injured but alive, and for that I am very well."
Aragorn nodded sagely. "Indeed. But he is still wounded."
"I believe Anna can cure him with only a glare," Haldir suggested, moving past them with a faint twinkle in his eye.
Aragorn laughed. "True, Haldir, I will make sure she cares for him. She will enjoy that."
Lillah saw Haldir shiver faintly before he disappeared among the other Lorién wardens.
**
Haldir knew his friends cared for him. He knew their concern over his past healing was often on their minds, and also knew it was why they all smiled whenever Lillah was near by. They assumed her presence would offer him comfort, which he had to admit it had, but it had also reminded him of that pain as well.
How could one heal the emotional scars left by such a trial, to push them so far away as to forget them? He had hoped that the nightmares would fade with time, but as the days passed and the dreams lingered, he grew doubtful he would ever be free of them. Added to that was the pain he could feel from Lillah and the sounds of battle would once more rage in his head, the horror of seeing his elves die beside him, to feel the sharp bite of a blade he had not seen coming.
He had pushed her too far, had allowed her to journey with them when the terrors of her own ordeal was too fresh. And because of it, she had pushed him away, in a way he could not yet understand.
Their return to Minas Tirith had been uneventful from the harrowing ride through the fog, uneventful from the aspect of attack from orcs, but thick with an undercurrent of something he could not quite place. Lillah had kissed him, had touched the scars inside and out, and then had retreated from him, both physically and emotionally.
Had she regretted her actions?
The others seemed just as confused at her distance. Haldir sighed, and remanded that to the twins and his own wardens. Rinethel seemed oblivious and Legolas, well, the young ellon was far too quiet. That meant something was up.
Haldir did not know Legolas well enough to judge his silence. Had it been Orophin or Rumil, he would have been wary of some trick, yet with the prince of Mirkwood, he could not say. Legolas had become an enjoyable companion, yet as a younger elf, was still testing the waters as to what he could do with Haldir.
His teasing had been subtle and tentative.
Yet tease he did, if not as boldly as the twins did. His wardens only looked on in amusement, their respect for Haldir undiminished by the jovial laughter at his expense. He could deal with that. What he could not deal with was the unsettling feeling something had gone wrong between him and Lillah.
It took him a moment to realize how much that disturbed him. No, to be honest with himself, how much it hurt to think she had pushed him away.
The emotion made him irritable, a fact that was evident in the way his elves suddenly disappeared from around him.
Haldir sighed.
**
"You have confused him, sister," Rinethel declared from his bed, sitting against a bank of pillows tucked behind his back. A tray sat on his lap, the food untouched as he stared at Lillah in concern. "Is this what you want? You may lose him."
Lillah smoothed the silk of her skirts over her knees in an effort to hide the sudden tremble at the mention of Haldir. She had thought long and hard on how to approach the affair between them, and had decided that hard to get was more apt to draw him closer. An elf like that needed a challenge.
Her plans were only just beginning, had Rinethel only known. She smiled at her brother when he cleared his throat. "I know what I am doing."
He arched a brow, scratching at the bare skin of his chest, one that the women tending him gaped at when they brought him his dinner. Rinethel had only smiled at them in amusement, his dark hair draped over one eye to mask the twinkle in his eyes. Lillah had nearly laughed, and then reprimanded herself, for she had done much the same when looking at Haldir.
It was not fair for the ellons to be so evocative.
Rinethel sighed and picked up a piece of bread, staring at it in distaste. "I do not wish to make them feel bad, but their food leaves much to be desired."
Lillah smiled at her brother. Healing well, but weary , Anna had not allowed him from his bed for two days, and declared if she saw him out of it, would remove his clothes -- hence the bare chest and more beneath the blankets tucked carefully around his waist. What Lillah did not know was whether the woman had taken her brother's clothes while the ellon was awake or sleeping. He was not telling.
"I have things well enough in hand," she finally stated, smoothing a few strands of her hair over her shoulder. "I believe I'll be seeing the March Warden very soon."
Rinethel munched listlessly on his bread. "Indeed? And how is that?"
"I have had Elrohir and Elladan hide his horse."
Rinethel choked on the bread. "What? He must leave for Lorién soon. Would you anger the Lady of the Wood by not allowing his return?"
Lillah grinned at her brother, the only sign of her disquiet was the grip on the strands of her hair. "Nay, the twins say she will not be angry. She is their grandmother after all."
The elf snorted, shoving away the food on his lap. "And why would this bring him to you, then?"
Lillah giggled and then nearly choked herself at the sound of a door slamming.
**
Haldir strode purposely through the healing house, ignoring the stares of surprise, the greetings that left the people in his wake watching him with lifted brows. He ducked around a woman carrying linens, sending her whirling in consternation, passed another bearing a tray of food that was nearly upset by the woman's startled surprise, and then he saw Lillah at the end of the hall, visible from where she sat beside a smiling Rinethel.
He nearly made it to the door when Anna stepped into his way. He stopped abruptly, and then even stepped back when she glared at him.
"Where do you think you are going?"
Haldir lifted his chin, sending her a look that would have quailed most of his wardens. "I have business with Lillah."
Anna was unaffected by his manner. "Then you should wait until she is outside the healing house. I will not allow you to upset her when she is with her brother."
"Who said I was going to upset her," Haldir demanded through gritted teeth.
Anna arched a brow that would have made Galadriel's expression look wimpy.
Haldir tried another tact, aware that Lillah was laughing, her face covered by her hands. Rinethel's fingers covered his lips. "I wish only to see how Rinethel is doing?"
The woman had the audacity to snort, folding her arms over her chest. "Not working."
Haldir stared at Anna intently. "It is a matter of importance. The Lady of the Wood would not be pleased."
Anna shrugged.
"When then, my lady, may I see Rinethel?"
Anna smiled up at him. "Whenever you like, when Lillah is not there."
**
TBC