Chapter 3
Seriously, it's the reviews that keep me wanting to continue this story. Keep them coming, and so will the chapters. Thank you, noro, evermoregleek, i-live-in-district-12 :) Hope to see you reviewing each and every chapter! Looking forward! And yes, a Finn chapter, for those who asked. I've got a few ideas for this and how it's going to end. Maybe leave you off on a few cliff-hangers in the following chapters, just to make you all hold yours breaths ;) Happy reading!
The one thing he did when something upset him was make a video of something, and then play around with it on his laptop. It's been two weeks, and he's been working on the same video. It was a simple walk around the block, nothing major, but apparently, there was a lot of things he could do with the special effects. Apparently.
It was nearly four in the morning, and he couldn't sleep. That wasn't a surprise, considering he hadn't been able to sleep for a long time. His continuous train of thoughts were keeping him awake.
How could this happen?
Where did he go wrong?
Why hadn't she given him time to say what he wanted to say?
When would she learn to love herself like he loved her?
None of his questions could be answered. She wasn't answering her phone or his texts. He'd even tried to see her on set, but he got kicked off. They said that if his name was Finn Hudson, then he wasn't authorized. Why was she so intent on keeping him in the dark? It wasn't fair.
They had never argued. He never disagreed with her, and she never disagreed with him. They respected each other. Were honest with each other. Nothing went wrong. She would tell him if something was bothering her. Every single damn time. So what the fuck happened here?
He hadn't smothered her. He knew he hadn't. Whenever he asked if she was happy, she replied with a prominent "yes", and he knew she wasn't lying. She was always a terrible liar.
He played the ten-minute video again, and just sat in silence while staring at his laptop screen. There was no phone call from any producer talking to him about his short film. That hope went down the drain as well. He was back to being a nothing. It was probably why she'd really left him. Because he was a nothing. She was a star with all the talent – the acting, the dancing, and even the singing.
All he had now was his camera. And what confidence she'd manage to build up for him was now torn down. He didn't want anything. He didn't even care that his stupid film wasn't good enough.
He couldn't watch it anymore. If he did, he thought he would go crazy. There had to be a more entertaining video on his laptop that he could –
Rachel Mornings.
That's what one little file at the bottom was labeled. He remembered that morning. It was quite possibly one of his most favorite mornings in his entire life. Finn had woken up to the sound of piano playing, and when he stood in the doorway of the bedroom, he saw Rachel sitting at the kitchen table with a keyboard, playing a ridiculous tune she'd made up.
It was the day he found out she could play the piano and sing. She had a beautiful voice, too. One that could make the angels pale in comparison. It was when he pulled out his camera, and knew he wouldn't regret filming her.
"Finn, come on! Turn that thing off! I refuse to do this if you're filming me!" she laughed, one of his most favorite sounds to hear.
"It's off! I swear!"
"You big fat liar." But she turned and grinned at him. "Lucky for you, I happen to really like you, so I'll do this for you. Just this once."
He grinned right back at her and held the camera steady. "Thank you, dearest."
And she started playing "Chasing Cars" by Snow Patrol, her voice beautifully completing the piano accompaniment. He filmed as he fingers flew across every key, and also filmed the emotion on her face as she sang. She meant every single word of it, that much was obvious. And he knew who she was singing it for.
Once she finished, she turned to look at the camera with tear-filled eyes but a huge smile on her face. "I'm in love with you."
Silence followed those words, and then the camera was put down on the table, and he took her in his arms, holding her tightly against him. While his back was towards the camera, her enormous grin was facing the camera, and she closed her eyes tightly as she hugged him right back.
She couldn't remember the last time she was this happy. But she loved it. She loved feeling like this. It was like…a constant adrenaline rush. It felt amazing.
"I can't believe I caught that on camera!" he exclaimed, then kissed her soundly. She only giggled in return. "And where the hell did you get this thing? Weren't you supposed to be asleep next to me last night?"
"I found it this morning, silly. You have nothing in your fridge, so I was going to get us some breakfast. The guy at the café rhetorically asked me if I wanted a keyboard, and I surprised him by saying I'll take it. For free," she said, emphasizing the last word. Clearly, she was proud of herself.
He gave her a teasing look. "Wow. I should get you to get me breakfast more often. Maybe you'll find me a newer version of my EX3. For. Free."
"Oh, ha. Ha." But she couldn't wipe that smile off her face. "Make fun all you want. I know you're secretly happy that now I can sing you awake every morning."
"Oh, sweetheart. You don't need to sing me awake every morning. I'm awake…even before I'm awake," he said with a wink. "You know Finn Junior can never wait for the rest of me to actually want to wake up."
"That's because Finn Junior knows who takes good care of him," she replied with a smirk.
"You know…speaking of Finn Junior…" He returned that smirk, and lifted her up onto the island counter, and blindly reached to turn off the camera.
Biting his lip, and hating himself for the tears that were trailing down his face, he pressed the replay button. She was so beautiful. So amazing. He remembered that morning like it just happened. He remembered her voice when she sang that song for him, and the way her fingers flew across the keys.
He even remembered how amazing the sex had been right after that. They'd gone two rounds before realizing they needed showers to clean up for the day, and ended up having another mind-blowing round there, too.
She had been right. Sex was addicting. And it seemed even more addicting when the person he was having sex with was the person he loved. It wasn't even sex. It was…something wonderful. Beautiful. Amazing. It was special, for both him and for her. She'd told him that for the first time, she was doing it with someone she cared a lot about, and that was why it was special.
That night, he promised her that he would never break up with her. He said that fate brought them together for a reason, and he was more than happy to let fate do its thing. He was happy with her, happier than he thought could ever be possible for him.
She'd promised him the same thing.
It was clear that they both confirmed wanting to spend the rest of their lives together.
He'd never made her choose between her job and him. He said that if she wanted to choose, that was fine with him, but he wouldn't make her. He just wanted her happy.
He didn't think she would choose her job.
And that thought killed him. She may as well have literally ripped his heart out from his chest, and stomped all over it. Or cut it into little tiny pieces. Made no difference. He felt like shit, either way.
He loved her right. This couldn't have been his fault. She said it wasn't. That it was her. She wasn't good enough for him. What the hell did that even mean?
She'd ask him if it bothered him, what she was doing, and he'd answer the same exact thing every single time. No. Really, what else could he say? He wanted her to be happy. If her job made her happy, then who was he to take that away from her? He wasn't jealous. He knew that any sex she had for her films meant nothing to her. She did it, then got paid. She said she even faked it multiple times because it was all so meaningless.
How could he be upset with her about it? He loved her.
And now he felt empty without her. What was the point of his life now? What had he even been doing before he met her? He was a nobody. Just another human being breathing Los Angeles air. Messing around with some stupid videos he made to pass the time. He had absolutely nothing to live for.
He'd found that one thing he'd been searching for his entire life and began to live and breathe his every moment for her. And then she left him. She stepped out of his life just as suddenly as she walked in.
He didn't want to live anymore. It hurt too much.
But he knew that not living would mean there would be absolutely no chance at redemption. He knew she was hurting, too. And if she'd find out that he was gone, she would be completely destroyed. He knew she had not wanted to do it. She felt like she had to.
All because she didn't love herself the way that he loved her.
Rachel, please, just let me know you're okay. You don't need to call me. Even a blank text would be fine. I just…want to know you're okay. Please. I love you.
No, damn it!
He'd hit send before he realized what he wrote to her. Explaining to her his mistake would only make things worse.
He did love her. It hadn't been a mistake. And it never was.
Disclaimer: I WISH I owned "Chasing Cars", but it belongs to the wonderful band Snow Patrol.