A/N: I'm sorry for the late (?) update! Or, at least, it's the latest yet anyway. So enjoy! 

--

Kanda couldn't believe the words that came out of this "Melissa" woman's mouth. New additions to the fucking staff? Holy shit on a fucking cross, Komui was so going to get it. Without laying a finger on Mugen, the samurai began radiating an evil aura, turning the entire lobby an ominous black and killing several potted plants, as well as causing a chandelier to fall from the ceiling and spontaneously combust. Good job, Yuu Kanda, the last part was a nice touch.

Allen glanced fearfully at his traveling companion, hissing, "You can graffiti on the walls of our room and I won't tell! Or make something explode! Err, again! Just keep your cool…" At those words, Kanda "che'd" angrily.

"What are our jobs?" he asked flipping his hair back. Damn, these guys are gonna be pissed off, Melissa thought with zeal, running her tongue over her teeth and sneering. They were even lower on the Hotel totem poll than her!

"I am dreadfully, dreadfully sorry, but I can't disclose that information here. And, look! More vacationers." Melissa turned away, pretending to study her nails, really looking at the Japanese man's reaction. Finally, another underdog to toy with… To her dismay, there was none.

"Where can we find the head of this lodge?" Kanda was positively venomous, and his trademarked murderer's glare proved it. Allen didn't know whether he should laugh, feel scared, find some chocolate to eat, or tell his friend to calm down. Mmm, chocolate, he reflected wistfully, drifting off.

"Y-you can go to the back rooms where you'll see an office marked "'Manager.' Go there! Now! Can't you tell I've got people to service?" Melissa gulped, wishing she could conjure some customers out of thin air, seeing as the entire area was vacant. Kanda, grabbing Allen, who had begun salivating madly, and left.

The two found the office with ease, and then knocked on the door. There was no reply. "Maybe," said Allen nervously, "he's not there?" Suddenly, there was a loud slam, the staccato clicking of stiletto heels, and the entrance violently swung open.

"What can I do fer ya?" Scarlet Hale, in the flesh, stood imperiously before them, transparent blouse open two buttons too far, revealing ample cleavage. She blinked once. Again. And spiraled into a fit of giggles. "I never thought I'd see you guys again!" By "you guys" she meant "Kanda."

Allen felt a twinge in his heat. What? It was similar to panic, except it was also accompanied by a feeling of urgency, and possessiveness. The white-haired youth furrowed his brow, pondering these new emotions. "We'd like to find out our jobs, please." The iciness in his tone alarmed Scarlet, and actually surprised Kanda; Heh, Moyashi's growin' up.

"Ohmygosh, like, no way! You guys are the new employeez?" The busty woman had regained her pomp and reverted to her valley-girl roots. Allen and Kanda entered the dingy room.

"And you're the manager?" Kanda asked incredulously.

"Not exactly, ya see. Daddy, the manager, got sick and bailed fer a month, and he said he'd gimme a real nice present if I'd sit in while he's gone. I was traveling when he called, and the whole cruise was pretty much all set up to get me." Scarlet sighed, rolling heavily mascara-coated eye, "The old geezer wants to make money so he can grow some hair back. Fuck, the bastard won't even lemme use his office! But this is so awesome, having buddies here."

Allen blinked. She'd been chatting for nearly ten minutes now by herself. He coughed politely, seeming to have gotten over his anxiety. Scarlet got the message and clicked wildly on an expensive Apple computer that completely upstaged the room, and cackled, tears running down her cheeks. Thank the Lord for waterproof make-up… for sparing us visual abominations… and having George W. Bush as president another four years…

"'Kay, so's I don't forget! Later go up a floor to the help desk and get your work supplies," Scarlet shook her finger patronizingly, "Allen, yer a maid. Got a uniform ready and everythin', and if ya don't wear it, I'll fire ya." She guffawed at the shocked expression on the white-haired boy's face. "And I shall presume… you are Yuu?" She snorted, "Yer a waiter, hot stuff. Heh, this hotel's restaurant's gonna be tough. Can Yuu handle it?"

Kanda twitched, activating his demon glare. "Of course I can. And call me Kanda." Scarlet smirked, her impossibly glossy lips radiating harmful UV rays in a relatively lightless parameter.

"And why in the world should I do that, Yuu-pie?"

The long-haired teen growled, "I barely even know you, much less want to. It's a culture thing. So just call me Kanda."

Scarlet's face seemed to sag and her fake nails clicked noisily on the faux wood desk. "How…HOW DARE YOU FREAKING TALK BACK TO YER MANAGER! I CAN'T BELIEVE YER ATTITUDE, YOU DICKWAD! YOU work fer ME! Yeah, ya don't know me! SO GET TO KNOW ME, GOT IT, ASSWIPE?" Scarlet was standing now, tottering on her towering shoes and panting to boot. "… Next time ya show any sass around me, yer fired. Now get the hell out." As Kanda (poker-face mode: activated; freaked out to the extreme? Yes) and Allen stumbled out, Scarlet called, "But, Yuu, the bedroom's an exception!!"

"That was… new." Allen felt the need to break the ice-berg of awkwardness that had formed around the two males. Poor Kanda. That's one psycho bitch lusting for him.

"I-I have n-no idea w-w-what you're t-talking about," stuttered Kanda, shivering. Allen blushed; seeing the older exorcist get so flustered was pretty darn cute. So, he linked his arm with Kanda's and steered him to the next floor. The Japanese teen didn't jerk away. The atmosphere became peaceful and uninterrupted ascending the stairs as a gentle silence was established. Ten minutes later:

"I AM NOT WEARING A SKIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRT!!"

Allen was screaming at the top of his lungs, threatening to run away if not for a set of muscled arms (guess who?) holding him down. They'd made it to the help desk and into a utility closet with an aid only to discover that there was something horribly, horribly wrong with the work uniforms.

"I'm sorry!" cried the aid, blushing despite attempts not to, "There were only female uniforms available, and maids are usually female anyway, you know!" He instantly shut up as Kanda glared at him, still holding a crazed Allen in lockdown.

"There has to be an alternative." As Kanda glanced at the maid ensemble, which really wasn't a skirt but a one-piece dress that had a ribbon around the waist as to only look like a skirt (how deceiving!), he began to see… let us call them "images" he'd rather not be experiencing. Some concerning a certain Moyashi. "Craaap!" he swore, quickly slicing the dress in half. Inwardly, the aid sobbed. He was never gonna get laid.

"Phew, it's gone." Allen once more was rejuvenated. Damn that woman, he thought, she's after my pride and Kanda as well! However, said aid was not in such a fantastic mood. He grumbled to himself, a constant stream of: something-something-something-laid-something-something-nachos.

"Here! Jeez, way to ruin a moment," the aid muttered, "here's something I found from last year's shipment of maid attire. YOU'RE waiter uniform is on the rack. Figure out what you need, I'm freaking off." Kanda raised his eyebrows. These Americans at Hershey Park sure were temperamental! They'd never last a month alone in the Alps battling Akuma…

Kanda reminisced offhandedly at his past missions, and realized how absurd the present one was. Relieved to see his waiters' uniform was relatively normal, although made of a scratchy material, he turned around to face Allen. "What's wrong?" he immediately asked.

"BLOODY EVERTHING!" cried the white-haired boy, "look at these shorts!"

Kanda's eyes surveyed tight, black, frilly spandex shorts. And got a nosebleed.

--

A/N: Yes! Done! But I must add that I, La Lune de Fraise, has never been to Hershey Park, thus everything I am writing is based off some insane hotel that is 99.999839 percent most likely not similar to the real location Kanda and Allen are supposed to be in. XP