Urgh. The woes of a family vacation… BUT I'M BACK Y'ALL! :)
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"I cannot believe Komui would do this to us! Actually, to me!" Allen pouted, in near tears. Kanda averted his eyes and tapped his foot awkwardly on the ground. Inside, the samurai was secretly giving the Supervisor thumbs up and other little compliments abound. Tee-hee, Allen as a maid. I can die moderately happy, thought Kanda.
To refresh, when we last left our two heroes, they had come across enemies more fearsome than the Millennium Earl or Tikki Mick, sans swirly glasses. And what to do now? Let epiphanies rain from the sky!
Allen decided to give the Black Order a call. Hmph. It's not like Komui's going to just put the telephone number of Headquarters anywhere, but then again…The white-haired youth dragged Kanda down to the lobby and procured the Yellow Pages from Melissa, who was all too happy (yet afraid) to oblige.
"Are you a freaking idiot?" Kanda scoffed, flicking his hair. "Even Komui's not that stupid! I mean, it's true he's got the brain mass of a slug and has an excessively creepy sister-complex, but he doescare about the sake of the exor-"
"Ah! I found it!" Kanda blinked.
Humming, Allen skipped over to the payphone while the Japanese teen grappled with the phone book. As he looked, he was definitely not pleasantly surprised. "The Black Order's not a pizza delivery place! Fuck! So that's why he's always sending me to Italy to fight, like, one Akuma and receive shipments of Merda Salsa di Pizza." The exorcist shivered, fervently hoping that the so-called "flour" in the dough wasn't made from Komui's uncompleted assignments. He had heard Reever complaining about the lazy man's habit of going through nearly four paper shredders a week.
"Hello? Is this Supervisor Komui? Oh, hey Reever!" Allen smiled evilly, and Kanda glanced over with apprehension. "Great to hear from you again. Mm-hmm. What? No! Kanda hasn't hit on- err, look, just get me that bastard Komui, alright?"
Back at Headquarters, Reever snickered. He'd love to see the look on the Supervisor's face after this phone call. "Oi! Lenalee's calling from her mission. She seems like she really, really misses her big brother."
"GIMME THE PHONE." Komui leapt from on top of a book shelf (only God knows what he was doing up there) and raced down. What the hell?Reever thought, is it raining in here? Oh fuck! Those are Komui's tears! Fuck! I'll have to burn my lab coat! The Supervisor, oblivious to his comrade's deep disgust, continued to sob and wail, while flat on his back and making snow angels in the surplus of paper on the floor.
"My lovely, pretty, totally ah-dorable sweetie-pie! How's it goin' for you, doll? It's been an ah-mazing week for me! You better not have gotten a boyfriend, or you know awesome superhero Komui will go and- OH MY LORD WHAT A FILTHY MOUTH!!"
Kanda was actually laughing as Allen began cussing Komui out, drawing attention to the pair in the lobby. Melissa sighed, banging her head noisily against a potted plant.
"&#!!dammit#&!" The younger boy had gone a vibrant shade of carnelian. "How in hell's name did you order me to wear a maid uniform?!"
Komui paused. "I never assigned you to be a maid, nor for you to wear maid attire. You and Kanda were both supposed to be waiters…" Allen was puzzled here.
"But, I mean, the Manager told me this and everything! You're not joking, right?"
"No, Allen. And anyway, aren't maids supposed to be female? Anyhow, I'd advise you to talk to the head of the hotel once more."
"Mmm, alright. Sorry, Supervisor, I was pretty out of line. And why is the Order's number in a phone book under Anti-Akuma Pizza Delivery?"
"No problem Allen, I LIVE to HELP! Hmph, to answer that, simply, funds are tight!" Komui made a mental note to purchase another paper shredder. How was he going to make his special flour? "So, how's it going with that anti-social humbug?"
Allen glanced over at Kanda who had a faint blush on his cheeks from his amusement and the traces of a smile. The gaze- it melted Allen's anger right away. "It's really nice… I'm having a lot of fun, and I think we're getting along really nicely."
Holy Lenalee's pigtails, they're getting along? Oh no, don't tell me they've… they've… MOVED TO SECOND BASE? Crapcrapcrap, they better not be in love. Ooh, that scares me. Kanda, Allen, and love in the same sentence. "B-b-but you hate him, don't you Allen? Don't you?"
"Not really anymore. I don't really now how I feel, but I can say it's definitely not hate," Allen ran his fingers through his hair. The samurai was looking at him, questioning the long conversation, and he could barely concentrate. "Hey, were you they one who screwed up our luggage and gave us all this nasty prostitute clothing and-"
"This phone is designed to self-destruct once this call ends, and a special agent will come shortly to destroy the phone book. Sayonara, and have a fantastic, Lenalee-filled day! But not really, since she's mine. Whatever, seeyas!"
"Komui you bastard!" BOOM. Allen had flung the phone across the room and not a minute late either. "Freaking… C'mon, Kanda. Let's go to the help desk on more time." The duo left, and Melissa sputtered incoherently, a shard of pottery imbedded in her forehead from the plant. Suddenly, a sunglasses-clad man entered the hotel.
"Hello! Welcome to Hershey Park Ho- why do you have a gun?" BANGBANGBANG. Melissa had fainted, frothy foam dribbling from her mouth, and the Yellow Pages, though still yellow, where no more.
At Headquarters, Komui snapped his fingers, diva-style. "Damn. That call was long-distance."
"What? Someone tampered with the uniform delivery?" Allen couldn't believe his ears. After leaving the lobby, he found out that the hotel had, in fact, ordered a shipment of maid attire with pants and other garments of the sort to appease to their employees' needs. When the boxes were delivered, they seemed to be fine. The personnel in charge turned his back for one moment to contact another section, and when he returned, they had been cut open. All clothing besides skirts and tops were stolen.
"When did this happen?" Kanda furrowed his brow. There was something seriously wrong with this ploy. After relaying the information, Allen had seemed most worried. Well, the jobs didn't begin until tomorrow morning since they'd come so late. Right now it was around six in the afternoon, so he'd have time to ask around.
"Moyashi. Go get the room keys. I'll meet you there in a bit." Kanda turned around swiftly, marching downwards.
"623, alright? 623!" Allen called. He took the keys from the aid and left. Meanwhile, Kanda was attempting to fend off an attacker, but to no avail.
"Yuuuuuu!! I knew ya'd come back to me, the guys always do!" Scarlet had latched herself firmly on said samurai's arm, refusing to get off. "So, ya wanna do it now, or save it til our first date?" Okay, that was the last straw. Talk about "it" with Yuu Kanda? Yer dead.
"Let go. Right. Now." Scarlet leaped back, settling into her swivel chair with a defiant squeak. "I want to know something about our job assignments."
"Anythin' fer you, darlin'. Yer so cute when ya got somethin' on yer mind…" Scarlet trailed off, looking dreamily at Kanda.
"Why was Allen assigned as a maid? He should have been a waiter, like me."
Scarlet's eyes bugged out once more, and Kanda was afraid she would have another episode. However, the woman began shivering nonstop, gripping her shoulders in an attempt to calm down. Surprised, Kanda leaned forward.
"I-I-I don't know n-nothin'. Not anythin'! You hear me, Yuu Kanda?!"
"What's wrong? Why are you so scared?" Kanda tried to fish for more information, but Scarlet was beyond comprehension. She stood up and guided Kanda out of the office, tears welling in her eyes.
"If I tell, bad things are gonna happen. Please, Yuu. Leave it." And pushed him out.
Ugh, that was pretty… fucking freaky. I mean, "bad things"? What the hell? There's obviously some conspiracy going on about Moyashi, right under our noses. Now that I think about it, maid and waiter… the jobs barely connect at all! Someone wants to separate us. Someone who knows that we're traveling together. Kanda would have continued on this path, but he realized that he was-shudder- caring about Allen, and dismissed everything, thinking that the teen could handle it by himself. He wasn't a baby, damn it!
Kanda reached room 623 and knocked on the door. He heard loud scuffling noises and became puzzled. Allen's voice rang out, high-pitched and nervous, "W-who's there?!"
"It's me, Moyashi. Open the fucking door already." With a sigh of relief, Allen pulled the samurai in, burying his face in Kanda's chest, gripping onto his shoulders. The Japanese man was shocked and coughed, about to push Allen off. He stopped when he saw the look on the white-haired youth's face. Guiding Allen further into the room, he twitched when he saw there was only one bed, and judging from the immense space in the room, the second had been removed. He spied a small, yet quaint kitchen and a tidy bathroom as well.
"Kanda… someone sent me a letter." The dread in Allen's voice was too much, and the long-haired teen noticed an open envelope on the bureau. Laying Allen gently on top of the blankets, he moved closer to the parchment.
"What… odd ink," Kanda whispered, picking up the paper gingerly. He gasped, dropping it and paling. The crimson letters dancing on the paper were different, and for a good reason. "Sick… this is so motherfucking sick…"
The letter was written entirely in blood.
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This morbid turn is so refreshing! And by the way, Merda Salsa di Pizza means "Shit Pizza Sauce." Bad, bad Komui! XP