Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

A/N: Really, each and every time you all outdo yourselves! Thank you so much for all the great feedback you all continue to give – I appreciate it more than you know. After last chapter, this story was added to a lot of alert lists so I just wanted to say welcome to all of the newcomers! Thanks for taking the time to enjoy the story and for caring enough to see where it goes from here. I haven't heard from many of these newcomers in reviews and I would love to hear what your opinions are, as well. For the most part, it seems as though everyone was pretty pleased to see the story finally taking off on a happier note. And thanks for being patient while I was away from updating. Classes and work are really starting to pick up for me as the semester gets underway, so if I'm quiet for a few days that's why. Enjoy…

-perfectshadeofdarkblue

Best Definition of Good Intentions

14 – Breaking Up With Your Breakdown

Edward watched as Bella's eyes glazed over, unfocused, still looking straight ahead but not seeing what was in front of her. He saw the tears form and felt the need to pull her out of the cycle of memories that was flooding her mind. He fumbled for a moment, trying to decide the best course of action. Edward didn't want Bella to cry, but he didn't think she'd appreciate a complete 180, turning the conversation down a meaningless avenue.

"Bella, can I ask you a question?" Maybe if she didn't feel the pressure of the question she'd be more inclined to answer. "You don't have to answer, if you don't want.

Bella refocused her eyes but was still unable to form words, so she merely nodded.

"Is there a reason you haven't talked to your father yet?" Edward worried he was being too personal; he didn't want Bella to feel uncomfortable.

Confused, Bella just looked at Edward. She assumed he knew the basic points of what was going on – after all they had been occupying the same house for a few days now. But most of that time, Bella had spent in her zombie state; had everyone else filled him in?

"Bella, why haven't you talked to your father?" Edward wanted to shake her awake. Her father was still around for her to talk to about this! And so was her mother! No matter what was going on in her life right now, she still had two parents who she could turn to.

It wasn't a conscious decision, Bella was sure of that. She had found her lips parting and spilling secrets she swore she'd never share. And all because the comfort she saw in Edward's eyes promised it would be alright.

"I don't know why, really. But I seem to just be stuck. I can't move past this. Call me a masochist, I guess," Bella shrugged. She wasn't really answering

"What do you mean?" Edward silently added that Bella didn't need to tell him if she didn't feel comfortable. He had moved past the need to say it out loud, but he still wanted her to know it was true.

"I mean, look at you – you're not hiding in bed all day, you're not yelling at people for no reason. You're moving on, you're functioning like a normal person. That's lost on me right now. I can't move forward, I'm stuck here replaying what I saw over and over in my head. I keep thinking back to how things were before this, with my family – wondering if there was some clue, if I missed something, if I could have somehow prevented this. I'm wondering if I'm the only one…" Her voice trailed off as she became lost in her thoughts.

"Bella," Edward said firmly, calling her back to the present. "Listen to me. You cannot compare our situations. And besides you didn't see me before – I was ten times worse than you."

"But, Edward, the point is your parents died – they died." He winced at the words and she apologized hastily, but she continued. "But here you are, trying to help me. I can't believe I envied you. I can't believe I still do."

"You envy me?"

Bella nodded her head, embarrassed of her admission.

"You're envious of my parents' deaths?" He asked incredulously.

"Well, when you put it like that," she rolled her eyes, trying to make light of the situation. "I don't wish death on my parents, or anything like that, but I am envious of the fact that you're not blaming your parents breaking apart your family. But I have no one else to blame except mine. That's what hurts so much about all of this – the fact that they let our family, my family, down."

Something didn't make sense to Edward. Did he have all the facts? Was there something he was missing? He hesitated, not wanting to make a mistake now that he'd started to make some progress with Bella. "Earlier you said you were wondering if you were the only one. But you trailed off. The only one what?"

"The only one who cared."

"Who cared about what?"

"My family."

Edward waited silently for her to divulge further.

"Things haven't been right with my family for a long time. My parents both threw themselves into their jobs instead of trying to fix it, which usually left me to pick up the pieces. I never minded, at least not at first. I always just assumed they were really busy and that things would get better. That it was just a rough patch we would work through. Except I was the only one working through it, trying to fix it. They both just pretended it didn't exist, like everything was fine. They carried out their daily lives, as if nothing was wrong. But something was wrong, and I know they noticed it. I was just the only one who cared."

Silent tears rolled down Bella's cheeks and she turned her head to look out the windshield, although she still couldn't see anything. Edward's hand cupped her cheek and he brushed away tears with his thumb.

Edward got back to his original questions, "Why haven't you talked to your dad?"

Unable to speak, she shook her head.

"Bella," he urged.

She closed her eyes and shook her head more adamantly this time. She pulled his hand off her cheek, placing it in his lap gently.

Edward took in the movements, his hurt reflecting in his eyes. When Bella opened her eyes again, she could see the pain she'd caused him. It hadn't been her intention; she wasn't denying him, she just couldn't bear to tell the truth.

"I can't say it."

"Why not?"

"I keep thinking that if I stay quiet, if I don't admit it out loud that there's a chance it won't be true. But if I so much as whisper the words, then they're alive and there's no way to deny them." She was talking more to herself than Edward at this point.

"Bella, what are you talking about?"

His voice brought her back and reality came crashing around her. Her voice rose as she spoke, "My dad doesn't care about me, Edward! How do you think that feels? Do you think I want to go around admitting that?"

Shocked, Edward could only stare of her, mouth agape. He recovered, "How could you say that?"

"Because it's true."

"Bella…" Edward was at a loss for words. He had no idea how to convince her of the actual truth. How could she be so mad at her father throughout this ordeal? Did she even have any anger left for her mother? In Edward's eyes, she was the one who deserved the blame.

Again, Edward cupped her face, this time with both of his hands, brushing away her tears. He tucked his head down so their eyes were in line.

"Listen to me, Bella. That is not true. You cannot believe that even for one tiny second."

"But…"

"No, buts. Your father calls every single day, usually two or three times a day. I hear Esme and Carlisle on the phone with him all the time, always comforting him about you. He's worried about you, Bella. But he doesn't want to rush you; he doesn't want to make you feel worse about it. He wants you to be able to forget about the entire thing if that's what will make you feel better. You father, along with Carlisle and Esme, don't want to make you feel bad so they won't say anything about it. But I think you should know. Because you shouldn't be going around thinking your father doesn't love you. He loves you more than anything, Bella. That's the only reason he can stand to be away from you right now; he wants to give you space if that's what you need. Even though, what he needs more than anything right now is his daughter." His voice was stern as he spoke, almost as though he were scolding a child.

Before letting go, he pressed lightly, reaffirming his words – pushing her to understand.

"Please say you'll talk to him?" he asked.

Bella nodded her head then turned to look out the window. The rain was still coming down strong,

"Do you have your cell phone?" she asked, without turning to him.

"It's at the house. It died this morning and I left it there to charge. I never expected anything to happen in this small town that I would need it."

Bella laughed at his words. She added, "Don't go underestimating Forks."

For a few minutes they were silent, watching and listening to the rain falling around them.

"Have you thought anymore about the stars?" Edward was the one to break the quiet.

Bella smiled as she realized their thoughts had been parallel.

"Yes," she answered simply.

"Can you explain impossibility anymore?"

At his words, she turned to look at him. "You remembered?"

"Of course, I remembered. There was no way I could forget, even if I wanted to. I told you, that conversation means more to me than you'll ever realize."

She smiled, faintly, wishing she could recall it better. They were quiet again, simply looking at each other. For the first time since she'd spent time with him, Bella really took in Edward's appearance.

His hair was still wet from the rain causing the dark locks to fall across his forehead in a messy fashion. Underneath his pale skin, his cheek bones and jaw line were dominant. Through his parted lips, Bella could make out the faint outline of brilliant white teeth. She looked again at his eyes – the green orbs that had made her feel so comfortable. For the first time, Bella noticed how good-looking Edward was. Her mind compared him to Jacob. They were both tall and had approximately the same muscular build, but Edward was more classically handsome whereas Jacob was considered hot by all of her school friends.

Bella shook the thoughts of Jacob from her mind, as well as the ones involving Edward's good looks.

But at the same time Bella was appraising Edward's appearance, he was also appraising hers. He was noticing the way her dark hair fell across her shoulders, how she made no attempt to brush the stray strands from her face. He took in her brown, puppy dog eyes again, getting lost in them as he was felt was typical now since it happened so often. The faint trace of a smile echoed on her lips and Edward could see its beauty, and her beauty, radiating through the sadness.

"Still impossible?" He asked more specifically, forcing her to answer.

"Maybe not impossible, but I'm still siding with disbelief." Bella laughed, allowing the sound to escape fully for the first time since she'd spent the morning in Jacob's garage. "Man, I never thought I'd meet someone who was just as obsessed with stars as I was."

"Obsessed? Really?"

"Like you wouldn't believe. It really just amazes me how differently people can view them. But then despite the differences, it always comes down to the same thing," Bella explained.

"Let me guess…" Then Edward ventured, "Perfection?"

"Exactly!"

"People see the in stars what they want to see – their idea of perfection at that moment," Edward guessed again, looking to Bella for reassurance.

"Don't take my word for it. You may see it differently. But tell me, can you think of a better definition than perfection that defines where some people describe their heaven and where others make wishes?"

Edward thought a moment. "No, I guess I can't."

Bella smiled smugly.

"Let me venture another guess, if you will."

Bella extended her hand, motioning for him to proceed.

"You're saying the stars represent impossibility. You don't believe in their perfection?"

Now it was Bella's turn to think. She answered carefully, "It's not that I don't believe in the stars' perfection. It's more that I can't buy into that ideal of perfection anymore. How am I supposed to keep believing in the same things I always believed in when my world gets turned upside down? I guess that's why I haven't really made sense of what the stars are telling me yet."

Sensing the conversation was moving back to the serious side, Edward only nodded his head, not trusting his words to betray the situation.

Bella stepped in before she cried involuntarily again. "So have you always been obsessed with the stars, Edward?"

Her effort to deflect was obvious, but still Edward gave in. He nodded, "Although, I never realized I was."

"It's not the sort of thing that sneaks up on a person," Bella said, making a dig at him.

"You're right – it's not. I was always obsessed with the night sky, but never realized it was the stars that held my interest before moving out here. You see, they're hardly visible back in the Chicago, with all the bright city lights. But one of my favorite things to do at night involved sitting on the roof of our apartment building, staring into the night."

"So you're seeing all sorts of new stars you never saw before. And all the hope they hold," Bella surprised him by remembering at least a small part of their previous conversation.

"There was as meteor shower once when I was younger. It was the first time I went to the roof of the building. My dad took me up there, with a telescope and everything. Carlisle actually came, too. He tried to convince Emmett and Alice, but neither was too interested in it at the time, I suppose since it ended up only being just the three of us."

Bella noticed Edward's first specific mention of his parents, or his dad at least. She blushed faintly, feeling selfish for dominating the conversation, focusing on her problems when he was dealing with his own. She wanted to let him know that she was willing to return the favor of listening, but she didn't want to make the conversation stilted and awkward, especially after they had just moved off of the heavy topics.

She decided to open the door for further comment, if he wanted to say more. Honestly curious, she asked, "Did you always go to the roof with your dad?"

Edward paused a moment before answering quietly, "No, I usually went by myself."

The shift in the atmosphere between them was apparent and Edward wouldn't look Bella in the eye. She was afraid she'd said something wrong, but didn't want to draw attention to her mistake any further.

Their attentions returned to the windshield in front of them.

"The rain's slowing down now. I think I'll change the tire before it starts raining harder again." Without another word, Edward got out of the car and started removing the spare tire from the trunk of the Volvo.

Bella got out of the car, being sure to keep her gift from Edward clear of the water. She asked, "Anything I can do to help?"

Edward looked up at her and noticed her trembling stature now that she was out of the heat of the car.

"Here, take off your wet sweatshirt and put this on." Edward unzipped the maroon hoodie he was wearing and handed it over to Bella.

After pulling the soaked sweatshirt over her head and tossing it back in the car, Bella slid her arms through Edward's jacket. Shivering slightly as the rainy air hit her bare skin, clad in only a t-shirt she zipped it up, nearly all the way, and then pushed the sleeves up so her hands could poke out of the ends.

"Thanks," she stammered while taking in Edward's new appearance. Without the hoodie, he was wearing only a white t-shirt. The v-neck exposed the smooth skin of his neck stretching over in collar bone and fading into the smooth, pale skin of his chest. Bella could see the outline of his muscles better now that they weren't covered in the bulky fabric.

For the second time, Bella chastised herself for her wandering thoughts about Edward's looks.

It took Edward almost no effort at all to replace the flat tire and they were soon making their way back to the Cullen's house. The ride back was silent as Edward wound his way along the tree-lined roads and Bella raked her mind, mercilessly, trying to come up with the perfect thing to say to ease the newfound tension.