Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

A/N: Anyone ever feel like life gets away from you sometimes? I feel like I've gotten so caught up in everything going on in my life that I've hardly had the chance to actually enjoy it. I can't believe it's already the middle of October...that's just crazy. Anyway, my apologies for the length of time between these updates, I'm not really sure where the time has gone. Enjoy…

- perfectshadeofdarkblue

Best Definition of Good Intentions

19 – There's No Love Like Apathy

The next morning, Bella woke with a newfound sense of determination. She'd suffered through countless dreams through the course of the night, all laced with a desolate edge. In the shower, she allowed the water to rinse the negativity from her body. Bella was through wallowing in her self-pity. If she wanted to feel better about her life, then she was going to have to take charge. The only surefire way to not show weakness was to not be weak. And in order to not be weak, she decided to stop hiding. Bella needed to go home. She'd finally realized she held the key to her own happiness.

When she finally made her way down the stairs, Alice and Esme were sitting around the kitchen table. Both were dressed for the day, eating their respective breakfasts. The paper lay abandoned on the tabletop while Esme's attention was focused on the conversation.

"I know he gets along so well with you all – and I'm so glad for that. Sometimes, I just worry that won't be enough once school starts," Esme was confiding. The way in which Esme treated her children more like equals, always amazed Bella. She often wondered whether that was due to the fact that Alice and Emmett were adopted or because of the kind of woman Esme was. Typically, Bella sided with the latter choice.

"What do you mean? We're not going to forget about him once school starts; he'll be there with us," Alice defended.

"Oh no, that's not what I meant, dear. Edward's always been so confident, but it's such an overwhelming situation. Starting a new school especially after all this time spent as a break from reality, it's bound to take its toll on him. Maybe it would be better if you introduce him to your friends before the year starts – sort of ease him into it?" It came out more as a question than a suggestion.

"Of course, I can do that, Mom."

"You could even invite all of your friends over here one night if you wanted to. Have a movie night or something…I could bake for you if you wanted."

As Bella bounded down the last few steps, she shouted, "That's a great idea!"

At first, Esme and Alice didn't know how to react to her enthusiasm. At their perplexed looks, Bella continued. "It'll be fun to get everyone together. Just think about how long it's been!"

"Really?" Alice asked for confirmation.

"Really!" Bella cheered. "You should call Jessica – she'd know if something's going on soon."

With a skip in her step, Alice ran upstairs to retrieve her phone. In a rush to get back downstairs, she quickly found Jessica's number and waited for her to pick up.

"I'm glad you liked this idea, Bella," Esme started. She was so grateful for Bella's sudden cheer and did not want to be the one who ruined it. She wants nothing more than to see Bella be cheerful and carefree.

"Yea?" Bella said, sitting down in Alice's old seat with her bowl of cereal.

"I am. I think it's good for Alice to keep occupied while Jasper's gone." It wasn't that she didn't believe in her daughter's relationship or approve of her choice in company, but she wanted Alice to have other things in her life besides Jasper.

Bella nodded her understanding and the two remained silent until Alice reappeared at the table beaming.

"Jessica actually said she was planning on having some people over tonight! She was glad I called – she wasn't sure whether we were around or not. But she's really excited we're going – she thought maybe we could all go up to First Beach for the sunset first!" Alice's excitement for the possibility of social interaction was overwhelming and Bella couldn't help but be caught up in it.

"That's awesome!" Bella exclaimed with a laugh. "I guess we should tell Edward we've made plans for him. Where is he?"

"He joined Emmett on his workout this morning. And I think Emmett was planning on meeting up with some friends to play football afterwards," Esme answered, beginning to clear the table.

Bella laughed again. "I thought you said you were worried about Edward making friends?"

Esme thought a moment before clarifying. "I'm worried about him making friends at school. I'm glad he's with Emmett and meeting his friends, but those boys have all graduated and won't be in Forks at the end of the summer. And I know it's a useless worry – Edward's a wonderful person and I'm sure he will make friends, but there's no such thing as a guarantee."

"Good enough," Bella shrugged.

"Come on, Bella, let's go do something!" Alice pulled on Bella's arm, guiding her towards the stairs.

After clearing her throat, Bella expressed her plans for the day. "Actually, Alice, I was hoping you could take me home in a little bit."

Esme stopped doing the dishes and Alice stopped tugging Bella's arm.

"I really appreciate everything you all have done, letting me stay here for so long, but I think it's time I went home. I doubt Charlie will last much longer by himself," Bella laughed, trying to lighten the entire situation and relieve some of the pressure she was feeling.

"Bella, you're welcome to stay as long as you want. Please don't feel as though you need to leave because of us." Esme wondered if this plan had anything to do with Bella's sudden change of attitude.

"Thank you, Esme." Bella smiled sweetly. "You all are right, though, I need to go home to Charlie. It's not right that I left him."

As Bella spoke, the sparkling light that had been present all morning vanished.

"Bella, if you'd feel more comfortable if we kept our opinions to ourselves, just say the word. We didn't say that to cause you to leave; we just want to see you happy."

"No, I know. And thank you, Esme, for wanting me to be happy. But I don't think it's helping anything that I'm away from my real home." Alice's face dropped and Bella laughed. "Don't worry, Alice. This is my second home."

Immediately, the smile returned to Alice's face and she embraced Bella with a strength that was surprising for a girl of such a small size.

The next few hours were a blur as a search and rescue mission was carried out to track down all of Bella's belongings. After much insistence that Esme did not need to launder any more of her clothes, Bella threw her bag into the backseat of Alice's car and climbed into the passenger side while Alice revved the engine from the driver's street. Esme leaned into the window once more before the girls pulled away, kissing Bella on the cheek and reassuring her quietly that she was welcome anytime. She kept her place at the top of the long, windy driveway, waving until the shiny yellow sports car was no longer in sight.

Alice made a sharp turn onto the road as soon as the front wheels hit pavement and there was the loud squeal due to the friction between the rubber and asphalt. Automatically, Bella grabbed the door handle until her knuckles were white.

"Oh, calm down. You're more used to driving with me than that!" Alice chided.

"I'm out of practice that's all! I've only driven with Edward lately, which was a nice change, I might add." Bella gave her a pointed look. "I've never felt like I was going to die as his passenger."

The speed fell only slightly as Alice cracked up at Bella's words. She recovered, wiping the tears from her eyes while accelerating.

"You are too much, Bella," a calm Alice said.

Bella turned towards her best friend, but Alice was focused on the road. Bella was sure whether she was happy Alice was taking driving seriously or disappointed that she was seeing her confused look.

"I'm kind of glad Edward didn't get back before we left. I didn't really want to have to face him and explain that I was going home after last night." She looked out the window, hoping to conceal her embarrassment.

"What do you mean?" Alice inquired.

"Just that he saw my breakdown last night after just dinner with my dad. He'll probably think I'm crazy for going back home."

"What do you care what he thinks anyway?"

"I don't!" Bella shouted forcefully. With subtlety, she continued, "We've just talked about all of this – he understands where I'm coming from pretty well. I don't want him to doubt me. I don't want him to think I'm making a mistake."

"Bella…," Alice drew out the second syllable until she was stopped at the traffic sign and could turn towards Bella. Shifting in her seat, she focused only on Bella. Although they hadn't talked much over the past few days, the previous night Bella had explained what had happened while at home and why she was so upset. Alice couldn't do anything but support Bella's decision to go home. Even though she loved having her best friend live with her, Alice knew where Bella really belonged – with her father. It was obvious that Charlie only ever wanted what was best for his family and even though his family might be a cohesive unit any more, he still had their best interests at heart. He didn't want to see Bella so upset and was hoping that if she understood what had happened, she's be more likely to move past this rough patch easily. Alice didn't doubt that Charlie thought he was doing the right thing, but without knowing what Renee would explain, Alice didn't know whether Bella could handle it or not.

Alice hadn't dared to say any of this to Bella; she'd merely listened and provided comfort. She wanted the trusting Bella to understand her own reality and decide what was best for her. Despite Bella's currently tangled trust in Charlie, Alice believed without a doubt that he would never force Bella to speak to her mother if she didn't want to. He might encourage it, but he would let Bella make her own decisions.

But what Edward had to do with the entire situation, Alice wasn't sure. Their growing friendship had become apparent under the Cullen roof, but that didn't explain Bella's concern over his opinions of her.

"…as long as you think you're doing the right thing, you have the entire support of my family. That includes Edward. And come tomorrow, if you change your mind, our door is open. We're here for you no matter what."

Another moment's pause and Alice pulled away from the stop sign. When the squealing sound subsided, she changed the subject. "Now tell me. What exactly is the deal with you and Edward? You two have become awfully friendly."

Bella's jaw dropped at the insinuation, but she laughed and swatted at Alice's arm. However, the mischievous smile remained at her pixie-like face.

"You're not serious, are you?"

Alice raised her eyebrows suggestively.

"Alice, no! No way. What's your deal of assuming there's an ulterior motive underneath every friendship I have with a guy?" Bella laughed at her friend's absurdity.

"Don't even get me started – I still there's something going on with this Jacob fellow." At Bella's disbelieving look, Alice held up her hands in surrender. "I just call it like I see it."

"And how exactly do you see it?"

"You really want me to explain?" Bella nodded. "First of all, you're the one caring what he thinks. Second of all, like you said, you let him see your breakdown last night."

"You're going to have to do better than that."

"Alright. Point C, you two have been hanging out a lot lately. Late at night, in his room – don't think I didn't notice!"

Now it was Bella's turn to crack up hysterically while Alice was left confused.

"Point C?" she whispered through the hysterics.

"What?" Alice demanded, impatiently.

"First of all, second of all….point C?" Another round of hysterics broke out and Bella struggled to breath.

"I said that?"

Bella nodded and now Alice joined in the laughter, shaking her head.

The remaining few moments of the car ride were spent in quiet laughter until Alice pulled up outside Bella's house and put the car in park. Bella hopped out and waved to Alice as she climbed the porch stairs.

"Edward and I will be by later to pick you up for Jessica's!" Alice shouted, tearing down the driveway.

Walking in the house and setting her bag down, Bella surveyed the cozy house. It was nowhere near the size of the Cullen's, yet it only made the mess that much more apparent. Quickly, she ran upstairs to put away her belongings before starting to return the house to livable state. During Renee's prolonged absences while at work, Bella had been the one to assume the role of grounds keeper – taking care of the laundry, cleaning and cooking. Sliding back into this role, she accepted her position with vigor, happy to have a place where she belonged. She was happy to have a purpose; Charlie needed her.

After scrubbing the kitchen and vacuuming the living room, Bella returned upstairs to take a shower and get ready for the evening's activities. As the steaming water ran down her body, she could feel herself relax. She prolonged the shower, allowing the fresh memories of the past few days to resurface. As always, Bella was left feeling grateful for having found such a best friend in Alice. Lately, she was feeling even more grateful that it hadn't been just Alice who had accepted her just a few years ago; she was glad it had been the whole family, for she knew there would have been no way she'd have survived otherwise. In her mind, she recounted the defining moments of the past five days, starting with Alice picking her up and ending with Alice dropping her off at home. Aside from those two, every other moment of clarity had Edward's presence. Bella began to doubt that she'd been home now if Edward hadn't been there.

Above all else, Bella was grateful to have Edward.

Toweling off, Bella grabbed clothes out of the closet without much thought; her outfit didn't matter much. On the one hand, she was happy to have some semblance of her regular life back, by seeing her friends. But on the other hand, she'd much rather hang out at the Cullen's, sitting around with Edward, Alice, Jasper, and even Emmett and Rosalie. Bella had been especially surprised to see the change in behavior from Rosalie over the past few days. They'd had minimal encounters, but instead of brushing past each other, Rosalie usually offered a warm smile or some sort of acknowledgement, which was a first.

Bella returned downstairs and went to work in the kitchen. She pulled chicken out the fridge and cut it up while she threw vegetables into a pan over the stove. Just as she turned up the heat and was adding the seasoning, Charlie walked in the front door. Bella heard him hang up with gun belt and then stopped short as he took in the sight of the house – the exact reaction his daughter had been expecting.

Charlie walked around the corner and peered in the kitchen, his eyes not believing the sight before him.

"Bella? What are you doing?" he asked, shocked.

"Cooking dinner, Dad. What does it look like?" she replied with a sarcastic smile.

"I meant, what are you doing here?" Bella's eyes widened for a moment and Charlie corrected himself. "Not that I don't want you here – trust me, kid, I do – I just…I didn't know to expect you."

"I'm home, Dad." Bella explained simply, turning her back on the sizzling stove to look at her father.

"You mean that?"

Bella nodded her head and Charlie walked over to her and enveloped her in a rare father-daughter bear hug.

"It's good to have you back, Bells."

Turning back, before her father could see the emotion in her eyes, Bella laughed. "You only say that because the house is clean and you've got food to eat again."

"Hey! I was doing just fine before!" Charlie joked back, preferring the lighter atmosphere instead of the serious, emotion-laden one he'd created.

"How 'bout you set the table?" Bella offered, wiping her eyes on the back of her sleeve. So far, so good, she thought. Thus far, coming home did not prove to be a mistake. Not only had she felt needed in the house's presence, but her father had as good as told her he wanted her. And that meant a lot coming from Charlie; Bella knew not to doubt his love for her.

"So what are your plans for the night?" Charlie broke the silence while putting forks and knives in their proper places.

"Meeting up with some friends at First Beach. Alice is going to pick me up after dinner." Bella doled out heaping portions of the chicken and vegetable stir fry over rice onto two plates.

A map of town flashed through Charlie's mind. The Cullen's house was on the far edge of town, the closest part of Forks to La Push. He wondered why Alice would be picking Bella up when she'd have the drive all that way again at the end of the time. Just as he was about to suggest Bella to take her truck to spare Alice to longer trip, realization came crushing down.

Charlie couldn't keep the disappointment out of his voice as he spoke. "You're staying at Alice's tonight."

Bella recognized it more as a statement that needed confirmation rather than a question. "Yea."

"Okay," Charlie responded softly. Bella knew he was going to be disappointed, but at the same time it didn't bother her as much as she felt it could. She was forcing herself to be independent, she couldn't rely so heavily on others if she wanted to avoiding pain.

"Bella..." Charlie called out.

"Yea?"

"I thought you were coming home."

Bella drew in a deep breath. Just because Charlie's disappointment wasn't such a bother, didn't mean she enjoyed the pain she was inflicting. She tried to word her answer as gently as possible. "I am, Dad. I'm just taking it slow – small steps."

He nodded his understanding and Bella went on to lighten the mood with humor. "Besides, after living with Alice for five das, I'm going crazy after spending five hours apart from her."

Her attempt was rewarded with a hearty laugh from Charlie and the two set down to eat their dinners.

Unsure of how much time he'd have with his daughter over the next few days, Charlie chanced bringing Renee up. While Bella had been hoping they'd have an unspoken agreement to never speak her name, she knew she wasn't being realistic. But she hadn't expected the subject to be brought up so quickly.

"I was going to call Renee tomorrow to see about getting together next weekend." He left it completely open-ended, not wanting Bella to feel pressured into anything.

Bella sealed herself off from her emotions. Purposefully, she placed a small smile on her lips and turned to Charlie. Remaining completely in control, she said, "I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

And that was that. Conversation ended. Bella made a note to remember to always state in charge and speak assertively since it had worked so effectively this time. She couldn't help but feeling a tinge of resentment at Charlie for ruining her first night back by bringing up Renee. Was he so clueless to how she felt? Or was he really that hopeful that it would change? Whatever the reason, Bella didn't care, so long as the mentions stopped.

As Bella cleared the dishes, Charlie went into the living room and turned on the television. For lack of anything else, he flipped the channel to a golf tournament and settled into his favorite chair. When she finished, Bella joined him, watching the game in silence while she waited for Alice and Edward.

When a golfer struggled to salvage his ball from a sand trap, Charlie spoke. "Edward going tonight, too?"

"Yea. It's kind of the point of the night. Esme wanted Edward to meet some friends before school starts."

"That's good. It's nice that you two are friends – he's a good kid, Bella." He smiled at his daughter before returning his attention to the screen where the same golfer was now putting on the green.

For a moment, Bella was curious. This was unusual behavior for Charlie. Never before had he really expressed an interest in her friends, let alone offer up his approval so conventionally. He acted almost as though Bella should need his permission before spending time with him. Instead of pondering over it, she took the direct approach.

"What do you mean?"

"Huh?" Charlie pulled his attention away from the game again. "Oh. I just mean Edward seems like a nice guy. You could do worse than him."

Before she could ask for further clarification, he refocused on the game as the golfers switched turns. Then Bella was left alone with her thoughts. She knew Charlie had met Edward last night when he picked her up; had he said something that made Charlie think they were a good match? Is that what Charlie was saying? Isn't that what Alice had said earlier?

What had Bella missed? She was fairly certain she'd done nothing to coincide with the thoughts of Alice or Charlie, but had Edward without Bella realizing? She'd been living in such a bubble for the past five days that she'd hardly noticed. Granted, she and Edward had bonded very quickly, but that was just because they were going through similar situations. Wasn't it? He had always showed concern for her and wanted to help her, but wasn't that just part of his friendly duties? Hadn't Jasper or Emmett done the same? As Bella thought about it, she realized that Jasper and Emmett had, in fact, not treated her like Edward did. Suddenly, Bella was overcome with uneasiness. Part of her was excited at the prospect of the attention from Edward but another was disbelieving. There was no denying that Edward was a great guy, and now that she was so focused on him, she couldn't deny she had feelings towards him. But she couldn't believe a guy like that would have feelings for her. She was such a mess, why on earth was he spending any time with her lately, instead of running in the opposite direction.

Running out of the room, Bella mumbled something to Charlie about changing her clothes. If she was going to get to the bottom of this, she was going to have to put more effort into her appearance, rather than just grabbing the first thing in sight.

Just as she reappeared at the bottom of the stairs, this time wearing a fitted t-shirt with her jeans, Alice honked her horn from the driveway. Bella called out to Charlie while walking out the door.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­The chapter title, "There's No Love Like Apathy" comes from the song "I'm Ready, I Am," by The Format. :)