Chapter 8

I woke up surrounded by Capitol doctors, except one which was my mother. I felt things in my nose and reached up to take them out, but my mother caught my hand, laying it gently back down. I look around slowly and see Peeta through the bodies, sitting on his bed, hands cuffed in front with two peacekeepers on each side of him.

"What's going on?" I croak out.

"You died again," a Capitol doctor states. I see Peeta wince. "The poison hadn't been completely combated, but we've given you a stronger version of the antidote in hopes this will kill the poison left, and keep you from flatlining again."

"Peeta?" He doesn't look at me, he continues to stare at the ground.

"I must have loved you a lot. If you're dying hurts me, I must have loved you a lot." He stares. No, no, no, no! He looks up, "Did you love me?"

"Yes Peeta, yes!" He seems to be confused at my answer, the tone in which I say it, as he thinks about it. "Peeta, real or not real, ask."

Peeta stares at me then says slowly, "There's no District Twelve, real or not real?"

"Not real. We've been rebuilding it."

"We live together, real or not real?"

"Real. You and I, we don't like living alone."

"Finnick and Prim are dead, real or not real?"

I wince, "Real. Both died in the Capitol." I say quietly, sadly.

"You love me, real or not real?"

"Real." I reply softly. Peeta nods and sits there a few moments, then reaches up, touching the back of his head, wincing.

"Today's your birthday, I forgot, didn't I?" I nod. "I'm sorry." He looks around then closed his eyes then pinches the bridge of his nose between his forefinger and thumb, which looked slightly hard to do given the way his hands were bound. "Now I remember... I watched you read the letter, then, all of the sudden you fainted, the machine went crazy, and you died. And I-I lost it." He opens his eyes and looks at me then stands up and after a little swaying starts walking the short distance to me. The peacekeepers move to grab him, "I'm fine." He growls to them and after a moment of hesitation they back off. He pushes through the doctors to stand by my bed. He tries to stand straight, but he sways and his shoulders slouch forward with a heavy weight as he grips the bedside.

"Sit." I tell him and he does on the bed's edge. I take a moment to look him over and see how he devastated and hopeless he looked, tired, distant, before I look at the doctors surrounding me not wanting to see what Peeta had worked so hard to fix. "So giving me more of the antidote is supposed to kill the remaining poison?" I confirm.

"We can't get rid of the poison completely, not unless we drain you of the tainted blood, and it's an absurd notion to think you can produce enough blood fast enough to replace the loss, therefore you'd die, again. Someone would have to donate blood. This antidote is a... temporary fix."

"I'll do it." Peeta says immediately, his head snapping up from it's draped position.

"Sorry, but you aren't her blood type." The doctor says in immediate dismissal and plows on. "We've already checked your mother and she isn't either."

"Well, check everyone else." Peeta says, his brows furrowing.

"Peeta, I'm not taking other people's blood." I murmur slightly disgusted.

"We do have to get their consent, but we can test them and if we're lucky we can get her ready for blood drainage and transfusion within the hour." The doctor says ignoring me, just as he had Peeta.

"That's fine, do it." Peeta says. The doctors all nod and leave.

"Rest Katniss." My mother says patting my hand before following after the doctors. The peacekeepers stand unmoving, right where they were when I awoke. Peeta doesn't tell them to leave.

"Peeta I don't need this, they've already given me the boosted antidote."

"Katniss, you need help to breathe right now," he says taking my hand the best that he can. "You need this."

"And what if they can't find a match?"

"They will. You're the Mockingjay,

"Was." I correct quickly. I had hated being the Mockingjay then, and I hate it now, besides I was no longer anything, everything was over.

"Are." He states and continues. " If there isn't any blood among our friends they'll find some, somewhere." I purse my lips, then nod. If I couldn't trust Peeta, who could I? Peeta sits there looking at my hand, rubbing the back in circles with his thumb.

"Peeta," I begin. He looks up, focusing on me. "Peeta, I'm worried, about you."

"Katniss-"

"Let me finish!" I knew I wasn't going to be able to tell him later, in fact I might not get the chance to. I don't make eye contact with him as I continue. "I'm worried that you're... slipping. It's happened too often, your hijacking episodes, and it's worrying me, Peeta." Peeta looks away.

"I'm not going to leave you Katniss." I hear the pain in his voice. This wasn't the first time we've discussed this.

"Peeta how long can you keep fighting without some help?" He looks at me, his blue eyes are hard and full with the fire of determination.

"Till I take my last and final breath." I feel regret start to form at my words. I realize they show I have no faith in Peeta.

I try to backpedal, to prove that isn't what i had meant, "I know you can fight it on your own, but you also have some help?" That may not be right either. Peeta would never be saying any of this...

"I have you." That was a given.

"I know, but what about something else?"

"Like what?" He furrowed his brow. He wasn't angry yet, but I could hear it in the edge of his voice, that I was pushing him towards it and I couldn't stop myself.

I didn't exactly know myself what would be the help, but I said the first thing that came to mind, "Like medicine!"

"Medicine?" He stared at me incredulously, his grip on my hand slowly loosening. "You think there's medicine for a hijacked person? It's not a disease Katniss!"

"I know that!" I plow on, fumbling out the words, "But Dr. Aurelius has already been working on medicine and you know he's close to something!"

His brows furrow together in a scowl, "Darts that knock me out, is not close to anything."

I sigh frustrated, "Peeta, I don't want to lose you, not again, not in any way."

His features harden, "You are not-"

"Great news!" We look to the door as the man in white, from his white hair to his white boots, walks in triumphantly.

"Dr. Aurelius," Peeta nods coldly as the doctor comes to stand by my bed.

"Hi, Doc," I greet him quietly.

He smiles at me, "Hello, Katniss." He then looks at Peeta still smiling and nods, "Peeta, I think you will be happy to know I have made a breakthrough."

"So what is the great news?" Peeta asks avoiding the topic of his medicine, though to me I thought that was pretty great.

"Ah, yes, we have found a match, two in fact."

"Who?" Peeta and I ask at the same time. Some medics and doctors walk in, followed by Haymitch, then a little more behind, Gale.

"No." Peeta says.

"Absolutely, not." I add, then looked to Peeta, wondering why he would be objecting.

"I do not want a drunk donating. No offense, Haymitch." Peeta adds.

"None taken." Haymitch says waving his hand in a dismissive manner.

"Well I don't want to take Gale's blood." I say to explain my objection.

"Not really your choice here, Catnip."

"I'd rather have Haymitch's." I retort stubbornly.

"If I may, the best candidate is, believe it or not, Haymitch." We all look skeptically to the doctor, even Haymitch. "Being the drunk, Haymitch has put so much alcohol in his blood, that it will transfer to Katniss and if we've missed any poison, it could possibly isolate and kill it. Not to mention the alcohol has made his blood a high tolerance for poisons so to speak. Of course there is a downside, which is that Katniss will for a while will be craving alcohol and will go through alcohol withdrawal if you withhold it, which I suggest deeply."

"I'll do it." I say before Peeta can even get a sound out. "That is of course, if you're willing to give Haymitch."

He nods with a little smirk, "Of course I am sweetheart. If you die, who would I get to pester about how much life sucks with only geese and you for company?"

"Love you too, Haymitch." I smile and he grins at me."

"So it's settled then? The dru-I mean Haymitch," Dr. Aurelius holds up his hands to show he had meant no offense and Haymitch dismisses it. "Is donating?"

"Yes." Haymitch and I say. Gale and Peeta exchange looks, but stay silent. I must have missed a lot between the rebellion and my being out, because it seemed like a look only buddies could give and understand.

"All right, we'll get started immediately. Haymitch, this way." Dr. Aurelius says, gesturing toward the door. Haymitch nods and starts toward it. Dr. Aurelius turns to me, "Medics will be in, in a moment to wheel you down." I nod my understanding and he leaves.

Gale looks at Peeta, sighing lightly, "Peeta, I think it's better this way, man." Peeta nods and Gale's eyes shift to me. "See you in a bit, Catnip." He says then begins to leaves.

"Wait! Gale," I don't know why, I guess it was because I just

Peeta and Gale were now friends, if that's what they even were, but I needed someone to stay with Peeta. And not some Capitol person either, someone I trusted. And I trusted Gale whole-heartedly. "Gale, could you stay with Peeta, until I get back?" Gale nods without hesitation and Peeta doesn't argue.

A medic comes in with a wheelchair and wheels it right up to the end of my bed. He starts to unhook me from the IV and the effects are almost immediate, I can tell I was on morphline this whole time. He switches my oxygen over to a small carry sized box machine that sat in a little pouch on the back of the wheelchair, then comes to pick me up as Peeta gets up.

"Allow me," Gale says stepping up around the medic. The medic silently moves out of the way. Gale pulls back the covers then slips an arm under my legs and back, lifting me carefully up to the clearing throat of Peeta behind me who I could understand wouldn't be comfortable with me being in someone elses arms, especially Gale's.

I put an arm around his neck, leaning my head tiredly on his shoulder even though it was a short walk out to be made, "Watch out for Peeta." I whisper to him as he sits me gently in the wheelchair and before he pulls away, he whispers, "Of course, Catnip." He moves out of the way and allows the medic to start wheeling me away.

"Do what they tell you," Peeta calls.

"Don't be so stubborn,"Gale adds and I could hear the small smirk in his voice.

"Okay." I say back as I pass through the doors and turn to the right, being wheeled down the hall into the elevator.

The room I was in for the blood drainage was in the hospital's basement, the floor for the "Special Situations", such as this. They had trouble at first, trying to find Haymitch's vein and get set up then when I was brought in, Haymitch was already surly from being poked and prodded so much, complaining that he wasn't a pin cushion and they've probably busted more veins than he had to spare. They set me up fairly quickly, and I had only gone into the red zone once throughout the whole procedure.

I felt sick and dizzy as they wheeled me back to my room, and when I saw Effie and Octavia

Gale and Peeta waiting, i almost turned around to tell the medic to wheel me right back out down the hall, but it was too late, Effie had already seen me.

"Katniss!" She squealed in relieved delight.

"Hi, Effie," I replied weakly with a smile.

"Oh Katniss, darling, you look so pale!"

Peeta, now sitting in his own bed and handcuffs removed stares at me as I'm wheeled to my bed, straightens and asks, "How do you feel, Katniss?"

"Not well, but I've felt worse." Gale comes over and picks me up gently from the chair then lays me in the bed, covering me up. I could feel Peeta's eyes trained on us the whole time, especially Gale.

"Where's Haymitch?" Effie asks.

"They're bring him up." The medic replies as he hooks me up, then leaves.

"Well, Effie, I must go tell the others she's back." Octavia says smiling.

Effie nods, "Thank you Octavia for the company."

"For you, anytime." Octavia says then leaves.

Effie looks at me, "Johanna and Annie with her son little Finn are here and they've been waiting to see you."

"Oh Effie, I really don't feel like seeing anyone right now, I-I don't feel well." True it was mainly just to get out of seeing people and to get rid of Effie, but I really wasn't up to it.

Effie looks at me a moment, "All right dear, maybe some rest will make you feel better." I nod once.

Then it hits and I'm quickly scanning the room, " Gale, please get me that trash can." I say urgently, pointing and turning onto my side. Without question, Gale grabs the trash can and hurries it back over to me, reaching me just in time. My hand touches it, tilting it towards me as I throw up in it. My stomach is on fire, the heaving brings tears to my eyes and pulls at my stitched up wound. I throw up two more times before I lay back down, staring up at the ceiling through teary eyes, panting and hurting.

"Get a doctor!" Peeta says harshly.

"I'm fine." I get out weakly. The taste the vomit left in my mouth was vile and I wanted to throw up again, but now it would probably just be dry heaving.

"No you're not, Katniss." Gale says setting the trash can down, walking towards the door. He reaches it just as Haymitch is being rolled in. Gale grabs the medic by the front of his shirt and pulls him close to where there noses almost touch.

"Gale!" I yell weakly just as Haymitch says, "Easy there snare boy."

"Go get her a doctor," he says menacingly, then lets go of the scared medic who stumbles away. Gale doesn't turn back around, and instead, he walks past Haymitch, mutters something, then disappeared the same as the medic went.

"Gale's going for a walk." Haymitch announces, looking around him at the wheels on his chair then up between Peeta and me as if to ask if we were gonna just leave him there. I felt like going for a walk too, but I doubt if I'd get very far without some catastrophe happening.

Effie walks to Haymitch, and rolls him into the small lounge area in the room. Beside my bed was beginning to stink like vomit.

Effie faced me, still calm, but I could see the look of discomfort and disgust on her face, "Please, if you will excuse me, I am going to go check and make sure Octavia has not done anything." She leaves without another word.

"She isn't one to stomach vomiting." Haymitch explains after a little bit.

"Then how on earth can she stomach to be around you?"

"I ask myself the same thing." He says jokingly, then looks directly at me more seriously. "She can't most of the time. Why do you think I've tried to stop drinking, sweetheart?" I don't answer. Even if I was going to, I couldn't have because a doctor, followed by the cared medic walks in. The doctor calmly walks to me then turns and asks Peeta what was wrong with me as if I couldn't tell him, or he couldn't smell it. Peeta tells him and the doctor nods then begins to check me out, starting with my vitals.

When he has finished, he puts away the little pen of light he just finished shining in my eyes and takes a step back.

"There really isn't anything wrong with her. She's hunger and naturally, the new blood from the drunk is tell her brain she is drunk and needs to throw up the vile contents. This will pass in about an hour, then we can begin to feed you." I nod once.

"See, I told you there's nothing wrong with me," I say looking over at Peeta.

"I wanted to be sure, you've had a few thing's happen in the past few days that make me concerned."

"So have you."

"Katniss, my condition is far less critical than yours."

The doctor clears his throat, "I will send food up in an hour. By tomorrow we should be able to release you."

"Thank you." The doctor nods and leaves.

"Well, looks as if we'll be getting out of this depressing place soon, eh sweetheart?"

"Yes, then we'll go back home to District Twelve and I'm going to sleep in

comfortable bed with Peeta and not going to wake up for anyone or anything."

Peeta smiles a little, "Thanks for including me in your plans." I feel a light blush in my cheeks and softly smile back.

"Sorry to ruin your

plans, but you have an execution to carry out, Katniss."

"Why? Why do I have to do it, why can't it be some Peacekeeper? Better yet, why not let him rot and starve in a cell?" I ask angrily.

"This is your way of recompense for not killing Snow. The people haven't forgotten, and now you can show them you're still one hundred percent their Mockingjay."

"But Snow died anyway, and I saved them from someone who would've probably caused worse things to befall Panem! I'm not the Mockingjay anymore, that title became meaningless the day we became free." I huff.

"That may be so Katniss, but that's not how others perceive it!" Haymitch shoots back.

"Well I can't do it Haymitch! I can't kill another person, deserving or not!" The room becomes silent except for the hum and beep of the machines behind and around me.

The long silence is finally broken by Haymitch's soft sigh, "I know Katniss, and I'm sorry, but it

to happen."

Peeta stands up slowly and moves to my bed side, "Katniss, I understand your want not to kill anyone else, but this man is a murderer, the son of Snow. He tried to kill me, almost succeeded with you, killed your sister and other innocent children. Would you let a man of such heartless filth live?" I look at Peeta. He stands unsteadily before me, calling for the shedding of a man's blood, his eyes filled with hunger for revenge, this is not Peeta. Peeta wouldn't harm a fly except to protect those he loved. But...if I switched and placed myself in Peeta's place, I would call for this man's blood as well after all he has done, but I would have already taken my revenge. This is different though.

"Peeta, it's all easy when you say it like that, and of course I don't want him living if I'm being honest, but you're asking

to kill him, not someone else. This isn't the Games, I'm not fighting for my life and being forced to kill. I'm not doing it."

"Katniss-" I cut Haymitch off.

"Haymitch, I don't want to do this, or argue about this. It's unfair because I can't leave."

"It's actually really great for me." I give him a look that makes his smile go away. "Fine, I'll give you time to think about it."

"Haymitch-" He holds a hand up to cut me off and I sigh in frustration. I feel medicine being pumped into my arm beginning to get drowsy and before I know it I've slipped into unconsciousness.