Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

A/N: Not my best work, last chapter. So here's to improving! Thanks for all the kind words and the welcomes. You all are the greatest! Enjoy…


Best Definition of Good Intentions

26 – This Delicate Balance

Once again, it was a lively affair in the Black household for dinner that night. Everyone was in high spirits, at least on the outside.

"How 'bout you go with Jake to the garage to grab some more beer?" Billy suggested to Charlie, who disappeared out the back door trailing behind the mammoth-sized boy.

Everyone laughed as they watched Jacob remind Charlie to duck through the door, only to realize he was the only one in that particular dangerous situation. Harry was in the kitchen with Sue, preparing his well-loved fish fry.

"Seth and Leah not going to make it tonight?" Bella asked as she watched Harry and Sue perform their perfected dance in the kitchen.

"Not tonight, dear," Sue apologized, turning around. "They're off to who knows where."

"Come on, Bella," Billy said, wheeling over to her. "Let's make sure everything's set at the table."

Bella knew the look in Billy's eyes well: he had something he wanted to say. But, whatever it was, he didn't want to share in front of his friends. He certainly wasted no time in getting to his point once they were out of earshot. There was so much sizzling coming from the frying pan, Bella was sure Sue and Harry wouldn't have noticed if a tornado flew by outside, let alone a quiet conversation behind their backs.

"I'm glad you make it tonight, Bella. It means a lot to your dad." Billy didn't even keep the act of setting the table up. He turned around in his wheelchair to face Bella and motioned to her to take a seat in front of him.

She shook her head and began to set the table, avoiding eye contact. It made her uncomfortable to deny Billy; he had such an authoritative presence that it seemed wrong to do so.

"It's good that you've gone home," he said, stating a fact, not opinion. "Good for both of you. But I'm worried about Charlie, Bella. This isn't his fault and you should know that – I hope you realize that."

His words caused Bella's head to snap in his direction. He spoke so earnestly, his voice was so heartfelt. He was truly worried and Bella couldn't remember the last time that she'd seen the older man express such concern. Generally, he was stoic in his emotions, never letting anything get the best of him. But tonight, he spoke honestly and openly with Bella, hoping to convince her.

Still, she remained silent and let him continue.

"The only reason I won't say more is because of the respect I have for your father. He knows me too well, he's my oldest friend, and he knows my meddling nature. I call it protectiveness – I protect and look out for those I care about most. But he's asked me not to divulge the information to you, so I won't. But, Bella, there are things you should know. Things your mother, and father, are willing to tell you. But they won't tell you until you're ready."

Bella's throat had long run dry and she croaked out her words, accusingly, hating the insinuations. "What do you expect me to do, Billy?"

"I don't mean to upset you, Bella. I just want to warn about placing blame without all the information. This is tragic situation and I'm very sorry your family is longer together, but there are things you need to know."

"What things?" Bella asked, adamantly.

"That I can't say," Billy dropped his chin to his chest, offering an apology. Under any normal circumstances, he would tell Bella the truth, but he'd made a promise to Charlie. And keeping his word meant more than anything.

Defeated, Bella pushed her hair out of her face, tucking it behind her ears. Silently, she continued setting the table, failing to clear her head. When she finished, she turned, without another look at Billy, who hadn't moved this whole time, to walk back to the kitchen.

"Bella," he called out, voice still a whisper.

She turned, expectantly. Before her sat a tribal elder, sage wisdom seeming to seep out of his every pore, would he render the secrets of life to her? She hoped. She thought it would make things easier. What did it mean – that there was information she needed to know? Information she needed before she could place blame?

Now, she placed the blame on everyone, because it was just as much her fault as it was Charlie's, as it was Renee's. None of them would escape this unscathed.

"They won't tell you until you're ready," Billy repeated and rolled past her. By the time he'd made it back to the kitchen, he'd shed his Chief persona and Bella could hear him laughing amongst his friends.

Bella was glued to the spot. Billy's words echoed in her mind as she searched for the wisdom, the underlying meaning. After a few fruitless minutes, Jacob wandered over to Bella, shaking her shoulder gently to pull her out of her self-induced haze.

"You alright, Bells?" he asked, smiling brilliantly.

"Huh? What?" she asked, brushing her hands over her face to gather her bearings. "Yea, yea. I'm fine."

She flashed a sarcastic smile, hoping put her friend at ease, but only succeeding in worrying him.

"Bella," he groaned, grabbing both her shoulders. "We're friends, right?"

Nodding in agreement, she waited for him to continue.

"You can talk to me." He was met by a blank stare. "You know that, right?"

"Jake, I'm fine. Nothing to talk about," she said, adding a laugh for good measure. Lying had never been her strong suit, but she felt comfortable in her deception. At the very least, it put her at ease – her lying. She was protecting herself.

"Suit yourself," he muttered and pulled her into the kitchen, where the dinner party was in full swing.

Harry and Sue had finished the fish fry and were now expertly pilling each dish high with food.

"Let's eat!" Harry exclaimed as soon as the last dishes were in place.

The entire event was meant to revive Charlie and whereas no one had admitted it aloud, aside from Billy and Harry, who'd done all the planning, everyone knew. Over past tumultuous week, Charlie had buried himself in his work. His wife was gone and he hadn't had Bella to come home to. He was suffering silently and didn't want to be trapped in a house full of hollowed memories. Instead, he'd spent his time at the station, even spending time in neighboring counties to help, when need or unneeded.

Billy and Harry missed their friend and, being men, didn't know how to go about making things better. They contrived the idea for this dinner party, combing their favorite things, but at the moment the only item from that list that had made an appearance was Harry's fish-fry.

"Mind I turn on ESPN?" Charlie asked, breaking the silence.

Eyes shifted around the table and they all broke into laughter. As Jacob moved to the television to a more visible location, the awkward tension passed. He reclaimed his seat next to Bella. She was the only one not focused on the announcers, even Sue looked intrigued, and Jacob took advantage of the quasi-privacy to talk to Bella more.

"We still on for cliff-diving next week?" he asked, leaning over to speak softly. He didn't want to attract unwanted attention.

"I don't know about cliff-diving, but, sure, we can hang out next week." Bella looked tired as she placed fish and vegetables in her mouth to chew.

"What? You nervous about cliff-diving?" Jacob teased.

"I'm not nervous. I don't even know what it is," she defended.

"Then why are you saying no?"

"Fine," she conceded. "Cliff-diving it is. But I'm not actually promising to jump."

"Works for me." Again, he flashed his brilliant smile and Bella was thankful to have Jacob in her life. He expressed his concern for her, but never pushed her when she didn't want to talk. Most importantly, he distracted when she needed a break from her overdriven brain. She could always count on him to shed light on any situation. "Embry and Quil are going to be so excited at even the possibility of you cliff-diving. I doubt you'll even be able to say 'no' after they try charming you."

"Seriously?" Bella groaned. "Can't you tell them not to come? I don't want an audience."

"You aren't inviting your friends. I told you to have them all come. It's way more entertaining when there are a lot of us." He hesitated for a moment before continuing. "Besides, I want to meet your friends."

Bella could barely decipher Jacob's last sentence. She wasn't sure whether it was from the lack of volume or the fact that he'd spoken so quickly, and muttered, but whatever it was, she had no idea what he'd said. But she had an idea.

"Excuse me?" she asked, innocently. "You want to what?"

"Nothing," he grumbled, shoveling food in his mouth.

"No, Jake, really. I just didn't hear what you said."

"Liar," he called her out, yet, he repeated, annunciating every word, "I said I want to meet you friends."

"My friends? Why?"

"Because they're your friends. And I'm your friend. What? You don't want me to meet your friends?" he asked, trying to draw the attention off himself.

"Jake," Bella hesitated.

"I just thought it'd be a nice way for us all to hang out. I like spending time with you, Bella. You know that. And you like spending time with me, too, hopefully. You like spending time with them, too. This way you can hang out with all your favorite people together."

"Jake." This time there was no hesitation, only concern.

"What, Bella?" Jacob knew what she was thinking, and if he could be granted any wish, it would be for her to no longer think this way.

"You know how I feel, Jake." Her words were an apology.

"And you know how I feel. And that's it. End of story." He turned back to his plate and they resumed silence.

But it didn't last for long. Jacob set his fork done abruptly; his plate was empty. Looking around the table, the adults had all finished their meals and were engrossed in the start of the game. Jacob made his excuses and started clearing the table. With one meaningful glance from Jacob, Bella jumped up and began to help. Once they were in the kitchen, Bella started wrapping up the extra food and putting into the refrigerator. Jacob just sat on the counter, watching her work.

Eventually, she got sick of the tension. "What is it?"

"I ran into some friends of yours today."

"You ran into friends of mine? What friends? Where?" He must be mistaken, she thought. Who could he have seen, and didn't he spend the day on the reservation, getting ready for tonight?

"Emmet and Jasper. The new kid, too." The coldness in his voice was not lost on Bella.

"Edward?" she asked.

Jacob nodded.

"You saw Edward today?" she asked again.

"Yes. I saw Edward and Emmett and Jasper today," he explained.

"Where?" Bella was drying her hands on a dishtowel, no longer able to concentrate during this conversation.

Jacob shrugged. "In the forest in La Push. They were riding again."

"You didn't say anything to them, did you?" Bella knew well of Jasper and Emmett, and The General's, love for motorcycles and the outdoors and she also knew well of the tribe's territorial nature when it came to their land and space.

"I didn't want to," he said, holding his hands up in innocence. "I tried convincing Sam to just let it go. And he would have listened to me had it not been for Paul. Seriously, one day, I'm just going to kick that kid's ass."

Bella stared at him, eyes wide.

"Sorry. I'm going to kick his butt," he amended, earning a laugh from Bella.

"So what happened?" Had something truly awful transpired, Alice would have called Bella. Even though no one else knew of her friendship with Jacob, Emmett and Jasper would have been annoyed enough about running into the Quileute pack to let it slip out. But what about Edward? What did he think of the entire situation? Had Jasper or Emmett explained anything to them? Oh no, Bella thought, had Jacob said something to them about her?

"Nothing really. Paul was stoked to see them without Jasper's dad around and wanted to give them a hard time. I tried to convince Sam otherwise, but once Paul had suggested it…Sam acts as though he's got a reputation to uphold. I don't really understand it, but he likes the control over the rest of us, as self-appointed leader." He stressed the 'self-appointed.'

"So nothing happened? Then what was the point?" Bella asked, concerned. She couldn't help but feel as though Jacob were leaving a critical part of the story out.

"To get a rise out them. And it nearly worked, until I stepped him."

"What a hero," Bella said, smacking his arm and jumping up to sit next to him on the counter.

"Hey! I saved one of them from a broken nose, but I'm not sure which one. If it was Paul, then I deserve the chance to punch him."

"What aren't you telling me?" Bella couldn't put up with anymore of Jacob's story telling. When the outcome of the tale was abstract and she had no stock in reality, she didn't mind his verbose nature, but now, he was treading thin ice. "What'd you say about me?"

"How'd you know I said something about you? Did you know?" he asked.

"You said it yourself, Jake. We're friends. I know you, which means you probably felt the need to do some name dropping."

Jacob decided to come right out and ask Bella instead of dance around the issue like he'd been doing all night. "Why didn't they know we were friends?"

For a moment, Bella was stunned silent. It was a legitimate question. And it wasn't that she was keeping their friendship a secret, she just hadn't had the opportunity to share it.

"It's okay, Bells. You don't have to answer." He looked so dejected; it nearly broke Bella's heart, knowing she'd been the cause of that sadness.

Quickly, she corrected. "No, Jake, that's not it."

Placing her hand on his warm arm, she waited until he looked at her. "It just never came up. Alice knows we're friends. In fact, Alice is dying to meet you. The only reason you haven't is because I'm trying to save you. She's a lot to put up with."

Jacob gave a half-hearted smile that was no one where the shining sun Bella was used to taking residence across his russet skin. She continued.

"The Cullen's were on vacation this past month, which is why you could never get rid of me." Thinking about how her words sounded she revised, "Not that I was only hanging out with you because I didn't have anything else to do. Really, I loved every minute we spent together. But had they been home, Alice wouldn't have let me out of her sight much."

"It's okay, Bella. I know what you meant," he said, full smile in tow. "So you loved every minute we spent together?"

A blush invaded her cheeks as she recalled her words. "Shut up. Your ego's big enough as it is, Mr. Hero."

"Ouch," he said, feigning hurt.

"I'm sorry, Jake," Bella knew her first apology wasn't enough. Jacob deserved more than a half-way explanation. As much as she wanted to avoid certain subjects, she couldn't bring herself to hurt Jacob's feelings. "Alice came home the same day I saw my mom in the kitchen. I immediately went to the Cullen's and have stayed there every night since. The first few days, I didn't even leave my room. I just…couldn't face anything."

"You didn't answer my calls? And you didn't call me back?" He wasn't hurt, he understood what she was saying, but he still wanted to know more, to understand more.

"I know. I just couldn't. I knew you'd know and you'd try to cheer me up and…I didn't want to be cheered up. I couldn't pretend like nothing had happened. I needed to wallow in it."

"And now?" Leave it to Jacob to ask the right questions.

"Now? I'm not wallowing," she offered with a shy smile.

"Bella, really? Are you doing okay?" He didn't want to push it, but he couldn't drop it if she wasn't okay.

"I'm getting there."

It was the only answer she could give without lying. And Jacob, being the good, intuitive friend that he was, accepted it knowing it wasn't the full truth. He'd made his feelings for Bella clear, on multiple occasions. He had to believe she understood he'd do anything for her and that he only wanted to see her happy. He knew you could only help a person who wanted help. It was Bella's turn to ask for the help he was offering.

-

In an effort to put Billy, who would stop by the Swan residence several times over the next few days, at ease, Bella did what she could to ready herself. She could only assume that was the hidden meaning behind the words. It wasn't even all that hidden. She didn't know what the truth was but she had to believe she'd be better off knowing.

The truth sets a person free, right?

What about ignorance is bliss?

Over the course of the week, Bella had a lot of time to ready herself. Charlie was still working just as much, although he did make an effort to be home, but things were still stilted between father and daughter. By weeks' end, Bella vowed to fix their relationship. She tried, unsuccessfully, to talk to Charlie on more than one occasion. However, he'd followed her previous wishes and avoided bringing up Renee to Bella. She knew that if she wanted to talk to her father about it, she'd need to name the culprit first. And that was definitely something, Bella was not ready for.

Alice, and the rest of the Cullen's, was in full preparation mode, which meant the two best friends rarely saw each other. On occasion, Bella would accompany Alice to one of the few stores in town to accumulate all the needs to the road trip. Carlisle and Esme were going to be driving separately because they would be leaving later on Sunday than the rest due to the conference, but the other six would not fit in any of their cars. Carlisle had debated renting a car, but all of the teenagers were too young. Thus it was decided that three cars, total, would be making the trip, Jasper and Edward as the other drivers.

With Alice busy, both Jasper and Bella found themselves with time on their hands. Together they would walk through the woods, not getting lost, and or just hang out. Often, Jasper and Bella would find themselves in Bella's backyard, silent as Jasper strummed song after song on his guitar and Bella was lost in thought.

"What's got you so worked up?" Jasper asked as he played the final chords of a song.

"The more accurate question would be what doesn't have me so worked up." Bella was stretched out on the grass in her backyard, wearing shorts and a tank top in the warm weather, enjoying the warmth the sun's rays provided her.

"Alright," Jasper spoke, his Southern drawl, stretching the word. "What doesn't have you so worked up?"

"Shut up," Bella teased as she threw a twig at Jasper.

"Hey! Watch out for my baby here!" He ran a hand across the shiny surface of his guitar.

Bella rolled her eyes and started in on her list of problems. There was actually only one she could speak to Jasper about, so that's where she started. "I don't know what to get Edward for his birthday."

"Join the club. I have no idea. But, knowing, Alice, she'll have both of us covered," he said with a wink. Times like these, he appreciated his girlfriend's obsessive nature. There were definitely other times, though, that he did not.

"I know, but still. I feel like I need to get him something special," Bella muttered, mostly to herself.

"Something special?" Jasper asked, raising his eyebrows.

Bella's cheeks flooded pink when she realized Jasper had heard her. "I just mean, we're close – he's done a lot for me. I want to get something that will mean something to him, to show my appreciation, to make it up to him."

"Make what up to him?"

"His birthday."

"What about his birthday? Why would you need to make something up to him?" Jasper took off his sunglasses to see Bella better. Whatever she was about to reveal, he knew it was important.

Bella sighed, letting out a deep breath. Sadly, she said, "His parents were going to take him to New York for his birthday. To Carnegie Hall. The trip meant the world to him."

"Oh, man. I knew this weekend was going to be tough for him, but I didn't think it would be that bad. Alice checked and so did Mrs. Cullen, he said never said he'd rather not go. Do you think he'd rather a low key thing?" Jasper's concern was dripping in his every word and Bella was relieved to see she wasn't the only, non-family, friend Edward hard. Jasper, in fact, had noticed how Edward had retreated during the week. He thought after their riding activities, Edward would be in better shape, and in some ways, he was. Although, he'd noticed the sudden change, Jasper hadn't the slightest idea as to why.

"I think low-key would give him more time to think about what he's missing. But I don't think we should recreate New York. But I think we definitely need to plan for what we want to do on Saturday. He likes music a lot and Seattle's a big city – think there's a band playing that night he might like to see?" Bella suggested. She'd hardly seen Edward all week; only during short, sporadic stops to the Cullen's did they exchange pleasantries. They'd spoken on the phone for a bit while Alice had been out shopping, leaving her phone at home, but aside from that, their contact had been minimal. Bella hoped to keep it that way until she'd decided on a gift. She might just have to go shopping with Alice.

"That's a great idea, Bella! I'll definitely look into that. I actually talked to Edward about Saturday. He was actually hoping to go around the city a bit, he said there were some specific things he wanted to do. I know Alice wanted to go shopping, too, so maybe you could keep Edward company then? Aside from celebrating his birthday, I don't think he should really wander around alone with his thoughts all day."

"I don't mind. That even gives me an excuse to get out shopping with Alice." She held her hand out for a high five.

Bella returned to her thoughts as Jasper picked up his strumming with new vigor. After another song though, he looked back to Bella.

"What else is on your mind?"

With one look from Bella, Jasper knew exactly what was on her mind.

"You know, if you're thinking about it so much, maybe it's worth a shot."

"What is?" she asked.

"Talking to your mom."

"How did you…"

"Really, Bella? I know you haven't talked to her. I don't know what happened that's made you really worry lately, but anyone can see that you are worried."

Bella nodded, unable to speak.

"Anything I can do?"

She shook her head and turned her eyes the sky. The sun was low and it was started to cool off. Soon she'd need to return inside and start making dinner for when Charlie returned.

"You're owed an explanation, Bella. You might as well get it. Even if it's the exact opposite of what you want to hear, you've still got all of us. We're not going anywhere. Just let us help you."

Bella and Jasper both stood and he wrapped her in his arms, placing a small kiss on her head.

"We want to help you."

Of course, they did. They cared about her. But they wouldn't always care about her, and then where would she be?

A/N: Chapter title comes from "Existentialism on Prom Night" by Straylight Run.

So what'd you all think? Not what you were expecting I don't think. Edward's birthday in Seattle is coming though, no worries. Yes? No?