Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.
A/N: A little later than planned, but no less fantastic, if I do say so myself. This chapter has been a long time coming for me. I think I planned it way back in chapter 9. Let's see if you can figure out what I'm talking about. And to all of you fantastic readers who've stuck with me….a whole day of Bella and Edward together. (Well almost the whole day.) Enjoy…
Best Definition of Good Intentions
31 – Numb is the New Deep
The wind was harsh and the skies gray. Bella pulled her jacket tighter across her chest as she hurried to keep up with Edward. Another four blocks, a right turn, a quick left and some odd blocks later, Bella felt surely lost in the city. She'd been here countless times before but was so unfamiliar with the area they were currently navigating. Trying to get her bearings, she looked around at the cityscape. The sun was hidden and all she saw were lifeless slate windows. Another right turn and Bella read the sign for City Hall once more.
"Edward," she called out. The wind ripped the words from her but still he managed to hear and turned around. Once she'd caught up, she asked, "Are you sure you know where we're going? That's the third time we've passed City Hall and it seemed like we keep making circle."
"I'm sure. Come on," he urged. "Just follow me."
And off they were again. Edward's long legs took him farther and father ahead as Bella struggled to keep him in her sights. She ran the last few steps, tripping over the curb, but luckily Edward was there to steady her.
"What kind of errand do you have to run in Seattle anyway? You've never even been here before." Bella held onto Edward's arm as they dodged among the others crowded on the city sidewalk.
"I have been here before," Edward argued. "It's just been awhile. You'll see, though, when we get there."
Another left, right, let with more steps thrown in and they were walking along the wharf. The throngs of people had thinned as most would not be enjoying a waterside walk on a day like today. Edward slowed his pace, almost to a crawl and Bella found herself again struggling, this time to stay in line. Every few feet Edward would stop, lean against the railing and stare out at the crossing ferries. Just as Bella would settle in beside him, she'd see his muscular forearms tense against the metal barrier as he pushed himself off and repeated the pattern.
He pulled the arms of the waterproof fleece down past his wrists, hiding his hands in the fabric. He crossed his arms over his chest, and then shoved his hands in his pockets. He pulled them out, pushed the fabric of the jacket up to his elbows then repeated the circuit.
In the short time she'd known him, Bella had never seen Edward fidget. He was also the essence of calm and collected, regardless of circumstances. Still, that's what he was doing now. One last time, Bella watched as Edward moved away from the railing – she'd long given up with keeping up – and turned back inland.
5, 4, 3, 2, 1, she counted in her head, waiting for fidgeting to turn him around.
Like clockwork he stopped, just shy of the main road. Bella had no idea what was wreaking havoc on him and she also had no idea how to stop the dangerous cycle. Edward turned back around, a determined look on his face, and walked to the water again. This time he leaned his back against the railing and faced Bella seated on the bench in front of him. He met her eyes, not really focusing, and she waited for him to explain.
He never did, though, and when he raised his arm to rake his fingers through his perfectly styled, yet messy, hair, Bella couldn't sit back any longer.
"Edward!" she reprimanded, saving his copper locks from an untimely fate. "What's going on? What are we going?"
He met her eyes again, this time actually noticing their surroundings. "Oh, crap," he muttered and took a seat next to Bella.
Shoving his hands deep into the pockets of his jeans, he slouched down on the bench and stretched his legs out as far as he could. He closed his closed and tilted his head back toward the black heavens.
Bella had lost herself in the traveling ferries when, with a clap of thunder, the skies opened, releasing a torrential downpour on the two.
"Oh, my gosh," Bella shrieked as she ran for cover under the awning at the end of the wharf. "Edward, come on! What are you doing?" she yelled to the boy, still sitting in the rain, staring up at the sky. At her words, he didn't so much as move or look toward her. She hitched her hood over her forehead and ran back toward the bench. She grabbed his arm, urging "Come on!"
Rather lazily, Edward began to move toward the pavilion. Tired of his pace and the cold rain, Bella ran ahead to seek shelter. She sat backwards on a picnic table so she could look out at the water. When Edward finally caught up, he took a seat on the floor beside Bella's legs. They waited in silence, both catching their breaths as they watched the storm move over the city.
"Do you ever…," Edward started to ask, barely a whisper. Bella was so attuned to his every movement by now that volume did not matter. "Have you ever wanted do something more than anything, but didn't know if it was the right thing to do?"
He was still staring straight ahead, as though he hadn't said anything, as though he weren't expecting an answer. But Bella, so aware of everything about this boy beside her, noticed his breathing was shallow, nervous. He wanted a substantial answer, but wasn't going to give anymore details.
"I don't know," Bella answered slowly, thinking through her words. "I feel like I'm always trying to figure out what's right. But you never know if you don't try."
"But what if you regret it?" he asked, not looking away from the distance.
"What if you regret not doing it?" she challenged. It was more of a rhetorical question, so she quickly moved on. "You can't play that game, Edward. You can't second guess yourself."
"I don't want to make a mistake," he defended vehemently. Stressed, he ran his fingers through his rain-ravaged hair. He spoke again as he used his left hand to wrap around the bicep of his opposite arm. "I don't think they'll understand."
Bella could see the muscle tightening through the wet jacket clinging to the curves of his body. She sat in silence as his thumb rubbed circles over the material covering the sensitive skin of the underside of his arm.
"They won't understand." He sounded defeated as Bella tried to grasp the meaning of his words.
"Who won't understand? What won't they understand?" Her questions were answered with silence as Edward sat as still as a rock, save for his thumb. "Why does it matter, Edward? Why do you care so much what everyone else thinks?"
Edward let out a sigh in the breath he was holding. "I don't want them to think any less of me. I don't want to disappoint them."
"Edward." It was louder than a whisper and laced with shock. It grabbed her friend's attention and, for the first time, Edward tore his eyes away from the horizon and really looked up at the girl by his side. Bella's eyes were wide and honest. Droplets of water raced down her cheeks as her hair hung limply around her. She pulled the soaked strands away from her forehand with one hand, shaking out the twisted knots. Nervously, she twisted the ends around her fingers. She repeated, "Edward."
"Bella, I just don't –," Edward started.
"No, wait. Just listen to me for a second." Bella drew in a deep breath but looked away. "Now, I don't know exactly what you're talking about and – I'm not saying you have to tell me, I just mean that I could be completely off here. But, Edward, I admire you. Seriously, I look up to you. And I'm envious of how well you keep it together. I know you say that I didn't see you before, that you weren't always like this. But that doesn't matter. You've seen me at my worst, Edward, and I've never seen you at anything less than your best.
"And it isn't just me, you know. It's everyone. Alice, Jasper – even Carlisle and Esme. They're so proud of you, for just being you. If that's who you're worried about disappointing, well, then you can just forget it."
"Bella, I… You –"
"I'm not done yet. Whatever this is that's bothering you so much, you can tell me. If you want to, that is. Or anyone, really. We're all here for you, Edward. But none of us will try to convince you to do something you don't want to do, or talk you out of doing something you do want to do. We'll help you." Taking another deep breath, Bella turned back to face him. "Okay, now I'm done."
Edward laughed, "I forgot what I was going to say now."
"Oh, shut up. I didn't really say that much." She rolled her eyes.
"Bella, that's has to be the most I've ever heard you say at once. Really," he said earnestly, trying to keep the laughter out of his words.
"No, it wasn't! You're lying!"
"Okay, so maybe I'm exaggerating. But it's up there." He laughed again before drawing quiet to gather his thoughts.
While she waited for him to begin, Bella slide off the bench and sat on the ground next to Edward. She bent her knees, mimicking Edward, and smiled at the sight of his long legs next to her shorter ones, with hardly any space between them. The heavy-with-rain denim of both their jeans blended in. She placed her hand on his leg, right above his knee, and gave a gentle, encouraging squeeze.
Edward turned to look at her and offered a small, crooked grin. "I really appreciate that, Bella; I really do. I'm not sure how you can know how much your words really mean to me. I know you're all here for me, but there are some things I think I need to work out on my own. This is one of them; I hope you can understand that."
"That's fine, Edward. Like I said, you don't have to tell me. I just meant you can."
"Thanks. But, Bella?"
She raised in eyebrows in response, indicating she was listening.
"I didn't mean I don't want you to be a part of it. That's why I was glad things worked out the way they did, with us getting to spend some time together. You're the only one I knew who would support me no matter what. Whether that's because we both understand this kind of heartbreak or not, it doesn't matter. I'm just glad to have you with me."
"Does that mean you're finally going to tell me where we're going and what we're doing?" Bella asked with a laugh.
"No. At least, not yet. But it looks like it's stopped raining enough for us to go. Do want to go back to the hotel to change?" he asked, getting to his feet and then helping Bella do the same.
She shook her head, "It's just going to keep raining. Where are we off to?"
"Nice try, but I'm not telling. Change of plans though. We're going to go to the second stop first and then come back for the original first."
"Whatever you say," Bella said with a smile, stepping out from under the pavilion. When she saw howl lightly it really was raining now, she pulled the hood back and pulled her hair into a ponytail.
The sidewalks were empty as Edward and Bella made their way across town. They made easy conversation as they maneuvered around the puddle-riddled city streets. With the lack of foot traffic, it wasn't long until Edward announced they were almost to their destination. Only a few blocks from the hotel, in a less touristy section of town, Bella noticed some of the local hangouts. Several bars, closed to the morning hour, pool halls, independent bookstores and music stores lined the streets.
"Here we are," Edward declared as he opened the door and motioned for Bella to walk inside. Without looking at the sign above the door, Bella walked inside blindly with Edward right behind her.
Bella found herself along the left wall in a very bright, very open room. The wall right beside her, while painted white, was covered in artwork. Some pieces were black and white, others in muted colors. There were several plush leather couches and chairs, interspersed with glass end tables, and centered around a matching glass coffee table. On the opposite side of the large room was a smaller setup, but consisted of the same furniture and black wrought iron tables. Bella followed Edward as he walked towards a counter in the opposite corner. Behind the counter and along each wall, there were openings, but no doors. Instead, dark red curtains covered the holes. Bella couldn't see anything past the curtains, but she could hear voices and noises coming from behind the only closed curtains. The others were all pulled to one side and tied with gold rope.
"Hey. How you guys doing today?" a man asked as he entered the room from behind one of the curtains on the opposite side of the counter. He wore his dark hair long, twisted into dreadlocks. The top layer was pulled back, revealing with dark eyes which were taking in the appearances of Edward and Bella before him. His words, while polite, lacked any emotion as though he were holding off pleasantries until he'd made his judgment. He wore a light gray t-shirt under a brown vest, which completed his olive skin. The material was cut way from his neck and Bella could see the outline of the dark ink that marked a tattoo on his chest.
She turned around quickly, taking in the artwork on the walls once again and this time, she noticed the pictures that lined the back wall. Turning back toward Edward she grabbed his arm and whispered to him, "You're getting a tattoo?"
Edward simply nodded as he walked closer to the counter and stuck out his hand to the man. "I'm Edward Masen."
Realization dawned on the man's eyes and he smiled for the first time. His parted lips revealed white teeth and Bella could finally see his kindness. As he grasped Edward's hand in a firm shake, Bella could see the outline of another tattoo on his bicep. "I am Laurent," he said, releasing Edward's hand. "I see you got caught in the rain before."
Edward laughed. "You'd think we'd be used to the weather by now."
"You never get used to constant rain. And if you do, I pity you," Laurent said with a sad smile. Changing the subject, he said, "So Edward, tell me more about this design you have in mind."
Bella watched as Edward reached into his back pocket and removed his wallet. From the center folds, he took out a wrinkled piece of paper and laid it on the table before replacing the wallet. He flattened it out and pushed it across the glass for Laurent to see more clearly. "It's really just a rough design. I was hoping you might be able to refine it."
"Like I said before, that's not a problem." He picked up the paper before Bella could get a good look at the design that Edward was planning to mark his body with. "Why don't you tell me a bit about it before make any changes. Anything specific you were going for?"
"Well," Edward started as Laurent put the drawing back down. He turned it sideways so they could both look at it together. From the top of the design, Bella could now see it was the drawing that she'd seen in Edward's room not even 48 hours before. At the time, she hadn't been able to make sense of the design, and now was no different. Although this time, she noticed its true direction. The other night she'd looked at the design with a horizontal axis and now it was vertical.
"Well, it's a '3' and an 'E,' but I wanted it to be a bit more intricate than that. I liked the symmetry of it, but didn't want mirror images," Edward explained as he ran his fingers over the crumpled paper.
"Alright, I see what you're saying. So maybe the '3' with hard edges, but the 'E' with rounded corners? Or vice versa?" Laurent asked.
"Exactly," Edward said, a wide smile playing on his lips.
"I'm going to see what I can do. Give me about ten minutes then we'll talk. Just have a seat – I'll be right back." With a nod, he disappeared behind the red curtain he'd emerged from and now Bella could see the desk and computer, designating it office space.
Bella stared up at Edward in disbelief. He shot her a sly smirk before taking a seat on one of the couches. After a minute watching after him, Bella followed suite, taking a seat next to Edward, but facing him with her legs tucked under her.
"A tattoo?" she asked.
"A tattoo," he confirmed.
"Cool," Bella said, redoing her ponytail and turning to sit normally on the couch.
"That's it?" Edward asked. "'Cool?'"
"Yup," she said, popping the 'p.'
"No questions asked?"
"Nope," she repeated the same sound.
"Bella, seriously? I get no reaction from you for this?"
"You said it yourself; I'd support you no matter what." She shrugged her shoulders, leaning back into the smooth fabric.
Edward nodded but didn't say anything. He was glad that Bella wasn't giving him a hard time about his decision, but he'd expected more of a reaction from her. Usually, his inability to guess her reaction or thoughts granted him pleasant surprise. However, this time, he was feeling a bit uneasy. Several minutes based before either spoke again.
"I'm kidding, Edward!" she playfully slapped his arm. "I mean, I do think it's cool, but I can't believe you didn't tell me before!"
Edward let out a deep breath, thankful. "I didn't want you to talk me out of it."
"Is this what you were talking about before? You were worried you were making a mistake by getting a tattoo?"
"No, that's for the next stop. I was planning on getting this either way, but I thought it might help to get it done first."
"You're still not going to tell me where we're going next, are you?" Bella asked, hopeful.
"No, I'm not."
"Will you at least tell me what that design is you're getting? It's the same one I saw in your room – wait! This is what you meant by I'd find out soon enough!" After going to bed that night, Bella had almost entirely forgotten about seeing the design and the entire night came flooding back into her mind. Including how dangerously close she'd come to kissing Edward again. Thank goodness she hadn't remembered that when Alice and Rosalie had attacked her with questions regarding her and Edward's relationship the night before.
"It is," he said with a smile. "Like I said, it's a '3' and an 'E.'"
"Yea, but what's it mean?" Bella asked curious. Though she didn't have any friends with tattoos, she'd always imagined the stories people had behind their ink. She liked how bodies could tell a story without words.
"It's for my family," Edward said, quietly. "For our names. My father was Edward, Senior and my mother Elizabeth. Together, three E's. I just wanted a way to never forget that we were a family."
"You're not going to forget them," Bella answered his unspoken fear.
"Regardless, it's my tribute to them. To us," he said as his smile returned.
"Where are you getting it?" Bella asked, catching Edward's drift and moving the conversation down a less serious path.
Edward lifted his right arm and rubbed the underside of his bicep. Immediately, Bella understood why he'd been rubbing the skin earlier in the day. He knew what was coming.
Bella was about to open to her mouth to comment when Laurent came out from the back. "Alright, Edward, let's get started!"
Coming around the counter, he led them past the curtain in the very back of the room. Inside, the walls were decorated with little ink artwork, unlike the ones in the reception area. Instead, the walls were beautifully decorated with large paintings in gold frames spread across the white paint.
"These are beautiful," Bella commented, looking a picture of a forest covered in fog.
"Thanks. Did that one sometime ago," Laurent said as he handed several pieces of paper to Edward.
"You painted this?" Bella asked, incredulously.
"I am an artist," he replied with a smile before turning back to his costumer. "Which one do you like?"
For several minutes, Edward and Lauren discussed the differences between the different sketches before settling on the one that matched Edward's original the best. There was little flourish to the design, only the number and letter. Bella lost herself in the Polaroid's that lined the back wall. There were columns of two pictures up and down the wall. In the left was a photo of the costumer, sitting at Laurent's work bench, and in the right, a close up of the tattoo.
"So is this going to be a two-for-one, little lady?" Laurent asked as he readied his materials.
"What?" Bella asked turning around. When she understood his meaning, a blush crept its way to her cheeks. She laughed nervously, before slowly saying, "No. I don't think so."
"You just say the word," Laurent said with a wink before turning back to Edward, who was lying down with his arm above his head. "You need your girlfriend to hold your hand for the pain?"
Bella turned back around and was met by a shirtless Edward. Her breathing hitched as she took in the sight of the man before her. Earlier he'd looked like a lost little boy, fighting for his way, but now, with that happiest grin she'd ever seen, he looked like a man celebrating. She stammered, "Uhh…We're not….I'm not his girlfriend."
Laurent shrugged. "Doesn't mean this won't hurt."
Bella turned to Edward, asking him silently. He said, "I think I'll be alright."
"Your choice. You ready?"
With consent from Edward, Laurent sent to work making Edward's wishes a reality through the ink on his body. At the first sign of the tools, Bella herself flinched and Edward tried to smile her fear away. But when the needle's point came in contact with his skin, his smile faltered. Bella took a step forward, offering her hand, but Edward shook his head. She turned around then, wanting to spare him the pain of a wounded ego since she could do nothing for the other pain, and took a seat in the chair at the far end of the room. She opened the book lying on the table and flipped through all the designs Laurent had put together.
It was arranged by theme and Bella found herself lost in the pages that housed the star sketches. She'd never known so many different depictions of stars existed. Her fingers traced over a simple and delicate red outline of star. She could just imagine it gracing the inside of a girl's wrist. She continued to flip, seeing shooting stars, clusters of stars, nautical stars and colored stars.
She was pulled from her concentration when she heard Edward grunt. She looked up in time to see him squeeze his eyes shut and grind his teeth. She put the book down and made her way over to his side. His eyes were still closed and his fists clenched.
"Hey, man. Gotta unlock that. I need your muscle relaxed," Laurent instructed. Carefully, Edward opened his right fist and Laurent watched at the blood rushed through his extremities. "Alright, good. Not too much longer now."
Bella stole a look at the unfinished product. Edward's skin was red and raw, but she could see the beginnings of the design. Laurent put the machine back to the rough skin and, wish a buzzing noise, began to work again. Edward grunted again, squeezing his left fist tighter, but keeping his right open. Sweat was beading on his forehead on his chest.
Bella put one of her cool hands on Edward's shoulder and the other on his wrist. At the feel of her hands on his body, Edward calmed and opened his eyes.
"Does it hurt?" Bella asked, smiling down at her friend.
Edward thought a moment while he opened his wrist and slid his hand into Bella's. With a gentle squeeze, he said, "Not in comparison."
Forty-five minutes later, Edward had posed for his own picture and watched as Laurent hung it on the hall among the others. His arm was now bandaged as he and Bella were laughing as they made their way back across town.
"I can't believe it's going to take so long to heal. I want to see it already!" Bella exclaimed.
"It doesn't look like much now except for raw, bleeding skin. You want to see that?" Edward teased as Bella made a face.
"What will Esme and Carlisle say when they see it?" Bella asked.
"Let's wait awhile until we find out."
"Seriously? You're not going to tell them?"
"I hadn't been planning on it. I mean, I'm not going to lie about it, but I don't think they're really going to be happy about it. At least not having talked to them first. But I'm 18 now, I can do what I want," he said, faux defiantly.
"Oh, please! You're 18 and a day! Hardly the daredevil."
"I didn't see you getting a tattoo!"
"Because I'm not 18!" Bella yelled as she pushed him away from her.
"Oh, so you're saying you would have if you were 18? You heard Laurent – he was ready to do yours next!" Edward laughed, remembering Bella's reaction to Laurent's previous words.
"We'll see," Bella said with a coy smile. She laughed and changed the subject before Edward could interrogate her more about her tattoo. "Where are we going now?"
Edward shook his head. "You'll see."
The sun was starting to peak around the dark clouds and the streets were more crowded now that it wasn't raining. In the distance, though, more storm clouds could be seen approaching the city. Because of the tattoo parlor's proximity to the hotel, they continued along the same path they'd first started out that morning. Yet this time, they didn't walk around in circles. Bella recognized the familiar buildings in the new light and was a little surprised to see Edward start up the steps of City Hall.
"Edward!" she shouted after him. He turned around and looked at her as she climbed the stairs. "Is this where we were headed all along? Why did we walk in circles in this morning?"
"I couldn't make up my mind. Hence, my breakdown at the wharf." He shrugged and continued inside.
"What are you doing here?" Bella asked in a hushed voice when they were inside.
Even though it was a Saturday afternoon, there was still plenty of activity going on inside the government building and she didn't want to disturb those working. Edward didn't give an answer as they reached the elevator and headed to the fifth floor.
"Wait here," he instructed as they passed a waiting area after exiting the lift.
"Where are you going? What are you doing?"
"Bella," he said, grabbing her arms and looking her in the eye. "Trust me, it's better if you just wait. I don't want you to know what I'm doing before. I'm not going to ask you to lie to Carlisle and Esme. I wouldn't put you in that position, besides, you can't lie." He laughed as he let go and turned away.
Bella had no choice but to accept what Edward was telling her. She took a seat and flipped through the offering of magazines on the coffee table. While waiting for Edward, she read some of the best places dining, shopping and sight seeing in the city. She was reading an article about the concert series held at Marymoor Park every summer, the same concert series they would be attending later in the day, thanks to Jasper, when Edward walked back down the hallway, whistling.
His hands were in his pockets and he smiled at Bella as he passed. She quickly gathered her things and followed him back to the elevator. She waited expectantly, but quietly. When the doors closed, he pulled a hand from its place in his jeans' pocket and held it out to her. He wasn't looked at her and he was still whistling. She took small rectangle he was holing and looked at it.
She recognized the magnetic stripe and codes written on the back and flipped it over, seeing a smiling picture of Edward looking up her. "You got a new license? What's the big deal?"
Edward ignored her and continued whistling.
"Edward. A license?"
He stopped whistling long enough to look at her meaningful before turning back away and resuming the tune. She didn't know what the look meant, but could only assume there was something she was missing. Quickly, she looked at the card again. On the right was a picture of Edward from today. Stamped over his hair on the laminate card was the Washington state seal. There was the license number and expiration date on the top. Followed by his current address. Cullen, Edward Anthony at 654 Riverview Way, Forks, WA 98331. His date of birth was marked largely underneath descriptions of his stature and physical appearance.
"Read it carefully," Edward instructed finishing his song. Bella read over the information again, not catching on.
"It's a license, Edward." He handed over another piece of paper. Bella unfolded it and quickly noted it was a legal document. At the bottom of the page, Edward had signed his name twice. Thinking this was strange, Bella looked closer and read the fine print beneath the lines. Before she could read more than the word 'signature,' she noticed that the two were different. The same elegant script that she immediately recognized as Edward's had written both but the top read 'Edward A. Masen' whereas the bottom was 'Edward A. Cullen.'
"Edward!" She looked at the license again. Edward Cullen. Switching her focus to the legal document again, she read the title across the top. It was a name change form. "You changed your name!"
"That's why I didn't want you to know before."
"So I couldn't talk you out of it? Edward, this is insane." The elevator chimed, announcing their arrival at the ground floor. The doors opened and Bella followed Edward towards the dark outside. The sun had once again sought refuge behind the dark clouds. "Edward!"
"I had to, Bella," he pleaded. "I told you no one would understand."
"Then explain it to me! How do you expect me to understand if you don't tell me anything?"
"I asked Carlisle to adopt me. Did you know that?" He stopped walking at the next block and sat down on a free bench.
"No. When?"
"When we were in Italy. He told me I was family enough already. But it wasn't because I was trying to replace him. I just couldn't go on being a Masen when I'm the only one left."
"No, Edward. You aren't the only –"
"But I am, Bella. My name was a constant reminder of everything I'd lost. I don't need a reminder. I'm not going to forget. It just….it felt like a curse." He hung his head in his hands and tore at the ends of his hair.
Bella placed a hand on his shoulder. "I get it, Edward."
"You do?" He looked up.
"Why do you think I stayed with the Cullen's for as long as I did instead of going home? My father is a walking reminder. I figured my pain was enough of a reminder; I didn't need to feel it every time I looked at him, every time I looked at anything in my house, when I was already feeling it. I get it, Edward. I do."
"Thanks, Bella."
"Good luck explaining that one to Carlisle and Esme," she said, standing.
"Maybe I should lead with the tattoo," he mused, laughing. He checked his watch. "Ready to head to Marymoor? It's a bit of a ways."
"Let's go! Ben Harper awaits!"
Before the others had headed out for the day, they'd arranged to meet at Marymoor Park at 3. Because it was much farther from the center of the city and no one would be near each other during the day, they didn't see any sense in meeting at the hotel first. Bella and Edward decided that they'd walk to the first ferry station and would get a cab on the other side. They were walking through an area of town that neither was familiar with. The wind was picking up and they were getting nervous they wouldn't make it to the ferry before it started to rain. Hedging their bets, they ducked inside a store and asked the cashier the quickest way to the ferry. She explained an easy short cut, one that would take them into a nicer section of town.
Bella was holding onto Edward's arm as he led the way, rushing to make it before the storm started. The wind was stinging Bella's eyes so she kept her head down. She lifted her head to brush her hair away when she looked up and for the first time, focused on the buildings around her. This was a part of town that she was familiar with. She slowed her pace, causing Edward to drag her along as she bit her lip in preparation of the building she was about to see.
"Edward," she called out when she spotted the valet outside the Captain's Resort.
He turned and looked to her. As soon as he'd taken in the frightened look on her face, he was by her side. "Bella, what is it?"
"I…That's…" Bella didn't want to tell Edward what she was seeing. She didn't want to talk about her mom.
Suddenly, Laurent's words from earlier repeated in her mind. "You never get used to constant rain, and, if you do, I pity you." They faded and were soon replaced by Edward's. "Not in comparison."
"Edward."
"What, Bella? What is it?" He was nervous by her sudden change in demeanor, but he felt more confident now that her eyes were focusing on his instead of down the street, off in the distance.
"Can we take Laurent up on his offer?" she asked with a smile.
"Can we….you want to get a tattoo?"
Bella nodded.
"Now?"
She nodded again and turned around, this time pulling Edward along.
"Are you sure about this, Bella?"
"Do you still feel the pain of losing your parents?" she asked, completely ignoring his question.
She'd been kind enough to indulge him earlier in the day and Edward could only think to offer Bella the same kindness. "Of course, I do. It doesn't just go away. Even after I've accepted that they're not coming back."
"Can't you just ignore the pain?"
"Sure, it feels like hell. But I have to let myself feel it. One day, maybe it won't hurt so much." He gave her the only answer he could. He didn't know what she was getting at, he didn't know what had caused the sudden change in heart, and he had a feeling she wasn't going to tell him. "Bella, are you sure you want to do this? Are you sure you're not just making a rash decision?"
Bella shrugged. "I've always thought about getting a tattoo. I know it doesn't really seem like me, but –"
"If it's something you want, Bella, then it doesn't matter whether it seems like you or not. It is you. What you do on your own, that's who you are. If you want this, if you're doing it for yourself and no one else, then you can count me in." He pulled her back, effectively stopping her for a moment before he smiled. "I'll even hold your hand from the start."
"Hey! You were the one who refused!"
"Thought I was tougher than I was," he said with a shrug. He wrapped his arm around Bella's shoulders and pulled her into his side. "I'm here for you, Bella."
Now on the opposite side of town from they wanted to go, and not owning the required patience to walk, they easily hailed a cab. En route, Edward sent a text message to Alice, saying they got held up and were going to be late. Bella promised him from saying any more, claiming she wasn't ready to tell anyone else about the imminent body art. Neither thought there would be much argument about the excuse seeing as how a monsoon was only moments away.
When they walked back into the tattoo parlor, named The Lounge as Bella now saw on the sign, Laurent immediately walked from the back. "Something tells me you're not here for you, Edward."
"That's right," Bella said confidently although her voice was a bit shaky.
"You want a matching one?" he asked with a laugh.
"I was hoping for something a bit more delicate?" she offered.
"What'd you have in mind?" Laurent asked, leading her back to his work room. Quietly, Edward followed behind.
Easily, Bella found the delicate star she'd seen earlier and showed it to Laurent. She pointed to the inside of her left wrist when he asked where she wanted it and even when he warned that was an especially sensitive spot, Bella remained brave. She took a seat on the bench that Edward had been laying on, only hours before. Her arm was resting a table, so Laurent would have a steady work space. Edward climbed on the bench next to her and held her other hand in her lap. Bella decided she didn't want the color and that she wanted her star smaller than the original design, but it was no problem for Laurent.
It took only ten minutes to finish the design on Bella's skin and after wiping the blood away, Laurent took Bella's picture and a picture of the star. He placed the Polaroid's next to Edward's on the wall before wishing them a good day for the final time. Bella's wrist was bandaged tightly and she easily managed to hide it inside the arm of her jacket so it wouldn't raise any suspicions. For now, at least.
Having barely lost any time, and still without rain, Edward and Bella were in a giddy mood when they left The Lounge. Once again, they held off on getting a cab to Marymoor and started the walk to the ferry station. Halfway there, though, the skies opened, catching them in a downpour for the second time that day.
A/N: The title comes from John Mayer's "New Deep," which also has a pretty great line about stars and I think fits pretty perfectly. Alas, this one won out. Now tell me, love it or hate it? There are so many of you who I haven't heard from in awhile – are you still there? Still reading? Let me know. 'Cause I miss you.